Title: Down the Line
Summary: Maybe not expecting from Sasuke is just as destructive and disappointing as expecting.
Theme: Alternate Universe
Prompt: "I really don't know where I went wrong."
Medium: Fanfiction
Rating: T
A/N: Don't expect. Or well. LOL That clashes with my summary, doesn't it? :)) Just a little random oneshot because I'm a little bored with my lessons.
Un-beta-ed, as usual.
"I really don't know where I went wrong."
Sasuke looked up from his Math notebook, his pen pausing in midtwirl in his right hand. Beside him, Sakura was staring out into space, a serious look marring her otherwise carefree features. "Is this about your Math exam? Or Anatomy? Or Orgo-Chem?"
"No." She turned to face him. Today was one of the few chances they get to spend with each other. University is starting to eat them alive, and it was difficult to match their schedules. And if they ever find a few hours to themselves, they are still swamped by academic requirements that they barely have time to pay attention to the other's well-being.
"I was talking about… this." She gestured mostly to the table full of her books and a few of Sasuke's readings for his Business Administration class.
"…?"
"I mean," Sakura straightened up in her seat. "Shouldn't we at least find time to hold hands, even? Things are too hectic and I haven't even started in my Med proper! For God's sake, I'm still AB Pre-Med and I can't even give you one date!"
"Then why are you asking where you went wrong? Clearly, I should also be consulted in this self-depreciating analysis of yours. After all, I am your boyfriend."
Sakura shrugged. "Well. Honestly Sasuke, I've never expected you to hold on to our relationship. I mean, pay more attention than you have to. I know that what you give here is all that you could give. And I'm not going to ask you for more. And when we're hitting shallows like these, I can't help but think that maybe there's something wrong that I've done."
Sakura looked pensive for a moment. The raven-haired young man beside her doesn't look too happy either after her tirade.
"I'm insulted. Do you really think that?" In a heartbeat, Sasuke captured Sakura's hand in his and held tight.
"What? Why would you be insulted?"
"Sakura, you basically just told me that you have no expectations of me. It's the same as saying you're expecting me to be an absentee party in this relationship. Or that you're just bound to disappointment, that's why you have no expectations from me."
Sakura blinked, and then stared at him in astonishment. "That was totally your longest speech ever, Sasuke-kun."
"Stop changing the topic."
Sakura sighed. "Well, you're partly right. At the back of my mind, I still have this notion that you're here with me because I always seem to be there for you. And maybe that's one of your reasons-"
"It is. One of the many."
She blushed. "Well… As I was saying, that's not enough. It's not enough for me, but I still accept it. If this is what you can give me, I'll take it all. But see, sometimes I still think that you're going to leave me once you stop seeing what you've seen with me. And I still don't know why chose to be with me. I mean, I spent my childhood and middle school with you calling me, 'annoying'. And then, I don't know, suddenly we're together. It's so surreal. Sometimes when I wake up in the morning, I wonder if this is the day you'd be leaving me."
She was so into her explanation that her eyes strayed towards the table in front of them. But as she turned to look at Sasuke's face for his reaction, she was stunned by the clarity of emotions in his eyes. Suddenly, she felt the pain and hurt felt by Sasuke from what she had just said. But she can't help her insecurities. It's what she really feels, and she thinks that maybe he didn't need to know but she really need to let it out.
Or maybe she just wants to find an assurance that what they have is right, and that no one is to blame, especially her.
"Sakura." He whispered, choking in his emotions that were trying to escape his tightly-held control. "I…"
"You should expect more from me, because I'm in this as much as you are. I'm trying—fuck; you know I'm not good with words." He scowled playfully at her. "It's not easy, everyday trying to show you how much I want this, us. And I've been fairing inadequately, apparently. But, now that I know better…"
"You have to know, that there's nothing more important to me than you."
The following morning, Sakura woke up to Sasuke's gruff voice, "Good Morning. I'm not leaving you today." Because it was so unexpected, she forgot that she was still connected when she shrieked and laughed, and jumped like a little school girl in her bed.
"I'm sorry, but that was too unexpected!"
"Well, I figured it's better to surprise you every day with things you don't expect from me. Pretty effective, I found out."
Needless to say, the shit-eating smile in Sakura's face for the whole day was not wiped out. Not even by a pop quiz in Anatomy hindered her Sasuke-High.
review, lovelies?;)