Author: Regency
Title: Domestic Disharmony
Pairing: Bernie Wolfe/Serena Campbell
Summary: AU. Bernie's wife is in a foul mood about something and it's up to her to find out what it is and if she can, make all well again. #ElinorLives
Prompt: Drabble challenge - Berena - "Don't touch me. We're fighting." [This is a 100 x 21 drabble. Oops.]
Author's Notes: Come squee about Berena with me on Tumblr at sententiousandbellicose!
Disclaimer: I don't own any characters, settings, or stories recognizable as being from Holby City. They are the property of their actors, producers, writers, and studios, not me. No copyright infringement was intended and no money was made in the writing or distribution of this story. It was good, clean fun.
Serena's silent fury is worse than any tirade and Bernie doesn't even know what she's done to warrant it. Serena doesn't say a word to her on the drive back from Edward and Liberty's house. They've just dropped off their granddaughter Tessa for the night and Bernie was looking forward to a romantic evening with her wife—emphasis on was. All of Bernie's attempts to strike up a conversation are quelled with a poisonous look till finally she gives up. Not a very romantic start to their night.
Bernie's barely brought the car to a stop before Serena's out and stalking toward the front door. She's already shed her coat and poured her wine by the time Bernie's caught up with her in the kitchen. Serena's left a glass out for Bernie.
Bernie leaves coat and scarf over the counter and ignores the wine. It's far more Serena's comfort vice than hers.
"What's up with you? You've been like a bear with a sore head since we left earlier."
Serena glowers over her Shiraz. "What's up with me? You can't guess?"
Bernie has never claimed to be an expert at love or relationships; she is, however, very well versed in her wife.
"I can guess I'm on your shit list for some reason. Not sure how I managed that in the last two hours. If perhaps you'd care to enlighten me, Mrs. Wolfe…"
Serena cracks a reflexive smile; calling her that always softens her a tad. Her wife, a regular romantic.
Bernie gathers Serena into her arms despite her chilly demeanor, softening Serena even further. Serena rubs her nose into the side of Bernie's neck, her arms snug around Bernie's waist. "Don't touch me. We're fighting."
Neither of them are quick to let go.
"We aren't. I refuse to fight over anything to do with Edward Bloody Campbell in this year, 2019. Tell me what's wrong?" She pulls back to keep Serena from hiding her face and the real reason for her irritation. "It is to do with him, isn't it?"
Serena eases out of her embrace to top off her wine, conveniently putting the counter and half the kitchen between them. Typical Serena, using proximity to express emotion and distance to conceal it.
"Serena."
Serena avoids the best of Bernie's attempts to make eye contact and the silence stretches beyond the point of awkwardness for strangers, much less an otherwise happily married couple.
Serena's shoulders rise and sink on a sigh. "I…Bernie, you took his side." There isn't any need to question who.
"In what universe?"
"This universe!" Bernie only has to take in the betrayal written on Serena's face to know she truly believes what she's saying.
"I didn't mean any harm, Serena."
"That's how it always starts."
"I see."
Serena huffs and turns her back to stare out the kitchen window, hugging herself. "You should have consulted me before agreeing to let Tessa stay the night at Edward and Liberty's. It shouldn't have been a surprise to me."
"It was meant to be a surprise—for you." Bernie has to brace herself on the kitchen table. This is a real fight now and not one she thought they'd ever be having. "The only side I took was in thinking you'd be happy for us to have the house to ourselves for a night. I didn't realize I was overstepping my bounds as step-grandmother. Had I realized there were rules, I would have asked you."
Serena growls, "Don't be daft, there aren't any rules!"
"Wouldn't know that the way you're acting." Bernie drains her glass; she's going to need the buzz if this fight is going to continue. "I overstepped, I won't forget next time. Are we done with this?" Bernie would very much like to be done with all of this.
Serena cops to Bernie's distant tone. "You—no, we aren't done. There are no rules, not about that. You're as much Tessa's grandmother as I am. This isn't–Edward should have come to me. Me. We've talked about him keeping Tessa and why it isn't a good idea. He circumvented me for a reason, because he knew I would refuse."
"This is the first I'm hearing about it." She squints at her wife's agitated mien. Serena and Edward have worked hard to be good co-grandparents irrespective of their fraught history; this is the first pratfall…that Bernie knows about.
"Have you two had another row? Is that what this is all about? You think he told me and I took his side?" The idea is so ridiculous Bernie has to laugh. It's laughable. She loathes Edward on principle for his treatment of Serena and from experience because he's a stereotypical snake oil salesman. "I would never take his side. Had I realized this was a real point of contention, I'd have come up with another plan to get you alone. It's you for me, first, last, and always. To hell with Edward." She is going to give the man such a piece of her mind for taking advantage of her ignorance to get in a dig at Serena.
Serena fingers her necklace till Bernie comes round to give her a hand to hold instead, and they lace their fingers fast.
Serena grimaces in her embarrassment. "You must think I'm a fool to keep letting him get to me after all these years." Bernie thinks Edward is the only fool involved in this situation.
"You were married and you shared a life; all the intimate knowledge that comes with that doesn't disappear with a decree absolute. Why do you think Marcus can still catch me unawares with a pointed barb when he gets in a mood? He knows where I'm vulnerable and I know him just as well. That's marriage."
"Knowing each other's soft spots?"
"Knowing where you're both tender so you can protect each other. I think that's how it's meant to work." She rubs her shoulder against Serena's. "But I can't protect you if I don't know. I can't have your back when I don't know you need it, Serena."
"The poster child for reserve is telling me to be more open. We've got this the wrong way round."
Bernie waits out Serena's instinct to deflect attention from what hurts. She'd have run rather than do this two years back.
"I…I worry that he'll teach Tessa to hate me like he taught Elinor to resent me."
Bernie hums encouragingly. She knows pain of being made her children's adversary; she wouldn't wish that on Serena who loves Tessa no less than she's ever loved Elinor or Jason, or even Bernie's own two.
"I don't think I could bear it, Bernie. It took a near-death experience to get Elinor to see that I've only ever wanted the best for her. I can't wait another twenty-two years to get this one to love me again."
"You won't have to have to wait that long. Serena, Tessa's eight months. She loves her Gran and she loves her Nan, and not even the devil himself or his henchman Edward could spoil that."
"Would you stake your life on that?"
"I'd rather not, but if it came to it…."
Serena's answering smile is feeble.
"She's going to have us there every step of the way. No matter what he tells her about you, we'll be there to show her he's wrong. She'll grow up knowing she's the most loved little girl in Holby, not the least by her Gran."
"You're right. I know you're right. I guess I just panicked because I could see history repeating right before my eyes: one day, Ellie and I were thick as thieves, and the next she was regurgitating all his complaints from our marriage. Never available. Too busy. Too tired when available. Putting career before family like she didn't matter. He was written all over it, but how could I begin to counteract that when there was a ring of truth in it? I don't want that to be me anymore."
"It isn't. Take it from a mother who got the absentee edit in the divorce and for years afterward. Children who are loved remember; it just takes time.
"There's never enough time."
Bernie hugs Serena. "We'll make time."
"We will, provided I haven't driven you away with my neurotic need for control in all aspects of my life." Though it nearly proved to be their undoing during Bernie's brief sojourn in Sudan, they'd come through it stronger.
"That's nothing new; I married you knowing what I was getting myself into. It's sort of a relief to know one of us has got it together when I haven't entirely mastered the hairbrush." The digression works and Serena parts from her to paw lovingly at Bernie's hair.
"I happen to love your bird's nest. I'll thank you to leave the good-natured insults to me." Serena makes a handsy attempt at smoothing Bernie's flyaway hair into place. Bernie isn't fussed about her hair but far be it for her to turn down a scalp massage from her wife. There's a thought that won't lose potency with age: Serena, her wife. Her partner, in work and in life. Her best friend.
"I love you." She finds that easier and easier to say when it brings happy color to Serena's cheeks.
"Even when I'm angry for no reason?"
"Even when you're bloody furious for absolutely no reason."
"Why?"
And here it is, the part Bernie's always struggled with. She shan't struggle now. "Because you poured me a drink even when you were upset with me. Because you light up when I call you Mrs. Wolfe. Because the thought that I might not believe in you ran you through. I'd feel the same way if I thought you had more faith in Marcus than me."
"So you're saying you love me because we're equally ridiculous."
"I'd call that a fair translation."
"Cheeky. In that case, I love you, too."
Serena kisses Bernie with textbook love and affection. Textbook in that Bernie has come to rely on it; there's nothing boring about kissing her wife. Kissing Serena makes her giddy inside. Kissing Serena after a row makes her giddy all over. They tangle their arms around each other and kiss until they found they're smiling too much to go on. Serena's eyes, though sheepish, have regained their abiding warmth. There was a time, when Elinor's life hung in the balance two years ago, that Bernie worried she might never see that again. Bernie kisses Serena once more to count her blessings.
Serena untucks Bernie's shirt from her trousers to get her hands on Bernie's skin as their lips slide together. Her hands stroke up Bernie's sides and back, leaving a trail of goose pimples in their wake and wracking Bernie with shivers. This was what Bernie had planned for tonight. Takeaway, a hot bubble bath, and this–minus the infant for a constant distraction. Best laid plans and all that…
Serena is tracing the shell of Bernie's ear with her tongue when something occurs to her. "Now that I've had some time to think about it, what was your real reason for trying to get me alone tonight?"
"Real reason?" Bernie's reasons for wanting Serena alone are the same they've been since their first kiss in theater three years past. She wants Serena in each and every way she can have her.
"Mmhm. You rather gave yourself up there."
Bernie makes like she has to think it over. "Erm."
Serena goes lovingly stern at Bernie's stalling. "Out with it, soldier."
"In the interest of domestic harmony…"
"Domestic harmony? That's what we're going with?"
Bernie gives her backside a playful swat and continues as though she hasn't heard, "I missed having you all to myself. We've been looking after Tessa since Elinor showed up with the baby on her hip and I don't regret that, I love them both, but…I suppose I expected to be spending our first years as a married couple with it only being the two of us, especially once Jason made the move to Alan's permanent." She watches Serena to see how she takes the mention of her nephew. They still see him often, but the arrival of Elinor and her daughter in addition to Bernie and Serena's cohabitation and subsequent marriage had proved too much change too quickly for their surrogate son.
Serena smiles to let Bernie know it's all right. "No Empty Nest Syndrome for Lieutenant-Colonel Wolfe?"
"Not with you in it. It's just full enough with us together."
Serena kisses her soundly. "Good answer, darling."