Ankh-Morpork's men-in-brown have been investigating last weekend's disturbance in Dough St, following public outcry.
As readers of the Times are already aware, there was a loud angry confrontation outside the bakery of a Mr Hrolf Halfteesponson (124), dwarf, early on Saturday morning.
Neighbours recall seeing five rotund men wearing tall white hats entering Mr Halfteesponson's business shortly before the disturbance. There was a loud sound of metal crashing, followed by shouts from the bakery.
Sources claim anything up to three separate screams were heard before the five men ran out of the bakery and up the street, bowling over many bystanders.
When questioned by the Times, a watchman on the scene said, 'Cor, you lot are them folk from the paper aren't you? I love those funny pictures you do in the back, you know, of the guild leaders and that. Are you going to take a picture?'
It appears that Mr Halfteesponson is a new member of the city's Bakers' Guild. He joined the guild when he arrived in the city from Genua six months ago.
A representative of the guild, Mr Arnold Happily (42), stated, 'That little kneebit… I mean to say, Mr Halfteesponson is to blame for the trouble. As a member of the Guild, he is required to uphold our standards and that means only using the best quality ingredients.'
'I resent that,' responded Mr Halfteesponson. 'I only use the finest flour, imported from Genua. No-one has complained about my bread, except for the dwarves.'
This comment caused some confusion until Mr Halfteesponson explained that he did not bake traditional dwarf bread and his produce was intended to be edible.
Mr Happily emphasised the guild's position to Mr Halfteesponson, taking care to mention the mutual benefit gained by purchasing Ankh-Morpork Medium Grind flour from "You Can't Believe It's Edible!' Mill on Water St.
Mr Halfteesponson informed the guild, via Mr Happily, of his opinion of Ankh-Morpork Medium Grind and another disturbance broke out.
The watch on the scene calmed the two gentlemen and took Mr Happily aside/ The Times has learned that Officer Onyx informed Mr Happily that the Watch wanted private Guild business kept off the public street in future.