Title: What I really meant to say!
Disclaimer: All the characters in the movie belong to Baz from the Moulin Rouge. The song 'What I really meant to say.' Is by Cyndi Thompson.
Dedication: To chapter 28 on my DVD, who never complained when it saw Satine dump Christian for the 90th time in order to get my story perfect.
"I'm staying with the Duke."
It took me by surprise,
When I saw you standing there.
"What?" He asked, not beliving what he was hearing.
Close enough to touch,
Breathing the same air.
Oh how she wanted to reach out and stroke him, to have his arms surround her and tell her stories about how the would escape somewhere and live happily ever after. But that's all they were, stories. This was real life, the show must go on.
You asked me how I'd been
I guess that's when
I smiled and said just fine
"After I left you, the Duke came to see me… and he offered me everything. Everything that I've ever dreamed of. He has one condition, I must never see you again. I'm sorry."
Oh but baby I was lying.
"What are you talking about?" He cried.
"You knew who I was." She said, trying to keep a straight face.
What I really meant to say,
Is I'm dying here inside.
"What about last night, what we said!"
"I don't expect you to understand. The difference between you and I is that you can leave anytime you choose. But this is my home. The Moulin Rouge is my home."
I miss you more each day,
There's not a night I haven't cried.
"No! There must be something else. This can't be real! There's something the matter. Tell me what it is. Tell me what's wrong. Tell me the truth!" He grabbed her arms and swung her around to face him, his eyes searching hers, but seeing nothing. "Tell me the truth!"
And baby here's the truth
"The truth? The truth is I am the Hindu courtesan, and I choose the maharaja."
I'm still in love with you
It's what I really meant to say.
And she walked away, leaving Christian in agony, dealing with pain that he never knew existed.
"Satine!" He called. He came to her, willing to forgive everything she had said in order to be together. He never left her, never could. "Satine!" His voice held more sadness then ever thought possible.
He left eventually, his heart in two, not knowing her's was aching too.
And as you walked away
The echo of my words
Cut just like a knife
Cut so deep it hurt.
Christian." She screamed, the strength she once had dissolved in her turmoil. He was walking forever away from her.
I held back the tears
Held onto my pride
And watched you go
"Come back!" She whispered. "Come back Christian. I love you."
I wonder if you'll ever know.
Somehow her fingers found his coat. She never gave it back to him. She held it to her chest, smelling him on every square inch of the fabric.
What I really meant to say
Is I'm really not that strong
No matter how I try,
I'm still holding on.
It was over. In one single night, all the secrets that they shared over the morning's breakfasts, all the smiles and confessions of love were wiped away from memory with a simple lie.
And here's the honest truth,
I'm still in love with you.
She sighed and sang, "That's what I really meant to say."