Love and heal all the hurt away
„Mom, he didn't do anything, I swear! We don't need to go!"
„Isabella I won't discuss this with you, we are having you checked!"
"Please Mom!" I don't want some stranger touching me. Mommy, please.
"No!"
"Ms. Higginbottom you told the nurse that your daughter's behavior concerned you?"
"Yes, you see we just moved here to live with my new boyfriend but ever since we moved in Isabella is acting differently. At first I just thought she was having difficulties with adapting, but now I'm really concerned. She was never a shy or nervous girl and now look at her. I talked with her teachers and nothing conspicuous happened at school, but she won't talk to me and won't be around my boyfriend. Do you think something happened?"
Renee was the world's best actor, of course I wouldn't stay around her new beau because I was still hoping that this would stop if I didn't go near him, but no. Every new city the same old story...
"I understand that you are concerned and as every good mother you want to make sure that your daughter is ok. We will examine her and see if she was assaulted, but I am sorry to say that the described behavior would fit. Come here Isabella, you don't need to be afraid, change into this grown and I promise everything is going to be ok."
Yeah how often did I hear this sentence?
I don't know why, but my mother's hobby is doctor-hopping and she spends all her money on them. But not like getting plastic surgeries, she wants them to examine me! At the beginning I thought she was just a very concerned mother but the older I get the harder this is to believe.
My whole life I never stayed longer than a few months at one place then the medical facilities were exhausted and we had to move. At the beginning it was only my mom and me, but in the last few years we would move from one loser to the next and every time it ended because my mom accused them of stuff. Sometimes the guys would give her money to keep quiet but sometimes we had to run away. When I was nine I stopped unpacking my two duffle bags.
I don't talk any longer with other people, which means doctors and nurses and I usually hide behind my hair. My mom always tells others that I was such an outgoing child before, but that's a lie I never was. I'm homeschooled, well I homeschool myself and the only time I get out of the house is to go to the doctor. You would think that I'd like that, but no, I hate doctors, the touching and probing and the questions they ask.
When I was younger my mom 'accidentally' injured me so that I needed medical attention. She would always break down after I was treated and would want the doctor to hug her so she could cry into his arm. If he comforted her it was a good day. And in my childish logic I started to hurt myself, because I was rewarded when mommy was happy. So without even trying I became extremely clumsy and now mommy wouldn't hurt me.
"Baby come, it's time to go."
"Ma'am, how can I help you?"
"Hello my name is Renee Higginbottom my daughter needs to see a doctor, please help me!"
"It's ok Renee, calm down. We will help her. Can you tell me what happened?"
"We just moved here because of my new boyfriend. Oh my god, it is all my fault! Issy never liked him, but I thought she was rebelling you know." Renee fakes tears to perfection.
"A few days ago she stopped talking and last night she had this terrible nightmare were she woke up screaming, but besides this she is mute. I found her in her room crying and clutching her stomach and yesterday she was in the shower for two hours! Something must have happened. But she is homeschooled, the only other person she saw besides me is my new boyfriend! I don't know what to do, I don't know anyone around here and I spend all our money for the move, what shall I do? Please help my baby!"
"Oh my god, I'll get the doctor immediately, calm down honey, everything will be ok, you're a wonderful mother, it's gonna be ok. Dr. Cullen is wonderful with his patients, he will be able to help the two of you. He will know what to do and how to get you out of there. Go to exam room number two. Do you want something to drink? I'll get you some water. Please don't cry, sweetie. Everything is going to be ok."
"Dr. Cullen could you please take over this emergency from room number two? It is a very distraught mother with her thirteen-year-old daughter. We have serious suspicion that she was sexually abused by the mother's new boyfriend."
"Oh what is wrong with this world? I'll be there in a minute. What's the girl's name?"
"I'm so sorry doctor, I totally forgot to ask, her mother's name is Renee."
"Thank you Silvia."
"Ms. Higginbottom? Hello my name is Doctor Cullen. And this must be your daughter?"
"Yes, this is my Isabella. Thank you for seeing us. I just didn't know what to do."
"Isabella, sweetie, can you look at me? Hush sweetie, I won't hurt you, I promise! You don't have to be scared of me, I just want to see your pretty face."
"She doesn't speak with me either, ever since Monday the only things she does is shaking and hiding like now and sometimes whimpering. Yesterday I found out that she stayed in the shower for two hours and she has nightmares."
"It was the right thing to come here, but I'm afraid to examine her if she is in that state of a mind."
"Please Doctor Cullen, I need to know what's wrong with her! Please help her, I just want my baby back!"
"Ms. Higginbottom"
"Renee"
"Renee, I understand that this is a really difficult situation for you and I won't just send your daughter away, I'm just afraid that a medical examination against her will could harm her further. I also have a medical degree in psychology. Would you be willing to let me talk to Isabella for a moment?"
"Of course. Please go a head."
"I will have a nurse bring you back in."
"Wait! You want me to go out?"
"Sometimes it is easier to open up to a stranger."
"If you think so. I would prefer to stay with my baby, but you are the doctor."
"Isabella – what a beautiful name. Do you have a nickname?"
"Bella" I heard myself whisper and was surprised by myself that I answered the doctor out loud. I never did.
"How apt, do you know that bella means beautiful in Italian?" I felt my head shake. Who was this gentle doctor? They never took the time to talk with me or send Renee out. But I still didn't dared to lift my head and to take a look. I sat on the uncomfortable chair with my knees up on the stool and my arms hugging my knees while my hair covered my face.
"I understand if you are afraid, hospitals and doctors can be scary. I promise you, you don't have to do anything you don't want to." This was the first time a doctor said this to me. Usually they would just order some nurses to grab me and did what ever they thought they needed to do.
"Really?" My voice whispered silently, full of doubt.
"Really!" And his voice sounded so sincere that I actually believed him. And with this my head rose slightly and I took a look at him through my hair.
"There she is." The doctor said as I got a good look at him. I was flabbergasted he was the most beautiful man I had ever seen. He looked so strong, but his demeanor was oh so gentle. He had light blond hair and so pale skin, but his eyes were what captured me the most – they were pure gold. He smiled a soft smile, but I had to look at his eyes again. They looked to compassionate. After the few seconds it took to take him in I hide again behind my hair, but now my posture was a bit more relaxed. Never in my whole life had anybody cared so much about me like this man and I didn't understand.
He didn't said anything else, instead he gave me room to breath and I did just that. I actually felt safe. He had taken Renee's chair and just sat next to me and let me be.
After a while my breathing was so much easier than I could ever remember and I managed to put my feet on the ground, but I still needed to keep my arms around my body to protect me – just in case.
"Please don't hurt me." Broke a sob suddenly through my closed lips and just like a broken dam tears ran from my closed eyes and sobs shuddered through my body.
"Bella, may I hold your hand?"
I didn't understood why, would he want to sedate me? But I felt the urge to comply and extracted one of my hands with quite some struggle from my body.
"There you go. I just want to hold your hand to let you know you are not alone. I don't know what happened, though I have some ideas. I won't hurt you. I will never do anything against your will. Do you understand? Let it all out honey, don't bottle it up. Nothing will hurt you here. You are safe." I didn't understand I never let down my walls, but all I wanted was to climb on Doctor Cullen's lap and let him comfort me. What was wrong with me?
"I'm ok," I sobbed "I'm sorry."
"Hush, there is nothing to be sorry about."
"I understand if you don't want to talk about it, but can I ask you a few questions? If you don't want to answer one just say next?" I just nodded and he pressed my hand.
"Do you realize that your mother thinks you were sexually assaulted?" I nodded.
"Ok."
"Can you tell me if you are physically hurting right now? Are you in pain?"
I shake my head.
"Good, I'm glad you're not."
"Is your mom right?"
"Next."
"Alright, you're doing good sweetie."
"Did somebody hurt you?" How should I answer, I don't know. It is true, mom is still hurting me sometimes, but it is getting less. I don't know why she does it. And Brian did nothing wrong.
I shake my head again and hear Dr. Cullen sigh. He undoubtedly doesn't believe me. I probably took too long to answer.
"Bella, I promise you that you are safe here. Is there anybody pressuring you, no matter who or what this person is saying I am very sure that this person is wrong. You can tell me."
I started to cry again, I wanted so much to tell him the truth, that it hurt, but I couldn't.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." I whispered again and again so silently that I doubted he could hear me, but he pressed my hand one more time and let me cry till I finished.
"Let's call your mom back in, ok?" He asked and I nodded.
"Ms. Higginbottom, I would like to see Bella once a week to talk with her. Will that work for you?"
"Yes of course if you think so, but why? Did she spoke with you and did you examine her, what are the results?"
"I talked to her a bit, but you will understand that these information are confidential."
"But I'm her mother and she's a minor."
"This is correct, but this is not a life or death situation and if Isabella is comfortable she can tell you herself."
"And what about her physical examination."
"In my professional opinion Isabella is in no state to be examined so there won't be any physicals until I give her the all clear."
"No physicals? But what about evidence?"
"Well you told me that she spend two hours in the shower so I have no hope to find any kind of evidence. She is in no physical pain so there is nothing I can do. Please bring her back in a week and we will take it from there. Have a good week Isabella, take care!"
"What an asshole! Who does he think he is? How dare he talking with me? You won't be going back, we're moving! The last doctor was suspicious too because you were still a virgin…"
"Hello son, how was your day?"
"Hello Carlisle, thank you for asking, it was the same and yours?"
"The same works for mine, too, but there is this patient I can't get out of my head."
"Child abuse is one of the worst things. You handled her well."
"I have a bad feeling, although I can't pinpoint it. Would you like … do you think you could accompany me next week to her appointment? You could be my intern. And listen to her thoughts?"
"Of course."
"Thank you Edward!"
"She isn't coming."
"I'm wondering why? Do you think something happened?"
"I hope not. Nurse Mala, could you please call the Higginbottoms? Isabella missed her appointment and I want to know why."
"Of course Doctor Cullen."
"Dr. Cullen? The address must be wrong, there is no No. 231 in the Westchester road. I know for sure, my former husband used to live there. And nobody is answering the phone. I'll ask Sylvia she was the one who took her in."
"Dr. Cullen? I talked with nurse Allman and she said that the mother was so distraught she might have put her old address on the form as she moved just a few days ago. But she didn't said from where she moved. I'm sorry, but I think there is no way to contact her. The poor dear."
"Ok, thank you for your effort. May I ask just one more thing? I know that you have friends in some of the other hospitals here in Providence, could you call them and ask if they had an assault case with a thirteen year old in the last two weeks?"
"Of course."
"She's confused. She thinks that you might want to impress me."
"Well, I normally wouldn't go all this way for a patient I just saw once, but like I told you I have a bad feeling about this case."
"Doctor Cullen? I'm sorry to disturb your lunch break with your son, but you were right! I found two Isabella Higginbottoms, one Isabella Huggins and one Isabella Bottom, all thirteen years old, all cases of sexual assault and all remembered a very distraught mother named Renee. They all had the nonexistent address and Renee always paid cash. What does this mean?"
"Please tell child service to contact me and ask the other hospitals to send us copies of records."
"Edward look at this! Five hospitals in eleven days and I was the only one that didn't perform a full medical exam. I was the only one that actually talked with Bella and separated mother and child! She was terrified of being touched by me. She didn't play anything. And this is only one city. This woman is sick!"
"I can't imagine what this must mean for the girl. But what do you think is wrong with the mother?"
"I would guess she suffers from the Münchausen syndrome by proxy or short MSbP or MBP."
"Are you sure? I never encountered one, but we never worked in the psychiatrist ward before."
"Sadly I'm quite positive. I really hope that the child service will find Isabella. The only way out is to separate mother and child. MSbP is the most lethal form of child abuse, although it mostly concerns infants."
"Renee, I have enough! I don't know what is wrong. I love you! Dearly! That's why I married you, but you are ill, you need help! I can't watch this any longer!"
"Phil please, you are exaggerating."
"I am not, you need help!"
"I'll do anything for you, I promise, please don't leave me!"
"Ok Renee, here is the deal: we will talk with a doctor and you will do everything he says and in return I promise you to help you through this. In sickness and health, remember? But I can only do this if you want to become better."
"Phil? Were is mom and who are these people?"
"Bella, this is Ms. Miller and Mrs. Cove. Mrs. Cove works for the child service and Ms. Miller is a psychologist."
"Hi. But why are they here? Where is mom?"
"Hello Isabella, please call me Liv. I'm very sorry to tell you that your mom is ill. That is why she is staying at the Elison hospital for a while to get better. Unfortunately this means that she won't be able to care for you. You just turned seventeen so you are still a minor and can't stay on your own. We found out who your father is. We already talked to him and he will take you in."
"I don't understand. You can't just send me to a man I've never met before! Why can't I stay here with Phil?"
"I'm sorry Isabella, but this is not possible, the judge ruled that you have to stay with your father. Your flight to Washington leaves in the evening."
"But what is with my mom? I want to see her. Washington? That's at the other end of the US."
"I'm sorry, but your mother is forbidden to have any contact with you. If you want to you can write her a letter and Mr. Dwyer can give it to her, but that is the only way and she isn't allowed to answer it."
"I don't understand. I just don't understand. What is wrong with her."
"She suffers from a very rare mental disorder called Münchausen syndrome by proxy. It means that your mother deliberately fabricated and induced physical, psychological, behavioral, and/or mental health problems in you. We actually have been looking for you for the last four years, but your mother was very talented in escaping us."
"You have been looking for me?"
"Yes, but we were always too late. When we finally found you, you had already moved. Isabella, you need to understand that your mother's behavior was not normal. You don't need to see a doctor three times a week when you are completely healthy. Your mother's behavior is considered child abuse. We are really happy that she finally turned herself in and your father will take good care of you. He is the chief of police in Forks, Washington and you will finally be able to have a stable home, find friends, go to school. Everything is going to be ok now. You are safe now."
"I love happy endings." Said the woman from social service and I only looked at her stunned.
"Isabella Dwyer?" A man in a police uniform asks me, oh right my "father" is the chief of police.
"Yes?"
"I am Chief Swan, eh Charlie Swan, your father."
"Mhm."
"Let's go. Is this all your luggage."
"Yes."
"Good."
"The car is over there."
"So this is your room. I ordered pizza for dinner."
"Mhm."
"I talked with the school and they'll need you to do a test to see which grade you'll be in."
"Do you have a drivers license?"
"Yes."
"Good, so you can get yourself to school. Here are the keys."
"Hello Isabella, I'm Mrs. Cope. I got your test results so here is your new schedule. There is also a map to find your classes. Have a good first day, dear."
"So you are the Chiefs kid? Never knew he had a child before or even dated a woman, haha. I'm Mike Newton btw."
"Ah Ms. Dwyer, right? My name is Mr. Banner. Let me sign your slip and then you can take your seat next to Mr. Cullen over there."
I was hiding behind the curtain of my hair for the whole time, but on my way to my seat I stumbled. Stupid clumsiness, why wouldn't it stop now that I didn't lived with Renee any longer? As I straightened myself I looked up for the first time of the day and looked into the most gorgeous eyes I had ever seen. They were the purest gold, but the second our eyes connected they turned pitch black. Huh? The owner of the eyes took a deep breath and started to smile? (AN: in this story it isn't unusual to find your mate in a human and the blood of your mate won't cause any negative effects, quite the contrary) It was a boy, with reddish, no bronze colored hair. Then he suddenly hold out his hand to help me to my seat. What was this? I never voluntarily touched anybody, why did I feel this pull? Why did I want to touch him? Although my mind was still pondering, my hand acted on it's own and found it's way into the strangers hand. The second we touched I felt an electrical spark run through my body and I involuntarily shrieked a bit which made the stranger chuckle. The most beautiful sound I ever heard.
"Hello love." He said and I had to correct me - that was the most beautiful sound.
"My name is Edward Cullen and you are?"
"Isabella Dwyer, but I prefer Bella."
"Bella" he rolled my name over his tong, like testing it "beautiful."
The world could have stopped turning, the classroom could have been burning and I wouldn't have known and couldn't care less. I was captured in my own little bubble and for the second time in my life I felt safe.
The ring of the bell ripped me from my stupor and I realized that I spend the whole hour looking into Edwards's eyes. He gracefully rose from his stool and helped me up, the whole time never letting go of my hand. Hand in hand we walked thru the hallways and I simply followed his lead. We walked across the parking lot and he stopped in front of a silver Volvo. He opened the passenger door and helped me in. In mere seconds he sat in the driver seat and offered me his hand once more and without thought I grabbed it again.
"Let's get somewhere quite." I just nodded and he started the car.
He took us the 101 south and stopped at a small parking bay that overlooked the sea. The sky was overcast and colored the water in the prettiest dark blue and green. Usually I could have watched the sea for hours on end, I always loved living near the sea. But now there was nothing better than his eyes. They turned first amber and than golden again once we left the school building and I turned over my mind where I had seen this eye color before. But I didn't knew the answer.
Edward took a deep breath and I smiled encouraging. He explained that he was a vampire who mated for life and that he finally found his soulmate – me.
Any other person would have landed in the same mental facility my mother inhabited, but I knew deep in my heart that he told the truth. He told me all about himself and his family, his loneliness and his gift. He even showed me his strength and he simply talked for hours.
Much to early we watched the sunset and it got dark.
"When will your father be waiting for you?"
"I don't know?"
"Then let's get back, we can't have you missing on your second night here."
"What shall we tell the people?"
"Let's say we met before, but lost touch?"
"Yes that will work."
When we arrived home after we picked up my truck from the school (much to Edwards dismay) my 'father' was still not there and I started cooking while Edward sat on the breakfast bar watching me.
"So why did you moved here?"
I let the knife fall to the ground.
"Ok, no more knifes for you, give me the vegetables, I cut, you cook."
"I'm fine thank you."
"Nope, won't do. Come on, let me help."
"Only because you are asking so nicely."
"Come, sit with me and tell me. I noticed that you avoided talking about yourself the whole time now it is your turn."
"Mhm, my mom remarried."
"Oh, I'm sorry. And you don't like the new guy?"
"No, Phil is fine, but my mom is ill and can't take care of me any longer. So Social Service searched for my biological dad. I wanted to stay with Phil, but the judge ruled that I had to live with my dad, who never knew I existed in the first way. But as the chief of police he has a stable income and a house, while Phil worked as a minor league baseball coach and had to travel a lot. The judge also didn't liked that my mom kept my existence a secret and wanted to give my 'father' a change to get to know his daughter. He never even asked me what I wanted. They just send some psychologist to our apartment and told me to pack my stuff, a few hours later they drove me to the airport and here am I. I wasn't even allowed to say good-bye to my mom."
"Oh baby, I'm so sorry. I see how much they must have hurt you, and I want to hurt them for hurting you, but please forgive me that I can't hate them as this led me to you."
"I know Edward, I don't know what I would do without you here."
"You will never know love!"
"Do you want to tell me about your mother's illness? You know that I hold two decrees in medicine and that Carlisle is one of the world's best doctors. Our resources may be able to help her to get better or to convince them to let you see her."
"Thank you for your offer Edward I really do appreciate it, but I'm not ready to talk about it. I'm sorry, but I don't want to lie to you."
"I understand love, I really do. Thank you for your honesty, but know that you can always talk with me. I would do anything for you."
"I know."
This was the beginning of my new life.
My relationship with Charlie was still really awkward, he just wasn't daddy-material, our motto was living and letting live and it worked for us. Well because of Edward I didn't minded much. Although I knew that Edward was more than irritated with my father's behavior.
There wasn't nearly a moment we didn't spend together. Edward would drive us to school, he had our schedules altered so we spend every class together, then we would go home or to our parking bay and spend the afternoon talking. We would cook together and when Charlie got home we would do our homework. Edward would say good-bye and I would tell Charlie good night. Then I would walk upstairs to my room where Edward would be waiting for me. He would sing me to sleep and stay with me until he would wake me for school, then he would leave to change his clothes and our routine would start again.
I hadn't met his family yet as newly mated males tended to become possessive towards other male vampires, but he planned for us to meet them on the next weekend.
I was really excited to meet the family as I felt that I knew them already.
"Edward?"
"Mhm"
"You said that Rosalie and Emmett would marry again soon."
"Yes?"
"Well and I wondered if weddings and marriage would mean the same in your world as in mine."
"Ah that's what you want to know. Well yes, we still have these instincts, there are just other, additional ones. Is there a specific reason why you're asking?"
"Eh no." I lied.
"I know you lied, I thought we wouldn't do this."
"Sorry, it's just embarrassing."
"No, don't be. There is nothing you have to be ashamed of between the two of us."
"Well I just wondered what your expectations would be like, I mean you spend every night here and I feel that we are already more than every other boy-and girlfriend thing."
"True, but please know that I would never do anything you wouldn't want me to. It is physically impossible for me to hurt you, as you are my mate. Our bond was completed the second we touched for the first time. Do you remember the electrical feeling?"
"Yes, I do."
"So let me ask a question, and please be honest: does it bother you, me spending the night?"
"No it doesn't, actually it is really comforting. I used to have a lot of nightmares, but you chase them away. But I also don't feel ready for much more."
"Hey, what did I say? Don't be ashamed. I always want you to tell me exactly what you feel. You know how much I love your silent mind, but in moments like this I whish to know what you were thinking. We will take it as slow or as fast as you want to. I waited more than 100 years for you, just to be in your presence will always be enough."
"Ok, I believe you. But I also want to satisfy your needs."
"You do love, you do."
"So kisses are ok?"
"Yes. Lot's of kisses."
"Are you excited to meet the family?"
"Yes, but I also worry that they won't like me."
"Tell tale why wouldn't they like you?"
"Firstly I am human and they are not."
"Baby, did you forget what I told you about vampire history? It is totally normal to find your mate in a human, even more common than finding them after both were changed. There are even special laws that apply to human mates. You are a cherished part of our society. The only rule you have to follow is that you are not allowed to tell other humans about us, but you are a part of our world ever since our mating was completed when we touched the first time. Carlisle and Rosalie found their mates while they were humans, too, remember?"
"Oh yes, I forgot."
"Ok, what else?"
"I don't remember."
"Good, because we are here."
The house or should I say mansion was a true beauty and for the first time in my life I felt at home.
"They are finally here!" I heard a high, happy voice shouting and then a white and black lightning shot towards me and I was engulfed in a bone-crushing hug.
"Careful!" Edward growled.
"Hi, I'm Alice and we are going to be best friends!"
"Hi Alice, so nice to finally met you!"
"Yay! Come meet my Jazz. This is my husband Jasper."
"Pleasure to meet you ma'am."
"Nice to meet you, too." I giggled.
"And these two are Emmett and Rosalie." Emmett waved and Rosalie nodded in my direction.
"Hi."
"And last but not least our parental figures Esme and Carlisle."
Esme walked closer and put her arms carefully around me. My only thought was mom.
"I'm so happy to finally met you" she whispered in my ear and stepped aside to let her husband greet me.
I was still in a haze from the incredible warm welcoming that it took a moment to take Carlisle's hand and to look into his face but when I did I couldn't stop my gasp.
"Dr. Cullen" I whispered shocked, finally realizing where I met Edward's eyes before.
"Bella!" He replied equally shocked and Edward was between us instantly.
"You know each other?" Edward questioned and put his arms around me while the others gathered closer around us.
"We do." He simply said, still astounded and Esme invited us to take a seat in the living room.
"Than could you please tell me how you know my mate?" Edward pressed and became stressed and agitated. I stroked his hand to calm him and he actually settled down.
"And to think that you nearly met her, too, Edward!" Was the first thing Carlisle said while I still tried to process that one of my doctors had actually been a vampire. Now I knew why he was the best, none of the others could have his practice and life experience.
"I'm sorry, but this is Bella's story to tell. She was one of my patients Edward. And although it is hard around a mind-reader, I do take my doctor-patient confidentiality seriously."
Edward nodded and pulled me on his lap. "Can you tell us Bella? Or would you prefer not to?" Edward asked and I didn't know what to do. I knew that there were no secrets in this family, but I also knew that they would respect my wish.
"It's ok if you are not ready." Edward confirmed, but a part of me was so sick of all the lies and secrets.
"I don't know." I said honestly, "maybe later?"
"Of course love."
"Alice told us that you are Chief Swan's daughter?" Esme started a new topic and I nodded thankfully.
"But I thought your name was Dwyer and not Swan." Emmett asked confused.
"I took my stepdad's name." I whispered and tried to explain, but I could feel that I started to withdraw. Just like when I was younger. Only ever since Edward did it stop.
"But why didn't you stay with your mom and stepdad?" Emmett drilled and I hid further in Edwards's chest.
"Do you want me to tell them?" Edward asked.
"Yes, I thought they already knew."
"I haven't seen any of them since I met you." He explained and smiled softly and then continued.
"Bella's mom got sick so the state decided to search for her biological father and it turned out that it was Chief Swan. He had no idea that he actually had a daughter so the judge gave him full custody." I could feel that Carlisle was monitoring me closely and buried my face even deeper in Edward, I tried to breath as much of Edward's scent in as I could, because I didn't want to see the pictures in my head, but breathing was becoming harder and harder.
I heard voices, but I couldn't understand what they were saying. I felt that I was moved, but I couldn't stop it.
"Breath Bella, copy my breathing, deep breaths sweetheart, good baby-girl, calm down, you're safe."
The words were starting to make sense again and I saw Carlisle kneeing in front of me, holding my hand against his chest.
"Well done, sweetie. Everything is going to be ok! You are safe!" I looked into his eyes and I saw that he was speaking the truth and I did the one thing I wanted to do ever since I was thirteen years old: I threw myself in his arms and began to cry.
And just like the last time he let me. He cuddled me close and simply held me, telling me that it was really going to be ok.
You're safe. You're safe. This sentence was being repeated in my mind over and over again.
"They will never hurt you again sweetie, you are a part of my family now. Forever. I'm so happy that you found Edward. I have been looking for you the whole time. I was so concerned. But we've got you now. You are finally safe. Everything is going to be ok."
Am I dreaming, this? It is too good to be true.
"I am dead right?" I suddenly asked out loud and started sobbing again.
"Why would you think so?" Edward exclaimed.
"It's too good to be true, I must be in heaven, I can't believe it. She finally went too far and now I am dead. I never thought heaven would make all my dreams come true. I'm not sleeping right?"
"Hush baby, don't panic again! You are not dreaming, I promise. But you are not dead either. It's true sweetie. Come, show us your beautiful eyes, baby. Good job and now listen very closely: You. Are. Awake. And not dead and this is very real, you are loved and safe, you have a new family now and we will forever protect you, nobody will ever hurt you again. Am I clear?"
"Yes sir."
"No sir baby, it's dad."
"Thank you daddy!"
"You are welcome, I love you baby girl. Everything is going to be ok."
"Now baby I know that your mate is very patient, but do you think the two of us could tell the rest of the family your story?"
"We can try?"
"Of course sweetie."
"Maybe you could start and I try to fill the blanks?"
"Very well. I met Isabella four years ago while Edward, Esme and I lived in Providence. Alice and Jasper spend the time with their friends Peter and Charlotte and Rosalie and Emmett were in Russia. The second I met Isabella I knew that she was special, I felt a connection I didn't understand. I felt very protective of her and knew that she was hurting, but I didn't knew why. Her mother brought her into the hospital because she was convinced that her daughter was sexually assaulted by her new boyfriend and wanted me to examine her." I focused completely on Carlisle, but I could hear the gasps over the room and I felt Edward's hands on my back while I was still sitting on Carlisle's lap.
"The child showed all signs of abuse, and the mother's story was well rehearsed, but something made me doubt it. I send the mother out of the room and started talking with the girl and it became obvious that she was frightened to death. At this point I still didn't knew what was going on, but I knew that something was terrible wrong with the young girl and I actually had to fight myself not to just take her with me and bring her home to my wife."
"Really? You did?"
"I did and until today I regretted that I didn't do it." And with this I started to cry again.
"Oh baby girl, I didn't wanted to make you cry. I just wanted you to know that you were my daughter even then."
"But I don't want you to beat yourself up even more when I fill the blanks." Bella wailed and Carlisle's heart broke for his fragile daughter.
"We will find a way to move on, I promise!"
"Ok."
"I wasn't sure if Isabella would open up to me again and if therapy would help her to this time, but I knew I needed to see her again. So I managed to convince her mother to weekly therapy with her daughter. She wasn't happy with my treatment plan and left begrudgingly. At home I asked Edward to accompany me as my intern for Isab…" and now it was Edward's turn to grasp in surprise. He had been still as a stone for the last minutes, but now he was shaking terribly.
"It's ok son, you found her, we've got her now, nobody will ever harm her again." Now it was Carlisle's turn to comfort his son and Esme was immediately at his side to hold him. Bella took his hand and with their combined effort they managed to calm him.
"Please continue" Edward whispered brokenly.
"I wanted Edward with me to read the girls mind during our next therapy session so I would be able to help her faster, but the girl and the mother never came."
"That's what you meant when you said that we could have met earlier?"
"Exactly. We tried to contact them, but the address and the phone number were false."
"You actually tried to find me?"
"Of course."
"Nobody ever did."
"I'm so sorry that nobody realized what was really going on."
"It's not your fault. You did. In my whole life before I met Edward there was only one situation I ever felt safe and it was the hour in your office after you sent Renee out."
"We contacted the other hospitals in Providence and found out that you had been there, too. After we had this evidence I contacted child service and they tried to find you ever since."
"Thank you daddy, thank you for not giving up. I wouldn't have survived much longer." Bella cried.
"Oh thank you god for finding her in time, we would have never been whole without our daughter, sister and mate."
"Do you think you can tell us what happened after you left the hospital?" Edward asked with a broken voice.
"I don't know." I whimpered. "Renee was so mad, she continued to rant and called Dr. Cullen a lot of names. As soon as we reached our apartment she made me pack our bags and we left. I can't remember the names of all the places we lived, we never stayed longer than three or four month. This game continued until five month ago. That's when she met Phil and both were so in love. I was used to all the boyfriends as they were one of Renee's incomes, but Phil was different. He was actually a decent guy. We met him at some make a wish benefit and they were married a month later. This was new, Renee always preached to never marry, but like I said Phil was different. We moved with him to Phoenix and for the first two months Renee was so occupied with her new life and playing house that she let go of her old ways. I actually started to hope a little bit. But it was too good to be true, Phil was offered a new job and he had to travel a lot which suited mom just fine and while Phil was at work Renee would pursue her favorite part time activity again."
"What's her favorite hobby?" Rosalie asked with a small voice after some time.
"Hurt Bella or pretend she was hurt and then take her to the doctor so they can hurt her for you." Growls could be heard through the whole room and Edward picked me from Carlisle's lap and started to touch me, to make sure I wasn't in pain.
"It's ok Edward, I'm not hurting anymore!" I tried to convince him, but when he reached my tummy I couldn't stop myself and flinched away whimpering.
"I'm sorry love did I hurt you?" Edward asked me desperately, but I could only shake my head and clutch my belly.
"What's wrong baby?"
"I'm sorry" I cried, "just a trigger. I'm sorry."
"Never apologize for hurting!" Edward growled and took me back into his arms.
"I am sorry love, I will remember. Please never hesitate to tell me what's wrong, ok?"
"Ok."
"So she continued?"
"Yes, but since she married Phil and they had one shared bank account he figured it out after a while. At the end he made her choose stopping or loosing him. She chose him, she is living in a mental facility for now but in a few month she will be released. There will be a few requirements, she isn't allowed to have any kind of contact with me, she won't be allowed to have another child or to have access to other kids, and she isn't allowed to have an animal, but that's it. In a few months she will be able to return to Phil and to lead a normal life."
"But she abused you for years!" Rosalie exclaimed.
"Yeah, but she turned herself in, it doesn't matter that she did it for Phil and not because she didn't want to hurt me any longer, they wouldn't have found her otherwise. And most of all she didn't forced the doctors to hurt me either, it was the doctors' decision. It is more likely to get some of the doctors behind bars for malpractice than Renee for child abuse."
"That's sick. I mean I don't like that the doctors mistreated you, but they tried to help, right?" Alice asked.
"Yeah, that's why I won't press charges."
"Enough with the heavy now. I cooked you some dinner and I hope you'll like it. Unfortunately I couldn't taste it myself." Esme said and lead me in the kitchen.
Of course it tasted wonderful and I was really touched. It was the first time I remembered that someone else had cooked for me. Until I was old enough Renee and I lived from take out and when I was old enough to reach the stove Renee made me cook.
"It's later than usual, I should take you home." Edward told me after a while and we started to tell everybody good-bye, when Alice stopped us.
"But you can't take her until you showed her her room!" She exclaimed and I looked at Edward questioning.
He smiled and took me upstairs. We ended up on the fourth floor. "This is our floor" he explained.
"Before I met you I had my room up here and the other room was a guest room, but when Esme learned that I had found my mate she remodeled the floor. We hope you'll like it." I was flabbergasted and opened the first door hesitantly.
"Wow!" The first room was a bedroom, with the softest, golden carpet I had ever seen, with a huge canopy king-size bed in the middle, full of golden pillows and a super soft looking comforter. In front of the windows was a comfy looking loveseat and a dark wooden dresser completed the picture. Edward explained that the first of the two doors lead to our in-suite and walk-in closet. But he lead me to the second door.
My first thought was that we were outside, but I quickly realized that the whole south side of the room was made of glass. In front of the glass front stood a beautiful black leather sofa and the other walls held a huge shelf, full of cd's and books. The floor was covered with the same beautiful carpet and at the end of the room stood a beautiful desk with a mac book on it and a comfy looking chair.
"And this is our private library and music room. It is mostly filled with my stuff for now, but I hope that you will fill it soon, too. I told Esme that you loved to read and write so she added your own workspace."
"You mean the desk is for me?"
"Yes love, just like the computer."
"Your mother is giving me a computer?"
"Sure. She wasn't sure what kind of books you liked besides Austin and Bronte and we already have some first editions in the family library so she thought a computer would be more useful. She already installed this kindle program for you and downloaded all the classics as well as adding you to the family amazon account for your purchases."
"I don't know what to say? I thought you already convinced me that I wasn't dead, but now I'm not so sure anymore. This is my epitome of heaven!"
"Now you really made Esme's day."
"No Alice, we don't have time, we really need to go now." Edward suddenly said.
"What does she want?"
"Now that you made Esme's day… you would make Alice's day if you would help her fill our closet."
"Oh, she doesn't need to buy me any clothes." I started. Well I really needed warmer clothes as we lived in Phoenix before but I had no money to buy them, but I couldn't accept any more gifts.
"As I already told you Alice is a shopaholic and she buys the clothes for the whole family, so she will buy you clothes if you want her to or not, but you would make her day if you would help her. And let's be honest if you want to have a say in what she is buying you should join her." I thought about it for a moment, but I felt simply too tired to fight about it.
"Ok."
"Yes!" I heard Alice shriek from downstairs.
"You made her really happy!"
After telling everybody good night we finally left
"I am sorry love, your father is already home and he is in a bad mood. Let me bring you inside."
"Hello Charlie."
"You're late." He huffed.
"I am sorry, that was my fault, Chief Swan. My parents wanted to meet Bella and we forgot the time."
"Yeah, sure."
"My mother would like to invite the two of you for dinner soon and get to know you, too. I am sure she will call you in the next days."
"Mhm, I'm not so sure if I can make it. I'm pretty busy."
"Well she just thought that it would be nice seeing as your kids were dating."
"Yeah, won't start that or I will never have a quite night if I have to meet all the parents of the kids Isabella is dating."
"What are you saying? I don't understand. Edward is my boyfriend and he is the only one and always will be."
"Sure kid. Say good-bye to loverboy."
"See you in a sec, baby, hold on, be strong, we'll talk about it."
"Shh, love, don't cry, he isn't worth your tears."
"But, what did he mean? I don't understand ... why is he so mean, what did I do?"
"You did nothing, I read his thoughts, it is all because of Renee. He thinks that you are just like her, but we both know that this is not true."
"What does he think about Renee?"
"He thinks a lot of very nasty things about her, baby. I am not sure if I should tell you, I hate her already because she hurt you, but she hurt Charlie, too. They did a gen-test to find your father, as there was more than one possible candidate. But I have to be truthful, Charlie's thoughts bother me."
"What do you mean?"
"He has aversions to you because you remind him of Renee and how she hurt him, but most of all he thinks that your presence or well the town's knowledge of your existence destroys his image. How can he preach purity and be a good role model for the teens in town if he has a bastard, too. His words, not mine. And the fact that you found yourself a boyfriend after one day in school doesn't help his prejudices."
"But why did he take me in if he dislikes me so much?"
"If I read his thoughts correctly it was due to social pressure. Social Service came here during a poker game with all the important men of Forks. And let me tell you those men are as bad as their wives when it comes to gossip. What made it only worse was that two of the other men where also possible matches. Whole Forks knew about their possible paternity long before they had the results and the damage was done. When Charlie learned that he was your father he had no choice but to take you in."
"Why didn't you tell me before?"
"I wanted to give him a fair chance. You deserve a loving father and after today I am very glad that you finally got one, blood doesn't matter."
"I really don't know what to do without you and your family. I was serious when I told Carlisle that I wouldn't have been able to live like this much longer."
"I know love, you have no idea how much this thought frightens me. But one more thing: it is our family, your are a part of it as much as I am."
"Your eyes are so dark."
"I know love and I am sorry, but I have to go hunting soon. I will leave you tonight after you fall asleep and be back before you'll know it."
"I don't want you do be hungry or suffer. Is it enough time for you to feed?"
"I will have to hurry, but I can't stand the thought of being away. So for now it has to be enough."
"I don't like the thought either, but I will be fine for a few more hours. I know that you hate the smell of human food, so why don't you leave before dinner?"
"If you are sure?"
"I am."
"Alright love then before dinner."
"Time to say good-bye now?"
"It's only see you later. I'll be the one in the silver Volvo."
"I love you."
"I love you, too. Be safe, ok? Call if something's wrong, promise!"
"Always."
10 Minutes after Edward was gone the pain started. My chest burned so bad I tried to recall the symptoms of a heart attack, but I couldn't remember. It was just my luck, the moment Edward left I would actually need him. Should I call him? But he needed to hunt, I couldn't let him suffer because my chest hurt. It I pulled out my phone and scrolled through my contacts. My finger hovered over the call button for Edwards number, but I couldn't. But the pain got worse by the minute - finally I pressed call.
"Carlisle Cullen"
"Dad?"
"Hi baby, what is wrong?"
"My chest hurts, I can't breath."
"I'll be there in a minute. Hang on darling." After he told me he would come I couldn't concentrate on anything else though I knew he was talking to me the whole time. Suddenly I felt a breeze of air and Carlisle were kneeing on the floor in front of me. I couldn't even remember how I got to the ground.
"Baby, tell Daddy what's wrong, where does it hurt?"
I felt him whipping away my tears and looked into his concerned eyes.
"My heart" I said panicky, "I think I have a heart attack, I can't recall the symptoms, it hurts and it's hard to breath."
"Hush sweetie, I need you to calm down, your heart is beating just fine, maybe a little bit too fast, but it isn't failing. I heard it all the way and it is strong and steady. If you calm down you will see that the breathing will become much easier, too, you were just panicking."
He was right my breathing got easier, but it hurt the same.
"But dad, the pain started first, the panic just followed. Something's wrong I know it, I'm not faking!"
"I know baby. Are you still in pain?"
"Yes." I cried.
"Alright, I believe you, we will figure it out. Are you fit enough to be moved? I would like to take you home, ok?"
"Yeah." I whispered weakly and Carlisle lifted me into his arms and suddenly we were flying through the woods. We reached the house in no time and dad carried me upstairs. I thought he would take me to my room, but he stopped on the second floor and laid me down on an examination table. I started to panic again.
"Don't hurt me, don't hurt me please! I'll be a good girl, I promise!" I cried. And I was immediately moved. When I opened my eyes again I was in Edward's and my room, cradled in Carlisle's arms.
"I'm sorry baby, so sorry, I didn't realized that my office would be a trigger, too. Please forgive me."
"Of course." I whimpered and breathed in Carlisle's unique scent, which helped me to calm down. I heard a knock on the door and Esme walked in.
"Hi little one, I am glad you are here, are you alright?"
"My chest hurts!" I whined and Esme got closer and took my hand in hers.
"When did the pain start?" Carlisle was in doctor mode again, but tried not to scare me.
"Soon after Edward left to go hunting."
"And it never happened before?"
"No never."
"Is it the first time Edward left you for a greater distance?" Esme suddenly wanted to know.
"Yes?" I answered questioningly, not knowing why this was relevant. But Carlisle looked like he had an epiphany.
"Am I right to assume that Edward and you aren't intimate?" Carlisle quickly asked and I blushed.
"Mhm yes." I answered uncomfortably the one person I considered some kind of my father figure.
"I am so sorry darling that we forgot this, you are perfectly fine or will be as soon as Edward will be back. We forgot because we consumed our relationship very soon in our relationship" now I blushed even deeper "and Emmett was changed so quickly that I never experienced it, but now I remember. You are feeling the absence of your mate. It feels like your heart is breaking, right?"
"Yes, exactly."
"I am sorry baby, but there is nothing I can give you to help with the pain. It will stop as soon as Edward is back or you are either a vampire or your relationship is consumed. I am afraid that until then it will hurt you for as long as Edward is gone."
"It is a little bit better now that I know why am I hurting and because you are with me, distracting me. But I don't understand why."
"I don't understand it fully either and I asked Marcus, one of our leaders the very same question. His answer was that mates weren't meant to be apart so the pain was a reminder."
"Is Edward in pain, too?"
"I know that he will feel your absence, yes, but vampires aren't made to feel pain so I am very excited to learn what it was like for him."
"Do you have any other questions or do you want to watch a movie with me to distract you?" Esme asked kindly.
"A movie sounds great."
"Alright, I carry you downstairs ok?"
"Ok, thank you, I am not sure if I could walk."
"It's no problem little one."
Esme had called Charlie and convinced him to let me have a sleepover with Alice and watched one movie after the other with me. I was dog tired, but the pain was too much to even think about sleeping so distracting it was.
In the early morning hours the pain began finally to lessen and a few minutes later Edward burst in full panic mood into the movie room.
"Are you ok? Are you hurt? Why are you here? I got to Charlie's and you where gone, but then I smelled dad and rushed here, what happened?"
"Son, calm down. Everything is ok now, right Bella?"
"Yes, Carlisle."
"Good."
"Wow the mating bond, I totally forgot about it. I am so sorry Bella. Did you hurt bad?"
"It wasn't that bad."
"Now we know that you play things down. It was pretty bad. After we knew what was going on it became manageable and distraction helped." Esme explained. And Edward pulled me into his arms.
"How did it feel like for you, son?" Carlisle wanted to know.
"It was strange, I felt as if I forgot some really important thing. It bugged me without end, but it didn't hurt. Now it makes sense. Let's talk about it later. It is nearly morning and Bella needs to sleep. Come love, I carry you to our bed."
I was asleep before my body touched the soft beddings, what a shame.
"So you spend the day at the Cullen house again?"
"Mhm." I answered my sperm donor.
"As long as you don't bring them into my home. Can't have them parade through my front door. This won't become the Forks' brothel! Just like Renee." He murmured and I also thought I heard the word 'slut' in his ramping. I had to fight my tears and was glad that Edward left for a short hunt. We found out that I was ok until he stayed in a 20 mile radius and as he didn't wanted me to hurt he would disappear for an hour or two every other evening. Usually I would try to stay awake until he got back so we could talk a little bit more and he would sing me to sleep, but tonight I only wanted to forget.
"How did this Dr. Cullen" she spat his name "knew that you want to be called Bella?"
I didn't answer.
"Isabella Higgenbottom, fucking answer me!"
"I don't know."
"I know you're lying you little piece of shit. Did you tell him about us? Did you tell him that your mommy hurt you? You little cry baby. You will know what pain is after I am done with you. After I am finished with you, you will never talk to a doctor again! The evidence will be enough."
I awoke screaming, my ears were ringing but I still heard Renee's evil laughter in my head.
"What's going on in here?" Charlie stormed into my room with a shotgun in his hand.
"Damn, I thought I could shoot one of your loverboys. Thought you were a screamer like your mother." And with this he left my room again and I burst out crying.
"I don't know how much longer I will be able to stand Chief Swans thoughts." Edward said softly as he reentered my room through the window and pulled me into his arms.
"Are you ok now, love?"
"Yeah, just a bad dream."
"I tried to wake you, but Charlie awoke before I could calm you down. I am sorry."
"Don't be, I don't blame you! It's not your fault."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Mhm no thank you, just a silly dream."
"If you are sure. Go back to sleep or you'll be exhausted tomorrow everything is going to be alright."
I wished it was that easy…
Hi guys,
just a little story I needed to get out of my head. I always wondered if there was a reason for Bella's clumsiness and her aversion to doctors. And I am a sucker for father-daughter-Bellisle stories. I hoped you liked my one-shot (for now, but if you did like it you could probably convince me to write a sequel). So let me know what you think!
xo Anna