PLEASE READ THIS AUTHORS NOTE.
Ok, so this is my first HTTYD fanfic to finish and post on this website! :D It's only one chapter, but hey... I feel pretty good about it. :3 Ok, so this short story is really just a random idea I got about HTTYD not long after I saw the second movie for the first time. I have other HTTYD ideas, too, which include a very long fanfic which will probably turn into a series, a random idea that I actually dreamed and decided it would make a good fanfic (one of my few dreams that actually makes sense. xD), a series of themed oneshots, and a HTTYD/Frozen AU fanfic.
This fanfic is full of feels, and is really just a story told by a mysterious character who is reavealed about 1/4 of the way into it. I surprised myself with this fanfic, really... it's... pretty profound. But I'm not bragging... I've come a loooooong way. My first fanfics were very not good... xD
Ok! So I'll shut up and let you read it! :D BTW, if you like it, read the bottom authors note and tell me what you think.
This is Berk.
A lonely, quiet village overlooking a dark, troubled sea, overcast with a cloud of silent, somber stillness. A peaceful place, yet an air of sadness hangs over the entire village. The plaza is empty; there is no one walking along the paths, no hammering noises are coming from the forge... the place seems deserted. But if you would look through the windows of each of the little houses, you would see the residents of this village in their homes, with their families, and you would notice that no one is talking much, and everyone seems sad.
It isn't usually like this; it's usually a busy, lively place, filled with colorful dragons of all shapes and sizes, along with the burly, stubborn Vikings that ride, love and train them. Usually the village is hustling and bustling and busy and loud, and the dragons are screeching and squawking and growling, and the Vikings are conversing and laughing with each other... but not today. Today, there are no dragon races, no dragon training sessions, no Vikings riding their dragons at all. One this day, every year, the entire village is quiet and sad.
I'm sure you're wondering what happened to make the normally lively village so still and quiet on this day every year.
Well, I'll tell you.
16 years ago, on this day, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third, the first dragon trainer, as well as the Chief of Berk, the one who brought dragons and Vikings together, died at the young age of 22.
He was probably the most influential Viking that ever lived on Berk… and the most inspiring. He was an outcast on the dragon-fighting island of Berk until age 15, when he shot down, released, and eventually befriended the most dangerous dragon of all; the fearsome Night Fury.
That forbidden friendship eventually brought the separate worlds of dragons and Vikings together as one, forever. But not without a price; the loss of Hiccup's left leg.
Now that I think about it, he was probably the youngest Viking ever to lose a limb.
But Hiccup's influence on Berk didn't stop with uniting dragons and Vikings when he was 15. Five years later, he and his dragon, Toothless, defended and saved Berk from the power-hungry madman, Drago Bludvist, and the huge, dark Alpha Bewilderbeast. It was earlier that same day that Hiccup's father, Stoick the Vast, Chief of Berk, was killed while saving his son's life… from the powerful blast of Hiccup's own dragon, Toothless.
Let's get one thing clear; Toothless never meant to harm Stoick or Hiccup, and he never, ever would have done such a thing in his right mind.
But that's just the thing; he wasn't in his right mind.
He was being controlled by the dark Bewilderbeast, who was, in turn, being controlled by Drago; Drago Bludvist was the one who was really responsible for the death of Stoick.
Something else that happened that day was the discovery that Hiccup's supposedly dead mother, Valka, was still alive. She had been carried off by dragons when Hiccup was just a baby, and the anti-dragon Vikings of Berk had assumed she was dead. But she had survived; the dragon that carried her off never meant to hurt her, and she spent the next twenty years with the dragons… and then her son found her, or rather she found him.
It must have been hard for her; reunited with her family, only to have her husband ripped away from her that same day. And Hiccup… to be reunited with the mother he never knew; to finally have his parents together again… only to lose his father. How hard that must have been.
I know a little about that kind of pain; it's not something you ever get over.
Anyway, after the death of his father and the defeat of Drago, Hiccup became Berk's new Chief, and Toothless became the dragon Alpha. The bond between Hiccup and Toothless was not weakened by the tragic death of Stoick; if anything, the bond grew stronger. Hiccup knew deep in his heart that Toothless never meant to hurt him or Stoick, and despite the grief of losing his dad, Hiccup showed Toothless that he didn't blame him; the black dragon still was, and would forever be, his best friend.
Soon after becoming Chief, Hiccup married Astrid Hofferson, his girlfriend of 5 years. The two of them had the occasional fight or disagreement, but overall, they had a happy marriage. Hiccup promised Astrid that he would never leave her, that nothing would ever separate them, and she would never have to worry that he wouldn't come home, because he would always come home to her.
It was a sweet promise, but it was one he could not keep.
Two years after Hiccup became Chief, an army from a neighboring village, who were still dragon-killers and didn't trust dragon riders, invaded Berk, and the usually peaceful island was thrust into a battle to protect their own. During this battle, Hiccup was shot off of his dragon with an arrow, and before Toothless could catch him, he fell to his death. Toothless tried his best to save his rider, and ended up getting badly hurt in the process, but he didn't get to his rider in time. And that feeling, that horrible, crushing realization that he had been too late, that his rider had died because he hadn't reached him in time, haunted the Night Fury's heart forever.
Enraged by the death of their Chief, the Vikings of Berk fought all the harder and eventually drove away the enemy. Filled with grief and anger at the loss of her husband, Astrid killed the man who had shot the arrow at Hiccup, thinking that it would ease her pain somehow to know that her husband's killer was dead, but when the battle was over, she realized that nothing would ever take the pain away, that nothing she could ever do to avenge her husband's death would ever bring him back.
The entire village mourned over the loss of Hiccup, the man who had brought Vikings and dragons together forever, the man who had opened their eyes to the true nature of dragons. He had showed them that dragons were not bloodthirsty killing machines, but were, in fact, very loving and loyal creatures. The village of Berk would never be the same again without him.
Now, I know what you're thinking. Who am I, and why do I talk about this place, this village of Vikings and dragons, as if I've grown up here and known these people my entire life?
That's because I have.
Allow me to introduce myself; I'm Adina.
Adina Irene Haddock.
That's right, Haddock.
The 15 year old daughter of Astrid and the late Hiccup Haddock.
Explains a lot doesn't it?
My mother found out she was pregnant three days after my dad died. She often tells me that I was her reason to live during that hard time. She can be a little over-protective, but that makes sense, because I'm all she has left of my dad.
Except for Toothless.
I've known the black dragon all my life. He was there from the day I was born. You might even say that he's my father-figure, which might sound strange, considering he's a dragon, but when you think about, it makes sense, because he was closer to my dad than anyone else on Berk, possibly even more than my mom.
When my mom found out she was pregnant, she searched for Toothless, who had not been seen since my dad died. She went straight for the cove, the special place that Toothless and my dad had first bonded. My mom found Toothless there, curled up in a corner, hiding his face behind his wing.
And he was crying.
No one on Berk, except grandma Valka, had known previously that dragons could cry, and the sight of Toothless curled up, sobbing his dragon heart out, touched my mother's grief-numbed heart. But what really pricked her heart was the fact that for the past three days, Toothless had been there, alone, crying over the death of his rider… and she should have been with him, or at least wondering where he was; in her grief, she hadn't even thought of the black dragon during those three days, but when she realized she was pregnant with me, she says it was almost like a fog was lifted off of her mind, and she realized that there was another being, a tiny, helpless being, depending on her. And then she remembered Toothless, who was suffering as well, possibly more than all of them. So when she found him crying in the special place he and my dad often went to, she was struck with guilt, knowing that the black dragon had probably thought she had abandoned him. Or worse; that she blamed him.
My mom says that when Toothless realized she was there, his eyes widened, and she could see the shock, pain, and grief in his eyes… but she also saw something else… fear.
Toothless had quickly scrambled away, retreating towards the other side of the cove, and the realization struck my mom like a boulder: He was afraid of her. He was afraid that she blamed him, that she hated him now.
My mom says that Toothless backed into another corner of the cove, hiding in the shadows of the late evening. My mom then realized something; she hadn't yet gotten a good look at the Night Fury; when my dad had gotten shot, Toothless had fallen quite a ways, and while some trees had broken his fall, he had to be hurt.
My mom had then quietly, slowly walked towards the Night Fury, and when she got close, Toothless moaned and pressed himself further into the corner, but when she got so close that she could touch him, he just lay down and didn't react anymore. My mom realized that he was simply exhausted, and just didn't have the energy to move away again. My mom reached forward slowly, and touched his nose. The black dragon looked into her eyes and rumbled quietly. He saw no hate, no blame in her eyes, only grief and shock that mirrored his own eyes… but something else. Love. Toothless saw love in my mom's eyes.
My mom bent down to Toothless' level, and while she gently rubbed his head, she softly told him that she didn't blame him, that she loved him and she was so sorry that she had forgotten about him, that no matter what happened, he couldn't give up because she was going to need him, and he would need her.
And then she told him that they both had something else to live for… that soon she was going to have a baby, a baby that was all they would have left of the man they had lost; a baby who would need all the love and care it could get.
My mom then took Toothless back to the village to take care of his wounds, and from that day on, Toothless followed my mom around, never letting her out of his sight, and when I was born, my mom knew that she could trust Toothless to babysit me whenever she needed to take care of other things.
So that's how I've grown up; with a single mother, a single grandmother and a loving, protective, fatherly Night Fury, along with a village full of Vikings and dragons who have all taken part in loving and caring for me, the daughter of Berk's most beloved Chief.
I may have grown up without a dad, but I didn't grow up without love.
That doesn't mean that I don't wish that I could have known him. I wish that every day. My dad is my hero, even though I've never met him, and never will while I'm alive. I've heard so many stories about him, and when I was younger, I wanted nothing more than to be as great as my dad.
I look like him. I look just like him. I've heard that all my life. I have his green eyes, his auburn hair, and I've even been told I look like him in the face, and that I'm a skinny toothpick just like he was when he was my age.
To be honest, the only way I'm not like him in appearance is the fact that I'm a girl.
But that doesn't matter. I'm just like my dad in all the ways that count. Not only do I look like him, but I've been told that I act like him too. I certainly have a sarcastic streak, which often causes my mom to laugh, but at the same time she has that look in her eye, that wistful sadness, because apparently I just reminded her of my dad.
Every single day, I do or say something that reminds her of him. Sometimes I don't even have to do anything; she's told me before that when she looks in my green eyes, she can almost imagine that she's looking into his eyes.
Sometimes it hurts me, to know that I remind my mom of my dad in almost everything I do. It's not like I can help it, but I just feel bad sometimes. I feel bad when I make a sarcastic remark, and then I see that look in her eye… and I know exactly who she's thinking about. I just feel sorry, even though I didn't really do anything.
And then other times I'm angry. Angry at the gods for taking my dad before he ever met me, for making me grow up without a father, for making me look like him. Angry at the guy that shot the arrow that killed him. Angry at my dad for dying… and then angry at myself for being angry at him.
But one thing I can never let myself do is be angry at my mom, or grandma Valka, or Toothless. They're all the family I have. And I love them to death.
I've always had a pretty good relationship with my mom, even though it hurts me to know I cause her pain sometimes just because of the way I look and act. I know she loves me, and I know that me being so much like my dad doesn't make her love me any less… if anything, it makes her love me so much more, no matter how much it hurts her to see her husband in her daughters eyes.
Sometimes I wonder… I wonder what my life would be like, what my family would be like, if he had lived. Would I be a Daddy's girl? Would my first word have been "daddy?" Would I have all these memories of him playing with me, of him making me little things for my birthday, of him taking me for my first dragon ride on Toothless? I have a feeling I would. If he had lived, my family would be whole. Berk would be whole. We would be happy. But most of all… my mom would be happy. She wouldn't cry so much, she wouldn't be so sad all the time. She would laugh more, she would smile bigger… but the main thing is, she wouldn't be lonely. She misses him every single day, I can tell. Some people say she could find love again, but I don't think that's true. I think my mom's heart will always, forever be with my dad, and no one could ever take his place in her life.
Some things never change, and the love that my parents share is one of those things. My dad may be gone, but the love my mom has for him reaches all the way to Valhalla… and she can feel the love he still has for her.
But still, nothing can ever completely fill the hole in our family.
There have been many times growing up, especially when I was younger, when I would sit outside and stare at the sky and daydream. I daydream about several things…my mom always says I have a wild, creative imagination, and that's true. I love to create things, and I'm pretty good at it too. And I certainly didn't get that from my mom… my creativity is just one more thing I have in common with the dad I never knew.
But when I daydream, sooner or later my mind always comes back to him, and I end up dreaming about what my family would be like if he hadn't died. Mostly my daydreams of him are quite happy… I dream of him spending time with me, of him and my mother playfully bickering as I'm sure they did when he was alive, of him and Toothless playfully wrestling and teasing each other before taking to the sky… I've even dreamed of my parents having another child.
But sooner or later I have to wake up, I have to stop the daydream and come back to reality. I have to realize that there's no way my dreams can ever come true… no matter how hard I daydream, he could never come back.
But I don't daydream much anymore. I've grown up, and certain things have happened… things that have made me realize that I don't have to daydream to feel closer to my dad.
It all happened about a year ago; when something happened that shook my whole world so hard it felt like the sky would literally fall on me.
Like most teenage girls, I grew up with a best friend. Someone to share secrets with, to laugh and cry with, to be crazy with. Someone who can always finish your sentences and read your thoughts. Someone who knows when to listen, when to give advice, and when to punch you in the arm and tell you you're being over-dramatic. Someone who knows that when you say you're fine, you're anything but. Someone enough like you to be close, but not alike enough to clash.
Her name was Jaydlee, and she was the closest thing to a sister I've ever had. She was 2 years younger than me, but we got along just like we were the same age. She was also my cousin; her father was my father's cousin.
We had so much in common; we both loved the same things, acted in much the same way… and we both grew up without a father.
I think that was one of the main reasons we were so close; we knew what it was like to wonder and wish that your family was whole.
Not to mention that are fathers were cousins. But they were very different. Jaydlee's father, Snotlout, was short, stocky and obnoxious, as well as arrogant and loud. My father was none of those things. Our fathers hadn't always gotten along. In fact, before my father befriended Toothless and changed the world of Vikings for the better, Snotlout had been rather mean to him, calling him useless and taunting him. He had even liked my mother. But all that quickly changed. My father became the pride of Berk, and he and Snotlout slowly began to gain something similar to a friendship.
Snotlout died in a battle with a large group of rogue dragons, too wild to tame. It happened three years after my dad died; I was almost three, and Jaydlee was one. I sorta remember him… but Jaydlee was so young when he died, she had no memory of him.
Another thing me and Jaydlee had in common was that we both take after our fathers in appearance, while our attitudes are the perfect mix of our parents'.
But of course you've noticed that I use past tense when talking about Jaydlee… a year ago, a mysterious sickness swept through Berk, and several Vikings were killed… and Jaydlee was one of them.
I remember when my mother told me… I didn't want to believe it. I screamed and started crying, and my mother tried to comfort me, but I pushed her away.
I've never felt so alone, so depressed, like a shadow had completely overcast my life. I could barely comprehend what was going on around me; I shut myself in my room and wouldn't come out for days. The pain I felt was indescribably strong, it pierced through every part of me… I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep… thinking back, I understand how my mother felt when my dad died.
I felt like every important thing in my life had been taken away from me. All I could think about was that it wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that I'd had to grow up without a dad, and it wasn't fair that my best friend, my cousin, my sister in every way that counted, was ripped away from me and I had to stay here and suffer without her.
Finally, I couldn't stand it any longer. My mind was so weary and clouded with grief and utter despair that I wanted one thing… to be with her and my dad. If the gods decided that Valhalla was the place for my dad and best friend, then it was for me too.
I crept out of the house at night while my mother was sleeping, and I ran to Gobber's forge, snuck in, grabbed a dagger, and ran through the woods all the way to the cove that my dad had bonded with Toothless in.
And there, tears streaming down my face, I held the dagger over my chest, and prepared to end it all.
But just as I raised my arm, a sudden, strong gust of wind blew around me, and almost knocked me off my feet. It startled me, and I struggled to keep my balance, but then… I felt it. A change in the atmosphere. Suddenly I was surrounded by a peaceful feeling of calm, a presence… as if something… no, someone, was with me. Someone I knew and was comfortable with... someone I loved and trusted.
My eyes went wide as I realized what, or rather, who, it was. There was no doubt in my mind. I may not have ever known him… but I just knew.
It was him.
I couldn't move, could barely think. I stood frozen, holding the dagger above my heart. All I knew was that he was with me... the one person I'd always wished I could know.
I felt a gentle hand on my arm. I didn't dare turn and look. But I wasn't afraid. Quite the opposite; I felt at home. This was someone I had wished my entire life I could know; there was no reason to be afraid.
Suddenly, images started swirling through my mind... my mom, my grandmother, Toothless... I saw the face of a rather handsome dark-haired man, who I didn't recognize, but somehow felt drawn to... and then I saw the face of a little boy, a boy with dark hair and green eyes... my green eyes. I saw his adorable face light up in a smile as he ran towards the same man I'd seen before...and a woman... a woman who looked very much like... me.
I gasped and blinked my eyes as the vision faded. My arm dropped to my side, the dagger still clutched in it.
I had just seen my future. I had just seen my future family... my future son.
That was when I decided... No. I couldn't do it. I had too much to live for. What I had already lost couldn't compare to what would be lost if I gave up.
With one swift movement, I threw the dagger into the lake and watched as it sank to the bottom.
I still felt him; still felt his hand on my arm, and I still wasn't afraid. His hand moved to my shoulder, and his presence felt closer as I heard it... that one sound I'd wanted to hear my whole life... the sound of my dad's voice. It wasn't whispery and ghost-like as you would imagine... it sounded just like I'd imagined it would have if he had never died.
What he said has stayed with me ever since.
This is what he said.
"I know what it is to feel alone. I know what it is to be mad at the gods for taking away everything I loved... or taking me from it."
I felt my throat tighten as I tried to keep my tears from escaping, as his voice continued.
"I know you probably think Valhalla is a wonderful place... but it wasn't for me. I had to stay there, knowing that everything I cared about was here. I missed out on watching you grow up, and being a part of your life... I want you to know that if I could go back and changed what happened that day, I would."
The tears started to roll down my face, and I sobbed silently as his voice grew softer and more tender.
"But I can't."
I felt his hand move from my shoulder and hold my hand... I didn't dare look at my hand, kind of afraid to. But I forgot my fear when he continued.
"Just know that I love you. I always have, and I always will. And someday you will be with me and Jaydlee... but now is not that time."
I opened my mouth to speak, but my words got caught in my throat... I swallowed and tried again, my voice shaky and soft.
"How... how do I go on?"
The air around me shifted, and I could literally feel his love around me as he softly replied, "One day at a time. When you stumble, and you feel alone, always know that I love you, and my love is always with you... in your heart."
I shakily sobbed as his words sunk in, and I felt his presence slowly fade, and as the wind died down I heard his voice softly say, "You're never alone."
Then he was gone. I stood in the cove alone... but his words echoed in my mind, and I knew that from that day forward, I would never be truly alone.
I stayed in the cove for a while, thinking over what had happened... I fell asleep there, sitting on the ground, leaning against a large rock.
I was woken up the next morning by sticky, un-washable saliva from a certain black dragon. Apparently my mom had woken up to find that I wasn't in bed, and had basically freaked out and sent Toothless to look for me. I guess it made sense, since I had refused to come out of my room for the last few days, and suddenly I turn up missing.
I went home to her, and when she hugged me and asked where the heck had I been, I decided not to tell her what had happened to me, or what I had almost done. She might not believe it if I told her what happened, and she would freak out if I told her what I nearly did. So I told her that I had gone out for a walk to clear my head and fell asleep at the cove. I'm still not sure she believed me, but she didn't ask any more questions.
I know that she saw a difference in me over the next few days though... I felt a difference in myself. I had seen a glimpse of what the future held for me... just a glimpse, but that had been more than enough. I had felt my dad with me, if only for a minute, and I had heard his voice. He had given me hope when I had none... he had shown me what would never be if I chose to take my life... he showed me he loved me... he loved me enough to come to me when I needed him the most; to save me from my own actions. I knew that his love would always be in my heart for the rest of my life, and I knew I would never be the same.
I realize that he had given up something when he came to me that night. If I had gone through with my plan that night and died, I would have been with him; and not only would I have been with him, he would have been with me; the daughter he never knew, the daughter he was taken away from. He had waited so long to know me and tell me everything he'd wanted to tell me, but he was willing to wait longer if it meant that I would fulfill everything I was meant to fulfill. Yes, if I had died that night, his waiting would be over, but he loved me too much to let me do that. He was, and still is, willing to wait until my time here truly is over and I've accomplished everything I was meant to.
And I know that one day his waiting will be over... one day my mother's pain of missing him will be over... one day my grandmother will finally be with her husband and son...one day that dad-sized hole in my heart will be filled... one day the first dragon rider and his best friend will be together again...forever.
But until then, I will go on. I will live life to the fullest, enjoying every day I get to live; every sunrise, every dragon ride, every laugh and every hug from the ones I love... knowing that my dad is looking down on me and smiling... glad that I made the choice to go on; the choice to live.
Sometimes when I sleep, I dream about the man and little boy I saw in the vision I had that night at the cove. I wonder about them; I wonder what the man's name is, I wonder when I will meet him, when I will know its love, when he will tell me how he feels... or if I will be the one to tell him first. I wonder what our wedding will be like... and I wonder about the look on his face when I tell him I'm pregnant. I wonder what kind of father he will be... what kind of mother I will be; what kind of wife. I wonder about our son... I wonder what his name will be... I certainly know what I want to name him.
I know one day all those questions will be answered. But until then I can dream, can't I?
Of course, even after all that has happened to change my perspective and the way I think and live, I still have low moments. I still miss Jaydlee terribly, and sometimes I wish I could just feel my dad with me again.
But then I'm reminded of the words he said to me that night; that his love is always with me, and because of that, I'm never truly alone.
And I will keep those words in my heart for the rest of my life, and they will be enough for me, until the day when I run into the waiting arms of the one who spoke them.
And I know that day will be worth every moment I've lived without him... every tear I've cried, every sleepless night, every hard fall to reality... gods, how I look forward to that day... every part of me aches to see, hear and know my dad.
But I know that when it's all said and done, I'll be glad I waited until my time to go.
And right now, as I stand at the edge of this cliff-side, overlooking the vast ocean which is sparkling in the light of the sun that is finally peeking through the dark storm clouds, I smile and know that my future is bright, and no matter what storms rage in this life, I will overcome them, knowing what waits for me... on the other side of this life.
Ok. So did I totally waste ten minutes of your life, or did you actually decide this was worth your time? :D I personally think this is one of my best works yet, and if you guys want, I can write some one-shots about Adina. Or I could try to write the actual scene where Hiccup is killed.
An in case you're wondering, yes, I do have a habit of making my favorite characters die, and several times I have been asked why on earth I would do that. Well, I do happen to love to read angst and tragedy filled stories, but probably the main reason I like to write stories like this is because I like to make good things come out of tragedy. I like to write stories where the family and friends of the person that died are able to rise out of the ashes and move forward in life, knowing that their loved one will always be in their heart. :D
So, if you liked this story, I would love to hear your thoughts! But please, be nice.
Thank you for reading! :D