C'est moi, again! I've been so inspired recently, and it's all down to the Harry Potter Fanfiction Challenges forum which is an absolutely brilliant place whether you've got writer's block you want to get rid of or if you're just looking for something challenging! This is the first part of an entry for Griffinesque's Tragedy Challenge :)

"Seamus! For God's sake, get your arse out the shower! I get that you need a little more time than I do to make yourself handsome but we're going to be late, and you know how annoyed Lavender gets when people are late!" Dean yelled over the rush of the shower, banging twice on the door to emphasise his words. He knew Seamus loved the shower in their new apartment, but this an hour was pushing it a little bit. And Dean hadn't even started getting ready because there was only one shower in their small apartment and Seamus had bagged it first.

Speak of the devil and the devil shall appear, Seamus stepped out of the door moments after Dean had had the thought and grinned at the annoyed look on Dean's face. He was fully dressed and had carefully gelled his hair so it looked ruffled but not as if it had been made to look like so.

"You couldn't have got dressed and done your hair in your room?" Dean asked in exasperation. Seamus just shrugged and disappeared into the kitchen as Dean went in to shower. When he came out, ten minutes later with a towel wrapped round his waist, Seamus was sitting on the sofa eating a massive sandwich.

"Dean, hurry up won't ya? I'm getting bored here," Seamus commented teasingly, smirking at Dean. Dean chose to ignore his best friend's comment as he went into his room and rifled through his wardrobe for a shirt that didn't look like it had been thrown up on. He loved his grandmother's birthday presents…

"Seamus, you know there's going to be food at the party, right? Like, our favourite kinds of food because it's a party for us?" Dean called, pulling a decent shirt over his head before he wandered into the living room to begin the hunt for his shoes.

"Yes, Dean, I'm perfectly aware that this is a party to celebrate our new apartment and it's being held in honour of, well, us but Lavender looks for any chance to throw a party. And may I remind you that you're not my Mum!" Seamus got up and trailed back into the kitchen, coming out with a donut and a cheeky grin. Dean shook his head at him with disbelief.

"You're as bad as Ron used to be."

"It's for the journey?" Seamus said, as if he could get the answer wrong.

"Seamus, we're Apparating." Dean said with exasperation.

"Oh my gosh, you guys made it!" Parvati opened the door and squealed at the sight of them, even managing to fit in a happy clapping bounce up and down. She hadn't changed much. "Lavender isn't happy; you guys are nearly twenty minutes late!" She opened the door fully to let them in and beamed as they both stopped and stared at her for a moment; thinking she was stunning them with her beauty. In actual fact, they were kind of taken aback by the amount of skin she had on show. Her dress was extremely short and very low-cut as well. Parvati giggled and twirled, making them gape even more.

"Well, pick your jaws off the floor and come in! I'm afraid we got started without you…" Parvati trailed off as they walked into the girls' apartment to see the party in full blast; music pounding, people dancing, and, of course, drinks in hand. Parvati smiled at both of them, and then disappeared into the crowd.

"Is a dress that short even legal?" Seamus hissed to Dean, his eyes glued to the wall of people that Parvati had disappeared into.

"Well, if Parvati's is, then Lavender's definitely isn't," Dean replied in an undertone, nodding his head towards where their host was busy choosing a drink over on an overflowing table by the window. Dean was worried that Seamus's eyes would actually pop out of his head at the sight of the blonde girl in a dress that was very short, very tight, and very to-the-point. A chuckle left Dean's mouth as he glanced over at his best friend who didn't actually seem capable of coherent thought or speech.

"Do you reckon you can handle going to talk to our host?" Dean teased and Seamus closed his mouth, his eyes still completely wide making him look even more gormless than usual. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, looking somewhat like one of the fish Lockhart had shown them once (Ahh, yes, the fearsome Golden Guppy Fish! This one was nearly my undoing but I conquered it with a marvellous spell which is really quite simple…) which made Dean smirk at the memory of how their "dreamy golden-haired dreamboat with his dreamy blue dreamy eyes" had then nearly blown up the classroom. He didn't give his friend a chance to answer before he grabbed his arm and pulled him through the crowd to where Lavender was standing.

"Deaaaaaaaaaaaan, Seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeamus!" She slurred upon seeing them. Dean reached her before Seamus and kissed her lightly on the cheek, discreetly turning his face so he could dust off the make-up that had transferred onto her face without her noticing. He doubted she would have noticed had he not turned away, she was too busy greeting Seamus in an enthusiastically drunk manner. He wondered how much lipstick would be left on Lavender's face when she finished… kissing Seamus's cheeks. He also wondered how much she'd had to drink already.

"It's so good that you guys came! I mean, we were having a pretty awesome time before you guys showed up but now? Now the party can really get started! You guys, I love you both so much! Why do you not have drinks? Did I not give you drinks? Why was I at the drinks table, if I wasn't getting you drinks? Aw, guys, come here. Come and give me a hug. I've missed you guys!" Dean chuckled out loud; he'd forgotten just how hilarious drunk Lavender was. She managed to become both extremely forgetful and full to the brim with love. She roped them both in for a hug, then shoved drinks into both of their hands and disappeared into the crowd without another word. Seamus stared after her, lipstick smeared on his cheek. His eyes trained on her ass, he shifted uncomfortably.

"I'll be right back," he muttered and ducked down the hall in search of a bathroom.

It was a few hours before Dean and Seamus finally found each other in the hubbub of people – by which time they were both very drunk.

"Dean, Dean, Dean, Dean, DEAN!" Seamus bellowed with a fresh cup of Fire whiskey in his hand. He knocked it back and grinned cheerily at his best friend. "Guess what?" He drew out the second word, and then leaned in closer to him. "There are little, purple Irish men dancing around in the corner!" He whispered in his ear, as if it were some top-secret conspiracy. In the eyes of Seamus, it was.

Dean peered over to the corner Seamus was gesturing at and, not seeing very clearly through his drunken haze, grinned dopily.

"Seamus," he slurred, "that is one person. I th-th-th-th-think it's Padma Patil?" He questioned, trying out the word 'think' several times before he finally managed to get the beginning right. The two boys took another peek at the corner and both cocked their heads to the side at the same time, a small look of understanding dawning on both of their features before they both started to roar with laughter.

"Well she has not grown up well!" Seamus howled between gasping breaths of laughter. "How come Parva-titty is so hot and she's so… not hot…?" Seamus trailed away, looking confused. Dean frowned at him.

"Seemus? Shawmus? See-a-mouse? Shay-moose?" Dean fumbled over his best friend's name. "Sea-Sea-SEAMUS! That's it!" He slurred and grinned triumphantly, then frowned again and prodded his best friend's chest. It seemed as though he had gone from fairly drunk to completely inebriated after that last shot. "Don't be such a… such a… such a… dick! Don't be such a dick!" He declared, punctuating the end of the sentence with another chest prod. "I think she is BEAUTIFUL and I am going to and tell her so and I'm gonna get laid tonight and you won't because… because you are a dick!" Seemingly satisfied with his little rant, Dean disappeared into the crowd leaving Seamus to smile goofily at Lavender. He hadn't really taken in a word his best friend had said.

Dean didn't even make it halfway across the room before he passed out in a pile of tangled limbs on the floor, a silly little smile on his face. The people around him moved slightly but mostly just continued dancing, not too bothered about the unconscious person on the floor. At that moment, Theodore Nott tripped down the stairs and sprawled into the room looking, to Seamus, high as a kite. Seamus wondered why on earth he was here and then remembered he and Parvati were friends… with benefits. He scrunched his face in disgust for a few moments before he was distracted by Lavender and Parvati dancing very closely together.

"Hey Dean!" Nott had materialised onto the dance floor and was gazing down at the still unconscious Dean with an idiotic grin on his face. "Why're you asleep, man? You're missing the fuuuuuuuuun!" He slurred, then Seamus's view was blocked by Lavender who was sashaying towards him drunkenly with a terrible attempt at a sexy smirk on her face. She fell into his lap, completely distracting him, and hooked her arms around his neck. He could smell the alcohol on her breath but smiled goofily at her anyway because, well, he was completely wasted too.

"Seamus," she began with a serious expression. "You. Are. Very. Very. Very. Hot," she announced, prodding his chest with each word. "And I like you a loooooooot," she drawled, pressing her chest against his. He couldn't help it – he hooked his arm round her waist, slid a hand up her thigh and began attacking her lips with his own in a fiercely sloppy drunken manner.

Meanwhile, in the middle of the room, Nott was still attempting to wake Dean up.

"Come ooooooooon, man! Wake uuuuuuuuuup!" Nott yelled in Dean's ear, prodding him in the side as he tried to make himself heard above the music and the people around them. "Are you even shleeping?" He slurred, patting his pockets clumsily. "Maybe… maybe you've just been… Shtupified! Where's my wand?" He took several attempts at pushing his hand into his pocket before he finally managed to slip it in and drew out a small revolver.

"Enner-… Enner-… Enner-… What's that shpell again? Oh yeah, Ennervate!" He prodded Dean's chest with the gun, not seeming to realise that he wasn't holding his wand, and then frowned when nothing happened. "Why aren't you waking up? That shpell normally works…" he slurred, nudging Dean with the gun again. "Ennervate?" He said questioningly, shaking his 'wand' in confusion. "Oh my gosh! I forgot to press the magic button!" He suddenly cried, smacking himself drunkenly in the head with the gun. He frowned down at it. "Ow," he mumbled.

Then he aimed the revolver at Dean's face, shouted "Ennervate!" and pulled the trigger.