Hey guys! So this is the first chapter to my very first multi chapter fanfiction. Yay!

This one is a pre- series, Stanford era fanfiction set a few months into Sam and Jess's relationship.

I personally wish we got to see more of flashbacks into the boy's childhood, because really, we can only guess what their life was like with the little information we get given on the show. I always wondered what Dean would have done if Sam got seriously sick or hurt while he was in Stanford, thinking about it, I thought it would go something like in this story.

Really though, writing this story I just wanted to an excuse to get Dean and Jess talking about Sam. So what do I do? Haha I guess you'll have to read and find out.

Alright let's get this story started!

The man I loved

Chapter 1

Sam Winchester had been good at hiding his pain, he always seemed so determine to play it off as nothing and deny any kind help. I always guessed it had something to do with his past, though, I wouldn't really know.

Even after almost two years of being together, my boyfriend still won't talk to me about any of his past experiences, or anything to do with his family for that matter. The only things I know are that he has a big brother, Dean, and a father, John, and that they moved around a lot when he was younger due to his father's job, not that I know what that is.

Sam has always been very secretive and mysterious, I guess that could be one of the things that drew me to him in the first place, though now, after all this time, it hurts a bit that he still won't talk to me, doesn't he trust me? No, that's not it. I feel that there is something dark, like some horrible secret about his past, maybe he is afraid to tell me, maybe he thinks that it would change something between us, though, I don't understand what could be so horrible. I love him, and no matter what it is, I will find out, and it won't change a thing. I just need to make him see that.

It's not like I haven't tried, my boyfriend is often plagued with horrible nightmares about something that is unknown to me. But by his reactions every time he comes out of one, I am sure it's terrifying. he would wake up in the middle of the night, screaming, or hyperventilating, or in some cases even crying, and when I try to ask him what it's about, or try and talk to him about it in any way, he again, shrugs it off and tries to assure me it's nothing. I don't believe it for a second.

I've now learned to read Sam, better than most people could. I can tell when he is in pain, physically or emotionally, and though I don't know much about the emotional pain he goes through, my presence always seems to comfort him, and for that I'm grateful.

When he started getting random headaches every once in a while, I didn't think much of it. I played it off as just stress from school, and as he always likes to tell me every time he is in pain, he's had worse. Which I must say, wasn't the most comforting thing to hear as he was laying in hospital with a broken leg and a head injury a few short months ago when we got in a car accident. What kind of past did he have that he always seems to be able to say that he's had worse? It honestly worries me and if I had it my way, by now I would already know everything about Sam's past. But it's not up to me. He is very guarded and stubborn, which means that if he doesn't want to talk about something, there is no way I'm getting any information out of him. All I can do is try my best to make the man I love comfortable enough around me to let his guard down.

But then the headaches started getting worse and more frequent, that's when I started to worry, maybe something is really wrong? But my boyfriend, as always, plays them off, even when he is sitting on our couch grasping is head in pain. Yeah Sam, I'm sure you're just fine.

It was when it started to affect his every day activities that I decided to take action, something further them just giving him some aspirin and telling him to rest, which he also often refused to do.

After a weeks of constant begging from me and his other friends, who were starting to get equally worried about him, he decided to drop his 'I'm fine' act and let me take him to the doctors. We were going to go in the afternoon when it happened.

It came out of nowhere, one minuet Sam was up, talking to me about some stuff he has learned in his law class, and the next he was on his knees, grabbing his head with both of his hands and screaming in pain.

"Sam!"

I yelled and ran towards him, kneeling on the floor next to him, trying to figure out what on earth is going on.

"Sam, please talk to me!"

I pleaded, but the next thing I know, his eyes roll to the back of his head and he is unconscious.

"Oh my god, Sam!"

I yell, shaking him, trying to get any sort of reaction or response. What I got, was not at all what I wanted and to say the truth, it terrified me. My boyfriend, the man I love, started seizing uncontrollably.

I knew what to do from the first aid classes I took when I was younger, I quickly grabbed a blanket from the couch and made it into a makeshift pillow which I placed under his head. I pushed away the coffee table to insure he won't hit it and I took my phone out dialling 911.

So that's it for chapter 1. Hope you guys liked it!

Please leave reviews. Any advice, criticisms, thoughts, or guesses of what going to happen next are welcome!

I'm hoping to post a new chapter every day or two.

-Mika xxx