This is what I think Charlie was thinking during greatest hits and im gonna do the season finale also
Disclaimer: don't own lost :(
"This time Charlie, you have to die" Desmond said to him. Charlie stared at Desmond as the slow realization hit…
If I don't die…Claire and Aaron won't get off the island... and the minute he realized that was when he realized that he wouldn't and couldn't try and stop it. He was going to face his death willingly. He was going to die so that Claire could get off the island.
Later he walked back over to Claire's tent.
He had just volunteered to swim down into the hatch and flick the switch unjamming signals sent off the island.
But now he gave Claire his best fake smile
"Need some help?" She looked at him with a frown
"Why didn't you tell me you were gonna do this?" She demanded. He sighed and sat down next to her. At least at this part he could be honest, he hated lying to her
"I didn't want you to worry" He said
"It's dangerous isn't it? Swimming into some underwater station" he nearly flinched, knowing how on the mark she was but he stopped himself
"It's what needs to be done to get us all rescued"
That's a bit of truth
"I'll be fine Claire"
Lie…I'm such a bloody liar
"But you've gotta promise me something, while I'm gone don't worry about me" His expression was dead serious as he looked deeply into her eyes
Now would be the time to tell you how much I love you Claire…But I can't
"Ok" she looked down for a moment and then made eye contact again
God I'm going to miss those eyes…He thought with the heaviest wave of grief as he looked at her. Just then the baby began to cry
"I'll take him" Charlie said
And another goodbye…
"Thanks" She said quietly. He took the baby and smiled down at him, Claire smiled too as Charlie stood and walked to his crib
"All right turnip head" He whispered to him as he set him down into the crib
"You take care of your mom while I'm away ok" He bent down over the crib and let Aaron reach up and touch his face with his tiny hands. Charlie stood there feeling his heart break as he stared at the baby that he had grown to love.
"I love you" it took all his will power not to cry as he turned away from the crib and faced Claire, to say goodbye.
He sat down in front of Claire and smiled genuinely thinking of how much he loved her and all the good times they had together…and the smile faltered as he realized there would be no more after this. He quickly looked down to hide his expression and nodded.
"See you soon"
Lie
Claire nodded and paused her folding clothes. She looked down as if trying to think of what to say
"Be careful Charlie k?"
I wish I could
"Yea"
I'm such a liar…and I lie to the people I love the most…
He wanted to say it…right then…all he wanted to say was
'Claire I love you'
If he could say those four words he could die with a little peace knowing that she knew that…but he looked up at her, and when she looked up at him...he knew he couldn't say it…instead he leaned forward and kissed her hoping to let his lips convey what he could not.
As they parted all he could think was
This is it, last kiss, last look, this is the last everything
Then she smiled at him and he knew he was doing the right thing no matter how much it hurt him…and he smiled back, a real smile. Then he stood up and walked away
Goodbye Claire
Even though he was doing the right thing…it hurt so badly. He could feel his heart splintering as he began to push the boat out to sea with Desmond.
"Hey! Hey wait!" It was Hurley running over.
"What is it?" Charlie demanded
"I heard, I heard what your doing I want to come with"
You can't come this is a suicide mission… he thought meanwhile Hurley plowed on
"everyone… they're going to the radio tower…and I'm sick of trekking, and you know…explosions and…. I think I could help you guys out…" Charlie thought his heart couldn't break anymore but he wrong again, as he stood and watched the guy who had become his best friend try to come up with a reason to join them
"And I'm a really good paddler" he offered lamely. Charlie looked down sadly
"You can't go Hurley" He told him
"Why not?" Hurley asked
"Because…"
What am I going to tell him? He thought as he glanced at the boat and a horrible inspiration struck him
"Your to big, you wont fit in the boat!" Charlie burst out and then immediately regretted it seeing Hurley's wounded expression
"That's not cool man" he said as he turned to go
I can't let it end on bad terms…
"Wait, wait, wait!" he called out as he ran over to Hurley and wrapped his arms around him.
"Dude its fine I don't even want to go in your stupid boat" Hurley muttered and Charlie couldn't help but smile
"Catch up with you later," Charlie held him at arms length
"Just know that I love you" He said
God I'm going to miss you
"Yea whatever I love you too" Hurley muttered as he walked away and Charlie watched him go with a sad smile
He then helped Desmond push the boat into the water, and pull it towards their destination. All Charlie could think was: this is the end, this is it
"We're here" Desmond's voice shook him out of his reverie. He had been writing down his five best moments. It was all he could think of to give to Claire, his last words to her. He only hoped it would mean something to her, and maybe ease the pain he would cause her. And tell her how much he loved her
After all, the best moment of his life was meeting her.
"I want you to give this to Claire for me" He said to Desmond handing him the paper
"What is it?" Desmond asked
"It's the five best moments…of my sorry excuse for a life"
Don't you dare cry Charlie he said to himself
"…my greatest hits" He finished with an attempt at a smile…but the smile didn't work and he realized the last person he would ever talk to was sitting with him now.
"You know memories are all I've got?" Desmond seemed to be taking it all in and finally he said
"You don't have to do this Charlie"
"What?" That had gotten his attention
"I'll go" Desmond said simply
"No your…flashes" Charlie said feebly
"Maybe I keep seeing you die because…I'm supposed to take your place" that hit him for a six.
Desmond is going to die for me? What? That cant happen it wont work! And then there's…
"What about your girl…Penny"
"What about your girl?" he asked, and seeing His hesitation Desmond handed him back the note
"Keep your memories to yourself…I'll take it from here"
"I don't know what to say"
Yes I do! I'm the one who is supposed to die…nobody can change that…isf he died…I would still die…I cant let him throw his life away
"Why don't you tell where the weight belt is?" Desmond suggested
"It's behind you" Charlie lied, and the moment he turned Charlie picked up an oar and hit Desmond upside the head. He fell unconscious and Charlie gently place him back in the boat…placing the note in his pocket
"You have hope now… you're not supposed to take my place brother" He then walked to the end of the boat and stood there for a moment.
He was facing his death
This is it…my last moments… He began to cry thinking of everybody he would never see again…but he reminded himself that Claire would get off the island because of this. He would get her off this island. And with that he dove in the water.
He swam and was beginning to lose air when he found a place he could come up for air. He broke the surface gasping.
I'm alive, I lived
He was so happy he wasn't going to die. He clambered up a ladder and lay on the ground gasping
"I'm alive" he whispered
"I'M ALIVE!" he yelled joyfully. And in came to women with guns. The guns were pointed at him. he stared at the two and raised his hands in the air
Crap
Ok this is greatest hits and I'm gonna do the season finale too…