Prologue

I do not own glee, all mistakes are my own

Coming through those front doors brought shear fear into Rachel – tremor shook through her, she hadn't been deluded she knew that the day would come, and had endlessly attempted to convince herself that it would be ok, not perfect but for once she'd happily settle for just ok. The false sense of security would be ok for a while. It would block the truth out long enough to almost make her believe it, even hear that it would be ok. But then wham like a tonne of brick reality would strike and the realisation would hit home – nothing would be ok when he wasn't next to her – by her side. Words couldn't begin to describe how she felt when he was next to her – the feeling of being whole, complete and content all rolled into one in. The only feeling she lived with now was empty and painful.

People were rushing past, chattering and giggling about their wonderful break yet Rachel had remained still with already glazed eyes. Her break was simply awful. Instantly she felt the tears cornering her eyes desperately trying to escape with the vivid bitter sweet memories forming, so she'd quickly rolled her eyes around before deciding to bow her head and make her way to the locker.

She looked around to see smily faces, and wished she could be brave enough to even fake it, unwillingly having listened to the stories of joy and fun were over the break felt like a knife cutting through her. Her break had, for lack of better word - completely sucked. She'd literally shed a million lonesome tears. She'd cried so much she'd been sick on several occasions, and it continued all through the nights that had fast turned to mornings spreading throughout the bleak days and back though the nights once again, but the tears remained a constant refusing to stop, just like they were doing now despite the trying.

Rachel tried to give herself one of her famous prep talks to help her focus – the challenge being getting to her locker without collapsing drastically on the floor, although in the back of her mind that would be an epic way to return, today she reasoned, required her to maintain composure and remain as invisible as hurried walk to the locker been the hardest she experienced in a long time but now her world had become realistic once again she was coming to terms with the fact that her actions had ultimately led to these consequences. This was her own doing, she deserved it. She cheated on him. But nonetheless a small part of Rachel had somehow remained determined that they would get past this – it was just a bump in the road – a hiccup if it were. Her and Finn – they made sense! How could she not have acted out, she has wanted him so much, so badly that only she should have…and Satan had him first – and that hurt so much more. Him being Finn and Santana being the devil being she was, made no sense to her, it was insanely awful and frankly diabolical. Anyone else - was all she kept thinking, anyone else would have been better, just not her.

Eventually somehow her actions, her wanting him so badly had turned out to be their demise and he ran way, embraced his get out of jail free and fled for the hills, like she knew he would. That part broke her the most – she knew he would leave, just like everyone else did. She pushed him away, no one else - simply her. All the defences 'it's not just my fault' and rationalizing of her actions in her mind had somehow made her feel a little better, the attempts at reasoning it through had probably been the only way she remain partly sane throughout the winter break. She continued in thought and it had temporarily drawn her away from the unwanted attention she as receiving.

Her focus had completely gone but soon enough reality snapped back and the blatant stares and the obvious whispering had quickly emphasized the fact the recent split with the star quarterback had spread like wildfire. She'd promised to bring Jewfro and that vulgar blog down if that was the last thing she did, but that was work to be done on another day. She reminded herself that regardless of all the drama all of this was just a temporary glitch in their truly epic love story.

She reached her her goal without any major scenes or melodramatic moments and began opening her locker, not quite focusing on the shadow that appeared next to her. In the back of her mind Rachel needed no affirmation as to who it was no matter how many times she tried to deny that this situation would occur, it had to eventually happen. She had turned her curious eyes and dared to look up, and what she saw was nothing short of nauseating. He looked the same from the outside, the same old gorgeous Finn not really concentrating on what was going on around him going about in his unique way, but when he turned and focused on her his eyes grew cold, his fists were clutched with anger, and the famous lopsided grin was now a hardened smirk. He looked so angry and hurt, and it was her fault. She tried to talk but stuttered and hurried away not bring able to maintain the awkward stance surrounding them. Rachel turned and attempted to start

"Finn..I.."

"Save it Rachel, for someone who wants to hear it." He had practically all but spat the words venomously at her and sourly focused his gaze into the distance. "I'm sure you'll find a suitor."

He slammed his locker and stormed off into the filled corridors.

Rachel turned to see the victim of his glare to find it Noah. He nodded in her direction but kept the distance, before leaving her alone once again with her contradicting thoughts.