"I love you".
"I love you too".
Fighting back tears as he checked the systems on automatic, Ianto Jones tried not to let his emotions show on his face as he turned his back on Lisa.
"Ianto?"
"How is the medication holding up?" he interrupted, refusing to look at her in fear of seeing something else in her eyes. "Do you need another dose?"
"Ianto".
"No," he blurted, shaking his head roughly as his hand clenched into a fist where she wouldn't see it. "Don't ask me to turn around".
He could almost feel her tired smile burning into his back. "It's not your fault, Ianto," Lisa said softly, the pain in her voice making him flinch, as she assumed that looking at her like that was the source of his pain. "You're helping make me better, remember?" she added as he heard her shifting slightly on the conversion-turned-life-support unit he'd stolen for her.
There was silence for a moment, during which he felt Lisa's eyes roaming over his tense shoulders. "I would like to sleep now, Ianto," she whispered, making him nod stiffly.
Reaching out blindly to hit the button that pumped sedatives into Lisa's body, Ianto steeled himself to turn around, forcing a weak smile onto his face in response to the one she sent him. "I love you," he repeated quietly, taking her hand in his and squeezing lightly, "I'll always love you".
"I love you too, Ianto," Lisa replied, the relief in her voice making him die a little inside. "Stay with me?"
Nodding and resting his hip on the side of the life support unit's bed, Ianto sat there and just talked – telling Lisa about his day, about the strange artefact he'd found stuffed between two files in the Archives, about Jack's too-interested reaction to it when they discovered that it was the equivalent of a 51st century sex toy. He talked about his co-worker Tosh's embarrassing (for her) crush on their doctor, and then he talked about Owen's almost crush on their technician. And finally, when he built up the courage to look her in the eyes again, he choked back a sob when he saw she was asleep.
"I'll always love you," he murmured, leaning down to press a chaste kiss to her forehead. "Goodbye, Lisa".
And then he was gone, stumbling down the tunnel corridor without bothering to lock the door behind him.
He hadn't lied. Ianto truly did love her. Lisa had been the bright sun that had illuminated his days back at Torchwood One, kept back the guilt and self-hatred that consumed him. How could he not have loved her when her very soul was laid out before him? She had been so pure, so happy that he almost wept the first time he laid eyes on her, and even after the battle of Canary Wharf her infectious happiness hadn't gone out. Sure Lisa had been tainted by the battle just as he had, but despite the knowledge that the conversion would likely kill her in time, she never stopped loving – either the world or him.
And now it had happened. The conversion had been progressing the entire time, they both knew this, but they had hoped that it would slow down or perhaps even stop outright. But it hadn't, and now Lisa was lost to him forever. Now She was dead, and It remained in her place.
"Ah Ianto! Perfect timing!"
Blinking in shock as he looked up at Jack (because when did he reach the hub proper?) Ianto glanced around and quickly took stock of what was happening.
"Sir," he greeted calmly, not giving an indication of where he just was and what he was just doing. "Can I speak to you in your office?"
"Later," Jack dismissed, waving a hand lazily, "You got here just in time, we're at a stalemate at the moment and-"
"Pizza," Ianto cut in bluntly, making Jack jerk back in shock at being interrupted (that man did love to talk). "I'll order pizza. Tosh hates Chinese food and wants pizza but is voting for Chinese because you want it, Owen actually wants pizza too but he's voting for fish and chips because Suzie wants it, and Suzie doesn't care about what she has for lunch today but is voting for fish and chips to make a stalemate just to spite you. Now can we please talk in your office, Sir?" he finished, ignoring the looks of shock on everyone's faces as he stared directly into Jack's eyes.
"And what do I want?" the Captain asked slowly, not a trace of his usual flirtatious grin on his face as he stared back at Ianto seriously.
"You want corndogs from the stand at the edge of the Plass because deep down you just love putting phallus-shaped objects in your mouth," Ianto shot back without hesitation.
For the first time in a long time the Hub was deathly silent, the team looking between Jack and Ianto with baited breath as if the two of them didn't banter like that every other day.
Then Jack just grinned and Ianto felt the room's tension just draining away, the man gesturing towards his office before shoving his hands into his pockets and waiting patiently. "Well? Go on, I want to watch you climb the stairs," the Captain teased, Ianto's customary reply about harassment coming to the tip of his tongue before he bit down on it.
"Sir," was all he said, the grin falling from Jack's face as the man straightened and headed up the stairs, coat swirling behind him as he entered 'Captain mode'.
"You're not allowed to quit," Jack said the moment Ianto shut the office door behind him, "Unless of course you're quitting to open a coffee shop on the Plass that serves Torchwood free coffee".
"There's a Cyberwoman in sublevel B4".
Jack's hand jerked, knocking his coffee mug and the sex toy from that morning off his desk as his head snapped up to stare at Ianto, who hadn't bothered to sit down and was just standing before the man's desk.
"Ianto… what did you do?" the man asked slowly, immediately connecting Ianto's mood to his words.
Sitting down slowly and trying to avoid looking the Captain in the eyes, Ianto took a deep breath before beginning to speak. "Her name was Lisa Hallett".
"Your girlfriend, died in Canary Wharf," Jack said stiffly, the anger audible in his voice.
"She was partially converted," Ianto corrected, eyes locked on the man's desk. "When I realised that she was still human, I got her out of Torchwood One and built her a life support machine from a conversion unit that I managed to rescue from the building. I brought her here because I needed access to Torchwood to contact an expert in cybernetics to help reverse the conversion".
"Once the conversion is started the only hope for reversing the process is a bullet between the eyes," Jack stated, his voice going cold as his anger transcended shouting.
"She had been getting better recently," Ianto continued, pretending to ignore Jack's correction. "I found an unaccounted for artefact in the Archives that I recognised from Torchwood One and used it on her, it stabilized her mind. We hoped it would be enough to prevent the programing from evolving to take over her brain".
Refusing to flinch as Jack slammed his fist down onto his desk, Ianto remained seated as the man stood and stalked over to the door, throwing it open to gain everyone's attention. "Toshiko! Lock down the Hub! Suzie! Owen! Arm up, we have an uninvited guest!" the man shouted, one-hundred percent Captain, "Await my orders!"
"She's incapable of moving, Sir," Ianto said simply, "Her lungs are almost fully converted and cannot function without the life support unit".
Jack growled, Ianto biting back a whimper of pain as a hand sank into his hair and pulled his head back so he was meeting Jack's eyes. "Then why? Why tell us? Why hand yourself in?"
"Because until now she was still Lisa," Ianto confessed as red lights flashed around the Hub as it was locked down.
"NO SHE WASN'T!" Jack shouted, moving around Ianto's chair to grab onto his shoulders, "The moment the conversion started she was dead!"
"No she wasn't," Ianto shot back, finally hearing the tremor entering his voice. "Until today her mind was still her own. Until today the only one in her head was Lisa".
As Jack growled once more, Ianto allowed himself to be pulled to his feet and slammed over the desk, Jack pulling a pair of handcuffs from somewhere and binding his wrists with them. "You're going to the cells," the man spat, "I'll deal with you once we've destroyed that thing once and for all".
Turning around as Jack let out an indistinguishable noise, half-pacing as he pulled his gun from his holster and checked how many rounds it had.
"I felt it happen, Jack," Ianto whispered as the man snapped the chamber shut. "I was there when her mind died, when the reconditioning took over. I felt it happen".
Jack shot him a dark look, glancing towards the windows before freezing as his head whipped around to stare at Ianto in a mixture of shock and betrayal. "You" the man breathed out.
"Me" Ianto confirmed, speaking directly into Jack's mind. "I was only a Junior Researcher for two months, then I went through the mandatory psychic evaluations and was reassigned to the psychic department. Trust me when I say she was Lisa until today".
Jack didn't respond straight away, Ianto's eyes falling back to the desk as he mentally cursed his strange inability to read the Captain's mind.
"The reconditioning reached the point where it was self-fulfilling?"
"Yes, Sir," Ianto confirmed, "We tried to slow it as much as we could, hoping Dr. Tanizaki would be able to do more, but…"
"But it was too late," Jack finished.
Nodding, Ianto startled as something hit his shoe, the sound loud in the quiet office. Looking down, he blinked dumbly as he realised he was crying, the shock of Lisa's sudden death apparently wearing off.
"Jack?"
Not looking up at Suzie as the woman appeared in the doorway (she was a murderer… Ianto needed to remember to tell Jack about that), he kept his eyes on the ground as he leaned against the desk, hiding his cuffed hands behind his back as she looked between them.
"Head down to sublevel B2 and wait for me," Jack ordered, his voice blank. "Standard war gear".
"Will you explain what's going on?" Suzie asked impatiently.
"When I get there, now go," Jack instructed, Ianto waiting until he heard Suzie leaving before peeking up at the Captain. "We will talk about this," the man said coldly, jabbing a finger at Ianto, "Don't think that we won't".
"She's sedated," came his reply, "I doubled the dosage so she shouldn't wake up".
Jack paused, staring at him for a while before nodding. "Stay here," he ordered, pulling his gun from his holster again and flicking off the safety.
Lifting himself up onto the corner of the desk as Jack vanished out the door, Ianto stared through the window blindly, feeling tears falling from his face and onto his legs as he sat there.
He would be executed for this, Torchwood regulations were very clear about situations like his. Retcon's affectability was limited on anyone with a psychic level higher than three and it barely worked at all on a level five. Ianto was a high five, low six. Not only was his psychic level too high for Retcon, but he'd been working at Torchwood for over two years now, and the dosage required for even one year would cause him to O.D and suffer a fatal cardiac arrest.
A scuffle near the door caught his attention, and he barely had the time to look up before a fist was slamming into his face.
"OWEN!"
Almost falling from the desk as he lost his balance, Ianto caught himself and watched through tear-filled eyes as Owen shook his fist out and scowled. "You deserved that," the doctor snarled simply, before launching himself forward and doing something worse than hitting him – he hugged Ianto. "You poor sod," the man whispered in his ear, "You poor, poor sod".
As Owen pulled himself back and smoothed down his shirt, the doctor merely nodded to both him and Jack before stalking out of the room with a muttered "I'll be in late tomorrow".
Blinking over at the clock and realising he'd been out of it for just over an hour, Ianto slowly turned to face Tosh who was hovering in the doorway with a broken look on her face. That time he was expecting it, although admittedly he'd have preferred it if she had punched him before just throwing herself at him and sobbing out an "I'm so, so sorry".
"Tosh".
The small Asian woman stepping back with a sniff, Ianto leaned forward and looked towards his shirt pocket, Tosh giving him a teary smile as she reached into it to pull out a handkerchief. Watching as Jack directed her out of the room with just a calm hand on her shoulder, Ianto waited patiently for the hug – the punch – the bullet – that would be coming his way next.
"Sir?"
"Ianto," Jack exhaled, sighing as he ran his hand down his face, "Can you-"
"No," he interrupted, "I can't read your mind, I've tried but there's just nothing there. Your shields are phenomenal".
"That's good, I guess," Jack admitted, hand lingering on his chin. "It's not what I was going to ask, but that's good".
"Sir?" Ianto repeated cautiously.
"Can you not?" Jack blurted, moving over to collapse into his chair. "Can you just call me Jack, right now? This is going to be hard enough as it is".
"Yes Si- Jack," he agreed slowly, feeling almost – was he relieved – that it was all going to be over soon.
"You're suspended without pay for a fortnight," Jack declared, making something clench in Ianto's gut as he blinked in shock. "Effective immediately".
"I- what? But the regulations state-"
"I'm not going to kill you, Ianto," Jack interrupted loudly, "So don't ask me to. I might have, had things been different. If you had continued to hide it and people had died because of it, had you done it out of anything other than love," he stopped to take a breath, the two of them staring into each other's eyes, "If you had continued to hide it despite knowing that Lisa was gone".
"You're suspended for two weeks," Jack repeated professionally as Ianto swallowed dryly, "If you still need time after the two weeks are up to grieve then that can be arranged. If you need therapy then a therapist will be assigned to you, I've been told that I'm a very good listener," he added pointedly. "Do you understand?"
No. No he didn't. Right now Ianto didn't think he understood anything beyond the fact that he was alive and Lisa wasn't.
"Ianto? I asked if you understood?"
He blinked as his eyes refocused on Jack.
"Yes, I understand".
CONVERSION
So I've had this idea bouncing around in my head for a while now and I've finally managed to get it typed down on paper (keyboard). Also a fun fact! Janto is the only canon male/male pairing that I actually like, all the other canon dude-slash pairings – like Danny/Ethan (Teen Wolf) or Alec/Magnus (Mortal Instruments) – just don't feel right to me.
And if I owned Torchwood then Ianto would never have died, and we would have seen more Ianto/Jack happy-fun-times!
CONVERSION