I Don't Sparkle

Summary: Damon reads Breaking Dawn and has a few choice words, some that a sulking Elena has doesn't want to hear.

A/N: HELLO! Welcome to my first TVD fan-fiction/drabble! :3 I had this idea brush threw my head and I just had to get it down on paper...er- word document? Anyways, enjoy! Takes place in between season two and three. Elena is being bitchy.

Damon just didn't get it. His constant jokes and stupid little remarks about nothing important were bothering me. He was as blind as a bat. I didn't want to talk. Quite frankly, I wanted to curl up in a ball and die on the floor of the Salvatore boarding house and cry for Stefan until my vocal chords snapped. Damon had other plans.

He snapped the book he was reading shut and sighed deeply. I looked at him, scared of what actually might come out of his mouth next. His fingers flew to his temples and I watched with a cocked eyebrow.

Damon's eyes fluttered towards me before he let out another heave of air. "This is ridiculous," He mumbled.

"What?" I half moaned as I set down my own book.

He motioned towards the back book in his lap. "Damn vampire book," For once, I was intrigued. I got off the couch and went over to the armchair that Damon was sighing over-dramatically in. I yanked the book out of his lap and turned it in my hands.

"Where's the cover?" I inquired. Damon smiled sadistically before doing his eye-thing.

"The real vampire ate it," He grinned. I scowled at him before walking back over to the couch and plopping down on the leather.

"What's so bad about these vampires?" I snapped. "Did the bit about garlic piss you off?"

"The sparkle," Damon gritted out through his teeth. "I don't sparkle."

I bit my lip to stop myself from laughing. My lips were curled up in a cheeky grin. Damon glared at me. I flipped open the first page of the book and started to read the print on the inside cover out loud.

" 'When you loved the one who was killing you, it left you no options. How could you run, how could you fight when-' Damon what the fuck is this?"

He "tsked" me before coming over and taking the book back out of my hands. "You shouldn't be using such language Elena," He scolded. "Its very out-of-character for Bella."

I glared at his back as he walked into the kitchen. My jaw fell slack as I stormed after him. "Who the hell is Bella?"

Damon smirked at me over his shoulder before reaching into the fridge. "The lovely, and oh so normal, damsel in distress," He replied as he grabbed a bottle of wine.

I gasped and crossed my arms over my chest. "I am not a damsel in distress!" I yelled. Damon gave me a grin.

"Whatever you say, bella," He drawled. I smacked his shoulder as he walked past me. Damon didn't even flinch.

"I am not this Bella!"

Damon turned around with an eyebrow raised. "Did you ever think that maybe I was complementing you? Bella is Italian for beautiful you know," He started as he took a swig out of his bottle of wine, that only meant bad things were on their way. It was only three in the afternoon for god's sake!

"The story plays out into your life perfectly," He slurred slightly. I reached for the bottle but he snatched it away for another swig. "Seemingly normal girl meets hot vampire stud and they fall in love. Other mythological creatures decide to hope in on the fun and hilarity ensues."

He plopped down in his seat and I successfully grabbed the bottle as he landed. "And where does that put you Damon? You said she falls in love with one vampire," He broke into yet another wide grin.

"Stefan would be the vampire because they're both goody-goody and I would take Lockwood's place as the other supposed-unreal creature who's trying to win your heart," He stated plainly. He stood and there was a flash. I stood still when I felt his cool breath on the back of my neck.

"But then I guess do to the recent change of events, I'm the goody vampire," He murmured huskily in my ear. "Now, guess who she chooses?" He smelled like whisky, wine and an outdoorsy smell that was only Damon. Another whoosh, and he was gone.

I shuddered. I needed to read this damn book.

A/N: Ah Damon! I love him SO much. R&R? Thanks! Check out my profile for my Harry Potter stories.