Author's Note: Here is our very first gift one shot! This is a present to SenkiroWolf, who won our first contest in the Minivan Escapades! Congrats, SenkiroWolf! Hope you like what we wrote for you.

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: We own Evie, Tvrtko, and the other characters that are clearly ours.

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Cowboys, Bears and Ninjas, oh my!

Evie woke up feeling good. There had been no attacks by Xenos in the night, hadn't been ANY for a few days, there was plenty of food to be scavenged, and it was getting warmer out. Marie had also been relatively pleasant and sane. Things were looking up!

Evie sat up, stretching and cracking her spine, sighing happily in the morning air. Shuffling off her blankets, she went to go start the fire, only to find it already in full blaze. She stood next to it, puzzled. It crackled merrily, but Evie was suddenly getting an ominous feeling.

Checking further, she found breakfast made and half of it eaten. Now panicking, she ran to check Marie's blanket pile. Tossing the coverings about, her worst fears were realized.

Marie was missing.

Wide eyed, Evie began running about camp, getting things in order. She tossed their supplies into Goners, shutting and locking the van, before looking for the two aliens that had decided to follow her and her friend about. Maybe THEY knew where Marie had gone.

Unable to find the one Marie had dubbed Martello, she began looking more vigorously for the one nicknamed Ninja. Finally, she spotted a large, black, humanoid shape in a nearby tree. Looking up, she found Ninja, fast asleep.

Scowling, she leaned down and picked up a small rock. Taking aim, she let it fly, clocking Ninja right in the side of his head.

He started, almost falling off of his branch. He looked down, glaring hard at the defiant woman. Evie began yelling up at him. "HEY! NINJA! Where'd Martello go? You seen Marie at all, either? She's gone missing and that is NEVER a good thing."

Ninja kept glaring, before dropping from the tree, landing with easy grace. Towering over Evie, he crossed his arms. Evie sighed, holding her hands up in a peaceful gesture. "Look, I'm sorry for interrupting your much needed rest. Trust me; I understand more than you know. But, I NEED to find Marie and you're my best bet."

Ninja quirked his head, considering her, before nodding and setting off in a certain direction. Evie only hesitated for a minute before following, hoping that Marie hadn't destroyed anything yet.

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Tvrtko had been having a lovely nap. Dho'mago'te had been on guard, watching over the camp, particularly Dai'za'te. The days were getting warmer, which made him much happier. He'd been enjoying a particularly lovely, if maybe disturbing dream, when he'd been rudely awoken by Faru'qi.

He was puzzled as she shouted at him, dropping from his branch to stand, looking down at her clearly irritated face. She held up her hands, asking him something about Dho'mago'te. He quirked his head, looking about. His partner was, indeed, missing. Looking further, he found Dai'za'te gone as well.

Nodding to himself, he turned and followed the clear scents of his missing comrade and said comrade's pet. The trail was still fairly fresh. They couldn't have been gone long.

Striding through the trees, he made sure to keep looking behind him, ensuring that Faru'qi was not far behind. It would not due to lose her. Dho'mago'te would be annoyed.

They broke through the trees and spotted an Ooman structure. He looked down as Faru'qi began jabbering, then took off towards the building. He rolled his shoulders, an Ooman gesture he'd picked up, before going after her.

He easily caught up, keeping pace with her slow run. They made it to the structure and he looked at it. It was so strangely made. As he spent time staring curiously at the architecture, he caught a glimpse of Faru'qi going into the building.

Sighing, he followed. He had wanted to look at the building further. But, there were voices coming from within. It had to be Dai'za'te or some other Oomans. He decided, for the sake of prudence, to cloak himself, in case the voices belonged to Oomans that would not be so receptive to his presence.

As he carefully slid around the corner, he cloaked, hiding himself from view. Gazing about the small room, he noticed no other Oomans. There were no heat signatures, aside from a strange box against the wall.

Faru'qi was kneeling in front of it, waving her arms, looking about. He uncloaked and walked forward and she bared her teeth. He stopped, uncertain what this meant. Dho'mago'te had assured him that this gesture, among Oomans, was a good thing, but Tvrtko was not convinced.

She gestured at him, then at the strange box. He kept hearing the name that the other had dubbed him, something like Nee'ngha. He shook his head. What could that possibly mean?

Faru'qi kept gesturing at the box and he sighed. There was nothing here. Clearly, Faru'qi thought otherwise. He strode forward and shoved the box away, peering behind it as it crashed to the floor. He looked up again to find that Faru'qi was glaring at him.

He quirked his head. What had he done now? He always seemed to aggravate her somehow. She stood, flailing at him and chattering angrily. He stood back and pointed. "See, Faru'qi? Nothing. Dai'za'te and Dho'mago'te are not here."

She just seemed to angrier and flung some sort of Ooman lighting device, that had previously been on, at him. He dodged and it shattered behind him. She was learning down to get something else when he heard Dho'mago'te's voice.

"YOU'RE CHEATING!"

Distracted, he was barely able to throw up an arm as a plant came flying at him. He deflected it, hissing as some of the spines on it stuck in his flesh. Scowling he brushed most of the spines out of his arm, and then glared at Faru'qi. Before she could grab something else to fling at him, he scooped her up, flinging her over the shoulder not housing his burner.

He strode towards the back of the structure, Faru'qi flailing and screaming at him. As he went out the back door, he came upon a most confusing sight. It was strange enough that even Faru'qi, who had twisted up and about to look to the front, stopped her yowling.

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Evie blinked at the spectacle in front of her. Marie and Martello were standing face to face a few feet from each other, both looking clearly irate. Marie stomped her foot and huffed. "I TOLD you! BEAR MAULS NINJA!"

Martello shook his head, releasing his blades and making a stabbing motion. Marie shook her head vigorously, pig tails bobbing. "No no no! I TOLD you! THAT Ninja is different from ninjas! See?

Marie proceeded to imitate someone throwing a shuriken, then the same stabbing motion. "There! Ninjas throw shuriken! NINJA stabs things!"

Martello began nodding, clearly figuring out what she'd been trying to get across. Marie smiled, brightening immensely. "Okay! Then let's try it again, shall we? Back to back!"

As Marie turned to put her back to Martello's, she finally noticed their audience. She blinked, surprised. "Hi Evie! Hi Ninja! Did you miss us?"

Evie sighed. "I was just worried when I woke up and you weren't there."

"Oh, I was just fine! I'm sorry, I just wanted to give you and Ninja alone time! Quality time together is very important for budding relationships."

Evie scowled, frown deepening. "For the last time, Ninja and I do NOT have a 'budding relationship' as you insist upon calling it. He gives me DEAD THINGS! He's like a cat. He's my pet more than anything else."

Marie just nodded, giving her a knowing wink. "Of course that's what it is!"

"Yeah, well, what about YOU two, huh? Getting some quality time of your own?"

Marie sniffed daintily. "Pish! I was teaching Martello the fine sport of Bear, Ninja, Cowboy!"

Evie just stared. Marie huffed in irritation. "You would not BELIEVE how annoying this language barrier has made things. It's taken me FOREVER to get him to recognize the difference between OUR Ninja and ninjas in general. Fortunately, whoever used to live in that house was a huge Jackie Chan buff!"

Evie opened and shut her mouth several times, before shaking her head. Ninja had shifted her so that she was perched on his arm and she felt vaguely like a parrot. "Ninja, let's leave these whackos to their 'fine sport'. I think I need to go back to bed."

Ninja seemed to understand, as he stopped conversing with Martello, and the exasperated pair walked off, Evie still hitching a ride on Ninja's arm.

Marie shrugged, then waved. "Have a nice… Ahem, nap! We'll be back later. Before tea time! Don't do anything I wouldn't do!"

Marie received no response, so she turned back to Martello. "Well, now that THEY'RE taken care of, you remember what I showed you on the TV? Just copy those three things and we'll be good! So, back to back!"

The two did so, then walked out three paces, before turning. Marie raised her arms above her head, flailing and yelling. "BEAR!"

At the same time, Martello shot off a blast from his laser cannon. It went flying and knocked down a few trees. Marie frowned, hands on her hips. "No no no! I TOLD you! The cowboy doesn't use real weapons! Oh, well. You win this round! Good job!"

Martello seemed to brighten, before scooping Marie up and twirling her about. She protested, flailing. "Hey now! This is NOT Bear, Cowboy, Ballerina!"

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Author's End Note: In case anyone was curious, the game that Marie is attempting to teach Martello is a twist on Rock, Paper, Scissors, dubbed Bear, Ninja, Cowboy.

The game is as follows: The two people stand back to back and walk out three paces. The two yell turn and face each other, making one of three hand motions and yelling what they are.

Bear – Arms above head, hands like claws, flailing about

Ninja – Crouch and look like you're flinging a bunch of shuriken (Frisbee pose!)

Cowboy – Stand straight and make finger guns, looking like you're shooting them back and forth

Now, the winner is chosen like this: Bear mauls Ninja, Ninja shanks Cowboy, Cowboy shoots Bear

Yes, it makes no sense and is ridiculous. But so is Rock, Paper, Scissors! So, get out there and enjoy a rousing game of Bear, Ninja, Cowboy!

Ta ta!