~~~~~~~~~Rated PG-13.
Eris: You worthless piece of filth! Get off your lazy ass and clean Lord Rezo's lab when you finish using it.
Zel: ::grumble:: But he was always messy.
Eris: GET IN THERE!!!! kicks
Zel: Ow. Bitch. Hey, what's this? It looks like an old gizmo of Rezo's. I wonder if it works.
MVG: Asteroids invading the world's atmosphere tampers with the astral plane...
Zel: I believe this turns it on. There we go. What is it?
Voice: Hello?
Zel: Hello?
Voice: Hello?
Zel: Hello?
Voice: How is this happening?
Zel: I hear you through this invention thingy.
Voice: Damn, I thought I was the only one that invented this. Who is this anyway?
Zel: My name is Zelgadis Greywords.
Voice: Bull^%$#!
Zel: What do you mean? It's my name.
Voice: Listen buddy! I don't know who you or how know my grandson's name but...
Zel: What the hell are you talking about? Who is this?
Voice: My name is Rezo but...
Zel: You can't be... You can't!
MVG: Zelgadis Greywords stumbles onto a way to talk to his grand/great grandfather... who's been dead for a whole lot of years.
Rezo: Astroids are allowing us to talk. Past and future. Ok. So, tell me about yourself.
Zel: You turned me into a hideous stone freak and you tried to destroy the world.
Rezo: Oh... Are you married?
Zel: No.
Rezo: Ah, so lil' Zelly is going to grow up to be a virgin loser.
Zel: ::growl:: I am *not* a virgin loser!
Rezo: Then are you gay? I hope you have found a wonderful boyfriend...
Zel: heats Why you...!
Rezo: At least tell me you have a girlfriend...
Zel: Well I... ::blush::
Rezo: sing-song Zelly got a girlfriend... Zelly got a girlfriend...
Zel: ::growls:: SHUT UP!!!
MVG: Experience warm, tender moments between grandson and grandfather...
Zel: ::cries:: How could you do this to me! How could you...?
Rezo: I don't know, I haven't done it yet.
Zel: You...! ::cries:: I hate you...
Rezo: So how did I die?
Zel: I'm not falling for that! You're dead and you're staying that way!
Rezo: Awww... Look at lil' Zelly walk down the hallway annoying me with his lil' guitar... PLAY THAT IN YOUR ROOM!!!!
Zel: ZELGADIS!!!! LISTEN TO ME!!! Don't trust him!! He's...
Rezo: Lil' Zelly already left...
Zel: DAMN YOU, REZO!!!!!
MVG: Experience the magic of Slayer's Frequency.
Rezo: Who's that? Is that me?
Zel: No, that's Eris' copy of you.
Rezo: Oh, a copy of me, huh?
Kopii: Huh? Who...?
Rezo: Hello, it's the original speaking...
Kopii: ::growls:: I'll show you you were nothing but a mistake!
Rezo: May I have your attention please? May I have your attention please? Will the Real Red Priest please stand up? I repeat...
Kopii: GGRRRR... breaks machine DAMN YOU!!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~Rated: PG-13
Movie Voice Guy (MVG): Zangulus Emantsalon was a typical male bounty-hunting jerk with a huge ego.
Zangulus: I will be the best, dammit!
MVG: Until one day while training in a severe thunderstorm he was stuck by 10,000 volts of lightning...
Zangulus: AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
MVG: When he wakes up, strange things start to happen.
Zangulus: Fight me, Gourry!
Gourry: ::sighs:: Not now.
Lina: Go away, you jerk!
Zangulus: Not until I...
Linathinking: Man, this jerk is so %$#@ annoying. Doesn't he have a life? I thought that Jeffery kid was annoying. Geez... Why does he have to think with his dick so much?
Zangulus: ::growls:: What did you say?
Lina: What? I didn't say anything.
Zangulus: That's a lie!
Lina: Huh?
Zangulus: You just said I don't have a life!
Lina: No, I didn't.
Zangulus: But...
Gourry: Who? What? When? Where? Why? How?
MVG: He discovers he has a very special gift.
Zangulus: I think I can hear what woman think. It's driving me nuts.
Amelia: Ok, so what am I thinking now?
Zangulus: You think Zelgadis is being an asshole and should put the moves on you already.
Amelia: ::blush:: Uh... let's say that you do have this talent. Why are you treating it like a curse. Men would kill to do what you can.
Zangulus: Really?
Amelia: Yeah, I mean you'll know exactly what your girlfriend wants for X-mas. Uh... when a girl has PMS so you will stay the hell away... Uh...
Zangulus: You're right! This is a blessing!
MVG: And so...
Gourry: Owww...
Lina: ::growls:: Gourry!
WHACK
Linathinking: I'm sorry, Gourry. I love you but I don't want people to think I'm easy. I want to look all bad and tough. Say it when we're alone. I want to get in your pants so bad.
Zangulus: I thought so. ::snicker::
MVG: And so on...
Xellosthinking: What a bunch of morons I must follow around. So unstable.
Zangulus: What the...? I thought I could...
Xellosthinking: Won't they be surprised when they find out I'm using them for Master's plans to destroy the world. ::snicker:: I can't believe someone as scrawny as Lina could be so powerful. Strange things happen sometimes.
Zangulus: Xellos is a girl? ::sweatdrop:: walks towards Lina
Zangulus: Hey, Lina... Guess what I heard?
2 seconds later...
WHACK
Xellos: Owww!!! ::cries:: What did I do?!?!?
MVG: And see how he learns to become a true ladies'man.
Martina: Oh, Zangulus...
Zangulus: Oh, Martina...
Martinathinking: Zangulus has a great ass!
Zangulus: YES!
kiss
Martinathinking: Ohhhh... that guy over there is cute... him too... and that guy and...
Zangulus: ::sigh:: Maybe it isn't a 100% blessing after all.
MVG: Coming to a theater near you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~Rated R
ring
Gourry: Hello?
Scary Voice Guy (SVG): Are you alone?
Gourry: Who is this?
SVG: What are you doing? What's that noise in the background?
Gourry: Popcorn. Jumbo-sized.
SVG: Oh, you're watching a movie. What movie are you watching?
Gourry: Blazing Saddles.
SVG: That's odd for a late-night movie.
Gourry: Lina gets scared easily.
SVG: What's your favorite horror movie?
Gourry: Give me a minute. Freddy 6 was hilarious. Lina and I laughed and laughed...
SVG: No, no. I mean scary scary...
Gourry: Who is this?
SVG: Well, who is this? I want to know who I'm looking at.
Gourry: What?!?!
SVG: What?
Gourry: Where are you?
SVG: You look so cute in your pjs...
Gourry: It's you, isn't it? ::growls:: I got a restraining order on you! I'm calling the cops!
SVG: NO!!! Wait...
Gourry: Lina told you she was going to kick your ass next time! She'll be over any minute now. STOP CALLING ME!!!!
SVG: Oh come on, Miss LaLa. You don't need her. Give me another chance. I'll change, I swear!
By C.G.
I ^^;;;; know... I know,