Title: Who do I Belong to?
Author: Moody Writer.
Summary: Sequel to Conflicting Desires. Edward is torn inside. He can't seem to comprehend the possibility of loving two people at the same time. But, then, the heart always loves one person more than the other. Edward/Emmett slash. One-shot.
Warnings: Slash.
Disclaimer: I own nothing except for the plot. No profit is being made out of this story. I just wrote it for fun and that's all.
A/N: I was hesitant about whether I should post this fic as a second chapter to the story Conflicting Desires or as a stand-alone sequel, but then settled down to the second option. The story takes place right after where the first story left off. Anyways, sorry if this fic turned out too long. It's just that I felt it needed to be more elaborated to give Edward's feelings enough amount of time to be transitioned, enough time for Edward to really understand his feelings and absorb his actions. Self-study kind of thing or whatever. I don't even know if I did a good job at that. It's up for u, guys, to decide. By the way, this story is not beta-ed so all the errors are mine. Feel free to point out any slightest mistake, whatever it was. Constructive criticism's always appreciated. Enjoy!
The weight felt heavy on Edward's chest after the conversation he had with Emmett earlier in Edward's bedroom. The scene replayed itself in Edward's mind over and over again like a trailer of some kind of a bad movie while he dragged his feet downstairs, torturing him and ripping his heart apart. He had never felt that guilty before in his life; never felt very disgust of himself for hurting Emmett to the deepest core of his heart. He said that Bella was the love of his life, then why was he feeling so distressed and heartbroken right now? Why was he suddenly feeling unsure of himself and his feelings? Why was part of his brain screaming at him to give the whole wedding thing second thoughts?
A long, deep sigh escaped Edward's lips as he stopped right at the top of the staircase that led to the living room where everybody was waiting. All the determination he had earlier was now gone. Hesitation and fear curled up into him, keeping him from taking another step forward, instead, forcing him to take a step backward.
Was he truly lying to himself all this time? Imagining that he loved Bella more than Emmett and that she was the core of his existence? Was his head clouded so thickly that he couldn't see who he really wanted and needed?
It took Edward two minutes to compose himself and his thoughts before he was finally able to force his rigid legs to move down the stairs.
Putting on a happy mask was what Edward had planned, hoping his act would fool everybody like it always had. He was quite good at it actually, but, tonight, he was doubtful about his capability of keeping up the act long enough for everybody to be completely convinced. He doubted his ability to suppress his sadness and pain while Emmett was going to be standing in the same room as he would. It was going to be too much for him to handle.
The moment his right feet touched the floor, he winced. An involuntarily reaction to Emmett's silent voice that tuned out everybody else's thoughts. So beautiful, was Emmett's thought. Edward flickered up his golden eyes to catch a glance of Emmett standing far away from the rest of his family, holding a glass of wine in his hand, celebrating already before everyone. Edward made his way to the middle of the room and Esme wrapped her arms around him immediately, whispering good wishes to him. Edward kissed her cheek softly in return.
"Oh, honey. Look at you. You are getting married." Esme tried holding back her tears uselessly.
"I told you I don't want to see tears today," Edward said gently, wiping away the tears that slipped down his mother's cheeks.
You won't be there to wipe away my tears when I cry for losing you forever.
Edward winced in pain again at Emmett's thought. He fought the urge to look up to his direction and went to hug Carlisle.
"I wish you all the happiness in the world, Edward. You deserve this. You and Bella are a beautiful couple," Carlisle said proudly, patting Edward's back.
"Thank you, Carlisle."
I bet you would try to forget me so that you could live happily with Bella.
Edward took a shaky breath and studied the floor for a second; trying to hide the pain that he was certain his face gave away. After gaining enough composure, he inhaled deeply and turned to hug Jasper tightly.
"Edward, are you alright?" Jasper said in a steady, low voice. He could feel the contradiction in Edward's calm, smooth face and his feelings. He could sense the pain radiating off of Edward in waves.
At least, don't wipe me out of your memory, Edward. Please, don't make it seem like I never existed in your life.
Edward squeezed Jasper tighter, cringing away from the painful thought that echoed in his head.
"Edward?" Jasper whispered, concerned.
"I'm fine," Edward whispered back and then pulled away. "I'm fine." He faked a smile, but it didn't erase the worry planted in Japer's eyes.
Alice danced toward Edward and threw her arms around him, then pulled away to kiss him on both cheeks.
"Congratulations, Edward! Bella should be down soon." Alice let out a small laugh and turned her gaze to Jasper. "He's just getting emotional, Jasper. He's finally going to marry Bella." She then threw a knowing look at Edward who looked at her with eyes barely able to contain the overflowing distress.
It's going to be over soon. Be patient, Edward.
Edward nodded his head slightly in response to Alice's thought.
Jasper's eyes were growing suspicious. He didn't respond, but he obviously didn't look convinced. Working in military had given him more than enough experience to know better than to buy a fib. He knew something was going on that needed not to be revealed, so he decided not to push.
Rosalie walked gracefully to join Alice and Edward. Once she had narrowed the distance between them she stretched her hand out and held Edward's right hand in her, shaking it lightly. She was wearing a soft smile on her lips.
"I'm happy for you, Edward. Here is the moment you have waited for so long. You are going to marry the one you love. My best wishes to you."
No, Edward. I'm the only one you love more than anything else and you know it. Why is it so hard for you to admit that?
Edward swallowed hard at hearing the profound pain in Emmett's silence voice. He knew he wasn't the only one suffering here. It was twice as hard for Emmett to stand there and watch helplessly his one and only love slip away between his fingers. It was twice as hard for him to have to bear watching Edward accept Bella as his wife and not him as his husband. It was hard for him to see his dreams and expectations that he had built for both of them crash down brutally.
Edward knew that Emmett had suffered a lot because of him, had endured the pain of him choosing Bella over Emmett for more than a year, had watched in silent agony the kisses and hugs he shared with Bella, had to keep up hoping that one day Edward would rush back to his secure arms. Edward felt sick to his stomach thinking of how selfish he was, how bad of a person he was for hurting Emmett that deeply.
Edward held still in his place, not wanting to go near Emmett because he knew that if he did, he would no longer have the strength to hold back the tears that stung the back of his eyes. He knew he would cry and wouldn't be able to stop.
I love you, Edward.
Edward felt a huge lump form in his throat. He swallowed hard while closing his eyes shut tightly. This was too much for him. Way too much.
"Edward." The urgency and worry in Alice's voice snapped his head around to her. They both locked eyes for seconds, sharing information silently. Edward's eyes went wide with surprise.
Not given enough time to Edward to comprehend what Alice had just told him, Bella came to the picture as she stood at the top of the staircase.
Every pair of eyes drifted up to look at her in shock and wonder. Bella wasn't wearing the big, white wedding dress like she was supposed to. She was still on her old pair of jeans and faint blue sweater.
"Bella, honey, what's wrong?" Esme's voice was full of confusion and concern.
Edward flew up to her and in one, blur second he was standing near her.
"What's wrong, Bella?" he said softly, cupping her face in his hands.
"Can I talk to you for a moment?"
It was hard for Edward to miss the edge in Bella's voice. Something was not right. Many emotions were coloring her face; blended together in a way that it was kind of difficult to decide which emotion was strong. However, with Edward's sharp, scrutinizing eyes he was able to tell that anger and hurt dominated the others.
Looking deep in his eyes, Bella held his cool hand and pulled him slowly to the hallway. She kept leading him until they reached Alice's bedroom, went inside and closed the door behind her.
Silence stretched longer than it should. Neither Bella nor Edward were taking the initiative to speak either too afraid to do so or just waiting for the other to begin explaining something.
"When were you going to tell me?" Bella's voice was calm, yet husky.
Edward turned his face away, ashamed. Heat already building up in his face. "Tell you what?"
"Don't. Don't keep this up any longer, Edward. You know what I'm talking about."
Still facing away from her, he asked, "How did you... find out?"
Bella huffed, "Does it really matter?" She shook her head slightly and continued in a tired, sad voice, "Why are you making this sacrifice, Edward?"
Edward spun around, his eyebrows creased up in a frown. "What? I'm not making any sacrifice here, Bella."
"Yes you are. You are going to give up the love you have for Emmett and marry me! How could you do this?" Tears welled up in Bella's eyes.
Edward stared at her, confused. He approached her and held her face between his palms. "What are you talking about?"
Bella took a deep, steady breath and forced the tears back. She looked at Edward in the eye, anguish written in her face. "You are still in love with Emmett. Why haven't you told me that? Why-"
"I love you," he cut her off stiffly.
"You love him more than you love me," she corrected. "You always have until I came in the way and messed things up between you two."
A finger was pushed against Bella's lips to hush her. "Don't say that," Edward pleaded.
Bella pulled his finger away. "It's true. You two are meant to be together, Edward. And I'm alright with that. I'm just hurt because you hid this from me all this time and yet have decided to marry me and give up your true love. You could have told me from the beginning and I would have accepted it." The last words came out unsteady and teary. "I love you, Edward, and all I want is for you to be happy."
Tears were streaming down Edward's flushed cheeks by now. He could no longer restrain his strangled agony. Bella wasn't angry with him because she found out about his secret, past affair with Emmett, but because he made the wrong decision. She truly wanted him to be with Emmett.
"I'm sorry, Bella." Edward voice was hoarse. He held Bella close to his chest and she broke into sobs herself.
"Don't be. I love you and always will, but you belong to Emmett." She buried her face deeper into his chest.
They remained hugging tightly for what seemed like an eternity. Small sense of quietness and serenity washed over the two as if the heavy weight they felt in their chests was removed a little. This time, silence was more comfortable and bearable than earlier.
After a few more minutes of quietness, Edward spoke again, "I still want to know how you found out and when."
Bella pulled away to look at him. She sniffled and wiped her tears away with the back of her hand. "You don't need to."
"Please?"
After a moment of consideration she sighed. "Alice told me last week."
Edward's eyes flared furiously.
"Hey, calm down. I'm glad she told me. At least, she cares about Emmett's feelings," Bella accused.
"What?"
"Alice couldn't stand watching her brother suffer for a whole year, but you could. You were heartless enough to accept the fact that your decision to marry me was going to destroy more than one life." Bella knew her words were harsh and she didn't miss the wince in Edward's face, but she also knew that Edward needed to hear what the consequence of his foolish act was going to be.
Edward remained silent for a second, his face crunching up in pain. "I couldn't either."
Bella waited for him to explain more.
"I couldn't bear... watching him suffer either, at least in the beginning, but then...," he trailed off and took a shaky breath, "I think you are right. I am heartless," he muttered the words brokenly, casting his eyes down.
Bella held his chin up with one finger. "No. You were, not anymore." She smiled softly. "I think you need to talk to Emmett now. Alice and I will explain everything to your family. Don't worry; your family is very understanding. You know them better than I do."
She kissed him on his cheek and went to the door. When she held the door open, she was surprised by the person standing outside.
"Were you eavesdropping, Alice?" Bella demanded.
"No. But I knew the conversation between you two was over so I came up to fulfil the other half of my vision," Alice smiled and pulled Emmett into view, holding his hand in hers.
Bella turned to Edward. "You knew they were standing outside, didn't you?"
Edward nodded once. Both Edward and Emmett shared awkward glances at each other. They looked away at the same time.
Alice shoved Emmett lightly further inside the room until he was standing a few feet away from Edward.
Bella approached Emmett slowly and wrapped her arms around him. Emmett was caught back by the sudden gesture, but circled his arms around her tightly in return.
"I'm so sorry, Emmett. I hope this doesn't change anything about the way you feel toward me. We are still family, right?"
"You bet we are." Emmett's tone was joyful.
Bella chucked once and pulled away. She and Alice left the room and closed the door behind them.
Here it was silence again. Emmett hid his nervous hands in his pants' pockets and resumed staring at the ground, not knowing what to feel: happy, mad or sad.
Hearing soft sniffles coming from the one he loved made him snap his head up. In one, long stride, Emmett was standing in front of Edward.
"Hey," he soothed, gently holding Edward's tear-stained face in his cold hands.
Edward pulled away easily. "Don't. I don't deserve this from you. I hurt you so badly. I'm a terrible vampire." He choked a strangled sob.
Emmett's eyes had gone softer and he held Edward's face in his hands again, firmly this time. "Hey, don't say that. You are an extremely wonderful vampire. I don't even have enough words in my dictionary to describe you."
"Stop making me feel better. I was so close to losing you and I didn't even do anything about it. I hurt your feelings for more than a year and you still love me as much? Why?"
Emmett smiled, but uttered no words. He used his mind this time.
Because the moment I fell in love with you I knew that you are the one, Edward. I knew that I couldn't live without you so I had to keep holding on you. I had to keep on hoping that we would be together in the end no matter what thunders life would bring to us. I believed from that moment that you and I were meant to be together for eternity. I was hurt, yes, I admit that, but that did not flutter, not one bit, the intensity of love I held and still am holding for you.
Edward let this sink in his mind. Every word whispered silently felt strong and profound. He closed his eyes and reopened them, "But you decided to leave forever," he whispered.
Emmett chuckled, "I don't think I could stay away from you my whole life. I would have certainly come back. This decision was made out of anger and hurt. I said it only because it felt fair."
More tears sprung from Edward's golden eyes. He raised his hands and grabbed at Emmett's black suit, twisting it in his hands. "I'm so sorry, Emmett. I'm so sorry I hurt you. I love you very much. Will you forgive me, please?" He said hoarsely.
Emmett leaned forward and pressed his cool lips to Edward's, kissing gently and sweetly and then pulled away to rest his forehead against Edward's. "I love you too, and I forgive you." His smile went wide.
Edward let his eyelids slide shut and scooted closer to Emmett, brushing the tip of his nose against his lover. Hot breaths escaped both lips. They held still like that for a moment before Edward embraced Emmett with full force, burrowing his face in the crook of Emmett's neck. Emmett pulled him tighter against his chest and kissed Edward's temple tenderly. He was about to whisper something, but Edward beat him to it.
"I love you more," Edward said.
Emmett smirked. "Your room or mine tonight?"
"Yours. I missed your bedroom."
Emmett pulled only enough to kiss Edward again, deeply and passionately this time. There was a new, beautiful taste to the kiss for they were letting all their stress and problems dissolve into it and allowing brighter plans and hopes to shine and dance around them.
The End
A/N: So, what do you think?
