I don't know a single thing about LotR. So, then, why? Why am I writing this in the first place?
The answer is simple.
I saw the Legolas-with-a-gun meme, and I fell in love with him. Boom. Fanfic.
Now, let's have fun as I butcher Mr. Tolkien's labor of love.
In hindsight, I had been running on twelve hours of sleep and four cups of coffee, and it was really no wonder that I crashed so hard. And between studying for a physics exam and attempting to ward off my stubborn ex, it made a strange sort of sense that I would literally fall out of this universe and into another to escape it all.
Let's back up a little bit, though. Back to February 9th, 11:26 p.m. I was slumped over my desk, cold mug in hand as I stared with glazed eyes at my laptop screen.
"The entropy theory, according to the second law of thermodynamics, in itself is a prime example of…"
A prime example of what? I had no idea. I'd figure it out; I had to. For inspiration, I glanced over at the tiny model of the Enterprise-D I had hanging out on my nightstand, something that usually gave me a boost by itself. But my eyes lit on my phone and the messages coming at me rapidly, and not even thinking of Geordi La Forge was enough to pull me out of the massive slump it sent me into.
I know, I know. I should have deleted his number. Should have blocked him, should have made it clear that he wasn't welcome anymore. I know. I do. But…
Baby, please. I know what I said. I know it's been weeks. But I love you.
- Jake
I'm all alone tonight. Can't stop thinking about you.
- Jake
You're so beautiful, you know that? You always were. No other girl can change that. I love you, I love you, I love you. I want to kiss you right now. I want to show you how I feel about you.
- Jake
Babygirl, come on. Even you can't stay mad forever. You know you still want me. You need me. I love you.
- Jake
They were all so trite, and borderline creepy. How I lasted eight months with Jacob Sanner, I'll never know. I almost rolled my eyes.
Then I saw the most recent one. Recent as in "ten minutes ago" recent. My heart dropped straight to my toes.
That's it. I can't take this anymore, I'm coming over. I'll change your mind, beautiful girl. Hope you still keep the key under the mat.
- Jake
Have you ever had a bucket of ice-cold water dumped on you out of nowhere?
I haven't. But I imagined that this was very similar to how it felt. Jake was coming over, right now. I wasn't even dressed for visitors. I wasn't emotionally ready. I didn't even want to see him!
I will freely admit it: I panicked. I stood blindly, toed on my sneakers and grabbed my backpack because right then my first thought was get out of here. He can't bother you if you're not home, right? Go hang out at the library, or some cafe or something.
It sounded viable. I began throwing essentials in my backpack - notebooks, pens, jacket, wallet, phone, headphones, textbooks. Pepper spray. A switchblade. The latter two were absolutely not part of my study routine, but necessary all the same.
Five minutes later, I stole out the back door and slipped into the alleyway - and just in time, too. I could hear Jake's pickup as it slowly pulled up to my front driveway. If I listened intently, I could even pick up the occasional kick from the trashy trap music he liked to listen to.
I ran.
I will be the first to admit that I absolutely did not handle any of this properly. I should have stayed to tell Jake off, properly and in person. I should have ended it without a doubt weeks ago.
I shouldn't have run blindly into the street with reckless abandon.
I should have looked both ways before crossing, and then I wouldn't have been hit by that car.
But I didn't. And I was.
And I woke up in the study of a man named Elrond, and there was no going back.