CHAPTER THREE
West Beverly would soon be opening their doors for the new school year. The very thought of that made Naomi's body feel more and more desecrated.
Naomi has been awoke for twenty-six hours. She paces in the guestroom as the sun rises in through the shuttered windows. Today was the first day of her senior year and that fact was no where on Naomi's mind. Just as every high school student, Naomi Clark had high hopes and expectations for her senior year. The senior prom, graduation parties, college acceptance or rejections, road trips, and being the one who passes the torch. Before the nightmare, Naomi planned to work extremely hard her senior year. She wanted to get into C.U no matter how much extra credit she needed to complete. Liam would be her prom date and the night would be perfect. She was even planning to share a dance with her three besties Ade, Silver, and Annie. In midde school, Silver and Naomi made a pact to take a road trip to destination anywhere after their high school graduation. I'm sure Silver's forgotten all about that. She has Teddy to distract her. And Liam hates me. All in all, Naomi could care less about anything and anyone at this point. Nothing mattered to her as they did before. The things she once cared about were vain and pointless.
The halls of West Beverly was not dark. The halls of West Beverly were not empty. The smell of the school sent Naomi back to the moment. That moment Naomi entered West Beverly on that dreadful night. As she looks around in a stand still, all the students appears to be happy, chatty, bummed to return, and anxious to tell their summer stories. Naomi is wearing a plaid torquoise cardinal with red, khaki and grey to colorize the sweater. Under the sweater, Naomi wears a white blouse to secure any body exposure. She wears white skinnies to throw her overclothed wardrobe off, in case her friends begin to make any assumptions. The diamond studs that Ethan brought her for their first Christmas together is the only jewerly she wears but we can hardly see them because of her hair. Naomi's hair is longer and curly. This was the first time she comb her hair out in months so its length came as a surprise to her as well.
Naomi walks slowly through the crowded halls of West Beverly with a look of curiousity on her beautiful and light made up face. The thought of running into the several people she would rather not run into made her nervous stomach worst. "Oh sorry dude." A random student accidentally bumps into her and it sends her at a panic. She begins to breathe rapidly trying not to be obvious but at the same time, she needs to catch her breath. Being touched accidentally by that random guy is sending Naomi into an anxiety attack. Her heart beats fast and loud. She grabs onto a locker to balance herself and not fall. She's visibly sweating and her breathing is getting shallow. As the students begin to scatter into their classes, Naomi looks at the lady's restroom and notices an opening.
Your face saving promises. Whispered like prayers. I don't need them. I don't need them
As Naomi enters the restroom, thinking she's alone, her breathing begins to get back into control. The restroom was indeed vacant and Naomi was relieved to finally be alone. She only needs a few minutes of privacy then she can return to the chaos. "It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter." She's leaning foward, facing the mirror and trying very hard to avoid the mirror. She squeezes her eyes shut and softly whispers, "It doesn't matter." She's trying to convince herself that what happened was nothing. If she tells herself that nothing happened then there's a chance she will start to believe that lie. There's a chance she can forget everything or at least move on with her life.
Naomi glances at her pale fingers and notices that they are shaking. I should be over this. Why does it matter so freaking much. Oh my God I am Naomi Cla-. Before she could finish her words, her face suddenly loses the little color that was barely there. Naomi realizes the seriousness of what she actually went through. Rape is no short of murder. It's a violation of your body and of your soul. It flips your reality upside down. Rape was a word she dare not say out loud. She was is a victim and that isn't too easy to ignore. Naomi isn't naive. She knows that she asked Cannon to stop and he refused. That is considered rape but she still questions her actions of that night. She didn't fight him with everything she had, in fact, Naomi gave up after believing Cannon had the most power. The flush of that reality made Naomi nauseous as she splashes water on her face. "Naomi?" Annie comes out the stall as quiet as anyone can but it still alarms Naomi.
Annie looks almost as disasterous as Naomi. She's dyed her hair completely black and is wearing something straight from Jenny Humphrey's closet. Annie's raccon eyes are deeply exaggerated as well as her busted fish net stokings. Then there's those witch boots that goes perfectly with her 'I Love Bitches' t-shirt. Annie hops on the restroom's counter and immediately begins to pour out hard tears. Naomi, for the first time in three months, touches another person. "Annie?" Naomi grabs Annie's hand as a gesture of concern. Annie's cries are becoming incontrollable as she tries to speak. What the hell is going on with her.
Naomi realizes that by being held up in her own pain, she negleted to worry about her any of her friends. Although, the last time she saw any of her friends, they were all happy. However, the world didn't stop just because Naomi's world stop. "Naomi. I screwed up, super, super big this time and I." Annie cries and is unabe to continue her confession. Naomi wants to cry so badly with Annie, but of course, for different reasons. She was obivious to why Annie was in so much pain but the only thing that mattered was being supportive. "How did you screw up, what are you talking about?" Annie calms down after hearing that soothing and concerning question from Naomi. "You didn't hear?" Naomi looks at Annie in pure confusion.
Annie spends the next three hours in the locked restroom confiding in Naomi about her terrible summer. Apparently, Annie confessed to her parents that she killed Jasper's uncle accidentally. This came as a surprise to Naomi but all she did was listen as Annie relived everything. Naomi never judged or past any opinions regarding Annie's nightmare. Apparently, Debbie and Harry reacted differently to Annie's shocking secret. Annie goes on about the many fights her parents were already having before they knew what she was hiding. All in all, Debbie wanted Annie to keep quiet about the accident while Harry wanted her to go to the police. Annie tells Naomi that whatever her parents agreed on, she had no say to anything. Debbie ended up winning the argument but shortly after, Harry announced that he needed time away from this life. The next morning, Debbie and Annie found a goodbye note on the fridge.
"We haven't even heard from him since, Nae." Naomi hops on the counter next to her heartbroken friend and holds her as she cries. Annie doesn't see it but, Naomi is also crying.
Always, please be not always. And if always, bow our heads in blame. 'Cause time has made promises, just promises.
Naomi has survived the first day at West Beverly without seeing anyone she knows except Annie. She comes out of her last class with Annie on her mind. Poor Annie. I cannot believe Principle Wilson's gone. Naomi walks through the halls wishing to remain invincible until she gets to her shitty car. Unfortunately, a familiar face finally meets up with Naomi.
"Naomi. Hi." It wasn't as if Naomi encourage Jen to tell Ryan about the baby. Jen had no idea that Naomi ended up learning of her baby's paternity and spilling all to Ryan. So why was Ryan staring at Naomi with contempt? "Listen, there's something we need to discuss." Naomi manages to put on a smile as Ryan tells her she is nothing like Jen. Naomi has no idea where he is going, point wise, on comparing her to Jen but she listens. "But Liam", Ryan pauses as he shows sympathy while saying Liam's name. When Naomi hears Liam's name, she hesitates to keep her mask of happiness on her face. Her face drops.
"Have you heard from him since Jasper fell into the coma", Naomi is puzzled.
"Jasper's in a coma?", she's never felt more out of the loop.
realizes the Naomi has no clue. "Oh, that's right, you were in Italy this summer?"
"Yea", Naomi takes a breath. "Wait. What's Liam got to do with Jasper?" Naomi and Ryan discuss Liam's latest disaster. Liam nearly killed Jasper after Jasper set an explosion to his boat. Thanks to the cops, Jasper was found alive but barely. Liam was arrested and has been spending the entire summer on the run. No one knows where Liam went after someone anonymously paid for his bail. All these unknown summer events are getting a little too much for Naomi.
Ryan repeatedly questions Naomi about she and Liam's current status. His indulgence in Liam and Naomi's love life becomes more and more of his real focus. Naomi is only concern with Liam and his situation. Before they know it, the halls are all cleared. Ryan wanted to know something about Naomi. The expression was on his face. Suddenly, and out of the blue, Naomi is greeted by another familiar but warm face. "Nae, Oh my God". There was Silver, smothering Naomi with a big hug. Silver's touch made Naomi flinch but she doesn't resist Silver's embrace.
Silver observes Naomi's physical changes. Naomi notices that Silver looks the same with the exception of her very new short hair cut. "Silver, what happened to your hair?" Naomi is pleased that she sounds like her old self. "Why whatever do you mean?" Silver is very sarcastic with Naomi, as she is usually. Ryan decides to catch up with the girls later as they catch up on their crazy summers. Silver and Naomi escape to an empty classroom to chat.
As the two besties sit on top of the classroom's desk, Silver begins to tell Naomi about she and Teddy's troubles. Naomi can't help but to feel a little envious of Silver. Silver is beautiful. Her haircut brings out the radiance in her face. Her blue eyes matches her blue silk jumper that Naomi brought her exactly four months ago. Silver had such a glow that you could not see pass the confusion in her eyes. Naomi could see right through her bestie and knew that something was wrong. "So, Teddy and I are pretty much over."
Naomi listens as Silver makes assumptions on rather Teddy will have time for her once he becomes a professional tennis player. "Maybe his dad has a point." Silver seems to be unsure about everything. "Silver. That's not how Teddy feels. Just. Just talk with him. Communication is a huge factor in any relationship. Trust me, without it..."Silver realizes that Naomi is referring to Liam. The subject is changing as Silver and Naomi discuss Liam's ordeal. Naomi tells Silver that she wants to Liam will be okay and Silver agrees. When Silver asks Naomi about a Liam/Naomi reconcilation, Naomi firmly doubts that will happen.
Silver gets a text from Kelly about being responsible until she returned home. She informs Naomi that Kelly and Sammy are spending time in Japan with Donna, the baby, and David. "Did you hear about Principle Wil-." Naomi couldn't get another word out as the door whined opened gently. The smell was all to familiar and suffocating to Naomi. Naomi slowly turns her head to the door, hoping it's not who she believes it is. And with luck, it isn't. It's only Navid!
"Hey guys." Navid also seems depressed. The fact that everyone isn't all happy go lucky soothes Naomi in some way. She has time to place herself in her friends drama while ignoring and passing over her own trauma. "You guys heard from Ade anytime this summer. Cause, I mean, I haven't. So I just thought." Silver and Naomi gazes at one another then looks at Navid with sympathy. Everyone there, at West Bev, are already talking about the hot summer tour romance between Adrianna and Javier. "No. Navid, you know, she's just probably very busy." Navid tries hard to believe the pity excuse from Silver.
Navid's colonge was making Naomi so nauseous that she could feel the vomit coming. "I'll be right back." Naomi leaves in a rush while Navid and Silver continues to make excuses for Ade, not realizing that Naomi's face has turned blue.
In the restroom, Naomi heads to the stall and throws up for about four minutes. After she's able to stop puking, Naomi rolls over to catch her breath. She's sitting on the floor looking totally miserable. It was like she stayed by the toilet all night to recover from large consumptions of alcohol. She wishes she had alcohol on that note. Alcohol dims reality and makes whatever burden on your shoulder dissapear. Wait, why am i so sick? Naomi wonders if she has a bigger problem, as it dawns on her that she's missed two periods.
Naomi comes out of the restroom in a rush trying to avoid bumping into another familiar face. But as she swings open the door, Silver is waiting for her by the class where they were talking. "Do you think that Ade's really cheating on Navid?" Silver wanted everything to be the same way with Naomi. Hanging out together after school, sharing secrets, and making fun of one another. Naomi could not muster up any of those things without having deep thoughts on her mind that Silver would notice. "God I hope not." Naomi is tired and anxious to leave.
Navid opens the door of the classroom. The room where Naomi and Silver were just in and what Naomi notices clicks. She never noticed the door when she and Silver first entered the class but she notices it now. , English. The mere name made Naomi's heart beat faster than it usually beats. As Silver continues to talk with Navid who is coming all the way out of the room, Naomi focuses on the shadow trudding behind Navid. Her face becomes flush, more pale, and petrified. Her eyes are traumatized by the man who is coming out of the classroom.
Naomi's heart beat is thumping loudly in her eyes. It's the only sound she hears and he is the only person she can see. When his face is 100% visible and away from being Navid's shadow, their eyes lock.
A rush of panic. A sharp pain to the heart. A breakout of sweat. A nerve attack to the stomach. Naomi wanted so badly to take her eyes off of him but, at the same time, she could not look anywhere else. The fear forbid her to look away and the hurt wanted her to say something, anything, but she is frozen. Suddenly, memories of the night she was raped came rushing through Naomi's head. The flashbacks occured so fast that Naomi's leg's felt like jello. She knew it would come to this. She was dreading this moment all summer. She never imagine that seeing him again would make her react this way. But looking into Cannon's face, paralyzed Naomi.
"!" Silver smiled in awkardness (obviously because she knew how weird it was everytime Naomi ran into the man she lied about) trying to break the ice. "Naomi was incredible. Her help with my documentary was much needed. I was just telling Navid that I have high standards for you, ." Cannon gives Naomi a smile that may have seem innocent to Navid and Silver but to Naomi, the smile is disgusting.
Naomi wanted to scream, tell on him, and cry, but she knows that Cannon still has control. She will not smile with him, never. "Thank you." Naomi puts her head down as if she was a child who has done something wrong. Silver took notice in this gesture and is finally realizing that something is different about her bestie. "Would you like to see my film?" Cannon pratically pleads with Silver and Navid to view his stupid documentary. Cannon's face turns childlike and exciting when Navid and Silver agree to walk with him to the media room to watch his documentary.
Contempt loves the silence. It thrives in the dark. With fine winding tendrils. That strangle the heart
After showing Silver and Navid the documentary, Naomi waits in the halls pretending to be on the phone with Jen. The thought of being in that room stabbed into Naomi's stomach. She should have left but she promised Silver to give her a lift home. They all come out of the media room seemingly pleased with Cannon's documentary. Naomi notices the compliments from both Navid and Silver then remembers that she fed Cannon with the same compliments. Thinking of that made Naomi's skin crawl. "Let's go Silver." Naomi sounds almost protective as Silver smiles at Cannon in a flirtatious way.
"Actually, Naomi, I want you to stay after class. I need your sensational input on my documentary. Again." 's insistence frightens Naomi. "Sure", Naomi feels she has no other choice other than to give him what he wants. Silver and Navid are both puzzled by Naomi's reluctant attitude towards . Naomi eyes begins to water as she takes a deep breath before stepping into the room where she was raped and possibly impregnated.
"Oh, I have to bring Silver...Silver needs a ride home." Naomi tries to catch her breath. "Its okay I can bring her home, right Silver?" Navid is such a nice and considerate guy. "No!" The fear in Naomi's eyes are denoted by Navid and Silver. "Oh come on." looks at Naomi in a certain way that only he and Naomi can understand. The look makes her obligated to stay. Weirdly enough. "Fine." Naomi swallows the thought of what he wants to do with her.
Silver and Navid are gone. This was not what Naomi imagined her first day to be like. She was going to run into him but she was determined that she would find some way to avoid Cannon. The power and control that Cannon had over her was almost captivating. Captivity of her mind. Owner of her body. Destroyer of her soul. "Come in, Naomi." Naomi stood outside of the media room wanting to be anywhere else in the world. "Naomi, please." It was as if Cannon was blackmailing her but he wasn't. How about that?
Naomi slowly walks into the media room. It becomes overwhelming. Cannon secretly closes the door. Everywhere her head turned brought on memories of where Cannon single handingly ripped her in half. She feels Cannon's breath on her neck. He is standing very close behind her, "Oh I've missed you." Naomi's eyes are terrified with fear. Not again. This cannot happened to me, again. Naomi wants to turn around and run like she failed to do last time. She only stands there, frozen, knowing that she can't do anything. She could run out and tell someone but not only would they call her a liar, they would also have to hear Naomi Clark in total vunarbility. The realization of people thinking of her as a defenseless victim became more and more annoying to Naomi. Let him ra...rape me, again. It doesn't matter. Because, because I can get over this. She knew that was all lies. She would never be able to move pass this without some emotional breakdown. But she feels she has no where to turn. begins to stroke her arms, then moves his hands up to her breast. Naomi is shaking as tears fall from her face. As Cannon kisses her in her neck while still stroking her breaast, Naomi squeezes her hands tightly to make a fist. Her eyes are closed as well but Cannon turns her towards him and her eyes fly open.
"I don't want to do this." Naomi's tears flood her face as she shakes her head. Cannon smiles at Naomi. He doesn't care what she wants. "You're trying to provoke me again." Cannon begins to unbutton Naomi's pants as she tries hard not to put on a struggle. "Please, I don't want to this this." Naomi pulls away from Cannon which makes him more turned on. He grabs Naomi's waist and is about to kiss her but before he tries to pull her into a kiss, Navid interrupts them. "Hey, Um. I'll come back."
The way he entered and what he saw, Navid thinks that Cannon and Naomi are having an affair. Navid leaves in a hurry and Naomi buttons up her skinnies. Naomi looks at Cannon and slowly backs away before running away in tears. She runs fast through the halls. The faster she runs the harder she cries. For an instance, Naomi's running through the halls with her eyes close, imagining the scared girl in the red dress. Her mind goes back to that night. The girl in the red dress who was raped. Running. Running and detached. As the traumatized girl in the flashback runs, the even more traumatized girl in present day runs faster.
School was not a safe place for her anymore.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Spoiler-Naomi meets someone who will help her find her way to a darker world!