-This is just a bit of silliness really-
Basically a quick drabbled that came to me while thinking of the Luke/Reid/Noah triangle in the American soap "As the World Turns". How will Reid take things if Luke chooses Noah? This is my take on it...
(Just to let everyone know, I myself am a LuRe fan, so this is NOT how I would choose to end things in an ideal world).
It's the worse feeling in the world. Helping the man you so desperately want to move further and further away from you.
It tears you to pieces, but to see that god damn smile, it's worth it. That didn't mean it stops hurting though- it just numbs the pain for a while like the morphine you so regularly hand out to patients.
Especially as that smile is no longer directed at you.
You watch the pair of them for a while, hating the way he looks at the other man. It's the look that says 'You are what makes me worthwhile'. It's the look that you give to him now.
He later smiles at you, claps you on the back and whispers a quick 'thank you' in your ear as they stroll off together, hand in hand. You know what he's thanking you for, but somehow you can't bring yourself to say 'you're welcome' in response.
It wasn't the same smile. It didn't scream 'I want you', and his eyes didn't sparkle. It simply said 'You're my friend'. It seems to burn you inside and you feel sick. Physically sick.
You watch them through the window as they head out towards his truck. 'I hate you' you whisper fiercely. "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you".
You whisper it again and again until the tears are running down your cheeks- because you know this isn't true.
You want him. But you made your decision.
You know you did the right thing. You made him smile. That's all that really matters.
It's just, the right thing is letting him go.
And that hurts so bad...
Review? x