She had a bad habit of doing that- running off without as much as a whisper to where she was rushing off to. I guess I couldn't blame her. After all, she was three years old, after all. Not like she ever grew out of the habit, but, I'm getting ahead of myself, and at the time I barely had enough wits about me to walk straight, let alone think ahead of time. Any child running off is enough to give their loved ones a heart attack, but a toddler girl in the midst of a new and unforgiving city? Before I could even yell out her name for the first time, I felt as if I would black out in the filthy Brooklyn alley we'd taken refuge in.
We weren't necessarily made for this city, and I don't think I, for one, ever adjusted entirely. I was raised in Natchez, a rural town on the banks of the Mississippi, though might as well have been a different country entirely. I couldn't think half as fast as the natives spoke, and the language, though still English, sounded Greek to me. I had been able to look out of my window and see straight to the horizon, our farm stretching out as far as the eye could see. Now? Well, my eyesight stopped at the skyscrapers towering in front of me, blocking sight of, not only my baby sister, but everything short of the sun.
I caught myself occasionally asking myself why I even left. What made me think I could stand the evils of the big city? Then the voice inside my head whispered casually that it was a lesser evil than back home. I was raised, sure, but not properly. I was the oldest child of Porter Wayne and his doting, though ever mistreated, Cosette. Her purpose was to produce children, our purpose was to work the fields or clean house, and we were all to keep our eyes down and mouth shut. If not, there was hell to pay. I can still feel the lashes in my back from his anger when I spoke out of turn, looked the wrong way…breathed too sharply. If he could only see me now…all of us.
There had been nine of us, fourteen years between myself and little Virginia, who was now in the process of giving me a stroke at the age of seventeen. The remaining seven of us ran through the streets, calling her name frantically. Yes, seven…Georgia never made it past the river banks. She was born small, her lungs too weak for even country air, so the good Lord only knows what the New York smoke would have done to them. I suppose that's why we took North's newborn daughter as a gift, though I'm sure my younger sister didn't see it that way at first. A happy accident out of evil deeds came from the second born Wayne, the infant now clinging to her mother's blouse as we scoured the streets.
Nothing came of our yelling, or even little Jackson's tugging on random people, asking if they had seen a girl that looked like him, but no where near as cute. Leave it to a four year old to bring humor to a desperate situation. However, as the first day past, any humor seemed to pass with it, and as day three approached I was in sheer desolation. My sister, my youngest sister, was missing in a concrete jungle, and we were all huddled, starved and anxious, without any idea as to her whereabouts. Needless to say, I doubted my hopes for a new life in a new city.
I hate to admit it, but I had nearly given up hope until I heard a tiny voice only feet away from our alley refuge. Was I hearing things? After the pain in my heart and whispers in my head, it didn't feel too far fetched an idea to be teasing myself. However, within a moment, I heard it once more, getting closer. There she was, my Ginny. Getting up so fast, I caused the huddled mass of sleeping siblings beside me to tumble, as I ran to her and lifted the child in my arms without a word. At this point, I didn't even trust myself to breathe, let alone speak. The others' voices seemed to blur together as I gripped her to me, the toddler surely confused, if not a bit frightened, but it didn't matter a lick to me.
"Virginia Rose Wayne!" I finally admonished once my head stopped swimming, putting the girl down long enough to swat her seat firmly for terrifying me within an inch of my life. As her eyes welled and her lip began to tremble, my heart melted and, despite the horror she had put me through, I had to lift her in my arms once more. My baby girl was back, and at the moment, I was too relieved to even be disappointed, let alone angry.
"Ginny! Don't run off again!" Rae Kelly yelled as she chased after the toddler. She had found the girl three days before and had been chasing her ever since. The little girl had spent a great deal of time babbling about "her beau", or at least that's what Rae thought the girl said. Rae rounded the corner into the alley and stopped short when she saw the huddled mass of children. As Ginny toddled toward the group, the young man in the middle stood. He was taller than anyone Rae had ever seen before and she stood there unable to keep herself from staring at him as he embraced the toddler.
She bit her lip when he gave the girl a swat. How many times had Cap done the same thing to her? But Cap had loved her. It was evident to her when he had cuddled her after a spanking, the way he let her crawl into bed with him after a nightmare, the way he sang to her as he rocked her to sleep even though he didn't like to sing. It showed in the way he kissed her bumps and scraps and cared for her even though she wasn't his own. Would this giant do the same thing to the toddler she had been caring for the last three days? She breathed a sigh of relief when he lifted her into his arms again. She could be mistaken, but were those tears in his eyes?
I never liked to admit I had cried to myself, let alone be seen with welled eyes in front of a woman. However, I was unable to help myself, my little sister showing up without so much as a scratch or hair plucked from her head seemed to blind me to anything and everything around me. Only after I had sufficiently squeezed Ginny did I notice the woman standing merely three feet from me, her gray eyes quickly looking away from my own. Between the knowledge that this woman standing before me had cared for my baby sister, and the look on her face, her auburn hair falling in front of her eyes, any feelings of unease dissipated.
She couldn't put a finger on what it was, but something about the way this man was looking at her gave her a funny feeling. Not a bad funny, just...well...it was something she had never felt before. "Well...it looks like she belongs to you, so...I'll be leaving now..." she said, turning to leave them alone.
As she turned to leave, I quickly stepped in front of her, Ginny still wrapped in my arms. "Don't leave…let me repay you somehow." Though, even today, I have no idea how I could have repaid her without as much as a penny to my name.
"You don't even have a place to stay. I don't need repayment," she replied. My heart dropped slightly. After all, a man has no desire to be reminded of his desolate state, let alone the fact that he's got his siblings in the same mess.
Building myself up, my dignity bruised but not forgotten, I tried once more. I needed to set an example for the little ones. After all, being an example was almost all I had left. "There has to be something I can do for you," I offered, unconsciously gripping my sister tighter to me still.
"I have everything that I need." Well, I didn't. I wanted to keep her there, to somehow thank her for what she had done for me, for all of us, but I opened and closed my mouth like a gaping fool without any idea as to what to give her or even what to say. Ana, my little saving grace, stood below and tugged at my shirt, looking at me and then quietly at the sweet faced stranger and back at me. She had a quiet way about her, little Ana, but could say worlds with her eyes in a moment. I had completely forgotten. Bad habit- I could be unknowingly rude when I was too stunned to speak. Then again, if one is too stunned to speak, then how can someone introduce anyone? Point and nod?
I suppose she noticed the way I was grasping inwardly for something to say, or even trying to remember how to speak, as she added, "Someone once took care of me and kept me off the streets. I did the same thing for Ginny, so I can't really accept any repayment," a bit formally.
"Well, you know Ginny, this is Jackson, Ana, Johnny, Carrie, Lee, North with Callie, and I'm Beau," I finally said, introducing us, going from the baby to, well, me, the oldest as it seemed easy enough without pointing at them. The girls smiled and the boys nodded politely, remembering their manners despite their current situation. I guess I was doing something right, or they still remembered what our mother instilled in us before she passed away. At long last, I seemed to regain some of my, well, confidence and added, "And I'm not going anywhere or leaving you alone until I repay you somehow."
"My name is Rae...and I know how to disappear on the streets, so you could hardly follow me home," she said smartly, looking me hard in the eyes. She didn't seem impressed, and I, to be honest, didn't care. She found my sister, she kept her safe, and she was standing there with her hair over her face looking tougher than half the men back home, and smarter than the other half. I had to pay her back, or I had to see her again. Two could play it that game, I decided.
"Maybe not, but I have four little siblings under the age of ten, so I have experience in finding people, no matter how far they've gone. I just haven't gotten used to this city yet, but give it time and I would have found them all in every nook and cranny on this island, so finding you shouldn't be a problem."
I had expected her to reply, but not necessarily to snort at me. "Why don't you try to find your family a place to live instead of following me around...?" She had a point, after all. Then again, so did I. How can I find a place when I don't even know where to go, where to work, and no one will give me a chance sounding like, well, the Southern boy I am?
"Easier said than done, Miss Rae, but I'm trying," I said honestly. It had been true enough. We slept in the safest alley I could find (I know that's a laugh, but it was by the police station) and each day would go through the neighborhood, looking for tenements, for a job, for anything short of a suitcase with money in it.
She hesitated for a long moment, before sighing and saying in return, "I may know of a place...it's small, but it has three bedrooms..." Three bedrooms? It could have been a tin can and I would have made it work. There was a problem, however.
"I don't have a job…I don't have any money. No one wants to hire me," I told her, figuring keeping it from her out of pride was moot. She knew I lived on the street, she knew my siblings and I were starving, and she had to know I was hanging by a thread after what happened to Ginny. False pretenses were off.
I watched her shift her weight, seeming to drop a bit of the attitude she had (and would always have, but that's beside the point), informing me softly, ""The landlady is old...she needs a lot of help." I could help. If I weren't named after a Confederate general, I'm sure my middle name would have been Help. I looked over my siblings, their faces dirty, their bellies touching their backbones in hunger, and I conceded with a nod. I could do almost anything right now for a place to stay, for a place to let them rest their heads at night instead of in this darkened alley. Looking away from them, I agreed to go with her, and while I had gotten some of my way by being able to see her more, it seemed I now had even more to repay her for.