"Elves love to tell stories. I-I'll bet you didn't know that about elves. There's, uh, probably a lot of things you didn't know about elves. Another, another interesting, uh, elfism, uh, there are only three jobs available to an elf. The first is making shoes at night while, you know, while the old cobbler sleeps," began Papa Elf
[Cuts to elves doing work on the cobbler's shoes while the cobbler snores with his head on the table]
Disgruntled Cobbler Elf: Lazy bum! Couldn't even make a clog!
"You can bake cookies in a tree.
[Cuts to exterior view of a tree, which bursts into flames]
"As you can imagine, it's, uh, dangerous having an oven in an oak tree during the dry season," Papa Elf continued.
[the elves inside run out screaming]
Tree Elf: I want to make shoes!
"Before I get to the final job, I think I should mention that we had two other jobs available to us, that we can no longer do. One of them was fighting alongside men against orcs," Papa Elf continued
[Cuts to a battle scene with elves and men fighting monstrous creatures in battle]
Elf Warrior: I've got your back!
"Well, after too many years of peace, our height went down, so we are no longer fit for battle. Another job that was available to us was working in a wealthy wizard's home, doing household chores
[Cuts to a badly dressed elf vacuuming]
House Elf: You'd think this guy could just magic the vacuum to do the work itself.
"Well, tragically, many elves who took that position were badly mistreated. Fortunately, after a rights movement was passed, we are fortunately no longer in that field. Finally, the third job, some call it, uh, "the show" or "the big dance," it's the profession that every elf aspires to. And that is to build toys in Santa's workshop.