A/N: yeah, so this idea came to me, and I just kind of had to run with it. expect very short (but quite a few) chapters. currently kind of plan on updating this often. i've got 15 of these short chapters prepared already.

I'm really fucking sorry universe for this story because it's kind of crack.

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Eren remembered the day that it happened, the day that he went on Craigslist to find a hookup and ended up with his professor.

It all started because of his roommate Jean Kirstein.

Actually, no, like every other college story, it started with because of some beers. (And also, because of Jean.)

It all began on the first Friday night of Eren's second quarter of school at De Anza, a community college, in Cupertino, California. He was hanging out with his usual crowd in his apartment. His roommate Jean, who he'd found on Craigslist was there, as was their co-worker Marco. His sister Mikasa was there too, along with her friend and roommate Annie. The two of them lived in the same complex as Eren and Jean, on the same floor even, but the boys had a corner apartment and so theirs was slightly larger. As a result, the girls frequently hung out in their apartment. Armin had come too, all the way from Stanford's campus, a couple of miles away. Armin was the only one in their group that didn't go to De Anza, but he was Eren's best friend from high school, and so, he was there too.

They were drinking with the exception of Eren, and Jean, for some reason, started talking about how hot his new science professor was.

"She's like a total babe," Jean always said stupid shit like that, which totally annoyed Eren, but Eren did his best not to get angry, he'd been working on his temper a lot lately. Especially after what had happened, "and she totally wants me."

Eren changed his mind, now, annoyed. That couldn't be true, there was no way some science professor wanted Jean, "Yeah, right."

"She does, the ladies can't get enough of me. Isn't that right, Mikasa?" Jean winked at her. He was always doing stupid shit like that.

"Oh my god, shut up," Eren took a big swallow of his water, wishing it were beer, but knowing better than to risk it ever again, "you've never even kissed a girl."

"Have you?" Armin asked, taking sudden interest in the conversation.

Usually, Armin was on Eren's side, and this sort of made Eren sputter a bit. Instead of responding, he opted for swallowing more of his water.

"Hold up," Jean shook his head, "all this time, Eren, all this fucking time, you've been giving me shit, and you're a virgin?"

Eren tried denying it, but it was futile, he opted for a different topic, "At least I can make a behind the back shot in beirut."

Eren may not drink anymore, but he still played beer pong.

"Oh? Yeah? You wanna go?" Jean asked. The table was already set up, "Who wants to be on Yeager's team? And who wants to be on mine?"

"I'll be on Eren's team," Mikasa raised her hand.

"Not a fucking chance. You'll carry him, you can be on my team though."

She shook her head.

Eren didn't really care, he took another sip of his water. He was just happy that the topic of his love life or lack thereof was dropped.

It wouldn't be forever though.

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