Through Tainted Glass
Author: NGBlue R? Some cursing, to be on the safe side.
Summary: Time to have a chat after the happenings in No Future For You (comic-book season 8)
Note: This story will make very little sense if you haven't read the comics. Though it can be read on it's own I hope...
Setting: As said above, it takes place after the arc of No Future For You. It goes off into an universe of it's own after that though. So the things in: Anywhere But Here/Beautiful Sunset never took place...sorry I started writing this before those came out sort of...tho maybe you could still fit those events into this story. Rambling...I'm busy with a sequel. Planning to make it a trilogy of some sorts.
Disclaimer: Insert standard; I don't own the characters portrayed in this story, and I don't make any money off writing it disclaimer.
-x-x-x-
Giles regarded the huge stacks of paperwork that were piled on his desk with a hint of annoyance. Every now and then he had gone over the most important things and filled them in as required, but mostly he had just ignored it altogether. And now...it wouldn't be too long before the mountain of paper would overflow and spill over to the floor. He wished for a moment that he could muster up the ability to care about this fact, but found he really couldn't.
Sighing wearily he took off his glasses and pinched his nose-bridge. The day had barely begun and he already felt an tiring ache settling in his bones. Perhaps he really was getting too old for this. Then again that was a pretty cheap excuse for the current situation. One he had unwittingly caused himself.
How had things spun so rapidly out of control?
That really was the so called 1 million dollar question...wasn't it?
It was easy to blame it on one occurrence. But he knew the truth was far more complex than that. Wasn't it always? At least Faith had left the subject relatively alone for the time being, and for that he was grateful. Giles wasn't able to wrap his own mind around last year's happenings, let alone having the energy to discuss it with others.
They had spoken on the phone though. Although...two syllable answers barely counted as having a conversation of any sorts. He had been taken aback by her coldness, the icy aura with which she surrounded herself now. The clipped answers in response to his attempts to talk to her. She had turned down all of his requests, no matter how he had tried to formulate them. Not for the first time he wondered how to break down this particular barrier between them. For a while he had kept up hope. Thinking, that if he gave her time and space, she would cross this particular bridge eventually to talk things over. Like they had done so many times in the past.
Only this time it hadn't happened. And a few weeks ago, it had really dawned on him that perhaps...she never would.
Which was why he found himself in the current situation as it stood. It was futile to spend all these hours mulling things over. Wondering...if maybe his error of judgment when it came to the whole Spike-situation had been the start of their separation. Or had it appeared sooner still? A million questions, and no answers. Giles knew he was wasting time, and yet felt the ever compelling need to find a solution to this problem.
A weakness...a human one, but a weakness no less. He just could not bear the thought to never be able to talk to her in person again. Feeling...as if he had lost the daughter he never had.
Grabbing the newspaper from a relatively empty corner of his desk he leaned back into his chair, trying to get more comfortable. The newspaper he was now holding in his hands was the most complex thing he was able to focus on lately. It was surprising how a few small problems, and one fairly bigger one...could cloud one's mind so much.
Putting his glasses back on, he scanned over the latest head-lines, trying to pick out the more unusual occurrences.
Just a short moment later a loud rumbling noise shook him out of his reading. His eyebrows shot up as he mentally tried to decipher what his ears had picked up on. It certainly wasn't thunder, and whatever was on the roof had made too much noise to be a simple bird or cat.
His head turned from the front door towards the hallway that led towards the rooms in the back, trying to settle on what to do. The noise had stopped suddenly, but instead of that being a comforting notion, Giles felt his sense of danger shoot up a notch. Off his own accord his hands moved towards one of the drawers of his desk, searching for one of the weapons he kept hidden in there in the case of an emergency.
Before he could find what he was looking for though the front doors flew open.
Giles' eyes became as large as dishes as he realized just which person had stormed in like that.
"Buffy?"
"Not now, Giles," Buffy answered coldly.
He took in her demeanor and immediately noticed something was off. Her posture was rigid, tense, as if readying herself for an upcoming fight. In one of her hands she was holding the Scythe, in the other...he wasn't sure. He frowned for a second as he realized it was an arrow.
"Why are you..."
"I said not NOW..." Buffy muttered again. The gaze she gave him freezing cold, and she seemed to look right through him, instead of at him as she said the words. Her eyes went from him towards the small hallway behind his desk.
Giles was about to ask another question when he suddenly realized that she wasn't here for him. There was only other person that could provoke such a strong reaction. A chill ran down his spine. They had been here for a while...hadn't exactly made it a secret where they had started up their project. So why was Buffy here? Why now?
"Where is she Giles?"
"Buffy I don't thi..."
"I don't CARE what you think. Where the hell is she!?"
He swallowed around the lump that had settled in his throat. It had been a long time since he had seen his former protege so worked up. He knew better then to try to engage her into conversation when she was like this. Buffy would turn the place upside down if she had to, which really only left him with one choice. One he didn't like one bit... He just hoped Faith was up for the task.
"Across the hallway, second door on the left..." Giles trailed off, shaking his head. "What happened Buffy?"
"None of your goddamn business Giles...this doesn't concern you." Buffy basically bit out the words as she stomped past him.
Giles leaned back, suddenly reeling with discomfort. He took a short moment to compose himself before standing up and trying to follow after the blonde slayer.
"I suggest you stay out of it. Or actually...it isn't a suggestion," her voice rang out, without her head ever turning around to address him.
He sighed, his feet coming to sudden halt in the middle of the hallway. Faith was on her own now. There wasn't much he could've done anyways. Which just left the outstanding question on what the hell was going on. Moving back towards his desk he dialed a phone-number he knew by heart.
-x-x-x-
Faith frowned as her slayer senses picked up on the disturbance outside the room. She was about to stand up from her reclining position on the couch when the doors flew open. For a moment she just stared in confusion, but then her eyes took in the familiar figure that was now standing between the unhinged doors.
"B?"
Buffy stormed forwards without another word...and just as suddenly she stopped dead in her tracks again, just a few yards away from the couch on which Faith was lying.
"B?" Faith asked again. She had noticed the way the other slayer was carrying the Scythe. The other object she was holding making a new wave of confusion roll over her. What the...? Everything about Buffy's body-language screamed that she was looking for a fight, and Faith could feel her own body react in response.
"What..."
Faith's eyebrows scrunched up as she noticed what Buffy had been looking at. The kid that was still curled up in her lap, one of his thumbs tucked in his mouth, a happy little smile plastered on his face. Thank God he had been totally oblivious to what had taken place so far. But she wondered how long that luck would hold. Not wanting to expose the boy to the violence she feared would follow, Faith called out Giles name.
It only took a few seconds before she saw his head duck around the corner.
"Take the kid."
"Faith are you..."
"I really don't think now's the time..." Faith trailed off, nodding with head towards Buffy who was still standing stock-still in the middle of the room.
It wasn't until Giles took the sleeping boy away before the girl in question shook herself out of her thoughts.
"Who..was he...?"
Faith gave Buffy a confused look, before she realized what Buffy was referring to. "No he isn't. It's a long story...but let's just say it's part of my job now..." She sat upright her eyes now staring right into Buffy's. "So what's with the home wrecking?"
"Part of your job..." Buffy trailed off. "What..." She shook her head as if trying to compose herself. "I didn't know taking care of kids fit the killing-people job description, that's new..." She spat out, her eyes shooting daggers towards the other slayer.
Faith's eyes narrowed slightly in anger. Her hands balled to tight fists off her own accord. A reflex to the words that were cutting into her like a knife. "Answer the question Buffy."
"I don't get it Faith..."
"Get what?"
"You really did look surprised to see me..."
"You didn't exactly call me up ahead to say you were going to pay me a visit, and demolish the doors while doing so. So yes...picture me surprised."
"I'm tired of your games. Which just reminds me...what is your game?"
"What the hell are you talking about B."
"I'm talking about you trying to kill me...AGAIN," Buffy finally yelled out. Her anger got the better of her, and she stepped closer towards the couch. Her knuckles turned white from having a death-grip on the handle of the Scythe.
"What?" Faith stood up, moving into a more defensive posture. She really didn't want to fight...again, but if it did come to that, then she would at least give her best shot.
"Seriously F...with all this practice, I thought you'd do a better job. Failed...yet again. How many times is that now? Two? Three?"
"Again with the what. I don't...if you're talking about the pool...I'm sorry, and it's..."
"I'm NOT talking about the pool."
"Then what are you..." Faith halted mid-sentence as she noticed the object Buffy was showing her.
"Look familiar?"
"Well yes...I see arrows all the time."
"Jesus Faith...fuck this. You're not fooling me...you were spotted when you tried to shoot me almost 2 days ago. It has your MO all over it. Poisoned arrow...ring any bells?"
"I'm not...trying to fool you B. Come on...if I'd try to kill you, you really think I'd do that with a poisoned arrow?"
Buffy opened her mouth to reply to that question, but shut it again after a second. Faith did have a point. That didn't mean she was off the hook completely though. "Even so you were spotted at the scene, got an explanation for that?"
"I was here the whole goddamn time. I'm still an escaped con, you think I'd fly around the globe trying to kill you and nobody would take notice? Why not just ask Giles, he can confirm I was here the whole time."
Buffy remained quiet, not sure what to say to that, but she could still feel her body's demands to release some of the pent up anger she felt. Someone had gotten hurt...and Buffy couldn't shake the feeling that Faith had something to do with that.
Faith sighed, ducking her head away from the penetrating gaze that was directed her way. "You don't believe me...fine. I'm just saying...it wasn't me. I just want to make things right, is it really too much to ask to get left alone while trying to do that?"
Buffy was in her personal space within a split-second. Before Faith was able to react, she was picked up and thrown against the nearest wall. She could feel the wind being knocked out of her as her body slumped down.
"You're right I don't believe you..."
Faith stood up slowly, willing her body to not respond to the other's slayers actions. It was only natural to want to defend herself, but Faith was tired of it...tired of all of it. "Who's playing games now B? What the fuck do you want from me?"
"A confession would be nice."
"Tough...you ain't getting any. I didn't do fuck all. I already told you, I never left this town. Go ask your boy Giles."
"And you honestly think I'd believe that? For all I know you brain-washed him..."
Faith chuckled, shaking her head. If the situation wasn't so serious, she'd been laughing at the mere notion of getting accused of brain-washing people.
"You think that's funny?" Buffy practically growled, her teeth clenched together almost painfully. "A girl, a slayer, almost died because the arrow scraped her...scraped Faith. Do you have any idea..."
"I did NOT fucking try to kill you!" Faith all but screamed. "How many times do you want me to say that.."
"What about all the other times Faith? Even if you didn't...how would I know you wouldn't try again. Do you expect me just walk away, turn my back on you...live with the fact that with every second you're out there I could risk suddenly finding a knife plunged into that same back?"
"Look who's talking, who stabbed who again?"
"Besides the goddamn point, not as if you didn't force that issue."
"You're right, I did force that issue. But did I ever try to kill you?"
Buffy's eyes narrowed at that question. "No you didn't...oh wait...you were trying to drown me in that pool by accident?"
Faith sighed wearily. "It was...not an accident. Look it's a long story. Think you could maybe drop the 'tude so we could discuss this the normal way? I'm not looking forward to get sliced and diced again. Been there done that, got the scar as a reminder, 'kay?"
Buffy gave Faith an incredulous look. "Discuss what?"
"Everything? You're honestly telling me you came here to kill me, all by yourself? I know you better then that."
"I..." Buffy bit her lip as thought this over.
"Gotta admit, I half half expected the rest of the gang to burst in any moment to throw me into the chains or something."
"Oh believe me...they wanted to."
"But you came alone."
"Yes."
Faith slowly moved back towards the couch, rubbing her sore back as she did. "I promise I won't do anything funny, but please...talk?" She almost pleaded, as she gestured towards the space separating her and Buffy. For a few long seconds the blonde hesitated, but eventually she sat down on the opposite side of the couch.
"Why B? I mean seriously, you and apparently all of the scoobies believed me to be responsible for this attempt at your life...and you come alone?"
"Because I just..." Buffy trailed off. She had no idea what to say to that. The truth? "I couldn't believe it Faith. Even with the whole you-drowning-me thing...I didn't know what to think. That's why I came alone, I wanted to see you with my own eyes. I wanted to see your eyes, I wanted to have some sort of confirmation. I wanted the truth."
"I already gave you the truth."
Buffy thought this over as she tucked her legs underneath her. "The truth...maybe..but the whole story? Not so much."
"Where do you want me to start?"
"The beginning?" Buffy shook her head, a hint of a smile touching her mouth-corners as she thought back about how she had stormed in this same room minutes ago. She'd been so ready to kick Faith's ass then...or so she thought. And now?
"You have to understand Faith...one moment I was in our HQ, the other I got transported across the country, and some girl I've never even seen before tries to cut me in half. And then you show up, throw me out of the way when I have the upper hand, and you try to drown me afterwards to boot. What did you expect me to think?"
"I don't know. I...don't...know," Faith stared at the wall as she said the words. It was the truth, as much as it pained her to admit it. She hadn't known what to say or do at the time. She still didn't know. Everything had spun so rapidly out of control. "I thought Giles would've at least told you some of it. Maybe explained it afterwards."
Buffy had the decency to look sheepish. "I sorta didn't give him the chance. When I found out about all of this, or at least the small tidbits of info he gave me later on...I just got terribly mad at him. I still am...but it's been so...hard."
Sighing, Faith looked down at the floor as if it was suddenly the most interesting thing in the room. She'd seen Giles change over the past few weeks she had spend with the former watcher. If anything it seemed to be as hard for him as Buffy said it was for her. He had looked more sullen by the day, and his normal tidiness had dissolved into cleaning up only the most necessary things, and even then only when asked. She honestly had taken a huge liking to the guy, and it pained to see him this way. Faith wondered for a split second if she could perhaps reason with Buffy, maybe even try and get the two of them to talk it out. But then her eyes took in the still cramped grip that Buffy had on the Scythe and she immediately dismissed that idea again. Things wouldn't be that easy. They never were.
"I was there to kill her Buffy, because he asked me to. Said she was a danger to the world...you know the drill. Never found out she was aiming for you until I actually got under her skin...and she got under mine."
"So you really were there undercover?"
"Yeah...in a way..." Faith trailed off. She turned her head to look Buffy in the eyes, but averted her gaze quickly again. She hated feeling so vulnerable, but she needed to make sure Buffy understood. Maybe it was the only way to make things right.
"We had a lot in common B...if you'd disregard the whole snobby attitude that is. She really wasn't that bad, just had bad influence. Guy that was using her to further his own agenda, sound familiar to you?"
"The mayor..."
Faith nodded. "Bingo, then again that was my own doing, and maybe in turn Genevieve brought it unto herself too. Doesn't really matter. I was just going to do it anyways...but not until I found out about this guy's greater plan. How the hell was I supposed to know they were gonna bring you in that same day?"
"So why did you interrupt when you did Faith?"
"I didn't know what to do B. I felt like me and Gigi had started to bond, and I didn't exactly wanted to see you dead either. It was like I was just frozen when you started to fight. But then I saw him out of the corner of my eyes. He was about to fry you B."
"So you didn't interrupt to save her?"
"I..." Faith hesitated. Because really...didn't she? Had seeing the warlock triggered the events that followed, or had it been seeing Buffy about to take out Genevieve. "Honestly? I don't know. I made the choice I did at the time I did...even though it blew my cover."
Buffy ticked with her nails against the blade of the Scythe as she let that information sink in. She had remembered so vividly feeling the impact of another body, sending her through a window and into the shallow pool below. The overwhelming feeling of betrayal, and anger had shrouded her vision in a red haze afterwards. The only thing she had been able to think about at the time was to make Faith pay. Buffy smirked. She hadn't even considered the fact there were still two other bad guys walking around that were able to take her out at any time she had been trading blows with the former rogue slayer.
How was it that Faith was always able to provoke such strong emotions from within her?
"What happened afterwards?" Buffy asked finally breaking the silence.
"We fought..." Faith replied, trailing off as she relived that moment again. "I just tried to talk to her, tried to talk some sense in her. But...I failed...what else is new right?" Faith stated bitterly.
Rubbing her temples with her free hand Buffy wondered not for the first time how they managed to get into situations like these. The joys of being a slayer. Being the slayer. Yet somehow things never got easier, in some ways...they just got harder.
"I saw the news..."
"Then you already know how the story ends..." Faith finished lamely.
"Do I?"
Faith bit her lip as she tried to fight back her tears. "I didn't mean to..." She still remembered it all so well, like it had happened only yesterday.
She had just felt so connected, almost immediately after meeting the girl. Even knowing what she was going to do, hadn't been able to erase that feeling. She had been misguided, tricked...and it had been too late to make the girl see she was being used. Much like Faith herself had been at one time. The Mayor had been kind to her, but in the end it had only been about his own plan. She had no doubt in her mind he had cared though, in his own twisted way, but that didn't take away the revulsion she still felt at times. His ascension could've brought doom to the entire town, and that realization had been the one that had eventually pricked through the rosy bubble she had hid in ever since she had turned her back on the Buffy and the gang. She'd gone through hell and back in an on-going attempt to make amends for what she did. Despite everything though...she had lived, Gigi hadn't been so lucky.
And that was why after everything that had happened, Faith still felt like she had failed.
"Faith? What happened?" Buffy asked as she saw the brunette basically curl to a ball on the couch. Almost like she was trying to protect herself from something. From her? Or from the memory of what happened? And since when had she started to care so much for Faith's well-being?
"It just happened so fast B. I kicked her away, still trying to reason with her. I just didn't know what to do, how to make her see she went at things the wrong way. That this Roden guy was nothing but bad news. She flew backwards...straight into this axe... That fucking bastard...I don't know if he could've helped, but he didn't even care..."
"Roden? Figured he knew more. Did you get anything out of him?"
"Not much..."
"Where is he now?"
"Dead," Faith explained. "Asshole tried to convince me after Gigi died. Tried to make me turn on you, he had some sort of book...there was this weird symbol..."
"Star and some weird half moon below it?"
"Yeah..." Faith's eyebrows shot up into her hairline as Buffy described the symbol. "You've seen it before?"
"Yeah...but we got no clue what it means really. It's some gimmick this new big bad is using."
"Yeah Giles mentioned that, said he wasn't able to find anything about it in his books though..." Faith trailed off as her eyes settled on the ruined door through which Giles had left moments ago. Not that he had spend much time lately on those books.
Buffy just remained quiet. Not sure what to say, not sure if there was anything more to say. Other then the millions of questions that ran through her mind at that same moment. Questions she wasn't sure on how to ask, let alone if they could be answered at all. She noticed how Faith was staring at the unhinged door and the hallway behind it, and remembered the situation she had walked in on just minutes before.
"What about the boy?"
Faith looked confused for a second at the change of subject, but she shook it off and tried to explain the project she and Giles had been working on. "Little brother of one of the slayers we've been guiding. Their parents are both dead, and she can't take care of him much when she's working."
"I don't understand..."
Faith gave Buffy a quizzical look, not sure what she didn't understand. "Which part?"
"We have quite a few operational centers around the globe, I'm sure we could fit her in one of those. We could help her."
"And what if she didn't want to?"
"I don't..what do you mean?"
"Ever thought about the exact consequences of your decisions back in Sunny D?"
Buffy just gave her a blank look in response.
"What about the girls who didn't ask for this B? Remember what Giles used to say? One girl in all the world...now there's hundreds, almost two thousand even. Not all of them were trained, and I'm pretty sure not all of them would've been ready to be called."
"But that's what we've been doing Faith...training them...turning them into real slayers."
"You really don't understand..." Faith stood up, her back protesting slightly as she did. She started to pace around the room...the silence stretching for almost a minute before she spoke up again. "Some of them don't want to be a slayer. Some of them just want to live a normal life, or whatever has to pass for normal. A few are just as screwed up as I was B, they just need someone to talk to, to keep them from traveling the same path I have."
"And you think you're the qualified person to do that? I can't believe Giles let's you..."
Faith eyes narrowed in response. She could feel her anger rising again. "I don't need your approval Princess. There's girls out there that didn't have it as easy as you had with the whole slaying-gig, and I'm trying to help them, whether you like it or not..."
"I never had it easy, I lost a few of my friends, a lot of my life...I died...several times, don't you ever dare to tell me I had it easy," Buffy spat out, her face a mask of anger.
"Didn't really mean it like that way," Faith said, her shoulders slumping as she released a breath she had been holding. She hesitated for a split second, before moving over to the couch on which Buffy was still seated. "Dunno why I said that...I don't think anyone ever has it easy...least of all you and me."
"You think it'll always be this way?" Buffy suddenly asked. She still felt angry, but it was no longer all directed towards the brunette standing a few yards away. And it wasn't just anger either. Buffy just felt so raw inside from the emotional roller-coaster she'd been riding ever since she entered the room.
"What? The not-easy part?"
"Well that and the always at each other's throats part..."
"I don't know..." Faith said, even though the reply sounded lame to her own ears. "I just...everything you say or do seems to push my buttons. No one else seems to have that effect." Faith surprised even herself with that admission. She glanced at the blonde nervously, wondering what her reaction would be, but to her surprise Buffy's face remained relatively impassive.
"I know...because it feels like that to me too," Buffy finally admitted. "Maybe that's why I'm here now..."
Buffy didn't know what she was trying to say. Wasn't sure even what she wanted to say. Suddenly she felt so stupid at having jumped to conclusions straight away. Barging in like that, trying to do...what exactly? Really what had she been trying to accomplish? Was it the fact someone had tried to kill her, or more so the person that had been accused of that?
"So now what?"
"For what it's worth...I do believe you."
Faith smiled slightly as she leaned against one of the counters in the small room. "On that note though, we should probably head over to Giles, before he goes nuts with worry."
"Faith wait..."
"Yeah?"
"I also believe you're trying to make this work..." Buffy said, as she gestured the room in which they stood.
Faith blinked in confusion. She wasn't a hundred percent sure what Buffy was getting at, but she appreciated the gesture all the same. At least they weren't trying to kill each other again, that was a big step forwards right?
"Well...maybe I could give you a tour? While you're here?" Faith asked as she walked towards the damaged door. "Altho on the condition you leave the redecorating to the pro's 'kay? Shit gets expensive as it is."
"Right..." Buffy gave Faith a sheepish look. "Well you know where to send the bill. Also...might wanna have someone take a look at the roof too."
"So that was you on the roof?" Faith asked, an incredulous look on her face.
"Yeah...guess Willow's mark was a bit off. Let me tell you it's not funny ending up flat on your ass sliding down the roof, only just barely managing to hold on to the edge of it while puking your guts out."
"Okay eww.."
"Funny...that's exactly what the guy said that walked by."
Faith chuckled. "I'd have paid to see that..."
They walked through the hallway towards the front desk. Faith had heard the muffled talking from afar, and her suspicion was confirmed as they rounded the corner. Giles was talking to someone on the phone. The moment he spotted them though, he cut off his conversation and put the phone back on the hook.
"Oh...thank God."
Buffy hesitated for only a short moment before she ran over to the former watcher and enveloped him in a tight hug. Tears slipped down her eyes as her emotions took control of her. She had missed him so much.
"I'm sorry Giles...I was being an ass..." Buffy said, inbetween sniffles.
"I'm sorry as well. I should've been more honest with you."
Faith smiled at the picture presented in front of her. Maybe things would turn out for the best after all. Still tons of shit to wrestle through, but that was life, and being a slayer added a few extra layers. Yay and all that. Still an hour ago she had feared for her life...and now...yup it had been a weirdass day.
Almost at the same time, a sudden thought struck her like lightning. Her face darkened slightly as she stared at the front doors. Why hadn't she thought about this before?
If she hadn't been the one that had tried to kill Buffy...then who had?
TBC