Tris

I have been brave before.

I had been shot. I had lost people who were close to me. I have had many close fights with death. But never had I understood the true meaning of bravery until it was staring me right in the face. I was putting my Divergence to the test; thousands of peoples' lives depended on my survival of the air-borne death serum.

And I was ready to take the risk that came.

The fresh smell of explosives still lingered in the air after I blew open the locked door to the serums. Shrapnel littered the floor in bent tendrils; some jagged, some smooth, but broken, nonetheless. Just as the Bureau has defined us. The genetically pure – GP's – were the smooth edges, while the genetically damaged – GD's – were the jagged. But we all made up the broken pieces of shrapnel that was our world; bent and twisted, but not shattered. There was hope, still, for us.

I guess I could consider myself lucky. Tris Prior, survivor of the war against the Divergent by the knowledge-thirsty Erudite, and one of the few actual GP's that have come from the Chicago experiment. I should feel lucky. But I don't feel lucky. I feel labelled. A person should not be labelled based on the parts of themselves that they can't see; but rather the parts that they know is who they are. People who are labelled as what they are thought to be, will become it. That was how Tobias saw himself. He was told he was damaged and would never be pure, and he believed it. But I know that there is a difference between who you believe you are and what your genes make you to be. Little, tiny genes in my body do not define me.

I define me.

The door opened up to a tunnel. It was made of dull, dark grey metal, and a path was illuminated with circular beams of light in the floor, spaced every six feet or so. The contrast from the lights made it appear to be dark, even though I could see clearly.

I heard the sound of air releasing – like the sound of an aerosol can. The temperature of the room immediately seemed to drop. My heart sped up as I tried to keep myself calm. The death serum had been released. I couldn't stop now. Not that I ever had, since I joined Dauntless. Not since I made my choice; when I sliced my hand and let my blood sizzle on the coals. I remember when the hardest decision I could make was between the stones or the coals. That seems like a distant life now. Life has not stopped, and neither will I. I will keep going, until I am dead. This serum has the chance to destroy me, as Jeanine and her Erudite had failed to. But that was different – I survived death by society and weapons. Now I face the challenge of surviving by an invisible, biological foe.

If I had the choice, even that wouldn't be able to take me down.

Evening my breaths in an attempt to slow my heart rate, I aimed to keep my focus. I covered my nose and mouth with the neck of my t-shirt, and began to run. The tunnel didn't seem long by sight, but soon, it became a marathon that my body was fighting to continue on. I felt little pinpricks pierce my skin, like being injected with needles all over my body, or tiny knives slashing at my skin, and I began to feel numb. My body slowed down. Time stopped. My limbs fought to move, as if I was being frozen in place. I fought. I heaved. But I continued.

Focus.

I focused on my breaths; I counted them, one, two, three, repeat. My mission is to activate the memory serum. I will succeed. I will win. I focused on what I was fighting for. Chicago. My parents. Tobias.

For them, I will fight. For them, I would die.

My brain began to slow down. My vision became blurry, and colors became dim. I squinted to see in front of me. The end of the tunnel was near. I stumbled, falling on my knee. I gritted my teeth at the pained impact, pushed up with my hand, and continued. My muscles seized, my bones ached, my skin was numb and going cold. I began to panic. I might not make it. I might die.

No

I will fight.

Giving one last burst of my strength, I ran to the opposite end of the tunnel. I collapsed against the wall; cold and uninviting, and I realized I was panting and sweating, but shivering. My skin began to tingle with liveliness and my muscles relaxed. I sat against the metal wall, knees drawn to my chest, trying to generate some sort of warmth, while slowing down my heart and trying to keep calm. I was alive. I made it. The death serum did not kill me.

My Divergence saved me, even from death.

The rest of the room was surrounded by blue light, and for a moment, I thought of Erudite headquarters. I mildly cringed at the memories of being prodded on a table, placed in tanks filling with water, and knowing that my life had an expiration date. I shook the thoughts away and focused. There were boxes attached to the wall. As I got closer, I realized that they were like refrigerators, and through the clear glass, I saw colored vials of liquid inside them. Each was illuminated and labelled with a certain color and symbol – a glowing purple set of hands facing the sky palm up for memory serum, a white skull and crossbones for death serum, a green tree for the peace serum, a blue set of balanced scales for the truth serum, and an orange one surrounded by flames for the simulation serum. All of the devices had big red buttons on them, and by my knowledge of big red buttons, I know that means that the serum is let loose.

I approached the memory serum.

"I wouldn't do that, if I were you," I heard behind me. I turned quickly, a piece of hair from my ponytail falling into my face. I brushed it away.

A man stood, tall, in his forties, with a receding hairline, and a gun in his hand.

David.

I froze, realizing I wasn't wearing a bulletproof vest, and immediately I got scared. If he shot me, I had no protection. I wanted to shrink inside myself and curl into a tiny ball, or run to Tobias' arms. But I couldn't be that vulnerable little girl that everybody saw me as anymore. The time for playing to my size to escape danger was over. I had to show I was stronger than just what I appeared to be.

"And why shouldn't I?" I don't know where my voice came from, but that response seemed to be the only one I was able to give.

"Tris, you're doing the wrong thing. Just stop now," the gun didn't waver, but David's voice did, "just give up now, and you won't be charged with as bad of repercussions." His voice held a little bit of warning. I raised my chin in defiance. "You plan to wipe out an entire city – their memories, their names, their lives. But that is just not any city. That is my city. That is where I came from, and I refuse to let you destroy them like you have destroyed us our entire existence. We are nothing but your puppets to try and scrounge together what could possibly be left of this broken world. Where is the sense in deleting your past trials, when your whole experiment is the one that needs to be fixed? Those people are not damaged, they are human beings who are victims of being other people's playthings. Chicago is not at your disposal to just erase and start over. You're the one who needs to be fixed. Not us. We are not damaged. You are." I narrowed my eyes at David, noticing a bead of perspiration dot in between his eyebrows. His arms began to shake, and I kept my stance. I did not move closer or further away from the memory serum refrigerator.

Less than ten more feet.

If I ran now, he would have time to shoot me before I got to the button. He would either have to drop the weapon, or become distracted, and I was alone.

"Tris, you've been poisoned by those GD's. You are not damaged at all – your genetic composition is entirely pure and healed. They are the damaged ones. You and I, on the other hand, are not." David said, motioning his other hand between me and himself, as if we were in the same category together. Like we were fighting the same fight.

"Don't talk about the rest of those people as if they don't have names," I spat. One of them was my boyfriend, you pompous ass.

"But don't you see? Their names hold no significance if their genes don't. They are nothing but walking loose machines; losing bolts and screws until they are nothing but weapons of their own destruction. It is our job to fix those machines." He was trying to reason with me, but if anything it was just enraging me more. His very existence was irritating me. Why hadn't I noticed this corruption before? Tobias was right. Isn't that what our fights were always about? Who was right and who was wrong? This time, I can admit my wrongs, even if it is only to myself. If I live, I'll be able to say it to Tobias myself. He was right. All along, he was right.

"Humankind in itself is loose," I balanced myself on my feet, leaning carefully in the direction of the serums. I couldn't run to them; it was too far – David would shoot me before I got halfway there. But if a distraction was provided, I could try.

"But the pure are not."

"Maybe that is the difference between you and I, David. The word pure by definition means untouched by immoral fault. What your entire Bureau stands for is immoral. You are the impure ones."

"That is merely ethics. I think the real difference between you and I is that I have the gun and you don't," David smirked. I gulped.

"If Chicago taught me anything, it's that even a bullet can't stop you."

I took off for the serum.

Ten feet.

I heard two gun shots.

Nine, eight.

I felt searing pain in my abdomen underneath my ribs.

Seven, six.

Tears blurred my vision.

Five, four.

Did I only get hit once?

Three, two.

I kept going.

One.

I will fight.

Zero.

Until I am dead.

I hit the red button for the memory serum. An alarm sounded, the room glowing with red light. The aerosol sound loudly echoed through the vents above my head. I was inoculated so I would not be affected. I leaned against the dull, cool metal of the wall, slowly feeling the blood drain from my body. I did not go feeling for the wound. I just rested my head against the wall. My knees grew weak, and I slid down the wall, sitting in a ball.

The world went black.

Tobias

The memory serum was released. I know because people started walking around aimlessly with confused looks on their faces. If they were working diligently on a task, they looked up with a blank look and back down to their task, and back up again. That means Caleb was successful. I had to find Tris.

I run to where the serums were kept. I passed confused people who had no idea where they were or what they were doing. I turned a corner and ran into Caleb.

"Four, I—" he started, stopping in his tracks.

"Where is she?" I demanded.

Caleb was silent.

"Where. Is. Tris." I asked again, through gritted teeth, shaking with anticipation.

"She…she went in, instead of me." Caleb said quietly.

All life stopped. The world slowed. My vision tunneled.

And I grabbed Caleb by the throat and punched him in the face.

He hit the ground, hard, holding his jaw, me standing over him ready to hit him again. But Cara ran up to me before I could. "Four," she gasped, "We found her."

"Is she…?" Tears gathered in my eyes.

"Come and see."

Tris

Machines beeped. My breathing was even. My heart thumped normally, as if I just woke up from a pleasant, calm dream. I hadn't had one of those in a very long time.

Opening my eyes, the walls were too bright of a white, and I immediately squinted so I was not overwhelmed by it. I blinked a few times, and several faces came into focus. One, was a doctor. The second, was Christina. The third, was Matthew. Where is Tobias? I thought. Matthew sat closest to me, looking down on me as if admiring.

Christina began to sniffle on my other side, and I reached out with my hand and rubbed her arm. That only made her start to cry, and I felt guilty. I didn't know if she was crying because I was alive, or because I almost died. Either way, I was alive, and I was thankful. It became known to me then that my entire abdomen was wrapped in bandages.

My voice croaked, "So what's the damage, doc?" Even barely escaping with my life, I couldn't help but try to be light about all this.

"The bullet grazed your kidney. We were able to save it. But you will be bed ridden for a few weeks so we can keep you, er, detained."

"So I'm bed ridden until I'm completely healed so I don't go out and cause more destruction?" I asked.

"Basically."

"You guys are no fun." Christina hiccupped, which I guess was her giggle at the moment, and Matthew cracked a small smile.

I heard someone come to the door, and looking up, I met dark blue eyes.

Tobias.

He was gripping the doorway as if it was his lifeline. He heaved as if all oxygen left the planet. I sat up straighter in my bed, awaiting what he'd say. I put my life in danger after he asked me not to. Or we'd be done. I risked my life because I couldn't let Caleb die out of guilt. Tobias should be seething. Why wasn't he saying anything?

Instead, he strode to my bed quickly, Matthew moved before he got to me, and sat where Matthew was, half in the seat and half in the bed. Tobias put his head in my lap, putting one hand on my upper thigh and the other wrapped around my waist. His shoulders shook as he wept. I put one hand on his back in between his shoulder blades – over top where his Dauntless symbol would be – and the other went into his short hair. I bent my head down and leaned my forehead on the top of his head, murmuring comforting words. Tobias only wept more at the sound of my voice. He looked up at me, his eyes were red, his cheeks wet, his lip quivering, before taking my head in both of his hands and kissing me with everything he had. I kissed him with everything I had. All my faults. All the times I was wrong. All the times I hurt him and let him down. All the love I had for him. I put all of it into this kiss.

When he let go, he still held my face in between his hands. Tobias lowered his head to my chest and still wept. I ran my fingers through his hair and whispered how much I loved him over and over, so he knew, and I knew. I loved him. I love Tobias Eaton. Nothing was going to take me away from him anymore. I pulled him in the bed with me, scooting over so he had room. He followed, and I cradled him in my arms, kissing his forehead and wet cheeks, continuing to tell him I loved him.

"I thought I lost you," he murmured. I wiped spare tears away from his pink cheeks. "You'll never lose me." I kissed him again. "Never?" he asked.

"Never."

Tris

(2 years later)

We rebuilt the Bureau. We taught the people that no one was damaged, and no one was more superior than another based on their genetic makeup. We were all human. We just made a lot of mistakes that needed to be fixed.

The faction system was eliminated. People voted for their leaders. The faction headquarters were turned into all apartments. Erudite headquarters became a university. Evelyn and Marcus set aside their differences and split the power that the people voted them to have. Marcus usually handled political decisions while Evelyn handled the social decisions. No one had to wear a designated color anymore. No one was a designated label anymore.

With time, I forgave Caleb. It took a long time, but eventually I realized he was all I had left of my old life before I chose Dauntless. I preferred this free life now, but every now and then I miss the old life, and Caleb was the only part of that life that I had left. I figured I could use a bit of the past to keep me stable for the present and future.

Tobias and I live in his old apartment in the Dauntless compound. We were offered a place in the Hancock building, but his apartment felt more like home than anything else. We could see most of the city from his balcony, and on windy nights (which were often in Chicago) it was nice to see the skyline illuminated by the sunset, and know that the night would be peaceful.

The population increased tenfold. People from the Fringe started to come into Chicago and help rebuild the destroyed sections of the city to make more living compounds. People worked in new factories or out in the fields, or in government offices like Tobias and I. Tobias worked under his parents, hoping to walk in their footsteps. He wanted to lead the city into a better age than it emerged from, and every day I tell him he'll make it. I help counsel people who were scarred emotionally from the war. The Abnegation who escaped the attack from Dauntless. The Erudite who regret being a part of the faction that broke the rest. But they weren't Abnegation or Erudite anymore; they were people with problems that came to me to fix them, and I did so willingly.

Nights were especially difficult at times, because I was constantly haunted by nightmares of being tormented by faceless people in Erudite blue, cutting me open as if I was a dead pig ready for dissection. Or nightmares about how my friends died for me. My parents died for me. Lynn, Marlene, Uriah, Tori, Will…all gone because of this war. I will never see them again. I will never get another tattoo by Tori's hand. Or grow red at a smartass comment Lynn made. Or laugh until my ribs ached with Marlene and Uriah. Or see Christina smile because of Will. Those people made impacts on my life that I never would have been able to describe until they were absent. I believe that is another fault amongst humans – we take people and things too much for granted and never appreciate them until they are gone forever, and then there is this hole in our chest that can't be filled. Whether that hole is because of guilt or just emptiness, it hurts just the same.

I know that I will never take anyone for granted again. All I have, is my boyfriend, my brother, and my best friend. That is the only family I'll ever need. I lost my family because of a faction's greed and thirst for power. I rebuilt a family from the ashes of the Chicago experiment and I'll never do anything to lose them again.

One October evening around dusk, when the sun was just above the horizon, I hit the button 100 on the elevator of the Hancock building. Tobias stroked the back of my hand with his thumb and held an urn in the other hand, containing Uriah's ashes. I thought, what a perfect way for him to go out, than for him to be spread over Chicago, and facing a fear at the same time.

The elevator dinged, and the wind whipped my hair over my shoulder. Tobias stiffened. "Ready to be known as Three?" I said. "Not funny," he hissed, slowly creeping onto the roof of the building.

The zip line was still intact. It was big enough to fit two people if we sat straight up, my front to Tobias' back. Tobias got in first, and I climbed in next, holding the urn in my lap, and Tobias holding the rope that would let the zip line go. "Ready?" I asked. He blew out a deep breath and closed his eyes. "I'm sure he's looking down at you and laughing his ass off." "How kind of him to laugh at my misfortunes. This is for you, Uri!" Tobias let the rope go.

Flying. That's what we were doing. The wind whizzed past our heads and intertwined in our hair. Tobias held me by the waist tightly, and I smiled because he was being so brave. I took the urn in my hands and lifted off the top, and Tobias held onto the urn with one hand as we poured Uriah's ashes together. The grey specks danced down onto the Earth; spread out over Chicago so he was a part of it forever. He helped save this city and now he belonged to it.

Upon approaching the bottom, Tobias and I realized that we were nearly fifteen feet in the air, dangling from the zip line. I held on to the line while he plummeted to the ground first, so he could catch me when I fell. I landed safely on my feet, his arms around me and a smile on his face.

"Still afraid of heights?" I asked.

"I think I always will be. But for Uri, facing my fear was worth it." He said, gathering me in his arms and kissing me. "I love you, Tris," he whispered. "I love you too, Tobias." He grasped my hand with his warm one, and suddenly, October in Chicago didn't feel as chilly anymore. This man is the reason I've stayed grounded; the reason I've kept a level head; the reason I became brave.

I know now that I could never have been Tris the Selfless. Transferring into Dauntless made me become who I am now. I learned to stand up for myself. I learned that a definition of pure does not define me. My genes do not define me. I define me. I learned not to take people for granted. I learned to value my own life. I learned how to stand for what I believe in and nothing less.

I am selfish. I am brave.

We believe
that cowardice is to blame for the world's injustices.
We believe
that peace is hard-won, that sometimes it is necessary to fight for peace. But more than that:
We believe
that justice is more important than peace.
We believe
in freedom from fear, in denying fear the power to influence our decisions.
We believe
in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another.
We believe
in acknowledging fear and the extent to which it rules us.
We believe
in facing that fear no matter what the cost to our comfort, our happiness, or even our sanity.
We believe
in shouting for those who can only whisper, in defending those who cannot defend themselves.
We believe
not just in bold words but in bold deeds to match them.
We believe
 that pain and death are better than cowardice and inaction, because
We believe
in action.

~The Dauntless Manifesto