Boom; the phone thudded to the floor and I could hear the sobs echoing in the receiver. Blood pounded in my ears and I felt my entire world caving in. I couldn't compute what I had just heard…I couldn't comprehend what she meant. Dead? He couldn't be dead. Just this morning I had talked with him, told him I loved him and to come home to me soon. He promised. He promised he'd be careful, for me and our baby, our unborn child who would no longer have a father.

An unexpected attack? I thought it was their job to prepare for this kind of thing. He promised he'd come home. I had finally found peace with his being gone in the war. I thought he wouldn't be in danger anymore. He was where there was peace; he was helping to rebuild the country; that damned country that killed him.

What was I supposed to do now? How could I go on with my life without him; this baby inside of me now a constant reminder of the life we were going to have together; the fairytale now a living nightmare. We were engaged to be married, ready to make so many memories together. How could I raise a child on my own? How could I support us and make a life for us without my rock, my partner, my life?

The despair closed in around me, wrapping me in a blanket of sorrow and hate. Hate at the world for taking him away from me, for ending his life when it was just starting. My breathing became labored, coming out in gasps, until I couldn't even function. The world around me became fuzzy and I couldn't think straight. Then it went black. Black as night and all I could think was he's dead.

Seven years later

"Come on, baby, we're not going to be late your first day at your new school! Don't you want to meet your teacher and get settled in early?" I asked my six year old son as he came stomping down the stairs, dragging his backpack behind him that was nearly as big as he was. He slumped into the kitchen chair dejectedly and turned his bright blue eyes toward me.

"Mommy, I don't want to go. I don't know anyone there and I don't think they're gonna like me much. Can't I just stay with you?" he asked quietly as his eyes filled with tears. I quickly knelt beside him and took his face in both my hands and kissed his forehead.

"Zachy, you listen to me. Those kids are going to love you just as much as I do. You're going to make so many new friends that you can play with and you're gonna learn so much. I promise, baby," I said as I pulled him close.

He sniffed hard and pulled away. "So what's for breakfast?" he asked brightly as he looked around the kitchen, trying to see what I had made for him.

I laughed loudly at his typical six year old attitude of moving on so quickly. I knew he was still worried, but at the moment, his stomach was his main priority.

"Well," I said theatrically as I swept my arm across the counter with grace that would put Vauna White to shame and showed my baby boy the treats that I had prepared for him. "I've got cinnamon rolls, pancakes, chorizo eggs, milk, and bacon all ready for my sweet boy, and do you know why I went all out today?"

"Because it's my day!" he said as he pumped his little fists in the air excitedly.

"That's right, baby. Today is all about you." I scooped some of everything onto a plate and watched him shovel it down his throat as fast as he could. It wasn't very fast, of course, because he was using a Simba fork and a Spiderman sippy cup. I smiled to myself as I reveled in how much I loved him.

As soon as he finished his breakfast and brushed his teeth, we hopped in the car and made his way to the school. Of course, there was some tears before we got there, but all in all, he was a good boy and I was able to leave without a problem. As I was driving away, I could see him on the playground playing ball with another little girl. My Zachy, the charmer, how young they start.

A whole flood of memories assailed me at that moment as I recalled how his dad had charmed me so many years ago. Since his death, I had never dated again or even thought of other men. Somehow, it always seemed like I was cheating, on both him and Zachary. As far as I was concerned, Zach was the only man in my life and that's how it was going to stay.