Discrimination and its Consequences
By Luis Carrillo
My eyes opened, and as soon as they did my vision was filled with twinkling stars. "Did I hit my head that badly?" I wondered to myself, while I started walking. Then, I saw the earth, which was not dry and arid as in my state, but green. I licked it and it tasted like Pop Rocks. Oh my Satan, I was on another planet! That realization made me extra hungry, so I walked over to a diner that was shaped like a lava lamp (because this was another planet and nothing could look ordinary like in Earth). I went over and walked into a neon-green and pink place it was pretty awesome, so of course I was going to eat here! "I want a mega alien burger and a scotch on the rocks!" I told a blue skinned waitress. "And add some sugar to it, sugar" I said, winking my beautiful brown eye laced with thick, long eyelashes at her.
"I'm sorry, but we don't let you sickeningly beautiful people eat here" she said, looking me over with disgust through her sixteen eyes. What was so wrong with having the face of a god, or thick black hair, or beautifully golden skin? "But that's not fair!" I said. "The 14th Amendment says that everybody is equal, so I could eat food here, even if I am gorgeous!" I shouted heroically.
"That may be— on Earth" she said in an amused tone. "Here on the planet Nebulaspherecelestiallis, what you've just done is a serious offense; humans may not enter alien establishments and may not voice their opinions." With an evil smile, she pressed a button and I was arrested by two squid-looking aliens who where dressed in silver cop uniforms. I tried to get away, but they hit my beautiful Latino head with a club and I lost consciousness.
I woke up chained and naked, where I was taken to a trial. The High Judge of the world came, and it was… Lady Gaga!
"I always knew you were an alien!" I exclaimed, receiving a blow by an alien light saber.
It opened my torso up and all of my guts poured out. A few ravenous vampires burst through the wall of the room and ate them, before leaving to sparkle in the sunlight.
Lady Gaga addressed me then. "Luis Carrillo," she said in a drunken sounding voice. "You are sentenced to be put to death!" Then she fished out a red hourglass from her glass shoulder pad. "When the time runs out," she said, "you will die." I pleaded, but the guards took me away to a tower. I cried bitterly, until Sookie and Bill came flying through the window!
"Oh my!" said Sookie, eyeing my beautiful naked figure. "They cut your torso open!"
"At least they didn't cut other stuff!" Bill said jokingly. I punched him in the face and made him apologize.
"When the hell do we leave?" I bellowed, turning into my tyrannical self. "You bastards better hurry!"
Sookie and Bill knew better than to test my wrath, so they went to get the car. Bill crashed through the roof of the tower.
"Come on Luis!" Sookie said, extending her hand to me. I was pulled onto the flying car, and handed a cup with red liquid by Bill.
"Drink it." He said to me calmly, "I've been thinking about it, and you should be on the show."
"Yes!" Sookie said cheerfully. "Then you can be a main character!"
I hated to disappoint, so I drank the blood and turned into a vampire. We all turned to bats and flew off towards the sun.
That's what happens when you discriminate against someone.