This is for hans-the-hero for winning 2nd place for the Make Me Laugh Category of my contest! It is Cass/Tugger just as he requested!

"You douche!" I yelled stomping my foot.

"Hey, it's not my fault!" Alonzo claimed. "She came on to me!"

"Just shut up!" I was so distraught. I ran into my den and screamed into a pillow. I couldn't believe that I was the one being cheated on with Jemima. It was like the whole universe was out of balance.

"It's ok," I said to myself. "He just...wants to take a break. Right?" But he didn't. Whenever Alonzo cheats on a queen, he leaves the original mate forever. Or so I thought. He left Jemima for me already. So if he did that, would he have wanted to get back together with me?

Of course not.

Jemima is perfect, innocent, and naive; the perfect queen for him.

My screaming must have been loud because the Rum Tum Tugger came bursting in.

"Is someone hurt? I thought I heard screaming." He said.

"Why do you care?" I sobbed. "Aren't you busy with Bombalurina or something?"

"No uh...she and I broke up. She just...wasn't my type I guess." He admitted. He rubbed the back of his neck and sat down next to me.

"So, what do you want?" I asked.

He stroked his chin and thought for a bit. "How about I get you to get back with Alonzo?"

"Alright. But how?"

"Hmmm...I know! Alonzo likes the easy but naive types right? We can ask Bombalurina! She's the easiest queen in the whole Junkyard." Tugger told me.

"Ok." I said as we stepped out of my den.

"Hey, Bombie!"

"Hey there, tiger. What can I get you?" Bomba asked him.

"Cassie here needs to get back with Alonzo. And she needs a...professional to help her." Tugger whispered.

"Oh," She purred. "You've come to the right place."

Bombalurina taught me everything; from how to strut and twirl your tail to how to seductively gaze and raise eyebrows.

"I think that's everything," Bomba declared. "Now go get Alonzo back."

"Oh Lonzie!" I did everything that Bomba told me. Alonzo let go of Jemima's paw and walked towards me. I raised my eyebrow, put my paw on his shoulder and purred.

It didn't work.

"You're staying faithful then?" I said with a disappointed sigh. He nodded and tears streamed down my face.

"So...it didn't work." Tugger mewed.

"I guess not. I thought I loved him too." I said throwing my arms in the air.

"There has to be someone better for you." He told me.

"Maybe there is."

"Wait...who?"

I kissed him and said, "You." And like that we were mated. As time went by my longing for Alonzo lessened and I was truly happy.

Of course Alonzo got jealous. "Look, I've been thinking. Maybe we should get back together?"

I said, "No, Alonzo. We're over. For good this time. You're not half the tom that the Rum Tum Tugger is. He loves me for me." And it was true. Tugger confessed to me that out of all of his relationships, ours had the most emotion and the most passion.

I finally followed Tugger and left Alonzo for the last time.

I hope this wasn't too fast-paced. I have an announcement for those who have won 1st & 2nd place in the Make Me Laugh Make Me Cry...Contest:

The following users need to claim their prizes: Blazenaire Alda and Lady Sorciere. Is that everyone? It is a one-shot with a pairing of your choice. ANY pairing (that isn't slash, I'm sorry to say...you'll need a convincing speech for that one)! ANY! Don't think of me when choosing, but a pairing of you choice. Yes, I am willing to do Victoria/Plato or something like that. In fact, I actually want one of you to pick it. Just for the challenge!

Get...er, claiming!