WISDOM TOOTH
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Chapter 1: Wisdom tooth?
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Sunlight flitted through the simple but elegant curtains that framed the thick oak shutters. Sebastian pulled the drapes back, bathing his master's room in the bright morning rays. The rustling of cloth woke the head of the Phantomhive house, the thirteen-year-old Earl Ciel Phantomhive, who grumbled as he extracted himself from his luxurious silk bed sheets.
The butler poured fine Ceylon tea into a Wedgewood cup, and proffered said beverage to the grumpy boy, who accepted it with a haughty nod. No thank-yous from this brat.
The morning rituals were disrupted by a low groan from the Earl, who was rubbing the side of his face with a pained grimace.
"Is something wrong, young master?" Anybody else would have mistaken the butler's attitude for concern, but Ciel knew better. His butler was a demon bound to his bidding by a contract, and though Sebastian was required by their bond to safeguard the boy's life, the demon took great pleasure in belittling his master, and enjoyed seeing the boy suffer.
"My teeth hurt." Clearly, the Earl was a man (boy) of few words.
"If you wish, shall I have a look at it?"
"…."
Ciel mentally debated the sanity of allowing Sebastian to assess his medical condition. Considering that Sebastian could perfectly substitute for a dance teacher, a fencing instructor and a hunting dog, awarding him the role of doctor should not be totally unreasonable. Besides, Sebastian had mauled several assassins and other members of the underworld on Ciel's orders, and God know how many more before he was contracted to Ciel; so it was likely that he had a pretty thorough understanding of human anatomy, despite his twisted opinions of the same.
The boy nodded. "Fine. But be careful."
"Certainly." The demon bowed with a hand on his chest, the personification of the high-class English butler. Grinning, he taunted, "After all, the young master's disposition is very frail even by human standards. Now please say 'Aah'."
Ciel refused point-blank to demean himself by doing something as childish as saying 'Aah', but nevertheless grudgingly opened his mouth for Sebastian's inspection.
The demon peered at his gums for a while, before exclaiming, "My my, how unusual! It appears that the Young Master has grown a wisdom tooth."
"….Wisdom tooth?"
"Indeed. Generally, wisdom teeth manifest themselves when humans reach adulthood, however it seems that the young master's wisdom tooth has emerged quite early." Sebastian appeared to ponder for a moment, and then theorized with a mocking closed-eye smile, "Perhaps it is a result of the young master's more…. mature outlook of life?"
"Hmmph. A tooth is simply enamel, life experiences have nothing to do with it."
Sebastian chuckled. "As you say. Now, the pain you are experiencing appears to be caused by your new wisdom tooth. Normally, the ache should subside and disappear after a few hours…"
The butler paused, and Ciel had a premonition that he would NOT like the cunning butler's next words. His fears proved well-founded, as the butler said, "However it would be safer to temporarily abstain from sweet items, at least until your gums have adjusted to your new dental composition."
Ignoring Ciel's suddenly pale face, the black-clad butler continued with a brilliant smile that was nonetheless purely evil, "You comprehend what this means, don't you, young master? I will be maintaining a strict control over your diet for the time being. That means no gateau, pie, chocolate, or any other form of dessert till your ache subsides." The butler smiled even wider, relishing his master's horrified expression. "It wouldn't do for the young master to get cavities, would it?"
Ciel was tempted to protest, but he knew it would only amuse Sebastian even further. Not wanting to admit that the demon had successfully gotten under his skin, Ciel attempted to better understand the extent of his torture. "For how long?" he questioned, trying to maintain a neutral expression on his face.
"I believe two days would be an optimistic estimate." Again, that infuriating smile! It grated on Ciel's nerves, and he was tempted to order the butler never to smile again.
Two days, the (barely) teenager mused. It didn't seem too bad. Ciel nodded, confident that he could hold off from sweet delicacies for a short while. After all, his toothache had rather ruined his appetite.
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"A wisdom tooth? Isn't it a bit too early for the young master to grow a wisdom tooth?"
The three idiots (servants) of Phantomhive manor were gathered in the hallway, taking a break from their chores. The old man Tanaka was sipping tea in the corner, not participating in the conversation (he seldom did).
Finny, being a simpleton, enthusiastically exclaimed, "That's because the young master is very clever, he is!"
Bard was skeptical, and snorted in disdain at the foolish suggestion. "Heh. Even if the young master is clever, he's still a kid. He's much too young for a wisdom tooth. It's more likely that Sebastian made a mistake."
For a whole minute, the other Phantomhive servants simply stared at Bard, wondering if they had somehow misheard him; since it was incomprehensible for the words 'mistake' and 'Sebastian' to be in the same sentence. After all, the butler always miraculously saved the day and managed to undo all the disasters and havoc the three idiots caused. They had never seen Sebastian make a mistake, and he was always precise, neat and meticulous; in short, he was perfect.
"Mister Sebastian doesn't make mistakes, no he doesn't!" Mey-rin responded hotly. Trust the dreamy maid to rush to the defense of her long-time crush. Raising her voice accusingly at Bard, she demanded hotly, "Have you ever seen him do something wrong?"
Bard, unable to come up with a single incident to support his opinion, simply snorted and looked away. His eyes alighted on the pots and pans, giving him a sudden idea.
"Alright! Since the poor young master has a toothache, I, chef Bardroy, shall improve his mood by preparing a nutritious but tasty meal!"
Clapping their hands at his brilliance, the other two servants cheered him on, but their euphoria was disrupted by a large dark shadow. Gulping, the idiot trio turned to face a clearly annoyed Sebastian. "Kindly desist in your culinary endeavors, Bard, as you are incapable of even the simplest of meals. I shall take over the kitchen, and I must insist that you stay away from the young master's food. Far, far away."
After shooing the pests from the kitchen, the diligent butler pulled out a few recipes from his cookbook, pondering deeply. "The young master must have soft and easy-to-swallow food, so I suppose porridge would be a good idea…."
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Four o'clock and Ciel was already longing for some dessert. Normally, Sebastian would relieve him of his boredom of business work with a lemon pie or meringue. Ciel better appreciated the true worth of the pie; now, when it was out of his reach.
Yet his pride would not back down. He would persevere, and he would show that demon how strong he was. After all, how hard could it be to overcome his craving for sweets?
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Two more hours and Ciel was cursing his pride, his tooth, his butler (not that that would have any effect, seeing as the butler was a demon from Hell) and most of all, the apple tart that pervaded his thoughts and tantalized his taste-buds whenever he closed his eyes.
Briefly the boy considered Bard's theory that Sebastian was mistaken. (The pretend-cook's boisterous voice could be heard clearly even from Ciel's study; which is why the butler could immediately interfere with Bard's grand plans, before he could destroy the kitchen in a well-meaning attempt at what was, technically, Bard's job). Ciel scoffed. He never knew why his small team of lethal assassins even bothered with household chores; they were pathetic at simple everyday tasks, and only made more of a mess for Sebastian to clean. Besides, the demon was more than capable of managing the sprawling estate on his own, and he had made it expressly clear that he did not appreciate the other servants' …..'assistance' (merely being polite, we all know how much 'help', or rather headache, they were). Ciel chuckled. He rather enjoyed the demon's anger at the never-ending work the idiot trio's failures gave him.
But he was digressing. Now his sweet-deprivation was affecting his mental faculties….
Ciel knew it was close to impossible that the demon had made an error of judgment, but the excuse should be sufficient to wring some delicacy out of Sebastian, should things become worse…
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Twelve hours. That was the total sugar-free time Ciel endured before disregarding his aching tooth and demanding chocolate gateau for dinner. Sebastian, however, (predictably) refused.
Ciel attempted to bully the stoic butler into bowing to his wishes. "Really, Sebastian, I'm ordering you to serve me something sweet. Aren't you supposed to follow my orders without question? If that's the case, then aren't your current actions against your aesthetics?" Ciel hoped that the transparent blackmail would work, though he rather doubted it.
The demon shook his head, feigning regret while inwardly smirking with glee. "That may be true, young master; but looking out for your health is my utmost priority. My aesthetics prevent me from doing something that harms the young master's fragile body, and serving you chocolate gateau obviously fits into the latter category."
Damn Soma and Agni for introducing Sebastian to this new logic! He used the pacifist duo's reasoning to circumvent many of Ciel's orders, on the pretext that he was looking out for Ciel's health.
Ciel was adamant. "My toothache has diminished considerably (a little white lie), and I consider myself well enough to indulge in dessert. Now hurry up, Sebastian, I crave for chocolate."
"A craving for chocolate does not necessarily mean that you should give in to the feeling. Rather, young master, do you not think this is an educational experience? There is a popular theory that temporary abstinence is the best way to overcome the body's desires. Exercising restraint is believed to make humans stronger."
Ciel knew what the demon was doing. Sebastian was taking a stab at his weakness, at the same time appealing to his pride. Accepting the challenge would only add flame to the butler's veiled insults when Ciel was finally on his knees and begging for chocolate.
Ciel knew it was a taunt, he was well aware that the demon was baiting him into doing something foolish, but he could not back down. Dismissing the butler with an ambiguous "Hm", the boy collapsed into his favorite armchair and pulled out a detective novel in a desperate attempt to take his mind off his current dietary problems.
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Needless to say, Ciel's coping mechanism was woefully inadequate. The book was open on the same page, and his mind was far away, in a dream that involved cinnamon pie, éclairs and carrot cake, in vast quantities, and no infuriating butler to hinder him from sinking his teeth into their creamy goodness.
The dream was enhanced by the faint but unmistakable scent of chocolate pervading his nose. For a few minutes, the boy dismissed the smell as a hallucination of his exhausted mind. When he realized that the delectable aroma was very much real, Ciel immediately stood up, and dashed to the kitchen at a speed Sebastian would never have believed him capable of.
His suspicions were surprisingly accurate, as he found his black-clad butler carefully laying the final touches to an extravagant chocolate cake, Ciel's favorite dessert.
Ciel knew not to look a gift horse in the mouth, and this act of supreme kindness from the sadistic butler was equivalent, not to a gift horse, but to a stable of golden unicorns. No, the butler definitely had something under his sleeve; the cake was obviously a Trojan horse signaling the boy's doom.
Feigning nonchalance, Ciel drawled casually, "I see you have changed your mind about dessert. Tell me Sebastian, what happened to the merits of temporary abstinence?"
"My earlier argument still stands, young master. Regrettably (though he id not look sorry at all), I must inform you that this cake is not for you."
Ciel was flabbergasted, and it showed clearly in his slack-jawed countenance. "Not for me?" he echoed hollowly, his fleeting good humor vanishing as if he was doused in ice-cold water.
"Why of course, young master. I would never dream of aggravating your dental problems by serving you an inappropriate diet."
Smirking widely, the devious butler continued, "After all, there are the other inhabitants of the manor to consider. I am often too engrossed in preparing the finest delicacies for you, that I fail to address the servants' needs for dessert. I am simply taking advantage of my free time to reward them with a scrumptious meal."
Liar! Sebastian was rubbing salt in his wounds, by baking for the servants the cake which Ciel so desperately longed for.
The idiot trio chose this cataclysmic moment to stroll into the kitchen. They stopped short and gawked at the unusual sight before them. The young master, who had previously never ventured into the kitchen (probably because of the chef's penchant for explosives), was standing in the centre of the sprawling room, aghast and ashen-faced; while the butler was perfecting a delicious cake, indifferent to the boy's visible outrage. Deciding that this wasn't the best time to interfere, the three wisely chose to retreat, away from the electrifying tension in the kitchen.
Ciel mentally debated his options, but in the end, hunger won out. "Bah, I don't care. Hand the cake over this instant."
"I'm sorry, young master, but cannot do that. Please understand that I am only acting in your best interests."
Hypocrite, Ciel fumed. Extreme measures were necessary. Enforcing the strategy he had planned during his sugar-free evening, he said slyly, "I realize that you are acting 'in my best interests', however this case may not require your heartwarming efforts. To put things simply, I believe that your diagnosis of my dental problem is inaccurate, and hence the restrictions you have imposed on my diet are completely unnecessary. I declare myself completely fit, and I want my chocolate cake."
Sebastian was unshakable. "I fear to be impolite, young master; but I must object. My analysis has never been at fault. I have researched extensively on the subject during the course of this afternoon, and I can state with utmost certainty that the young master has a wisdom tooth, which is the source of his pain. I can say with equal authority that the consumption of sugary items would only result in the pain escalating, a situation I believe the young master would be wise to avoid."
"You may have researched on the subject, but that does not change the fact that you are not a doctor, and so have no authority to make such claims. I refuse to accept that I have a wisdom tooth, unless vouched by a legally qualified doctor."
Sebastian sighed, and then relented. "Very well, young master. I shall make an appointment with a reputed dentist early tomorrow morning, and we can end this discussion once in for all."
Ciel nodded, and his mind quickly returned to the objective of this bickering and compromise with the demon butler. "I agree. Set up an appointment. We shall meet the dentist as soon as possible. Now hand over that cake."
The butler had no alternative but to comply. Shaking his head, Sebastian cut a large slice of the dessert for his smug master, who wasted no time in digging into the enticing chocolate.
The effect was immediate. "Ouch!" the boy exclaimed, dropping his spoon and clutching his aching jaw.
"Now, now, young master" the butler wagged his finger reprovingly, holding the mouth-watering cake out of the skinny boy's reach as he scrunched his eyes in pain. "I warned you that sweet items would not be good for you, but you simply didn't listen. I hope you now realize how childish your demands were, and keep away from unhealthy items."
Ciel winced. He had worked so hard, resorted to such trickery, and yet he could not win against his damned butler. And now he was being admonished like a disobedient child. (Well, he was disobedient, and still pretty much a child, but that was not the point). Enraged, Ciel pried the cake out of the grinning butler's hands, and fibbed, "Nonsense. My exclamation was a reflex action, I feel no pain whatsoever. I am starving, and I shall finish this entire cake. Now leave; do you not have other chores to attend to?"
Smirking, the butler bowed and left his master to his dessert, enjoyed the boy's pained expression as he stubbornly swallowed bite after bite of the cake, all the while clutching the side of his face.
After Sebastian had tucked him into bed that night, Ciel caressed his aching gums, and reflected that maybe he had let his pride get the better of him after all.
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This is my first Black Butler fanfiction. As you can see, it is just a little drabble with no specific timing or meaning to it. I just realized how incredibly difficult it is to write fanfiction for Kuroshitsuji. The way of writing must reflect 1880 speech styles, and requires a lot of effort. I spent two weeks on this, and am pretty nervous about the response to this rather eccentric piece of work.
I want your opinion on a couple of things:
The whole gift horse analogy – was it good? Was it nauseously lame?
I really wanted to put a 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory' reference, but I wikied it, and found that the book was published only in 1964.
Round 1 goes to Ciel, but there will be a Round 2. Next, they go to the dentist!
You know the drill; please read and review. Thank you for your time and effort.