Okayyy because I read a bit too much angst I decided to try writing some for myself… and it came out… like this… *headdesk* Well it was an experience. And now I'm pretty sure I won't be trying it again :P
The 'Chimera' in the title doesn't refer to the more-than-one-animal chimera's in FMA, but like... an illusion. Look it up :]
Disclaimer: Nope. I don't own, and never will. FMA is too awesome for me to own.
"Wait for me. I'll be back, I promise."
I remember the way his golden eyes glinted in the sunlight, the determination shining on his face. He was going to go save the world, he was going to defeat all the bad guys and then he'd come back, and they'd get their bodies back, and I'd cry tears of happiness, and everything was going to be okay.
I remember shouting his name, nagging, worrying, reminding, hoping that maybe, he'd finally understand. That all that worrying wasn't just for the sake of worrying, that when I nagged him, it wasn't just for his automail…
"Wait for me. I'll be back after all this is over, I promise. So bake an apple pie for me, and keep it warm!"
And I believed him, I believed that he was going to be back, and I'd wait for him, like he told me to.
"I will!"
I remember him turning his large looking back on Granny and me, hair tied in a braid, his 'badass' red jacket draped over his shoulders, not looking back, until they were not to be seen. I remember standing on that porch, a stabbing feeling in my gut, the tears welling up in my throat. But no. I would not cry. Because I had promised Ed, that the next time I shed my tears, they'd be tears of happiness. And they would be shed when he came back, like he promised. Ed never broke his promises. He would come back.
~xXx~
It's been two months since the solar eclipse and the so-called 'promised day'. Two months since we all passed out, supposedly because we had our souls sucked out of us. But we came back to our consciousness, and we were still alive, so that meant that the villain had been defeated, and the whole crisis was over.
But those brothers are not back.
"I'll be back after all this is over, I promise."
'All that' is over, Ed. You promised you'd come back. You promised. And you never break your promises. Yet you're not here with me. Why?
I regret not stopping him, not telling him exactly how I felt about him, how much I loved him, not just his automail, as he thought. I loved him, and I had loved him all my life. I may have been late in realizing, but it was true.
No, why am I regretting it? Ed's going to come back. He's going to come back, as he promised, and then I'll cry tears of happiness and I'll tell him then, and everything will be okay. What's two months? Don't forget who he is, Winry Rockbell. He's Edward Elric. He'll come back, because he promised that he would. And Edward Elric doesn't break his promises.
When he comes back, I'll smash his head in before bursting into tears. Or maybe after. Well, it doesn't matter. Perhaps I could skip the whole head bashing. I don't care anymore. As long as he comes back, as long as I'm next to him, sure that he's all right and not going to leave me again.
But Ed will be fine. He's Ed, after all. No matter how many times he's beaten down, no matter how many times he bleeds and walks on the brink of death, hand in hand with it, actually, he always comes back with the same determination in those shining golden eyes that I saw on the day he left, the day he turned that red-jacket-draped back on me, that day two months ago… Ed is always all right. Always.
~xXx~
The Colonel and Lieutenant Hawkeye came over yesterday. Except they've been promoted to Major General and Major respectively. They've come to tell me about Ed. He's okay, they say. He's resting, they say. Apparently he got hurt fighting the guy who sucks in all our souls, and he's just taking a break.
I panic, of course. Ed got hurt? Where is he? Is he all right? Typical questions. Questions asked out of reflex. He's fine, they say. He's resting. Just resting. I breathe a sight of relief, that stupid guy. Making me worry again. What about Al? I ask. How is he? They tell me he's fine as well, he's with his brother. Taking a break. With his brother.
So that's why they haven't come back yet. They're hurt. They're resting. But they'll come back once they've gotten better. Stupid Ed. He made me worry again. He'd tell me not to worry, but how could I? I love him. I've loved him all my life. How could I not worry about him? Stupid Ed.
Five months, it's been. I'm chewing on a slice of apple pie, the same apple pie Ed asked me to bake for him when he came back. I bake apple pie every day. Because Ed is going to come back soon. And when he does, I'll attack him with a wrench, glomp him, and make him eat pie. Or maybe I'll make him eat pie first. Or glomp him before attacking him. It doesn't matter what order I do them in. As long as he comes back.
"I'll be back after all this is over. I promise."
Yeah, right. Maybe I'll just eat all the pie for myself. Serves him right.
"Wait for me"
I'm waiting, Ed. I'm waiting. And I'll wait. I'll keep waiting until you come back, until you fulfill that promise, and I'll bake an apple pie for you and we'll all laugh and we'll cry tears of happiness and I'll tell you how I feel about you, and maybe you'll answer me positively. Or negatively. But you'll be here, and we'll all be together, and everything will be okay.
"Bake an apple pie for me."
~xXx~
I'm sick of apple pie now. I've been eating apple pie every day for eight months. But I keep baking them. Because when Ed comes back, I'll have one for him. I'll have the pie in one hand, and my wrench in one hand. Wait, but I can't beat him up. He's been hurt, and I might open up his wounds. I might have to make him rest a bit more.
Although it is a little weird how Ed's been resting for so long now. Eight months. Usually he'd be out of the hospital even if he's bleeding all over and so weak he can't even stand. But he'd hate me for calling him weak. He's strong Ed, smart Ed, brave Ed, Ed who always makes me worry about every single thing… Ed who I've fallen in love with… I just hope that that Ed will be back soon. I might just decide to stop baking apple pies.
That's a lie. I will wait until the end of the world for Ed, baking apple pies for him and waiting, holding in these tears that want to burst out because I can only cry them when I see them get their bodies back. But why would I cry? Ed will come back. He'll come back, like he promised, because he always keeps his promises. Always.
~xXx~
Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four. Three… Two… One
Fireworks explode and we laugh as people scream and laugh and hug each other. So another year has come and gone. Come and gone, but it'll come back. Not the year, of course. Ed.
It's been ten months. Ten months of baking apple pies and getting wrenches ready and waiting and holding back tears… all in preparation for the day those brothers come back. Al… and Ed. My Ed. My Ed who promised he'd come back, so he would, because he promised he would.
Granny and I go home after a while, and we laugh at the arrival of the new year for a while before she goes to sleep. I'm happy that she had a good time. Recently, she looks sad, sadder than before. Maybe it's because of those brothers. But why would she be? They're coming back. They're just resting. They got hurt in battle, and they're resting. For ten months.
I'm about to go to bed when I hear a voice behind me. I can't hear what it's saying, but I know who it is. Of course I do.
"Ed? Is that you?"
"Winry… are you still waiting for me?"
"Of course I am! You told me to, didn't you?" I pause, the tears that I've been holding back for all this time welling in my eyes, threatening to finally break through and roll down my cheeks. There's still some uneaten apple pie on the kitchen table. I couldn't finish it, I was just too sick of eating it every day.
"Where are you, Ed? How come you haven't come home in such a long time?"
"I think you know the answer to that."
"You've been resting, right? Since when do you rest so long after getting hurt?"
"You know the answer to that as well."
"Ed, stop playing!" I laugh weakly, trying to pinpoint the exact location of his voice. But I can't. It's coming from everywhere.
"Ed, I wanted to tell you this when you left…" I stare down at the ground. "This is something I've felt for a long time…"
"Ed, I love you! I've loved you all my life…" I shout, my cheeks reddening slightly. But I don't really care anymore. It's finally out. I finally told him. I wait for a response, maybe he'll come out and hug me and tell me he loves me too, or he'll come out, look at me with sad eyes, and tell me I'm just his friend. I don't care. I just want to see him again.
He doesn't answer for a while. Finally, he responds. Very shakily. As if he's crying. But that's not possible. Ed doesn't cry. He's strong, he's brave, and he doesn't cry.
"Winry… I loved you too. But… you can't love me anymore."
"What? Why not?"
"You know why!" he yells, suddenly angry. I take a step back, slightly frightened, my heart threatening to shatter in five hundred million pieces and more…
"No, Ed, I don't! Please… come out… let me see you…"
"Winry… I'm… I'm dead! I'm dead, Winry!"
I can't hear him. He won't hear him. It's impossible. He's not dead, he's talking to me right now, he's here with me… not in a grave next to his parents and Al…
"Please Winry, stop hurting yourself like this…" He is crying, my Ed is crying, and everything comes to me.
All this time… all this waiting… Roy and Riza had told me all those months ago…
"The Elric brothers… they saved us all, but at the price of their lives. They were both killed in battle."
"They're resting in peace now."
I remember walking to their graves, crying, screaming, pounding the earth,
"Ed, you promised! You promised you would come back!"
I shed those tears that were meant for when they came back, and they did come back, just… not in the way I would have expected. I shed those tears, those tears that were reserved for this moment, but like him, I did not completely fulfill my promise. These were bittersweet tears, they had come back, but they were further from me more than ever.
That sad look in Granny's eyes, the one she had ever since they left.
The sadness I've felt all this time.
I knew.
I knew. But I forgot. Or rather, I didn't want to know.
"I'm sorry, Winry. I couldn't keep my promise."
"Ed! No, please, Ed, don't leave me, please…"
"I'm sorry, Winry. I loved you, and always will. But you have to stop hurting yourself."
"Ed…"
"Thank you for that apple pie, by the way. But I won't be needing it."
And he was gone. Just like that. He was gone a long time ago. I just didn't want to let him go. But I finally have.
~xXx~
I don't eat apple pies anymore. Neither does he.
Pretty obvious ending. I really don't know what to say... that was long? That was my first oneshot/angst/romance story so... well all I can say is meh... =.= and now all that depressing stuff is out of my system ^^ Yeah...
Reviews are loved :D Thank you for reading!
