The Little Nermaid

By: Bobby, 1000th Ghost, and Trisha

*This story was written on Bobby's 14th birthday!*

Bolded: Bobby

Italicized: 1000th Ghost

Not bolded or italicized: Trisha

Once upon a time, there was a ner.

She spent her time talking to herself and her cat.

She had the most dreamlike, mansion, princess bedroom you could imagine, with a little spot with a bed for her cat.

Her cat's name was Mitzi, and it was the plushest cat in the sea.

One day, as the ner was swimming along, she bumped into her friend, King Triton.

So then she was like, "Hey, oh, my goodness, please, don't hurt me!" and she swam away to Europe and found a cave.

Then, in the corner of her eye, she saw the legendary Mazoo.

"Mazoo! Mitzi's arch nemesis!" the ner cried.

She talks on and on about how she hates you! I'm going to torture you!"

Then Mitzi activated her laser vision and aimed it at Cali.

Cali said, "Mrrrrrooow," and Mitzi exploded.

Then, all of a sudden, the ner realized that she was a mermaid, not a princess, a mermaid princess, and she nursed Mitzi back to health.

The mermaid princess went over and picked up Cali; Cali went, "Mazoo," and Mitzi exploded again.

The mermaid princess realized that the only way to save Mitzi was to seek the help of the mystical Ursula.

And her powerful sister, Widdy.

The problem was, they had no clue where Ursula or Widdy were.

But then a blue pig appeared and said, "I will take you to Ursula and Widdy for a price."

The mermaid said, "What's the price? I want my cat to get well soon!"

The blue pig used to be green, but Ursula put an evil spell on him to make him blue.

"I'm blue, if I was green, I would die!" sang the blue pig.

"But what do you want me to do about it?"

"Go to Ursula, and tell her to undo the evil spell."

"But I don't know where Ursula is! You're no help at all!

And also, didn't you say if you were green you would die? Why do you want to be green?!"

The blue pig said, "Now even I'm confused," and then he exploded.

"We will feast on ham, bacon, and ribs for a month!"

So then the ner mermaid princess said, "That helps my starving problem but not my problem of getting my cat well."

Cali was so excited, she swam up to eat the bacon; sadly, the pig had blue mold, so now Cali was sick too.

Then Trisha, the jiggly baby, came crashing into the water.

So then the jiggly baby said, "I'll help you, but you have to buy me a mercat."

Then she realized that she couldn't breathe, so she swam to the surface.

They were still hungry, so they ate the jiggly baby.

All of a sudden, the jiggly baby got magical powers and came back to life and said, "Get me a blue mercat!"

They said, "Okay, let's head down to PetSmart."

But in order to go to PetSmart, she had to have legs since PetSmart was on the surface.

All of a sudden, she saw a PetSmart in the water and went and got the jiggly baby a blue cat, and the jiggly baby showed them the magical Widdy and her sister.

The mermaid princess said, "Please, Ursula, help my cats."

Ursula said, "Okay, but if you don't kiss the prince in three days, you belong to me."

The mermaid princess said, "No! I'm going to your sister, Widdy, she's much more understanding! I'm going to tell her to kill you!"

Then Ursula grabbed everyone and locked them into a cage so they couldn't get Widdy.

Then the prince, who was Eric's baby brother, appeared and proclaimed, "I have come to save the day!"

The ner said, "Please, get Widdy, I need her! And tell her to kill her sister!"

The prince said, "But Ursula's my mom! You can't kill her!"

The ner said, "No, I am your mom!"

So then Eric's baby brother came to Widdy and said, "Kill your sister, and help my friend."

Then, a buried memory came forth, and he realized that he had two moms.

"I'm a freak of nature!" Eric's baby brother wept in dismay, but the ner said, "Mermaids can't even give birth. You were hatched from an egg. You have no mom or dad. Fatty Fatty No Parents.

Anyway, so, will you help me or not? I'll get you a mom if you help me. And a dad."

So, the prince said, "I don't want stepparents, I want real, biological parents."

"You could just do what your older brother did and marry a mermaid," the ner said hopefully.

The prince said, "But I don't want love, I want a love that comes from my actual parents!"

Then the prince got so sad that he exploded.

The exploded pieces of prince fused with the exploded pieces of Mitzi, and with the power of the exploded pieces of blue pig, Mitzi was alive and well again.

The nermaid fell into tears as her prince was gone; her tears fell on the pieces of prince and brought him back to life, and the prince said, "Will you marry me?" the nermaid said, "Yes."

Then, since they were married, the prince let them out of the cage, but since he had expended his use, the nermaid slapped him across his face and divorced him.

Mitzi had an affair with Prince Eric and gave birth to forty-seven t-shirts.

And then the nermaid said, "Oh, I really did love you, let's get married and have three kids!" and they did, and Eric's baby brother said, "I love you too!" the end, except it isn't because what happened to Calimazoo?

Then they put one of the t-shirts on Cali, and it turned out that it had magical powers, and she was cured.

Ariel suddenly showed up on a bus and said, "That was a lovely trip to Wisconsin. What did I miss?"

Everyone in the story said, "Well..."

Then, out of nowhere, Bob the Builder appeared with a giant hammer and smushed them all.

The End