Hey guys, I'm Rose and this is my first M rated story (on this website). There isn't anything explicit in this chapter (except from swearing, but that's a given), although in the coming chapters there will be for sure. There is not going to be Eris straight away, in fact for the first couple chapters Tris will be with someone else completely, but it will be an obvious development, and there will be scenes which could be considered fluff :)
Hope you enjoy, and don't forget to drop a review!
Chapter 1
Independence
Just a year after initiation, and we are all settled in to the Dauntless lifestyle. I have a gorgeous boyfriend, a steady job, and an active social life - at least that's what I let the world believe. For the past few months, things have been going downhill, and try as I might I've settled in to a sad cycle.
A couple months back, Max offered me the opportunity to begin training to be a leader. It would require at least six months to a year of physical and work training, supervised by the newest leader, Eric. Four was very against this, he didn't want me to have to deal with Eric's cruel personality constantly, day in day out. We've begun to grow apart, this obstacle having driven a wedge in our relationship. Every other night we argue, and the ones in between are a blur of different friends' apartments.
"Tris," Four calls, appearing in the living room behind me. I have my hand on the door handle, and am about to go to Christina's to hang out for a while. "Don't you think it's about time we talk about this properly? Maturely?"
"I s'pose so." I sigh, and sit at one end of the couch. He joins me, but the distance between us is greater than ever. "I want this. I want the influence a role of Leader gives me, I want the change in routine, and I don't understand why you're so against it."
"I don't want you to be around him so much. I've been thinking about it a lot, and I'm going to take the job instead. I don't want them to keep pressuring you, and they were offering it to be for years before you even arrived." He smiles softly, and moves closer to me, hand caressing my cheek. Does he expect me to like this idea?
"I'm not a child, Tobias. I can make my own decisions, the job was offered to me, I'm going to go to Max tomorrow and talk it out, see if there's the chance I can be trained by someone other than Eric, okay? Will that satisfy your need to coddle me?" He moves away, frowning at me strongly.
"I'm not coddling you, I just don't want you to do anything you don't want to out of pressure by the Leaders." I stand up, and he stands up too.
"I told Christina I was going round hers. Can we just talk about this tomorrow?" I smile falsely at him, and he nods, putting his hands on my waist and pulling me close to him.
"What time are you going to be back?" He murmurs, kissing my neck. I feel nothing.
"Probably pretty late, I have a shift from 9 until 11, but I also have to close up." I push him back slightly and grab a jacket off of the hook. He nods, understanding that I have to work late.
"Okay." He turns and goes back into the kitchen, without so much as a 'goodbye' or a 'love you'. But that's okay - I haven't said it to him in weeks either.
I head round to Christina's, her apartment is right by the Pit and is fairly small, but she's managed to decorate it beautifully - what with being the shopping addict that she is.
She had chosen to work in one of the clothing stores in the Pit, and her enthusiasm and knowledge had aided her in quickly rising to the top of the management team. I go to the store she works in (which is next door to Tori's tattoo parlor, where I work), and instantly go over to where she is stood at the counter and bang my head onto the wood. I groan and she laughs at my miserable display.
"You guys have another fight?" She rubs my arm comfortingly, and I nod.
"He offered to take the job for me. How condescending is that! Like, I'm not overreacting am I? That isn't the right thing he should have offered, is it?" I ramble on, as I usually do.
"Sweetie," She stops me mid-rant, touching my arm causing me to look up at her. "You need to go and talk to him. You need to either break up, or fix the problems, cause I can't keep having these conversations with you. You have two hours before you're working, go and talk," she wiggles her eyebrows, "Or other things."
"Christina!" I laugh, and hug her, stepping back as a customer comes over to pay. "Thank you." I smile at her, and head out.
I know I have to talk to him. I don't want it to end, I feel like we can make this work. We're Tobias and Tris for God's sake, we can get through this, we can get through anything. All we need to do is be open, and honest. I'm going to tell him exactly what I want, and then we'll kiss, and go to work, and wake up in the morning and eat breakfast, and it'll be like before this whole leadership opportunity arose, we'll be happy and content.
As I walk through the corridor to my door, I spot Eric, walking out of his apartment a few doors down. I smile at him a little, opening the door of mine, only to be face-to-face with an unexpected guest.
"Oh my GOD, Four! Fuck, just like that!"
"Fuck I love you so much!"
I drop my bags, and stumble back in shock. There, on our kitchen table. In our apartment. Saying he loves her. The tears well in my eyes, and I spin around, slamming into Eric as he's walking past. He begins to scowl, then sees the tears running down my face, hears the moans from my apartment. He grabs my bags off of the floor, somehow we are still unnoticed by Four and his 'friend', and slams the door shut. He pulls me in close, and I break down.
I can't help it, I know it's Eric but right now I don't care.
"It hurts so much." I sob, clutching both my chest and the front of his t-shirt.
"I know." He holds me close for a while, then begins to pull me along, keeping one arm around me as I keep my head buried in his shoulder. Eventually we are stood outside the clothing store again, and he takes my head in his hands, my bags at our feet.
"Breathe, Stiff. Shh, listen to my heartbeat, and breathe." I do as he says, and slowly begin to calm down, and he pulls me against his chest once more. He is making faces behind my back, through the glass door of the shop, presumably at Christina. She runs out, and envelopes me in a hug, and Eric must've left because I don't see him again.
"Honey, you have to tell me what happened," Christina coos, and I try and explain.
"Four, on the table, he said he loved her! I don't understand..." I sob hysterically, and people walking by are giving us weird looks.
"He never deserved you, you know that. He is just a pig. Now come on, I'm taking you back to my place, you can stay with me for as long as you need to." She motions to one of her co-workers that she'll be right back, and picks up my bags. I shake my head at her.
"I have to go to work. I'm not going to let him ruin my life." I say, and she frowns at me, but nods nevertheless. I stare blankly on as she wipes my tears away, and applies a little concealer to hide the redness around my eyes and nose. She brushes my hair, and fixes my jacket. Mothering me until when I smile fakely you don't notice there's anything wrong. I hug her one last time, before collecting my things and making m way next door to Tori's, and sit down at my station.
People come in, and I serve them, numbly making small talk and carving the marks into their skin. Tori knows there's something wrong, but decides against questioning me for the time being.
When the clock strikes 11 I rise immediately, locking up shop (Tori and Bud left an hour ago, so I was working the late shift alone), and head to Christina's.
"Let's go out." I say, as I walk in. "You're right, he never did deserve me, I don't need him to be strong."
"So why do you wanna go out?" She asks, knowing that when it comes to parties I'm never exactly a willing participant.
"Because I need some fun right now." I say, and she smiles evilly at me.
"Okay, but I get to dress you up." I groan in reply, but by this point I know that fighting it is futile.
An hour later I am dressed in a dark red skater dress, with some ankle boots and a thick corset belt. The dress is pretty low cut on me, and my fairly large boobs are much bigger than Christina's, making the dress which would looks pretty classy on Christina look almost slutty on me. It's not too short, but I still wear semi-transparent knee high socks with it, to cover my legs a little. I don't know where Christina plans on taking me, but I don't really care right now.
Being with Tobias has made me realize, that since Abnegation I haven't really changed much. I'm still small, and innocent, and he was trying to keep me that way, so that I'd always need him. But I'm not Abnegation, and I don't want to act that way anymore. I want to be wild, and I want to have an influence over the way Dauntless is run, because i am a part of Dauntless.
"Where exactly are we going, Chris?" I laugh as she walks down corridors, pulling me with her and chatting about how much better I am than Four.
"Zeke is having a party, a big one. I was going to drag you along but then you came in earlier and I thought I'd leave you alone tonight. Turns out we're going after all." She grins at me, and I wrap my arm around her waist, hugging her as we walk. We pass a couple of drunk guys, stumbling down the hallway and they wolf whistle at us. Feeling a little adventurous, I wink at them, and Christina laughs, shocked. "Damn Tris, you weren't kidding when you said you wanted to have fun."
"I feel like I've just been playing Dauntless up until now, and it was him holding me back. But I want to be more Dauntless from now on."
"And how do you plan on doing that?"
"I want to get drunk, have one-night stands, do crazy reckless things and party like there's no tomorrow." I grin wildly at her as we fling open the door of Zeke's apartment. It is full of people, most either drunk and stumbling, or sober and looking after some drunk person.
"Well my dear, that can be arranged." I am pulled behind her as we dive into the crowd of dancing people, she disappears for a moment, reappearing with a beer in her hand. She hands me a abottle, and I chug down half of it, before jumping up and down with the rest of the crowd.
Drink after drink, I dance with anybody and everybody, living in this moment right now, not thinking about him and what will happen tomorrow.
The music is blasting, and we've been here maybe an hour or two. I have had a few drinks, everything is fuzzy and I'm slightly wobbly on my feet, but I am in the middle of the dance floor dancing with some guy whose name I forgot the moment he told me. He kisses down my neck, and I run my hands up and down his back and I move my body in time with the music. I spot eyes on me, and look around. I lock eyes with Eric, who is stood against the wall beside the kitchen door, a drink in his hand. I push the guy off of me and make my way over to him, forcing my way through the crowd.
"Well you certainly look happier." He says, smirking, as I approach him.
"I am," I shout over the music, even through I am right next to him. "I realized," My words a little slurred as I lean against the wall and throw back the last of my drink, "that I don't need him. He was holding me back, making me be all..." I scrunch my nose, trying to find the right word.
"Abnegation?" Eric offers, leaning closer so he doesn't have to shout.
"Exactly, making me be all Abnegation." I grin at him, "I'm going to take the Leadership job, if the offer still stands?"
"It does, Max is very enthusiastic about you joining us, even more so than he was about Four." The smile on my face drops when is name is mentioned, and I sober up a bit. However, I am saved from the conversation by Zeke.
"If I don't know you personally, or you're too drunk to understand what I'm saying, get the fuck out." Zeke shouts, turning off the music. Soon, the apartment is nearly empty, and Eric goes to leave but I stop him.
"Stay, play some games with us. It'll be fuuun," I say, singing the last word to convince him. He rolls his eyes, but stays.
"It's Spin the Bottle time, baby!" Uriah shouts, and I cheer, throwing my arm around his waist as he throws his arm around Marlene and I. Eric is left following us down to the circle we make on the floor. "Would you care to do the honors, Tris?"
"It would be a privilege," I smile at him, and he hands me his drink, of which he is way too drunk to finish. I down it, cringing at the horrid taste, and place the bottle in the middle of the circle. It is only now that I realize Four is here, sat a few people away from me. He is staring right at me, and I smile at him, allowing him to believe that I didn't see anything, that we are fine. Eric sits beside me, and throws me a confused look, but i just raise my eyebrow at him and chuckle.
"I'll go first, it seems." Uriah grins, spinning the bottle. It lands on Marlene, and he has no issue with kissing her deeply. We go around the circle, and I'm next. I lean forward to spin the bottle, and it points towards Al. I know he's always had a crush on me, so I decide to let him have this one. I go over to him, and kiss him on the lips, then return to my seat. Everyone looks quite shocked, and Four has a hurt look in his eye, but I ignore them and continue the game. I grab another beer from the cooler in the kitchen, and when I sit down everyone is watching the bottle Eric just spun. It lands on me and I turn to him. He
grabs the back of my neck and pulls my lips towards his. I kiss him deeply, slightly longer than I did Al, then pull away. They continue around the circle, but I stand up and head to the kitchen to grab another beer, grabbing a few extra just so nobody else has to get up.
Turning around, Tobias is stood in the doorway, looking mad and hurt.
"What the fuck Tris, you didn't even look at me or hesitate." His words sting, but I stand my ground.
"Yeah well you didn't seem to hesitate when you fucked some whore on our kitchen table, Tobias." I practically shout it at him, and he stares, not realizing I knew. Yeah well, I do. The whole apartment is silent, and I realize that everybody else heard us, and I shove past him and take my seat in the circle.
"Four, is it true?" Zeke stands up, nostrils flaring. Four says nothing, but the look in his eyes confirms it all. Zeke punches him straight in the face, causing him to stumble back, nose bleeding.
"Uh, I'm gonna head out guys, this party's kinda dead." I say, standing up awkwardly. They agree, and everyone leaves slowly. I end up in the Pit, leaning against the railing of the Chasm. I stare into it, thinking about what my life might be like if I'd never met Tobias. If he'd done his job and just treated me like any other initiate. But that doesn't matter now. Christina appears beside me, smiling softly.
"We should go in, tomorrow is gonna suck as is," She takes my hand, and we stumble on wobbly legs towards her apartment, and I notice Eric turning to go up the stairs towards his. I wave a little, and he shakes his head, smirking.
Tomorrow, I begin my Leader training.