Raguna was spending a normal day on his normal farm. It was getting late in the day, but forgot to water his crops. So he was doing that now! Man how he loved his crops, tomatoes and corn would be everywhere quite soon, it was quite exciting. Finishing that, he headed inside to go to sleep.

But waking up the next day…he woke up not to a nice smiling sun, but a hurricane of SORROWS. Oh how Raguna hated those pesky hurricanes! How he wish he could just open a can of hurricane spray and tell it to go away, well actually magic exists like that…how bizarre. He just didn't want to spend 10 magical creatures he dug out from the air that resides in his pocket for something that simple! He had better things to do with those!

Getting bored with sitting around inside unable to go outside cause it was dangerous, he somehow forced himself to go to sleep for 24 hours waking up the next morning when it would inevitably stop.

And after forced sleep, it was time to farm again! But oh no! Trouble! All his crops became stumps because of the storm! What awful luck! But it was no big deal for hard working Raguna! He immediately got his GIANT axe out of his pocket and got to work right away! In the midst of his work, he saw the cute mail girl Anette! And she had mail!

"Morning Raguna!"

"Morning Anette! Any mail for me?"

"Sure!...Whoa, your farm sure took a heavy blow! Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, my crops turned to stumps, but other than that no damage."

"That's awful still! Your hard work gone to waste!"

"Yeah I suppose so, but hey at least I get wood out of it."

"You're a really hard worker to be able to think like that! Oh yes, a letter came for you."

"Wow thanks!"

"Bye!"

And then Raguna opened his mail…it was from her friend Torte from Kardia! Somehow for a second, he thought her name was something different, but that's not important. What'd it say here? Ah, just basic greetings and such, I suppose I'll just reply telling her what happened today and that I'm doing okay! Putting the reply in the mailbox, he got back to work on the stumps. The work took an awfully long time though..it was already night by the time the work was only half-finished! Guess his job would never be done.

Taking yet another rest, Raguna woke up the next morning ready to get rid of some more stumps.

By jolly! It was Anette again!

"Hi Raguna! You got more mail!"

"Wow, thanks!"

Quickly exchanging greetings to see her deliver more mail, Raguna saw that he got a reply from Torte already! How fascinating! Let's see what it says.

"Your crops turned into stumps? You slept for 24 hours straight right after waking up? You have magical creatures in your pants? Are you sure you're feeling okay? Not reading too many fantasy novels or getting enough sleep? I worry about you sometimes you know, and also my name isn't lsdfijsdilfjSDFOIJiSDF."

Wow, that's a funny letter! Torte never spoke like that before! Guess I better chop more stumps!

And so…Raguna spent the rest of his life chopping stumps.

BAD END

"Your crops turned into stumps? You slept for 24 hours straight right after waking up? You have magical creatures in your pants? Are you sure you're feeling okay? Not reading too many fantasy novels or getting enough sleep? I worry about you sometimes you know, and also my name isn't lsdfijsdilfjSDFOIJiSDF."

Wait…This is weird! What kind of letter is this? It seemed like she was trying to tell me something…

"Hey Anette about this…oh she's gone"

Anette was gone already, she sure works fast! Maybe I should ask my other good friend in town!

Knock knock knock knock!

"Raguna! Did you come to give me turnips?"

"I told you I can't grow turnips during summer!"

"But you can go underground and then grow turnips there! It works GREAT! Trust me! Bye!"

I guess I better go grow Mist some turnips in the underground dungeon! And so Raguna bought some seeds for 10g a piece and planted turnips underground, they would surely become some great turnips! Mist would be SO happy!

Oh yeah…Torte's letter! Oh well, not a big deal, I'll just reply telling her what happened to me today! After planting many many turnips, he did the letter thing and went to sleep again!

Ah yes, the morning routine.

"Anette!"

"Raguna!"

"Mail!"

"Here you go!"

Mailtime mailtime, what a fun time! Why, it was Torte again! How does she reply so fast!

"Growing turnips underground? I don't think it's supposed to work like that…and Mist told you to grow more turnips? Just what does she do with all these turnips anyhow? You should find out!"

This sounds fun! An adventure! I should go see what Mist is up to in her house…

Just as I was about to sneak a glance inside Mist's house…I felt a tap on my shoulder!

"Wah!"

"Hi Raguna!"

"Hi Mist!"

"Where are my turnips!"

"They're not grown yet!"

"Well okay, but be sure to give me EVERY turnip when you grow them okay? I'll like you so much!"

Wow! Who cares what Mist does with her turnips? She'll like me! I better get to work.

And so three days later…the turnips were fully grown!

"Here you go Mist! 90 turnips!

Mist was blushing…Mist was blushing very deeply.

"Raguna…this many!...I think I LOVE YOU!"

And thus…I saw a scene…a somewhat scary scene. I witnessed Mist devour every single turnip right in front of me…and then something changed, it was strange. Suddenly I was at the church, and wearing a funny hat and..oh Mist. Oh Mist was beautiful..thats right. I'm getting married to Mist! I'm the LUCKIEST GUY IN TOWN! I love Mist so much…oh Mist, you complete my life.

BAD END

"Growing turnips underground? I don't think it's supposed to work like that…and Mist told you to grow more turnips? Just what does she do with all these turnips anyhow? You should find out!"

Yeah! I should find out. But Mist is sneaky…really sneaky. I should be careful.

Wearing my bush costume to go unnoticed, I stealthily walked into the Mist area..she didn't notice me, I think..oh wait. That's her in front of MY house, she's looking for me? It seems she doesn't see me though..and ah! She's going home. Lets follow.

Bush walk bush walk.

Mist suddenly stopped upon hearing this…crap crap! Still still, stand still.

The question mark eventually ceased to exist over her head and she continued walking inside…yes yes! Let's see what she does with all those turnips. Let's look inside and…hmm? She seems to be talking.

"I want more turnips!"

Hmm..I was saving this as a present but…

I had an extra turnip in my pants in case it was her birthday or something, I forget what day it is. I got out of the bush, placed it in front of her door, knocked on the door, and jumped back into the bush.

She must be pretty silly…since it took her a bit before coming out. And oh oh oh how she was happy to see that turnip. She..took a quick look around? Was she concerned someone would be watching her? Anyhow…she suddenly devoured the thing…it was strange. But…wait a second. Something just came out of her mouth? It wasn't a burp…it was some sort of gas…fog? This fog suddenly turned her mailbox into a donut on a stick, with the letters being kept inside the hole.

"HEY! WHAT JUST HAPPENED?"

"Oh…"

I got excited, but whatever.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO THE MAILBOX?"

"What are you talking about Raguna? My mailbox is right here!"

"But…but it's a donut now!"

"It's always been a donut silly!"

"Hmm…I guess it was always a donut..wait…no…I ..don't think …it was."

"Oh my my my, it's not working on you?"

"…what are you talking about?"

"I suppose since it's you I can tell you, cause you'll do everything I say cause you love me!"

"Yes, I love you!"

"Teehee~ I know. Well anyway, every time I eat a Turnip, I let out a mist that changes reality in this village. Cause that's my name! Mist! I find reality so boring…so I thought I'd do something like this to make everyone happier! Isn't it fun to see magic in the air and put them in your pants? Isn't it cool to grow turnips underground? Isn't it just EXCITING to see the story change from third to first person in the middle of the story for no reason?"

"So basically, you're eating logic?"

"Yeah! Except by eating these turnips and burping it changes reality, so these turnips are actually made of nonsense, not logic."

"Ah I see. It makes sense! By making reality more fantasy like, everyone has more fun!"

"I knew you'd agree! So you gave me this turnip right?"

"I sure did!"

"Thanks so much! You're the best, so go grow me some more okay?"

"Sure!"

And so, I grew more and more and more turnips for Mist, and it changed reality to the point where the universe got destroyed, but Mist loved me and I was happy.

BAD END

Three strikes and you're out Raguna.

"Wha what?"

"Fanfics don't have unlimited loads like video games do, just three."

"I've never heard of such a rule before…"

"Of course you haven't, you're just a simple character, don't argue with me."

"But then..who are you?"

"The author, and I liked that ending, and even if you don't too bad."

"Hmm…well okay."

REAL END