A/N: I got hit in the head by this muse. Seriously, it nearly knocked me out. Anyway, the fic is one based on Juliet finding out about Shawn and the emotional turmoil it brings. I know it's a bit impractical (there's still no proof), but I felt it had merit. That and enough Shules to satisfy those shippers. Hope you enjoy!
His Lies, Her Love
Juliet is many things. An idiot or a bad detective are not among those things. It takes her a while, but she sees it. He's good, she'll give him that. He's probably the best liar she's ever seen. In fact, (and she's pretty reluctant to admit this to anyone, even herself) she was fooled. His act was flawless for so long, she knew that everyone else had stopped looking for holes, for faking. But she's watched him for so long, for reasons she'll never have the guts to admit, that she sees it. The slight flicking of the eyes, the tightening of his mouth when he looks around. He's not psychic. He's looking. He's doing her job, Lassiter's job, and he's so damn good at it that they seriously believed he was something special, something extraordinary. But he's not.
She's so angry with him when she figures it out that she can barely see straight. She's all set to march into the chief's office and out him as the fraud he was. That night she cries herself to sleep.
He doesn't realize how close she comes to telling on him. By some random chance or stroke of luck, he's there in the morning, joking around, laughing with Gus and Buzz and everyone. She's pissed at him first, for lying to everyone, to them, to her that she walks slowly towards Vick's office, ready to slam her discovery into Vick's hands so she won't have to deal with it anymore. He notices her though, and comes running, like the puppy he so closely resembles. He stands there, grinning broadly, and jokes about pineapple and 80's movie quotes and some other random crap that he somehow knows and all the time she's ready to end his career with three words. But then… she sees it. The slight hesitation in the grin, the flicker of concern that crosses his face as he takes in her slightly disheveled look. She hadn't slept well, still reeling from the betrayal, and she knows she looks like crap. He asks her if she's okay and for a few seconds, she sees it, she sees him.
Maybe he started doing this for all the wrong reasons, for the excitement, the rush of pulling one over on the cops and everyone else. Maybe he just needed the attention. But now… he cares. He's no longer doing it for the fun, for the ability to make Lassiter (Lassie, her mind instantly corrects in a true Shawn fashion) growl and her to gape in awe. If he had done this for those reasons, he'd have given up a long while ago. He'd be on his bike, riding off into the sunset and beyond. Yet he's still here. He no longer needs to prove himself to the Chief or her fellow officers; he's believed and trusted as the department's 'psychic' detective. He stills does his acts and charades of psychic junk, but he doesn't have to. It's not earning him any more unusual amounts of attention. He's become a normal fixture in SBPD headquarters, a permanent one. He no longer solves cases because he can, he does it because it's his way of helping people..
That thought alone makes her hesitate, makes her pause. She's known Shawn for years now (though it burns her to know that she missed the fact that he wasn't psychic at all) and she still feels that she knows him well enough to judge his character. Shawn is a good guy. He's sweet and funny and charming and… (she's forced to derail that train of thoughts before it becomes too detailed to be ignored, she happened to like that beautiful elephant sitting in the corner), so she knows that he's helping people. He's giving them closure or hope or whatever they need to be happy and put the bad guys in jail. She knows he's been accused of selfishness and immaturity and with his act she can see why. But no one, not one person, seems to have stepped back and really looked at Shawn Spencer. Perhaps (and here she relies solely on her instincts and insights into the curiosity that is Shawn) he wants to help people and this is the only way that he can. She remembers the inappropriate jokes and the utter disregard for protocol. They aren't him acting out, they're him finding his way, his method. Yes, she thinks back at the number of cases he's solved and grits her teeth, Shawn would have made an excellent cop. She's seen him see the tiniest clues and make the most intuitive leaps based on nearly invisible evidence. But he's not a cop. He's a free spirit, not one to be bound by rules or regulations or protocol. He can't be a cop. It's just not him. So he finds his way, his method to do what a cop does and still be himself. Because if he was a cop, an officer, a detective, he'd never be able to do what he does. So he does what he can the only way he knows how. He solves crime as a psychic.
She tells him that she's fine and then (slowly, reluctantly) turns to go back to her desk. He notes her quiet mood and instantly lets her be alone. She wonders just how much he sees when he looks out at the world. She has a pretty good idea that it's everything. She sits there, musing on the enigma, the strangeness that is Shawn Spencer. She comes to several well founded conclusions. It's his buffer. The ability to see, to hear, to know how someone was killed does nothing to disguise the fact that someone was killed. He needs the humor, the charade, the craziness to stay sane. He needs the distance to be able to breathe, to be able to dream without nightmares. He won't be the type to give up his soul to catch the bad guys.
She knows he's immature and irresponsible, that he lied to her. But maybe, just maybe, she's okay with it. He's a mystery, a puzzle and she lo- likes puzzles. She can stop him from his lies, his games, but the important question is if she even wants to. He's not hurting anyone (besides the fact he didn't tell them, tell her the truth) and he's helping. He's doing everything he can to stop the crime, stop the killing and the stealing and the unspeakable acts of horror that they see every day. He's doing it differently, strangely, in a way that makes everyone question his sanity. But it's the only way he can.
Her final conclusion is perhaps the most interesting of all. Not that she's completely shocked by the depth of emotion Spencer can invoke in her (she's lived far too long for that to happen), but the mere fact that it's still there. Even in the worst of her anger and tears and agony, it was still there. So she smiles a little smile and watches him play with Buzz and Gus and everyone and doesn't say a word. She won't be the one to ruin what he has. She can only hope that some day, in the future, he can work up the nerve to tell her his secret. Then… she'll tell him hers. 'Cause it's never been about the lies. It's about her love.
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A/N: A bit mushy and hard to follow, but it hopefully got my point across. Now all that's left is for you to review.