You're all probably like "Yay, she's back :D"
My followers make me feel loved ^w^
You might want to read the prequel to this, "A need to be smaller". Also, I apologize for all my grammar and spelling errors in advanced
Disclaimer: I don't own Vocaloid.
X.x.X
I walk back into my loft after my…playtime…with Luki.
The world is spinning.
I look into my mini fridge that has barely any food in it. I haven't been to the supermarket in about three weeks. I take a diet soda and trudge to my study.
In my study, I pick up my brush and start painting. Start painting beautiful shades of red, seeping through blue bodies that are slowly fading into the light.
Like when I put a knife up to my paper thin wrist, the disgustingly beautiful red just seems to pour out of me.
Maybe I will use some real blood in this painting.
I think it over, and decide that it's not the best idea, considering I have to sell it if I want to make money and survive.
The world is run very cruelly, is it not? Human beings thrive of green paper and silver pockets, so dependent on the source. The government has made it our only life line, after all.
My small fingers trace all the red lines that run up and down my horridly thin wrist.
In a parallel world, I bet people aren't dependent on the source. In a parallel world, everyone helps each other without putting a price on kindness.
There is a green, wonderful world in which I cannot reach. No matter how many beads of blood I bring up, no matter how long I survive without eating, no matter how many creations I make, how many men I have wrapped around my little finger, I cannot seem to reach such a nice world that seems to only exist in novels and manga.
I wish I could fall into a deep, deep sleep, filled with blue and white, and just slip under until I am no more.
And then there was just little me, sitting alone on the porch, with an empty glass in hand.
That was the first time I ever felt lonely.
I know there is something better out there. I know once I get thin enough, I can reach it.
Maybe.
Life is all about gambling, and if you gamble the most important things to you, you will either get the best outcome ever, or the worse.
Life is a game of survival.
Life is just a game.
I stare out my window, only to see the gutted, dead bodies of the rain drops to once again be continuously trampled on once again.
I wish I could scream. At the top of my lungs.
But then they would find me, wouldn't they?
X.x.X
Slowly I walk my way into the living room. I plop down onto the couch, and flick through my phone.
11 missed calls from Rinto.
2 from Kaito.
7 new emails, 3 from Meito, 4 from Gakupo.
1 new text from Mikuo.
X.x.X
Moans and groans can be heard outside of my loft.
I invited Meito over to play.
X.x.X
I do not like going to the park. The hearts of the people around me are too noisy. They give me headaches that hurt so much the make my vision blurry.
The green is also there. Everywhere.
If there is something I cannot have, then I do not want to be around it.
X.x.X
In my dreams, I am once again the ballerina I strived to be. But I'm sleeping.
I am frozen.
How was that for a first chapter? I hoped you liked it…
In this, Rin is more mature and logical, it seems.
I dunno. I don't write the characters, they write themselves.
Please R&R, flames are also welcome ^^ I loves me some good reviews to munch on, though!