"You WHAT!?"
Felix shields his ears and his eyes as Alison practically jumps from her seat on his couch. He channels his breathing so he doesn't sound as freaked as he could. Or as freaked as Alison probably is. Or as freaked as everyone should be. Rightfully should be! (Right?)
Tony, who sits on coffee tables rather than couches and takes up more space than anyone who's ever stayed in the loft, just waves dismissively. "It's really not a big deal. A kiss is a kiss, you know?"
Alison must not since she snaps, "Felix doesn't kiss us, okay? We are his - even though I respect and accept your identity, you are still one of us, Felix's... siblings, and if Felix can kiss you, then-" Alison shudders.
Felix would be insulted if he didn't feel like showering at the mere thought of making out with Alison. He fidgets, suddenly grateful that he's already standing as far from them as his little living room allows.
"How about we stop talking about it?" Felix suggests.
"I think we need to work through this," Alison says.
Sarah chortles in her solo chair. "Like rehab?"
Alison frowns. "It's far too soon for jokes, Sarah."
Cosima nods. "Recovery's no lie. It's, like, the hardest thing people deal with." She waves a hand in thought, amends, "Minus the whole body under attack from unknown disease and, you know, patent bullshit."
Felix agrees. "Right. In the grand scheme of things, this whole... mess is nothing. Nothing at all." Though, everyone's faces in reply don't seem to agree with him. "I mean, it's confusing. I didn't push him away, or anything. I didn't bring him in either." Oh, God, Felix can feel the blood rising to his cheeks. The bile churning in his stomach at the same time makes it a bit more confusing. Why'd there have to be a trans clone? Why a guy who tries to - oh, there's the bile again.
Tony's hand touches his leg, and Felix jumps about a mile away. Tony does that same hands up in surrender thing that Sarah does, which only makes Felix feel even worse. Tony's practically Sarah, not in the obvious biological way, but personality wise, Tony's just like his awful, emotionally unavailable, hot and cold, mother-effing clone ringleader of a sister. Only a guy version.
Tony tries his words this time. He says, "Hey, man, it's your loft, but you might not want to hurl all over it."
"And you might not want to kiss people!" Felix snaps. He clams his mouth shut right after. Shakes his head. Too Alison. He's better than Alison, better than all of them and their reckless predispositions. "This is so confusing. I practically -" Is the room spinning? Is it too hot? He needs a fan. And a drink. "God, it's Maryland all over again."
"Maryland?" Alison repeats.
"Fuck." He'd said that aloud? Felix looks to Sarah for help, but she does that damn surrender hand thing. Gives him the reigns to tell the worst story of their adolescence. Or, rather, early adulthood.
He shortens it, rushes out, "We really needed the money. We — meaning Sarah and I..." He mostly remembers alcohol, lots of it, and tasting too many beers at once and coming out for the second time in his life to a room full of strangers in what they assumed was the biggest meltdown of a closeted man north of Alabama. "God, I can't even say it!"
Cosima's got this open mouthed curiosity, as she leans forward so her elbows rest on her knees. She glances between Felix and Sarah and snorts. "Don't tell me you two…." No denial.
Alison gasps. "Felix!"
"Felix?" He repeats, all high pitched and flustered. "Why not Sarah? Yell at Sarah! She's the one who said pretending to be a couple would get us in much quicker than just sneaking in to the couples retreat."
"And it worked, didn't it?" Sarah has the audacity to laugh. "Made a killing that night."
"Hmm," Alison rubs the dry patch between her eyebrows, "please use a different word choice."
"Made a Aynsley-ing?"
"SARAH!"