He used to be a monster. He was a dark creature on the other side of the wall built between all people - a dangerous creature in a different world. The air he breathed was poisonous, the food he ate was deadly, he was heartless and unfeeling - he wasn't human. He was something else.
They all were. They killed and lied and stole and they didn't seem to care and how could they be like that? There was something wrong with them - something broken in their makeup that allowed them to be so guiltless about their actions, so uncaring - so selfish.
They saw themselves as independant of others - a delicate web that could break apart at the slightest disruption from another. They were unpredicatable, having no honour; ready to betray for money or whim. They laughed at the pain of others, finding joy when others begged them for what they'd never get. They were the monsters in the darkness and the bogeyman beneath the bed.
They were dark creatures - horrible beings that masqueraded as humans and expected to get their way. There was no reasoning with them. Only bargaining; and even then, expect a knife in the back. They deserved to be gotten rid of - prevented and done away with before they had the chance to ruin the lives of so many innocents.
But it was his blood flowing through his veins - not the rotten blood stolen from the children he had kidnapped or murdered. He breathed in the same oxygen-nitrogen-argon mixture that everyone else did, and he would still die from lack of oxygen. He had five fingers and four limbs, and his eyes and teeth and tongue looked the same as everyone elses.
He laughed and he feared and he cried just the same as everyone else. Perhaps it was for different reasons - but he still felt emotion. Perhaps he hid more of it than others did, but it still existed.
He did walk in a different world, in a different life. He played the game by different rules. But for those same rules, there were very different consequences. A show of weakness in her world could only mean mockery or ostracisation - but in his? There were many different people walking there, and many different forms of death.
They were dark creatures, yes - something different and broken deep inside of them. But they were on both sides of the 'wall', walking in both worlds. They were broken - but it didn't begin that way. It never began that way. If it began that way, then the world would be black and white.
He murdered people - executed them or had them done away with. He was wanted, and dangerous, and they had to play along with him to catch those even worse. And they were worse. They worked with a monster to catch monsters and they saw that the 'monster' wasn't really a 'monster'.
She used to look away when he worked - when he manipulated them into helping him play his game. She looked away and pretended she didn't know - that she wouldn't do the same. And now, she was dragged into his world - she was a player in his game rather than just a watcher. She looked when he drew the gun now, watched as he pulled the trigger.
What had changed? How had black and white lightened and darkened? When did the blood she scorned on others' hands begin to spatter her clothes and when had she begun to understand that world on the other side of the wall? It wasn't supposed to be understandable - to be transferable. People couldn't change - choices once made were made forever.
And yet, she stood here, watching him become more human - watching herself become more monstrous. The clear-cut line between them was fading, and she was slipping quickly to his side. He never moved, but what was once irrevocably black was fading too.
He was supposed to be a monster - to be completely bad and selfish. He was supposed to be dangerous with no exceptions. It was supposed to be good and evil and black and white - all the wrong doers were convicted and locked away; justice winning out in the end.
It wasn't supposed to be this complicated.
AN: Written after the Sir Crispin Crandellepisode. And a Blacklistmusic video... Anyway, a character study of sorts of vilains and heroes and their actions. Written from Lizzie's point of view, and how she has changed in looking at the world since the pilot. Mostly. The title is take from "Of Mice and Men", and the places switched because of the sizing: mice are smaller than men, and men are smaller than monsters. 11-14-2015