You wanted it – you get it. It features the song "If Tomorrow Never Comes" by Ronan Keating – a song that I always thought I couldn't use because the story it tells doesn't go with a relationship that didn't even start yet (which is my preferred StellaMac plot). And then I thought 'what if I just change the meaning?' – and suddenly it worked…

Consider it a little treat and goodie for you great reviewers who are so patiently waiting for them to get together in "If Love Would Be Easy…" (if you didn't read that one yet, what are you waiting for?? #gg#) – it's a little "StellaMacNugget" if you want ;-)

This story is rather short and therefore more intense – it is very emotional and… Get out your hankies and read :-)

Disclaimer All the original characters belong to their owners - except for Mac. Mac belongs to Stella

-


Chapter 1

It was Thursday and so far nothing indicated that it would be different from any other Thursday. The only exception to being completely routine was that she was assigned to the late shift for one week, but this was nothing special. Every once in a while the teams would switch shifts for a week or two.

Stella was just about to get ready for work when she heard noise from the corridor. Something was rumbling in front of her apartment door. She left the kitchen and went to the door.

This building definitely needs a doorman, I wonder if that's some homeless guy or just one of those freaky kids again. Guess I better go and check it out before I leave…

She peeked through the spy hole and slightly cringed.

What the hell…

She shook her head and opened the door. Mac, who was just trying to balance himself by leaning against it, practically stumbled right into her arms. Stella tried to keep him from falling by grabbing for the doorframe. After a short struggle, she managed to get him inside and close the door behind him.

"What… Mac, what are you doing here and please don't tell me you drove here yourself…" she asked bewildered and concerned after a closer look at his appearance.

He was drunk. Definitely drunk. All the years that they had known each other, she never saw him drinking anything else than an occasional beer. And the bottle of whiskey in his hand was almost half empty.

This wasn't good at all.

And besides – their shift was about to start in a little over an hour. No way that he would be able to make it to work in this state…

"Come here, sit down," she ordered him and pushed him onto a chair at the kitchen table while taking the bottle from him.

Then she prepared a glass of water and returned after getting two Aspirins from the medicine cabinet in her bathroom.

"Take these!"

You're sure gonna need them…

She watched him as he obediently swallowed the pills. He was sitting there like the picture of misery. She knew she had to do something, but she also had to go to work. And since Mac was clearly unable to go, she had to find an excuse for that as well.

"Look, Mac, I really need to go to work now, but I promise – I will be back as soon as I can. I just need to…"

… find a good explanation why you won't show up at work and I at the same time leave early…

He grabbed her arm and looked up at her pleadingly.

"Don't leave… Please! Everyone is leaving me, I don't wanna be alone. Can't you just stay with me??" he whined.

Stella sighed. Alcohol certainly wasn't good if someone wasn't used to it.

"Come on, you should get some sleep," she announced, ignoring his babbling.

After a quick look into her living room she figured that the couch wouldn't be a good place for him right now. One uncoordinated move and he would fall off and probably hurt his head at the coffee table or worse. She carefully helped him up and tried to conduct him towards the bedroom door.

"Where are we going?" he mumbled while steadying himself by leaning against her.

"You are going to bed, I am going to work!" Stella firmly announced.

She successfully managed to get him into her bed and pulled the comforter over him after taking his shoes off. Despite her worries that it might take longer to convince him to stay, he dozed off immediately.

Phew, that could have been worse… Maybe I'm lucky enough that he just sleeps through until I get back.

Stella returned to the kitchen and wrote a short note for him in case he woke up before she got back home. Then she turned to leave. At the door she remembered something and quickly headed back to the kitchen.

"And Jack Daniels is coming with me!" she determined and grabbed the bottle that she had left on the kitchen counter earlier.

I better put this in the dumpster downstairs, who knows what will happen if those two guys have another encounter while I'm gone…

XXXXX

"Hey Stella, there you are finally!" Danny announced when she arrived at the lab.

Ten minutes late, no big deal…

Normally she would have been in half an hour before the shift started, but ten minutes shouldn't be such a problem. Especially since the boss was sleeping off in her bed right now…

"What's the rush? Anything happened?" she wondered.

"Have you seen Mac? Everyone's looking for him… ME wanted to update him on results from a case he works on, DA called three times to fix a time for a meeting, HR needs information regarding personnel files and …" he paused.

Stella rolled her eyes.

Why in God's name did something like this have to happen exactly the day where Mac wasn't here? Sounds almost as if I'm gonna have to spend a little more time covering here than I thought…

"Mac won't come in today. He … went over to Jersey to interview a witness and asked me to meet him there. Traffic is a bitch today, so it wouldn't have made sense to come in and pick me up here. I will take care of the other stuff and then clock out, you can reach me on my cell the rest of the night, okay?"

"Sure, whatever…" Danny shrugged and left her alone.

"Okay, that one was easy," Stella mumbled to herself. "Now on to the next one…"

XXXXX

Five hours later, Stella sat back in her chair and took a deep breath.

Okay, let's see if we got everything… I talked to the ME about Mac's case and finished working on the evidence, I called the DA and arranged for a meeting with Mac and I finished the personnel files and had them sent over to Human Resources for a review. And last but not least, I processed the scene of a traffic accident with Lindsay which turned out to be an attempted suicide.

Five hours and only half the shift was over. Stella looked at her watch and then out through the glass doors of her office. Everything was quiet now, so she figured it would be a good time to sneak out and find out what was going on with Mac.

Danny and Lindsay would know where to find her and besides she had told Danny earlier that she would have to meet Mac somewhere. He didn't have to know it was her apartment, not Jersey. And the fact that she had told him this five hours ago and he wasn't wondering that she was still at the lab and that it wouldn't make any sense to interview a witness now in the middle of the night – just good for her, no need for further excuses.

XXXXX

Back home, Stella quietly walked over to her bedroom. When she noticed that Mac was still sleeping, she headed to the bathroom and took a quick shower. She heard the bedroom door when she was preparing dinner in the kitchen afterwards.

Moments later, Mac showed up in the open door.

"Hey there, feeling any better?" she softly asked him.

He didn't reply, just silently took a seat at the table. His lips pressed together, he looked down at the table in front of him, unable to look her in the eyes. Stella turned the gas off and walked over to him. She pulled another chair next to his and sat down, putting her right arm around his shoulders.

"Wanna talk about it?" she gave him an encouraging smile.

He looked up, his gaze locked with hers for a moment. He tried to fight the tears that started filling his eyes. Stella took his left hand into hers and softly pressed it.

"I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have…" he started.

She quickly pressed a finger on his lips.

"Sh-sh, don't. It's okay, just tell me if you want to talk and if not, it's okay. We can eat a little and talk later. Or not talk at all if you don't feel like it. It's just gonna be okay. You know that I'm there for you if you need me."

He blinked briefly and nodded.

"Yesterday there was a report about an attack against a military base in Afghanistan on the news. Just like any other day all the time. Another attack, again some US soldiers killed. Only this time…" Mac's voice started shaking a little. He cleared his throat before continuing.

"This morning I got a call from a guy who served in the same unit with me at the Marines, he's at the Pentagon now. One of the guys who got killed yesterday was once my best buddy…"

"Mac, I'm so sorry…" Stella gently stroked the back of his hand.

"You know, we did everything together. We went to college together, we joined the Marines together, we fought together in Beirut and other places. He was a Marine with all his heart and we always wanted to serve our country together…"

"What happened?"

"On one of our trips back home, I met Claire. After that, things weren't the same anymore. I wanted to be back home when we were out on a mission and she was worried when I was away for so long. So I quit the Marines and joined the police force instead. He never understood it. We kept in touch, but it wasn't the same anymore. And now he has died in the line of duty… I know this is stupid, but I feel guilty, responsible and apart from that…"

"Mac," Stella interrupted him, firmly holding his hand. "This is not your fault, it was his decision to be a soldier, just as it is for each of the guys who are out there somewhere to serve our country. You can't blame yourself for his death just because you decided to go another way in your life."

"I know," he sighed. "It's just not only that…"

Stella waited for him to go on, but he wouldn't. She knew she couldn't push him, Mac wasn't the kind of person who responded to that. She would have to wait until he was ready to open up on his own.

"We should get a little to eat now, both of us," she ordered and got up to get the food she had prepared on the table.

They ate in silence and Stella noticed that he slowly started to relax when they started watching some TV after dinner. Both of them enjoyed the physical proximity without speaking it out loud. Stella instinctively snuggled up closer to him when he gently put his arm around her shoulders. Neither of them really followed the program on the screen, both kept following their own thoughts – until the sound of Stella's cell phone interrupted the silence.

"Crap…" she mumbled while she reluctantly parted from his semi-embrace.

"Danny… Yeah, what is it? … Okay, I'm on my way, I'll meet you there," she said and turned around.

"I'm sorry, Mac. I'm gonna have to leave, they need me at a crime scene and technically I'm on call now."

"Want me to come with you?" he asked.

"Certainly not. I don't wanna patronize you, but you shouldn't be going anywhere today. Nobody needs to know what happened today, I told them you wouldn't be in today, that we would meet for interviewing a witness in Jersey. It's no problem, I can handle that alone. Just need to supervise, check things out. The others can do the rest. Will you be okay alone for a while? I should be back soon."

"Stella?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I … I mean, can I stay here tonight? I mean, I don't want to, you know …" he struggled.

"You shouldn't be alone tonight, of course you stay here," she determined. "You can have the bed, I don't know when I'll be back. I'll sleep on the couch then. Just make yourself comfortable."

"But I can't sleep in your bed…" he weakly objected.

"I don't wanna intimidate you," she grinned. "But you already did sleep in my bed today, so just go back there. It's okay, Mac. See you later!"

She pressed a light kiss on his cheek to show him there was no reason to worry and turned to leave before he could object any further.

Mac took a deep breath and tried to figure if he should go on watching TV or go back to bed and get some more sleep. He was definitely struggling with a severe hangover and sleep might be the best solution to deal with it. Just that this time, he was very well aware that it would be her bed he would lie in…

TBC

-

Liked it? Wanna have the rest, too??? Then please review and let me know! ;-)

xxxlittlesheepxxx