A/N: Humanization AU, info and images on my tumblr, Shirohibiki, under /spongebobau since links don't seem to work
"And so I really think we should… … Spongebob?"
"Uh huh…"
"Spongebob?"
"Mmhmm?"
"Spongebob!"
Finally, a head of blond hair snapped to attention, cerulean eyes focusing on the person before him speaking. "Wha huh?"
"Helloooo? Earth to Spongebob!" Patrick waved a hand in front of his best friend's face, appearing to be miffed. "Geez, buddy, how long are you gonna stare at Squidward? It's been like fifteen minutes! We should be planning!" Spongebob and Patrick had decided on a sleepover for that evening, and needed to come up with a list of things to do and bring. Sleepovers were serious business! But… Spongebob was finding it a bit difficult to pay attention to the situation at hand. He and Patrick were in his back yard, sitting at the table on the patio, while Squidward was gardening in his own. Unsurprisingly, Squidward was entirely ignoring his idiotic neighbors and instead concentrating on tending to his growing seedlings.
"Uhm, yeah, I know, it's just…" Spongebob couldn't help it – his gaze wandered back over to that tall, dark and handsome beauty standing over there by his garden. A dreamy sigh escaped him. Gosh, he was so pretty… And he was wearing some very nice shorts today. Sadly not booty shorts, but they weren't entirely knee-length, either. And oh—there it was—Squidward turned and bent over to pat down some soil on a newly planted flower. Spongebob bit back a grin, cheeks reddening while he squirmed a little in his seat. "Oooh, baby…" Patrick slapped a hand to his forehead in exasperation.
"Spongebob… Listen, I get it, I know you're super in love with him and that's fine – but other people need your attention too y'know! I'm just as important, aren't I?" Even if the importance was in a different way, it was still the same, right? It wouldn't be fair otherwise!
"Wh—" Spongebob had to stop staring at that delicious butt to whip around once more. "What?! Of course you are, Pat! Why wouldn't you be?" Patrick gave him a look.
"I dunno, you tell me. I've only been trying to talk to you for the past forever and you've been too busy making googly eyes at him! Can't you do that when we're not trying to plan a sleepover?" Spongebob winced under Patrick's glare – this was quickly sobering him up from his Squidward-high. His friend was right… He knew that. It was just that he got… Distracted sometimes. Squidward made his heart pound and skip in so many wonderful ways. That was no excuse to neglect his friends, though! Sandy got annoyed at him for it sometimes too… Oh, geez, he was a terrible friend!
"I—I'm sorry, Patrick! I didn't mean to..! I love you too, honest!" Spongebob whimpered out, lip wibbling. "I'm sorry if I'm being a bad friend!" The chubbier man sighed, rubbing through his pink locks.
"You're not a bad friend. But would you like it if I ignored you all day for Mindy when you were trying to hang out with me?"
"N-no…" A sniffle. Spongebob felt so ashamed. Did he really have that little self-control? Did he really have to swoon over Squidward every five seconds? It was entirely unnecessary!
"Then c'mon, let's go get some food… And actually discuss our sleepover. … Without Squidward."
"Hnnngh…" Spongebob stole one last look at Squidward as Patrick tugged him by the arm towards the back door. He really had to shape up! Once inside, he latched onto his companion guiltily. Patrick took to rooting through his fridge to find something to eat. "Oh, Pat, I'm so sorry… It's just hard sometimes… It gets all pent up, and I can't do anything about it… So it gets distracting. I know that's not an excuse! I…"
Patrick stopped rummaging and turned to pull away and look at Spongebob. His expression had changed – it now held more concern than anger.
"… You seem sadder lately, Sponge. I worry sometimes." Spongebob's eyes widened. He faltered, suddenly finding a random pot on the stove to be very interesting.
"… No, I'm okay. You know it happens once in a while. It'll pass." Occasionally, he went through bouts of depression over his love troubles and Squidward's lack of appreciation for him – especially as time went on and things seemed less and less hopeful.
"Maybe you should start trying to find a different jar of Nutella." It wasn't that Patrick was against Spongebob having feelings for Squidward – it was that it tended to interfere with their friendship sometimes, and it seemed to take its toll on his poor friend's heart, too. It could be upsetting to watch.
Spongebob's body stiffened – that was not something he liked to hear. "Patrick, don't," he warned, tone growing sharp. "I know how to handle myself by now. I don't want a new one."
"But… What if you never get to open this one?"
"Then I… Then I don't. Maybe someday I'll start thinking about another… But for now, I'll keep trying for the one I have." Patrick gave no retort to this. Instead, he merely opened his arms to offer a hug. The other huffed stubbornly for but a few moments before giving in.
It was a quiet, sullen embrace. The water felt still and heavy. Spongebob soon melted, muffling a noise or two into Patrick's chest while Patrick merely patted his back.
"I don't wanna have to miss my best friend when he's standing right in front of me," Patrick said, brow furrowed. "I know it's tough. I'm here if you need me. But… Remember that I need you too."
The weight of the remorse caused Spongebob to quiver. He could only nod, tugging at Patrick's shirt.
Patrick was his rock. He was always there to stabilize him. He was big, warm and soft, and would gladly be your teddy bear until you felt better. To cast him aside was unfair – he wasn't worth any less than Squidward. He deserved equal regard. Spongebob would just learn how to balance things better to make sure he knew just how much he was cared for.
"We can watch your favorite Mermaidman and Barnacleboy movie and all your favorite episodes first," Spongebob said in a tiny voice. At last, Patrick smiled.
"Yay! I can't wait! Let's stay up all night, okay, buddy?"
"Yeah. I'll make it the best sleepover ever, I promise."