A/N: I must be crazy doing this because I've never done anything humorous in my entire life. (Yeah, I crack a joke once in a while but people just don't seem to get it like they do when my brother does it.)
But this suddenly popped out. This is kind of (kind of, because of course we really don't have magic and all like what happened when my best friend and I tried to take care of my new cousin (oh yeah, that was the first and last time we babysat) but anyway…
So I hope you review this so I know where I stand. Anyway, thanks for those who've reviewed the other stories. Appreciate them all so much. Please review this too…thanks!
This is also taking a break from all the angst, drama, and things like that I write about, though this one is a little random.
Oh Yeah, this is only going to be one-shot. Hope you enjoy
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"HARRY! RONALD! HERMIONE! And oh, GINNY!" Andromeda Tonks exclaimed when she opened the door and saw the four of them standing outside. "Come in, come in. I'm happy that you were able to drop by in such short notice." Andromeda watched one-and-a-half-year-old old Teddy crawl around the living room. "You see, I've been called out by an old friend of mine. Said she was having problems with something so I was hoping you could babysit little Teddy for me. I left the emergency contact address on the fridge. Send me an owl if there's trouble, but I know you'd be fine." Without another word, she dashed outside the house.
Harry beamed. "All right!" he said quickly. "Ted's safe in our hands." He turned to his three friends. "Isn't he?"
Hermione smiled a twisted smile (although Harry could be imagining this). "Well, you see, Harry, there's a sale going on Diagon Alley right now and I have been waiting for this for a very long time." She bit her lower lip and looked at Harry.
Harry knew Hermione was off the list. He turned to Ginny instead. "Aw, Ginny. You know how much I'd love to be with you this weekend. This could be a great opportunity for us to be together. In the sofa in front of the fireplace to keep warm watching Teddy and all, you know…." Harry gave it up knowing that Ginny wasn't going to cave in anyway.
"I had my mind set on going to the sale with Hermione," Ginny said curtly, just as Harry expected.
Harry turned to his last resort, Ron. "Hey best mate!" Ron looked around. He was hoping that Harry was still referring to Hermione, though the girls seemed to disappear rather quickly. "Aw come on, Ron. It can't be that bad, right? Besides, Teddy is a little angel." Harry looked at Ron hopefully.
"Fine," Ron muttered. "But I'm not going to change his diapers."
Harry smiled. "Deal."
For an hour or two, Teddy silently played with his toys. Ron and Harry relaxed on the couch and talked about the upcoming match Ginny was going to have, which was against the Ballycastle Bats. They had the quietest time until…
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
Ron and Harry practically jumped. Harry ran to Teddy and scooped him up. "What's wrong, Teddy bear?" he asked, trying to get Teddy to calm down, though all his attempts to do so were in vain.
Ron looked at Teddy thoughtfully. "Maybe he's hungry," he suggested.
"Good point," replied Harry. "Why don't you go into the kitchen and make him those formulas these little kids drink," he said, still trying to get Teddy to calm down by cradling him, although he doubted that Teddy was too fond of being cradled because he kept on crying anyway,
Ron went into the kitchen. "Uh, Harry," he said. "How do you make the kid's milk?"
"You don't know how to make milk?" asked Harry. He walked to the kitchen carrying the crying baby. "Just toss in some of those things, I guess. I don't know how to make milk either since I've never had a brother or sister. You had Ginny, why don't you know how to make milk?" he asked frantically now that Teddy was pulling his hair.
Ron rolled his eyes. "Ginny's only a year younger than I am, so most probably we practically grew up as if we were the same age." Harry shrugged as he placed Teddy on the floor, knowing that he wasn't going to stop crying anyway. "Andromeda should've left some instructions. Well, let's try making one anyway. I guess Teddy won't notice the difference."
Harry nodded. He and Ron finally found something to make milk out of. By the time they were about to end their experiment, they noticed that it had already been quiet for a couple of minutes. Ron and Harry turned around, turning pale when they saw what they saw.
"NO TEDDY! THAT'S THE EMERGRENCY ADDRESS!" cried Ron. Teddy sat on the floor, back straight, as he chewed on the paper that his grandmother wrote the address on. Ron slapped his forehead and exasperatedly levitated the boy to his highchair. "You should've done that in the first place," said Ron grudgingly at Harry.
The two managed to make milk. Harry sighed and gave it to Teddy. "All right, Ted. We went through a lot to do that, so I hope you like it," he said. Teddy seemed to be satisfied as he sucked on his bottle happily. Harry ruffled the purple hair Teddy had. "Good boy."
Ron plopped down on the chair near them. "Well, that's over now." He looked at Teddy who still happily sucked the bottle. "He's really nice, considering that he was only hungry at that time." Ron started to close his eyes when…
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
"What now?" said Harry as he took Teddy from his highchair. Teddy screamed and threw his fists about. Harry pushed Teddy towards Ron. "He won't stop crying!" he explained the obvious.
Ron took Teddy from Harry. "Maybe he's sleepy!" he said, raising his voice so that Harry could hear him trough Teddy's screams. "Let's take him to his room and tuck him in. Maybe we'd get a little peace and quiet there."
Harry and Ron went to Teddy's room. Harry readied the crib for Teddy. Still crying, kicking, and screaming; Ron lowered Teddy to the crib. He looked at Harry uncertainly. Harry tucked Teddy in, but he still wouldn't stop crying.
"What do we do now?" asked Ron. Harry shrugged and carried Teddy in his arms again. "Maybe he's still hungry?" Harry suggested.
Ron scowled. "After having all that milk?"
Harry cradled Teddy. "What do you want?" he asked. It was rather a dumb thing to do since Teddy couldn't say a word yet. Harry looked at Ron. "What do you do to make babies calm?" he asked. Ron shrugged, looking helpless. Harry bounced Teddy on his arms.
Burp.
Teddy slowly calmed down. He laughed as he looked at Harry, a cute baby laugh. Ron and Harry exchanged puzzled looks. Harry lowered Teddy back to his crib again. He pulled the blanket right to Teddy's chin. Teddy turned and started to sleep soundly.
"A burp?" said Ron unbelievingly as he closed the door behind him. Harry shrugged. He had never experienced babysitting before. "All that crying just for a burp?" Harry and Ron went to the living room, back to the warmth near the fire place. "I do hope Andromeda gets back soon," he muttered.
Harry began picking up Teddy's toys. "Oh it's not that bad," he said. He studied the stuffed wolf that Teddy seemed to have drooled over. "Teddy's my godson and I guess I have to take care of him sometimes." He threw the stuffed wolf at Ron. "Besides, you would be doing the same to your kid once you and Hermione get married." Ron turned pink. Harry smirked. "Everybody knows that."
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
"Now what?" Harry and Ron ran up to Teddy's room to find Teddy kicking off his blanket and crying hysterically. Ron took him out of the crib and cradled him. Harry scratched his head. "What does he want now?"
Teddy's face seemed to be crumpling. Seeing this, Ron was alarmed. "Harry! Harry! Looked at Teddy!" he exclaimed. Teddy had his eyes shut tight. His fists were tightened and trembling. "Harry, he looks like he's going to explode! Harry!"
After a few second, a distinct sound came and a certain distinct smell came afterwards, causing Ron to hold the baby away from him.
"We made a deal about diapers," murmured Ron as Harry reluctantly took Teddy away from his best friend. He placed the baby on the changing table and wondered what he was going to do about the diaper. "Change it already!" cried Ron, holding his nose.
"How do you change this thing?" asked Harry as he stared at the crying infant.
Ron shrugged. "I don't know!"
Harry courageously took hold of the diaper strap and unstrapped it. With one hand on his nose and the other hand trying to wrap the dirt diaper, Harry motioned for Ron to hold the baby while he threw it away.
"We should really clean that up," he said, pointing to Teddy's bottom. "And I am surely not going to do that," he quickly added before Harry could open his mouth and ask him to. Harry sighed. Ron grinned sheepishly. Teddy kept on crying, but a little less violently now.
"Accio powder," whispered Harry. The powder appeared from under Teddy's crib. Harry grabbed it and shook it, but no powder came out. He looked at Ron questioningly, but Ron seemed to have no more idea than Harry has. Harry shook the powder case vigorously. Finally, all he could see was white.
Coughing, Ron said, "What the hell did you do?" He waved the powder away from his face. He looked at Teddy's. It was all white by now, him coughing too. "If anything happens to Ted Lupin, you'd be the one responsible," warned Ron, half joking though.
After cleaning his face and putting on a new clean diaper, Harry stood back. Teddy was now smiling. Ron set Teddy down on the floor for him to crawl around. He brushed some powder off his robes looking satisfied as Teddy made his way to his toy chest.
"I'm going to go wash my hands," said Harry and went off to the bathroom. Ron kept his eyes on Teddy, not wanting another chaotic moment. Harry came back. He leaned on the doorpost and watched Teddy play with his toys. Teddy's hair turned yellow soon after he dropped his miniature toy broom. Harry smiled. "Do you imagine us having a kid like that?" asked Harry.
Ron looked a little horrified. "I can imagine." He thought of a little boy with red hair and freckles throwing his fists about the air and him having to change the little boy's diapers.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
Teddy wailed loudly. Ron picked him up and looked at Harry who looked tired and clueless. They brought Teddy downstairs. Teddy refused the milk. He accidently poked Ron's eye as he was waving his arms around, screaming again. Drool came out of his mouth.
"What do kids like?" Harry asked. Ron shrugged and tried to place him on his highchair, though Teddy obviously refuses to sit there. Harry searched through the living room. He found Teddy's stuffed wolf. He grabbed it and handed it to Teddy who immediately placed it into his mouth. Harry pulled the stuffed wolf away in fear of Teddy choking. "How could he eat something as furry as this?" Harry asked, throwing the wolf aside. Seeing this, Teddy cried even louder.
"A pacifier!" Ron suddenly said. "Harry, look around for something like a pacifier."
"Doesn't he have one?"
"How should I know?"
Although Teddy was very reluctant, Ron placed him in his highchair and helped Harry search for a pacifier.
Ron stopped and stood straight. "How could we be so stupid?" he said. He took his wand from his pocket. "We're not Muggles. Being with Hermione long enough seems to turn a wizard into one." He flicked his wand saying, "Accio pacifier."
A pacifier zoomed across the room, hitting Harry's head before landing on Ron's hand. "Thanks a lot," said Harry, rubbing the back of his head.
Ron placed the pacifier inside Teddy's mouth and it seemed to calm the little boy. Teddy sucked and drooled. Harry wiped the drool. Teddy sucked and drooled. Ron wiped the drool. Teddy sucked and drooled. Harry wiped the drool. Teddy sucked and drooled. Harry and Ron couldn't care less anymore and sat down on the couch, exhausted.
Ron found Teddy's eyes half closing and took him up to his room. He came back down and sat beside Harry. "I can't imagine life with a kid could be so hard." He thought about his own household. "How the hell does Mum get through all this?" he asked. Harry, being so tired he could barely move his hands, half-heartedly shrugged.
"Wake up." Harry and Ron slowly opened their eyes. Andromeda, Ginny, and Hermione towered them. "It's getting late and you've both been sleeping since we got here," said Ginny as she sat down beside Harry who slowly sat up straight.
Harry blinked. "What time is it?" he asked groggily. Ginny held up seven fingers. "Oh god, Teddy must be awake!" he said and stood up quickly, making Ginny jump a little.
Ginny pulled him back down. "Calm down. He just woke up when we came home." She gave him a kiss on the cheek which made him turn red. Ron eyed them. "Now let's get back to the Burrow and let me show you the new things I've bought for you," she said excitedly.
Hermione nodded. "Let's go." Ron stood up. Hermione smiled at him. They looked at each other for a moment. "Oh Ronald!" Hermione gave him a small kiss too. It was Ron's turn to go red. "I'm proud of you for holding up this far without asking for help."
Andromeda saw them to the door, carrying Teddy. "You say goodbye to your godfather and Ron now. They took really good care of you," she said as she held out Teddy to Ron and Harry. The boys waved back at him. Andromeda smiled. "Thank you for taking care of Teddy. Goodnight."
"Poo poo," said Teddy, gurgling.
"Goodbye to you too, Teddy," said Harry.
"Yeah, see you around, Ted," said Ron.
The girls walked ahead of Harry and Ron. The boys carried the baggage for them in a Muggle fashioned way (requested by Hermione saying that they should to depend entirely on magic every time). Harry smiled at Ron, Ron smiled back at him. This was one of the greatest adventures that they had ever experienced, knowing that they'd soon be facing the same dilemma everyday when they get married to the women they loved most.
"What's taking you both so long?" asked Hermione, spinning around to look at them. The boys just smiled even wider, if that was possible.
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A/N: okay, that wasn't as funny as it was supposed to be, but hey, I tried. Please review. Thanks a lot!