Author's Note:

What's up gang?

Here's a new story for you - don't worry, the next chapter for Monsters in the Night is already mostly written and just needs to be edited before I throw it up.

I love some devilish, Slytherin fun, and I have so many ideas for this story and all the directions it can be taken in. I'm not really sure where it will end up at this point, but I hope it's going to be a fun ride! The chapters will get longer as the story goes on. My intros tend to be shorter because I'm not too fond of writing them most of the time, to be honest. With that being said - this story is going to be more for fun and humor purposes, rather than drama and romance, so please bare that in mind! I just wanted to spend some time with my favorite mischievous trio.

A few disclaimers before we get started!

Disclaimers: This story will have quite a bit of swearing (mature language) in it, as most of my characters will swear at some point or another. This isn't meant to offend anybody and if you're uncomfortable reading that sort of thing, this may not be the story for you! I can't imagine this having any sexual content in it, but it's me, so you never know - so also keep that in mind!

Make sure to leave a comment if you want to, and don't forget to follow/favorite so that you can get updates - which I hope will be quite regular. You can also follow me on Tumblr ( marijuanabreathff) because I'll also be putting announcements for updates there, along with some cool edits and sneak peeks of upcoming chapters and stories.

Okay, without further ado, here you go!

Enjoy! xxx

"You've got to be kidding me."

Pansy shrugged an innocent shoulder. There was a devious glint in her eyes as she took a drink from her glass of champagne and eyed him expectantly.

"Come on Blaise," Draco said. He looked just as gleeful as he swirled the contents of his whiskey glass around in his long, pale fingers. "It's not like we haven't seen it before."

"Excuse me," Blaise's eyes widened. "When have you seen my dick before?"

"Oh please." Pansy scoffed and rolled her eyes. "The night after the Yule Ball? You came barreling into the common room and practically stripped in front of everybody." The memory brought back with-it a round of amused chuckles from around the fireplace.

Blaise's jaw flexed and clenched in annoyance. "I don't remember that." He said curtly. "But I'm not doing it."

"Woah, Woah, Woah," Draco chimed in. "What happened to your whole I never back down from a dare speech?"

"It was all just big talk," Pansy said conversationally. She flipped her hair around casually and took another sip from her glass. "Don't worry Blaise, you can pussy out if you want to." She said.

A hush fell over the group as they continued to drink and listen to the music from the magical speakers that someone had set up just above the fireplace in the Slytherin common room. Just as Pansy had turned to say something more to Draco, Blaise sighed and set his glass down on the table. Draco and Pansy looked at him eagerly.

"Fuck you," Blaise said. He stood to his feet and cracked his neck, looking anxious, before he stepped up onto the coffee table.

Pansy looked positively ecstatic as she leaped over to sit beside Draco and watch the magic unfold before them with eager eyes. Blaise's raised figure began to draw the attention of those around them.

"Come on then, you big baby," Draco chided loudly.

Blaise seemed to hesitate, but only for a moment. He curled his hands into clenched fists over and over. He looked like he was trying to psych himself up. Then, without warning, he hooked his fingers through the belt loops of his slacks and yanked his pants down around his ankles.

Draco let out a howl of laughter that effectively brought the attention of the entire room of partially wasted Slytherins onto them. Blaise held his hands outward, as though he were ready to accept a gift from Merlin himself, and the wave of laughter from the other students washed over him. Pansy slumped against Draco's shoulder, wiping at the tears that had begun to gather in her eyes. Somewhere on the other side of the room someone whistled and cheered. Blaise nodded his head, looking thoroughly pleased with himself before he reached down and hiked his pants back up and jumped down from the table.

"I never back down from a dare." He said before he picked up his glass and chugged the rest of his scotch.

Their game of dares had started roughly two weeks ago when Pansy had made a sly comment at the dinner table about Draco not being able to finish his plate of wings. An innocent comment that had turned into a challenge, which Draco had readily accepted, ever the ambitious Slytherin. His stomach had hurt for several hours after he had forced himself to eat all of the wings in sight, but it had been worth it to pass the next dare onto Pansy. He had convinced her to compliment Professor Snape on his hair and to ask what his regimen was. Which she had, after some prodding. He had never seen Snape look so uncomfortable in all the years he had known him. After earning a few laughs from Blaise upon seeing Pansy's red face, the dare had been quickly passed onto him.

For the past two weeks, the trio had forced each other to humiliate themselves for entertainment purposes and they had complied in order to protect their own pride.

"Okay, Draco," Blaise slurred. The tone in his voice caused Draco to pause in bringing his glass to his lips. "I got a good one for you."

"It better be a good one after what he made me do downstairs with the house elves." Pansy scowled in distaste at the memory.

"Whatever it is, I can handle it." Draco tried to sound more confident than he felt as he pounded back the rest of his whiskey. Blaise leaned over from his seat and whispered something into Pansy's ear. This made Draco shift uncomfortably in his seat. "Don't start ganging up on me." He said, unable to help the uneasy tone that had slipped out. "What is it?" He spat. He started to grow antsy the longer they whispered to each other.

Pansy covered her mouth with her hand, failing to mask the look of shock that had overcome her. "That is brilliant." She said.

"What?" Draco asked. "Can you just tell me already?"

"Tell him," Pansy encouraged a glowing looking Blaise.

"Okay, okay." Blaise turned to Draco, who shifted forward on the leather couch to better hear him over the music. "I dare you, Draco Malfoy, to try and court Hermione Granger."

Draco blinked at him. He almost didn't register what he had said. That last glass of whiskey must've made him really drunk. Or the music must be incredibly loud. He had to have misheard him. "I'm sorry?" He asked incredulously.

Pansy giggled behind her newly manicured fingertips. "You heard him." She said. "You've got to try and woo Granger."

"What?" Draco asked again. "You're joking."

"As much as Pansy was when she dared me to whip out my dick in front of the whole common room." Blaise had a smug look on his face as he leaned back in his chair and placed his feet up on the table beside them. "Your move, Malfoy."

Draco shifted on the couch again, suddenly feeling incredibly uncomfortable. Granger? They wanted him to… what? Try and date Granger? This was a little much. He had no problem humiliating himself in front of some third years or pushing himself to his limits by jumping into the black lake in the middle of October, but to try and get with Hermione Granger?

"What's wrong Draco?" Pansy asked as she poured herself another glass of champagne. "You're not scared, are you?"

"Of course not." Draco spat back reflexively. "It's just a stupid dare, that's all." He waved his wand over his glass to refill it before he took another drink to settle the unnerved feeling in his chest.

"Feel free to back down, of course," Blaise said. "No one would think badly of you. Well, except for me and Pansy."

"I'm not backing down," Draco said. He reached a hand up and ran it through his untidy blonde hair. He didn't know why he felt so uneasy. It was only Granger. And it was only a game. He couldn't back down from a dare. "So, what are the terms exactly?" Draco asked, trying to sound bored. "I'm not going to sleep with her, obviously." He leaned back into the couch to feign relaxation.

Blaise and Pansy shared a long glance. "Okay, you don't have to sleep with her," Blaise said with a shrug.

"But you do have to kiss her," Pansy said.

"Hey, this isn't your dare to give. Fuck off." Draco snapped.

"No, no, I like that idea," Blaise said. "You won't have to sleep with her, fine, but you are going to have to get her to kiss you."

"And it has to be where we can see it happen." Pansy piled on.

"Yeah! Otherwise, how would we know that it actually happened?"

Draco rolled his eyes. They were becoming far too excited about this for his taste. His fun time had vanished into thin air.

"What's wrong Malfoy? Think Granger might pass along some mudblood cooties?" Blaise teased.

"Of course not," Draco said. He set his unfinished glass on the table and stood to his feet, wobbling ever so slightly. "I'm going to bed."

"Come on Draco," Pansy said, looking annoyed. "Don't ruin our good time just because you're going to have to forfeit your dare."

Draco glared down at her. "I'm not going to forfeit anything."

"Let him go." Blaise grinned. "He has to go plan how he's going to romance Granger tomorrow."

Draco held up his middle finger as he slipped past them and started towards the boy's dormitory.

"Make sure you bring some flowers! I have a feeling she isn't going to be very happy to see you!" Pansy called after him, causing Blaise to laugh loudly.

Draco shook his head before he disappeared down the stairs to the dormitory. Once he was away from the music and the noise, it became apparent to him how much he had actually drunk that night. He ran a hand through his hair again before he reached over his head and pulled his sweater off. His mind raced as he fell down on top of his bed and looked up at the ceiling.

What was he going to do? They didn't really expect him to try and charm Granger, did they? Surely, they must have had too much alcohol and weren't thinking clearly. Their dares had never wandered into this kind of territory before. For Merlin's sake, this was Granger they were talking about. Know-it-all, head up the professor's ass, Gryffindor extraordinaire. They were setting him up for failure.

But what else could he do? Give up? Back down from a dare with his tail between his legs? The thought made his stomach twinge uncomfortably. No, he couldn't let them win. He wasn't about to be branded a failure because of Hermione Granger.

Besides, it was just one kiss. He had done far worse in his time at Hogwarts than kiss Granger. And it wasn't like he was going to have to get down on one knee and marry her or anything. Just the thought of such a ridiculous idea was enough to make his head spin.

Wait. The thought was appalling, sure, but enough to make the room spin and his stomach churn so violently?

"Fuck." Draco leaped up from his bed and just managed to make it to the bathroom before he puked.