Zdood Presents:
In Setsuna's Dreams
Disclaimer: Don't own Negima. If I did, there would most likely be much more yuri and probably some exploding penguins for good measure. Also, I don't own Looney Tunes.
AN: For purposes of this fic, Setsuna will be roomed with Kaede.
Enjoy!
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It had been a long day. A very, very long day. A day longer than even Chuck Norris' dick, amazingly (Don't ask). And as Setsuna trudged back to her and Kaede's room, ready to plop down in bed, she could not help but hope that she would have good dreams. You know, to help alleviate the stress of the day (I won't go into details, but I will say that the day's events involved Negi, a rusty spoon, some peanut butter, and a really depraved walrus that claimed to be God).
Little did she know that someone out there (cough, me, cough) was planning to royally screw with her tonight.
After reaching her destination and getting ready for bed, putting on pajamas and such, she muttered out a "Good Night" to the already-asleep Kaede before joining dreamland herself. I can guarantee you that her trip there will not involve any cute pink puffballs that fight cosmic horrors on a regular basis, however.
1111 Dreamland 1111
"Hello Setsuna-kun," greeted the dream Konoemon Konoe as Setsuna stood in a dream Headmaster office, "I have a request for you."
"Um, yes Headmaster?" she queried, curious as to what the dream Konoemon would ask. After all, who knows what kind of weird shit can happen in dreams?
"Well… I happen to have an o-miai for Konoka here…" Konoemon said, pausing for a moment.
"Yes?..." Setsuna prompted, somewhat agitated at the mention of an o-miai. Konoka should be able to marry whomever she wants, after all.
She would soon change her opinion, however…
"And the o-miai's for you, Setsuna-kun!"
Setsuna stiffened in shock, dumbfounded at what she thought she heard.
She just stood there.
And stood there.
And stood there some more. Until, finally…
"…What?"
"You heard me. But, if you want me to make this valid," Konoemon began as he jumped onto his desk,"… then you'll have to catch me first!" He finished as dashed off to who-knows-where.
"MEEP-MEEP!" He, uh… said.
Meanwhile, Setsuna still stood there.
"…What?"
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Now, as Setsuna chased the dream Konoemon through the expanse of her mind, the first thought that came to her now-recovered brain was,
"How the heck did we wind up in an American desert?" And she had good reason to wonder that. I mean, seriously, how DID they wind up in an American desert? Ah, whatever, it's not really important anyway. Stupid dream mechanics…
Anyway, as she chased Konoemon through the vast, barren expanse of what she suspected was somewhere near Alberquerque, she had a shocking revelation- why not use the weirdass dream mechanics to her advantage? And so she did just that. She had, after all, been given a challenge, and even if it WAS a dream, she still wanted to take it up, and that would be the best way to succeed.
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"MEEP-MEEP" shouted the Dean, who was running at speeds to rival Sonic the Hedgehog, unsuspecting of Setsuna's trap. She had laid a crapton of explosives underneath an area on the road that Konoe-runner was currently running to. And, using her highly keen senses, pressed down the detonator at just the right time…
"MEEP-MEEP" shouted the Dean as he ran past the trap that had, curiously, not exploded. Setsuna just stared dumbfoundedly. Then…
BOOM!
As the explosives activated late and sent a huge chunk of rock at her, her only thought was,
"Oh, crap."
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And for Setsuna's next trick, she had painted a fake tunnel onto a boulder and a fake street line leading to it and was hiding nearby, eagerly awaiting her success and the soon-to-be-approved o-miai that would engage her to her beloved, sexy Kono-chan…
"NO! Bad Setsuna! Don't you DARE think of Konoka-ojou-sama in such a lewd fashion!" She shook her head to clear her mind as Konoe-runner approached…
"MEEP-MEEP!" He shouted, now wearing a roadrunner costume for some reason. Setsuna waited as he came closer, and closer, and…
ZOOM!
… Went right through the fake tunnel as if it had been real! Just like she planned!... Wait, what?
"Oh, come on! That defies the laws of physics!" she protested, before "well, if he can do it, so can I!" And then she ran toward the fake tunnel, intent on going through it…
CRASH!
…But, obviously, only managing to crash into it.
"…Ow…"
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Setsuna had temporarily lost Konoe-runner and was now merely wandering through the desert, pondering her next course of action, when suddenly…
"MEEP-MEEP!" came a voice… but it wasn't Konoe-runner. As the blur zoomed past her, she saw that it was an actual bird, not some crazy old guy wearing a bird costume. This blur was followed by another one, which appeared to be a coyote. Weird.
She watched the two blurs zoom into the distance, before turning back to the task at hand.
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"MEEP-MEEP!" yelled Konoe-runner as he sped ahead of Setsuna, who was currently chasing after him. Hey, if cartoon antics don't work, then just go for the old-fashioned way, right? However, the Dean made a very quick U-turn that Setsuna was not able to react to in time. As a result, she wound up dashing over a nearby cliff. Oops.
The dean stood on the cliff, watching her fall for a minute, and then with another "MEEP-MEEP!" he sped off.
"…Damn…" she muttered as she fell.
And, after falling for a bit, the coyote she saw chasing the roadrunner earlier started falling into place beside her. She stared for a moment, before asking, "You, too?" The coyote just nodded as the duo fell to their doom. Their hilarious, hilarious doom.
1111Some time later 1111
"YES! YES! I FINALLY CAUGHT YOU!" shouted a very beaten-up and exasperated and slightly crazed Setsuna to the finally-captured Konoe-runner. " NOW O-MIAI ME!"
"Okay. Here you go." Konoemon said as he handed the valid form to Setsuna. "Now, can you please untie my legs?"
"No."
"Oh well. Please take good care of my granddaughter, then."
"I will, sir." Setsuna sighed, happy to have finally done it.
Then, all of a sudden Konoka appeared and said, "Yay! Let's get married right now, Set-chan! Then we can have hot honeymoon sex!"
"Uh, um.." Setsuna stuttered, surprised by dream Konoka's sudden appearance and embarrassed by what she said, "um…uh… alright, Kono-chan…"
1111 Later 1111
Setsuna's odd dream had now whisked her to a church. Konoka and her were being wedded, Konoka wearing a suave tuxedo and Setsuna a wedding gown.
"Odd," Setsuna thought, "I always figured I would be the one in the tuxedo if we got married."
"Konoka, do you take Setsuna to be your lawfully wedded wife?" asked dream Negi, who was playing the role of the priest.
"I do"
"And Setsuna, do you take Konoka to be your lawfully wedded… uh, wife?"
"I do"
"You, uh, may kiss now."
And they did.
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The newlyweds appeared to be in a hotel room of some sort.
"Set-chaaan" Konoka whispered seductively.
Setsuna just blushed a shade of red that would make a tomato jealous.
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As Setsuna woke from her wonderful dream, she found that it was still the middle of the night, Kaede still sleeping soundly nearby. She sat for a moment, thinking… before getting up, gathering her sheets, and heading for the nearest laundry room, being careful not to wake Kaede. Ten bucks says you guys can't guess why she was heading to the laundry room.
Meanwhile, Kaede, who hadn't really been asleep, muttered " I never thought Setsuna could've been a closet pervert. I'll bet half the academy heard her moaning in her sleep." She rolled over a bit, "Well, I guess ya learn something new every day."
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In the laundry room (which had but a single window through which a full moon shone), Setsuna was standing, pants AND pantie-less (they both got pretty stained), as she had been in a rather huge rush to get there, hoping that no one would come in as she washed her clothes and sheets. But, as it would happen,…
"Oh! Set-chan, what are you doing here?" asked Konoka, who had walked into the room with some laundry.
"K-K-Konoka-ojou-sama! I-I uh, was just washing some… uh… clothes?" the highly embarrassed and blushing samurai ventured, covering up her exposed private area. "Um… w-what are you doing here?"
"Oh, I just forgot to take care of the laundry earlier. Silly me! Hee!" Konoka replied as she put some clothes in a washer, either not noticing that Setsuna was pants and pantie-less or not caring. As she finished, she moved to stand by Setsuna.
The two stood there for a while, not saying anything, until, out of the blue…
"Hey, Set-chan, doesn't this seem kind of romantic? I mean, we're all alone in here, and that beautiful full moon is shining in through that window and all…"
"Um… I guess?" Setsuna replied, confused. She then turned to Konoka…
To find that the girl had a rather perverted look on her face.
"Set-chaaan," she whispered seductively.
"…Am I still dreaming?" Setsuna thought to herself.
Konoka, meanwhile, just licked her lips hungrily.
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And that's the end, doods! Hope you all liked it! Be sure to review, okay?