A/N: Um, so, a bit of background behind this story. At Easter my father passed away, and for a while I couldn't find the motivation to write chapters for any of my pre-existing stories. So, I ended up writing this. It's a lot darker than my other stories, because it was reflecting how I felt at the time. Also, the title, Show Me Lights, comes from my favourite band, Friendly Fires, as do the lyrics at the start of the chapter. I strongly recommend you check out their music, my favourite album being Pala.
Seriously, youtube them!
I'll probably update every two or three days, since I've got quite a few of the chapters already written, and have a pretty good idea of where the plot is going.
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters, though I did create the plot
Warning: This story contains a lot of abuse, from multiple characters, as well as references to drugs. Hence the M rating.
Bella:
Sunset's dying
I can't wait to see the life you lead
Cold in darkness
I dream of what you see when you show it to me
"Iz, you want a drag?" Mike asks, handing me the weed.
"Yeah, hand it to me," I hold out my hand and take a long drag when he gives it to me.
"Save some for the rest of us!" Jessica complains, pouting. I just roll my eyes at her, before handing her the weed. Jessica's a wimp when it comes to drugs, only smoking them to look cool and try and get Mike's attention.
After coughing and spluttering, Jessica hands the weed to Lauren.
"Seriously, Iz, how do you get all A's when you spend most of your time high as fuck?" Lauren asks, lying down on the cool grass.
"Apparently my memory's pretty good," I reply, picking up the bottle of vodka and pouring some into my glass.
"Aren't your parent's gonna freak?" Jessica asks, raising an eyebrow at me.
"Nah, they don't give a shit." Hers do, however. They grounded her for a month when they caught her smoking.
"Lucky," Jessica huffs, flicking her hair in a desperate attempt to catch Mike's attention.
I snort in response, secretly thinking she's the lucky one. I'd never admit that, though. I'd never admit I'm actually weak.
We sit in Mike's backyard for a while longer, Tyler and Riley joining us eventually. They bring more weed and alcohol, which I delight in. When Riley sits down he wraps his arms around me and attaches his lips to my neck. He seems to have gotten it into his head that we're together, just because we hooked up a couple of times.
"Guys, get a room!" Lauren giggles, pointing towards us.
"Fuck off," I flip her the bird for extra emphasis, but make no move to get Riley off me. It's only a bit of kissing, what's her issue?
I grab the bottle of vodka, this time drinking straight from the bottle instead of pouring a glass. It wastes too much time.
"Can I have some, babe?" Riley asks. I frown at him calling me babe, but take another mouthful before handing him the bottle.
After drinking, Riley continues kissing me, his hands beginning to touch me. I'm not really in the mood, though Riley doesn't seem to notice or care.
"Wanna go somewhere private?" Riley whispers in my ear.
"Where?" I turn to raise an eyebrow at him, taking in his appearance. Out of the boys at our school, he is one of the hottest, with his blonde hair and blue eyes giving him the typical surfer appearance. At first I was attracted to him, until I realised all he wanted was sex.
Not that I didn't mind.
Anyway, last time we had sex in Mike's place, he went mental at us.
"My place is free," Riley tells me.
I shrug in response, so I snatch the vodka bottle and leave with Riley. We walk out to his car and he pushes me against it, sticking his tongue down my throat. He grinds against me before pushing me inside the car, and getting into the driver's side.
I drink more of the vodka, hoping to get drunk before we get to his place. I've drunk most of it when he pulls into his drive, and I'm beginning to feel the effects of the alcohol.
"Slow down, Iz," Riley says. "You won't remember it otherwise," he adds, smirking.
That's kind of the plan…
"I'm fine," I tell him, though even I can hear the slur in my voice.
"Come on," Riley whines, grabbing my hand and pulling me into his house. I'm pulled into his bedroom, where he quickly takes off my clothes and pushes me onto the bed, climbing on top of me.
Riley finishes in a record of five minutes, after I fake an orgasm. Like usual, I get up and begin to get dressed as he stays lying in bed. Sometimes he falls asleep, if I'm lucky.
"Um, Iz…" Riley mutters. I turn to face him, wondering what's up. "The, uh, the condom broke…" he trails off, holding up the evidence.
"What the fuck? How the fuck did that happen?" I shout, glaring at him.
"I don't know! Just get the morning after pill or some shit," Riley shrugs, not looking as worried as I feel.
"What the hell do you think my parents will say? When they find out I could be fucking pregnant?" I rant, pulling at my hair and trying to find my bra.
Fuck it, I'll go without it.
"Don't tell them, it'll be fine," Riley replies, calm as ever.
That's what he thinks.
"Catch you later," I say by way of goodbye, and then get out of his place.
I walk home, checking the time of my phone. Shit, it's after 8. My curfew. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! I run the rest of the way home, hoping Dad isn't too mad.
When I reach home, I open the front door slowly and quietly, hoping to make a sly entrance, but my heavy breathing gives me away, along with the fact Dad is sat in the living room, waiting for me.
"What time do you call this, Isabella?" Dad demands angrily, not even trying to hide the distain for me in his voice. I hate being called Isabella. Hence why all my friend's call me Iz.
"I'm really sorry," I pant out from running home.
"And you're out of breath? What's that, from your most recent fuck?" Dad stands up, towering over me. My eyes widen at his words. "Yes, Isabella. I know all about my slut of a daughter," Dad shouts, slapping me.
"I…" I trail off at a loss for words.
"Look, your mother and I said we didn't give a shit what you did, as long as you were home by 8 and got all A's. But today, you've done fucking neither! I got a phone call from your school, telling me you'd been rude, and you're back after curfew. Are you asking for a fucking beating?" Dad demands.
"No, I'm really sorry! My grades are still good, though!" I protest weakly.
"And to top it all off, you come in reeking of sex. You fucking, disgusting slut that I can barely even call my daughter." Dad finishes his speech with a punch to my stomach, causing me to double over.
Another slap is given to my face along with several punches to my ribs. Dad pushes me up against the wall, holding my jaw in a deadly tight grip. I try not to cry out in pain; that only seems to spur him on.
Mum enters the room, then, looking on from afar. She never actually touches me – to hurt me or to soothe me – but the fact she doesn't try to stop my poor excuse of a father makes her just as bad in my eyes.
"Renee, the slut decided to return. I wonder who she was fucking this time," Dad says to Mum, not loosening his grip. "Maybe if you're grounded for a week, the boys will lose interest. I'm surprised they haven't already." He suddenly let's go of my jaw, slapping me and telling me to get to my room.
I run hurriedly up the stairs, eager to get away from them. I climb into bed and curl up into a ball, trying to ease the pain. I'm pretty sure he's fractured a rib, and I'll be nicely bruised by tomorrow. All my bruises are just explained as clumsiness, while the others I try to cover up with concealer.
Only once I hear the door to my parent's bedroom shut do I allow myself to cry. When I was younger, I made the mistake of crying loudly, and got an extra beating for that.
My parents weren't always like this. It all started when I was around 10. Dad used to work as a police officer, and Mum as a teacher. However, Dad got injured and couldn't work anymore. Being at home all the time made him turn to alcohol, which made him aggressive.
Things only got worse when Mum lost her job, due to the school having insufficient funds. Dad took his anger out on me, while Mum stood by and watched. As soon as I'm 18, in two years' time, I'm getting out of here.
Until then, I just have to try and survive.
A/N: Thoughts on the first chapter?
Bella may seem very OOC, but I hope you'll stick with me.
Review, please? :)