What was she thinking? They were two of her closest friends. They'd come to save her once upon a time. She owed them everything. And he…was a demon.
His breath against her collarbone made her shudder. His cool hands roamed over her exposed skin. Hungry. Searching. Almost desperate.
He tried to cover it up by teasing her. She could see right through him. So why? Why was she still here?
He licked another salty tear off her cheek and she ground her teeth together in an odd mix of pain and anger at her own stupid self.
What, did she think she owed him too? She already knew her other debts were un-repayable, but this? She knew in her heart that it was, indeed, her fault but she thought she would've been better than this. Weren't her friends more important?
What was she thinking?
Questions. They tumbled through her mind like train that had careened off the tracks and was now rolling its way into its own little slice of oblivion down the side of tall mountain. Why? Why? Why?
They didn't stop. Why wouldn't they stop?
"Kuchiki-san?"
The violet-eyed shinigami looked up at her, surprised at the sudden sadness in her normally cheery tone. She reached out and weaved her hand with that of the shinigami. She did it with a softness that made the other ache. A shadow hid the girl's face.
"You said you'd love me no matter what right? Even if…the 'no matter what' wasn't something very nice?" She whispered just loud enough for her friend to hear. Rukia's eyes widened and she was speechless for a long moment.
"Of course. Always," she replied. Her heart thudded painfully against her ribcage. It was the answer she wanted hear, but not the answer she deserved. The questions continued to roar inside her head.
"Can you… can you promise me something?"
Don't leave me.
It had become a constant ringing in his ears, a playback of a broken record player stuck on a song he hated. Don't leave me.
She placed a soft kiss on his dry cracked lips and he pulled her in as close as she could possibly be to him. He broke the kiss himself, unable to follow through. He couldn't meet her eyes. He dropped his head into the nook between her neck and her shoulder and squeezed her gently in his arms. Her warm, gentle hands worked their way up his back and held him hesitantly.
He always ended up losing the ones who were most important to them. He always tried to do something about it and ended up screwing up even more. In the end it was all he could do. Don't leave me.
"I love you, Inoue."
She jerked in his arms. Why was she so surprised that he'd said he-? Oh. Her last name. They'd been trying to get onto a first name basis after getting together. He'd forgotten. Don't leave me.
"I…I love you too, Ichigo-kun…"
The "protector" wondered if he was listening to him right now.
King was breaking. As if the world around him wasn't fucking indicative enough. It was driving him mad.
He was still bleeding. The hollow could taste the blood in his other half's mouth- his human half. Stupid King. Stupid, stupid, King.
He was just giving up again. Just like he always did. He should be kicking his ass for it, but not now.
Couldn't he see? He was right in front of him. He was practically screaming it into his head. Couldn't he hear him? I adore you. I adore you. I adore you. Every wound, every taunt, every whispered threat, pushing him to stand back up again, to take the sword in his hand and fight, god dammit. I adore you. I adore you. I adore you. He ran his black nails down the tan chest, forcing out a strangled gasp.
"You're pathetic," he breathed.
If King was so concerned about losing those two then he would help. It only made sense; King liked those two-loved them-albeit differently- and they were his. Shouldn't that make them the hollow's too? He did like them, also... but that was another thing for later.
See me. I'm right here, dammit. See me.
He didn't open his eyes.
With a growl, the hollow bit deep into the Substitute Shinigami's shoulder. A cry of pain filled the air, cutting through the sound of falling rain. See me.
"You're such-"
"-An idiot."
"What the heck's that supposed to mean?" the orange haired teen sniffed angrily.
"Exactly what it sounds like, you fool," she snapped back, flicking his forehead. He winced uncharacteristically but his face relaxed again as her hand continued to work through his orange spikes. Lying down on the grass with her back against the tree and his head on her lap was far too nostalgic for her tastes. This horrid thickness in the air was tainting the memory, infecting it like an unstoppable disease.
Were things really going to end this way? After fighting together in the great spirit war they were going to let each other tear them apart?
She looked down at his face, solemnly. It was written all over him. In invisible scars only they could see. To everyone else, he was the hero, the one you were supposed to go to for help, who'd defeat the villain and save the damsel in distress-damsels she thought wryly. But to her, no matter what, he was always just a boy. Just a boy broken, one that needed to be reminded exactly how to walk on his own two feet and how to lift his head toward the sky and smile.
She only wished she could be the one to help him as she had before.
"Either way, there's no point in pretending you're okay," She huffed. "So wipe the damn look off your face already."
He opened his mouth to express the gratitude she didn't want, and that he didn't truly feel.
"Thank you, Kuchiki-san," Love says half-heartedly. Love and Death break their embrace.
Death leaves the coin of Fate again to Love. Love hesitantly takes it and tosses it.
It lands on a side.
A voice speaks to Love from inside…
What had she been thinking? Yet another question.
The tears rolled freely down her cheeks. They all knew. Somewhere inside them they all knew. Didn't they?
She bit her lip against the sobs that wracked through her as he explored her once again, her auburn hair strewn all around her. His cold lips pressed against her neck and the pressure in her head threatened to explode.
Kuchiki-san, Kurosaki-kun… him even… How did it get to this? What were they becoming? What had they already become? The questions, in the end, all boiled down to the same one. Like the raw leftovers from being dipped in an acid. Like the hollow- a melted down and twisted version of Kurosaki-kun. Everything was the same, all exactly the same. All of them. Now if only they could just answer the final question.
What had they all been thinking?
And now you peeps know what my pen name and FLOL username is all about. So how was that for angst? It was probably more confusing than angsty but you know what? You guys can figure it out yourselves. XD
This is for CKU, known on FF as StrawberryChann. The lovely CKU here made a little vidie for this foursome that, for me, was just too awesome to ignore. http : // www . youtube . com / watch?v = wk5kcimGR0c (Take out the spaces). I hope she likes this insanity. ^^
I'll likely be back to edit the shit out of this later.