Cry if You Need to Chapter One.
I do not own Teen Wolf
She's staring into his eyes. He's staring right back at hers. She doesn't shift uncomfortably like the rest of them do. Nope, she holds his gaze like it's his life in her dainty hands. Her breathing is so slow, that he questions if she's about to die. Their knees are touching but they don't seem to notice. Their used to being so close. They cling to each other like a moth to a light bulb. Her leg is slightly bended, resting on his hip as he rubs his thumb over her smooth skin.
"Stiles," She says so quietly. But he hears it anyway. How could he not hear they way his name sounds on her lips? It's like peaceful soft music to his ears. It's like a taste of honey on his lips. He imagines that her lips will taste like honey one day. When she decides that she wants to kiss him again. He gives her all the benefits you can possibly give a person. She once asked him in a quite voice, what would a benefit be? He replies, anything you want.
He doesn't have to hum for her to know that's she got his attention. She always has it. Even if she doesn't ask for it, she still has it.
"Do you ever feel," She begins. She chokes on her own words. Almost like she's scared to ask the question. Stiles hates that word. He doesn't like the thought of some one being afraid of him. So he puts his hand on her back and brings her closer. She doesn't look down at the itty bitty space she has left between her legs, which Stiles grateful for. He's not trying to bring her closer to do some heavy grinding. No, that was the last thing on his mind. He brings her close to reassure her. And to reassure himself that there's nothing to be afraid of. He's reassuring her to know that she can touch him any way she likes. He's reassuring himself to know that he can be touched without harming anyone.
"Do you ever feel like your useless?" She asks. It's not the first times Stiles has been hit with that question, nor is it the first time he's ever felt like that. Stiles knows that she some times doubts herself. Stiles knows that she thinks her only power as a banshee is to cause people ear damage from her piercing screams. And Stiles knows that she secretly cried every night in her pillow when the pack couldn't figure out a way to save him sooner.
How does Stiles know these things? Because she's his emotional tether. Every time she's in pain or when she's crying; he feels it right in his gut. It's not exactly painful. It's more of a cold breeze surrounding him. He thinks back to two weeks ago. When the saved him. He had never been so grateful for air in his life. He had been suffocating. Every time strife and pain happened, it would layer over his body like a second skin, making it impossible to breath.
Stiles is so dazed. He's looking at her like she's the most important person in the world. He grins and nods, almost forgetting the question.
"I'm being serious." She says as she runs a cool hand over his scalp. Stiles guesses that's his punishment for not paying enough attention to her.
"Feeling useless isn't exactly a new thing for me Lydia," He says. His hand strokes her chin gently. She licks her lips as he continues explaining his thoughts.
"Some times I feel like I'm not the normal one in our pack. You start to feel like that when every one around you is different."
She stares at this boy that she has so much love and respect for in complete amazement. She stays silent as he begins to trace down her neck with his finger tip.
"How'd you do it?" She asks. Stiles immediately knows what she's talking about. But he doesn't stop tracing around her body. They've become so close. So close that she doesn't look down once when he traces the inner curve of her breast.
"I mean," She wets her lips once more. "Weren't you scared?" She asks this because she's truly curious. How do you kill some one who could easily snap you like a twig? Some one who has caused so much pain? How could you not be afraid?
"That's the key right there Lydia. Fear. Fear is not real. Now I know that people say if you aren't scared of anything then you're not human."
But their not human. Stiles is not a human. He has a place in the pack just like everyone else. He's not a werewolf. He's not a hunter. He's not a banshee. He's the most powerful piece on the chest bored. They would be clueless without him.
He's their emissary.
"Fear is not real. Fear is the thing in the back of our minds telling us to run. Fear is apart of our imagination that's telling us to be afraid. But I'm not afraid anymore."
Lydia has a glint in her eyes. She's finally found him. Her missing puzzle piece; she's complete.
Stiles grabs her hips and closes the itty bitty space that was separating them.
He has a thought, however scary. About that night with the bugs and the dirt. Why was she digging? What did she bury before her hands pulled him from underneath.
"I would not ask you where you came from. I would not ask you, neither should you." Lydia says with a content smile on her face. Stiles smiles back as a tear falls across the bridge of his nose.
"Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips." Stiles sings along. This is their song. This is the song that was playing that night. At the formal. A night that Lydia had recently revisited.
"We should just kiss like real people do." Lydia finishes the chorus as Stiles wipes his tears with his shirts sleeve.
He falls asleep in Lydia's arms that night. He has his impossibly cold feet touching her ankles. That takes Lydia back to the night when they had rescued him.
Scott had gone home for the night but Stiles stayed behind and waited for the Chinese food that she promised him.
When the food had finally got there she sat his plate in front of him as she watched over his shoulder waiting for him to take a bite. He looks over his shoulder at her and she apologizes, making him laugh. She goes to sit in front of him and watches him eat. He stuffs him mouth and moans a little. "I take it its good." She jokes.
Stiles laughs which makes her feel warm inside. "Shut up." He says even though he's still smiling. She garbs his hand and flinches at the contact.
"You're freezing." She says. He nods but still continues to eat his food. He starts sopping up his shrimp fried rice because it's all gone.
"You know there's more right?" She asks gesturing to his empty plate. He ignores her snide comment.
"Can I take a shower?"
Lydia nods and curses at herself for looking to eager.
She gives him some pajamas her dad had left by accident as his clothes spin in the washer.
Their randomly talking about old memories. It's stupid that their laughing about Stiles and Derek being trapped in the pool by Jackson.
They have sex that night. Lydia doesn't feel weird about it at all. But they don't speak about it. They don't even bring it up. But she's seen Stiles so many times this week. Much more are to come.
Lydia is finally at peace with herself. She's finally stopped blaming herself for not saving him sooner. She's not sure about what they are. But she's knows that she's in love with him.
Maybe she's just over doing it. Maybe she's just his security blanket. Maybe she's lost him to some one else.
She's willing to find all of these things out. She's willing to wait for him just like he waited for her. She's losing her right to be wrong.
She's frightened to death; she's frightened that she won't be strong. She then remembers what Stiles said earlier.
Fear is not real.