This is my first zombie fic and it'll be posted in two parts.
Enjoy.
I'll be right back.
Yeah right, Quinn thinks to herself rolling her eyes clutching the cold, metal baseball bat closer to her chest, knuckles turning white. If it wasn't Rachel Berry who had voiced those words just thirty minutes previously, maybe she wouldn't be so worried. Maybe she isn't worried. Maybe fighting for her life kept adrenaline levels running obscenely high which was causing feelings that felt so foreign they could have easily been mistaken.
No. Quinn isn't worried, Quinn is frustrated. Frustrated at the fact that Rachel had once again told her what she wanted to hear rather than the truth and that was no longer enough. In a world where living was surviving by any means possible, the truth was imperative. Unfortunately that's something Rachel Berry lacks and was the original reason why Quinn left for Yale.
"I really like you Quinn," Rachel pauses, "more than like actually." Not daring to look into Quinn's piercing gaze, Rachel chooses to direct her own eyesight at her feet, watching how she was nervously shuffling backwards and forwards from ball to tiptoe.
Quinn sighs, before replying. It was the one thing she'd always wanted to hear from Rachel, yet now it had happened, it didn't feel anything like Quinn had hoped it would. Her heart sinks and in the few seconds she leaves Rachel hanging she thinks back to the internet research she'd conducted the night before.
'Pseudologia fantastica: also known as pathological or compulsive lying. If someone is lying or has the tendency to frequently lie, you may be able to catch them out with the following criteria (however this doesn't work for everybody.)
Lying for no personal gain (would it make sense for that person to lie in the context of which they are talking?)
Lies tend to have some element of truth to them.
Are they legitimately possible?
Avoiding eye contact.
Stories tend to change half way through or are changed when told to different people.
Lies are ridiculously insignificant (I did brush my teeth this morning, when really they didn't.)
Quinn runs her thoughts to an abrupt halt clears her throat and talks. "I'm sorry Rachel but I can't deal with this."
Rachel's eyes shoot up to meet Quinn's somewhat sympathetic orbs of emerald. "I, I don't think I understand Quinn. What do you mean you can't deal with this? What is this? I simply told you I loved you is that not enough?" Rachel finishes anger lacing her voice.
Quinn's brain ticks off her internet research in the back of her mind one criterion after the next.
Avoiding eye contact – tick.
Stories changing half way through – tick.
Legitimately possible? Unfortunately Quinn hopes so, but then again she doesn't know how truthful Rachel is being.
Quinn lifts her previously hanging limp hand to Rachel's shoulder and rubs it soothingly.
"You said you liked me, not loved me," Rachel tries to interrupt but Quinn continues firmly but calmly. "But, it's okay Rachel. I don't understand what you're going through but I want to help you."
Rachel takes a step backwards from the blonde of whom she is convinced is patronising her. The air surrounding the smaller girl suddenly feels thin and she finds it hard to take a breath. Her eyes are stinging with unshed tears and she wants to scream.
She doesn't understand what Quinn is talking about. What does Quinn know about Rachel that she doesn't? But before Rachel's thoughts can continue running riots, Quinn speaks once more.
"I heard you on the phone to your Dad in the girl's bathroom a week before school ended, about you being, um, you know…" Quinn trails off her voice getting quieter, not knowing how to finish her sentence without accusing Rachel of something she doesn't know a lot about.
Rachel on the other hand knows exactly what Quinn is talking about. "Were you eavesdropping, Quinn?"
Quinn opens her mouth to speak but thinks better of it.
"Actually," Rachel continues, "Don't answer that, but you could at least have the decency to say it out loud."
It's Quinn's turn to look at her feet. A crimson glow coats her cheeks and she wishes she hadn't stopped the girl to even talk to her now. She'd just seen her crossing the mall car park and as term had ended a week ago and no one had heard from Rachel, let alone seen her, she thought she'd do the polite thing and check if she was okay.
"Say it Quinn," Rachel forces out through gritted teeth, "Say what I am. Go on. Say it!" Rachel shouts visibly seething almost spitting at the blonde.
"You're um," Quinn mumbles, "Look Rachel, please don't make me…"
"Say it," Rachel demands.
"Liar, Rachel. You're a liar," Quinn replies in a downtrodden voice as if she is ashamed to admit the truth.
"Yes Quinn, my full condition deems me as a pathological liar. Is that why you can't do this? Because you don't believe me? Or do you not want to believe me. I thought it's what you wanted. I know you like me too."
Quinn doesn't reply straight away. She's not sure what's to say. Her heart pounds against her ribs. It gets faster. Beats harder. It is everything she's wanted to hear. She's wanted to hear it for so long. She knew Rachel liked her. Subtle hints here. Notes in her locker there. Things changed however, when Quinn overheard Rachel's conversation with her Dad. By what Quinn heard Rachel's Dad was checking she was on her way home. Rachel claimed she was but obviously Quinn knew otherwise.
Quinn couldn't understand why Rachel would lie about something so pointless. She'd stopped off to freshen up in the girl's bathroom before leaving school, what was so wrong about being honest about that. Quinn's confusion continued and it wasn't until Rachel started raising her voice that Quinn had realised what was going on. The girl occupying the phone began shouting and claiming that just because 'I have a tendency to lie' doesn't mean I am this time, 'I thought you trusted me, diagnosed as a pathological liar or not.' And at that, she'd hung up the phone.
Rachel breaks the silence between them. "I have to go," and with that Rachel turns on her heel and continues the walk to her car, only looking back to say, "There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting."
In the dim light Quinn's eyes try to adjust as best as physically possible but even the best of eye sight won't save her from the wrath of the zombies; lonesome creatures that crawl from the graveyards of cemeteries yearning for human flesh, biting those with a pulse, animal or otherwise. Luckily for the animals it's a quick death, they aren't affected by the gene. They feel no pain. They merely die as if poisoned by deadly venom.
For humans it's not that simple. They're more complex. Each bite can take anywhere from a minute to an hour to fester enough to cause the blood to boil. If vital organs are attacked festering pursues at an alarming rate. The brain stops functioning and the heart beats harder and harder trying to settle the blood's temperature, but with no cure, it's impossible. The heart overworks to the extent that it starts to eat itself. It uses its own flesh as fuel until there is none. With the heart gone, the brain dead creatures yearn for more flesh. However much they consume, it will never be enough to suffice their constant hunger.
The sound of smashing glass immediately alerts all of Quinn's senses. She spins around hoping, pleading that it's Rachel having dropped the supplies in which she entered the abandoned grocery store to get. It isn't Rachel. It isn't even a human. A group of three flesh yearning monsters drag themselves pitilessly towards the blonde girl. One is merely a severed torso dragging itself closer and closer with whatever strength it has left on two spindly flesh enamoured arms. Its head looks as if someone has already swung many baseball bats at it.
Clearly not enough Quinn thinks to herself.
The other two creatures are approaching much quicker than the mangled torso. Both fully limbed and not a single sign of having been previously attacked. Quinn raises her bat. They're gaining on her. She fixates her thoughts on Rachel. If anything happens to her Quinn will die protecting the girl she loves.
Nothing else will matter.
And why won't it? Because Quinn's final thoughts will be of Rachel and not even brain dead monsters can take that away from her.
The weeks' following Rachel and Quinn's confrontation leads the girls to falling further and further apart. A friendship three years in the making was slowly disintegrating in front of both girls eyes, and there was only one person to blame.
"I'm not blaming you Rachel!" Quinn shouts holding her head in her hands sitting on her own bed as Rachel paces back and forwards already having worn a whole in the carpet. "I've tried to be okay with this but just as soon as you begin to get better…" Quinn's voice breaks, "every time Rachel. Every time you revert backwards and we're going around in circles."
Rachel stops pacing and turns to look at the tired blonde who meets her gaze. Her glimmering eyes now lacked lustre and was accompanied by darkening rings. The girl who was once so full of life seemed to be a deflated mess and Rachel could blame no one but herself. Quinn was right, every time Rachel stops lying, every time things get good between them, she does it again. She doesn't know why she does it. She can't help it. Maybe she believes that things are too good to be true and just wants to prove herself right.
"You need to leave Rachel," Quinn says sternly wringing her hands together because she doesn't know what else to do with them. If she stops holding them together she knows she'll pull Rachel closer and tell her that everything's going to be okay, only she doesn't have the energy for that anymore. Countless nights have seen the pair cuddled up beneath the stars in one or the others back garden, singing…laughing. Being happy.
Rachel dashes forwards and kneels in front of the trembling girl noticing how hard she is trying to stop herself from crying. It'll only be a matter of time.
"No, please Quinn. One more chance, I promise this time it'll be different," the kneeling girl pleads.
"That's the 8th time you've promised that Rachel and still we're stuck in this loop. Please don't make this any harder than it already is. I'd like you to leave please," Quinn politely persists. She doesn't want to raise her voice because she isn't angry. Just hurt. Hurt that the girl who captured her heart seems to be taking her for a ride.
Rachel still doesn't move. Her hands rest on Quinn's knees and she feels the girl flinch under the warmth of her hands.
"One more chance. Don't make me beg Quinn. I love you," Rachel finishes feeling a little flustered as she says the words a loud. She's only ever whispered them when she was sure the blonde was fast asleep, tucked as close to her body as physically possible.
Quinn tries not to scoff. If Rachel loves her then why was she still doing this? Why was she putting her through more pain than necessary? More than anything, why was she telling her that she loves her. Nothing was official between them. The only times they'd spent together involved ignoring the pending situation and falling asleep in each other's arms not naming whatever it was that both girls were feeling.
"You know how I feel about you Rachel. All this time you've known and sometime ago, I thought you felt the same. And maybe you did. Maybe you still do, but you aren't the girl I fell in love with," Quinn takes in a sharp breath to try and calm herself down. She won't cry. She won't cry. "The girl I fell in love with would have gone to the end of the earth to try and solve the problems she's dealing with and…"
"And nothing Quinn. I have gone to the end of the earth trying to solve what you like to call 'my problems' but I can't do this alone. Relapses happen. Every night we've fallen asleep together, I feel complete and it doesn't feel as if I need to lie again. It's out of my control. I'll be honest…"
Quinn utters a laugh despite knowing it was unfair to do so.
"I'll be honest, I have deliberately lied, but not all of them were deliberate. The little ones like telling you I'm not tired when I am and telling you I haven't lied for the entire day when I have, I don't know why I do them. But the deliberate ones, the painful ones, I do it because it all feels too good to be true," Rachel finishes.
"So, deliberately lying when I'm under the impression you're getting better is going to help us is it?" Quinn asks in dismay.
"No but," Rachel tries.
"Nothing Rachel, but nothing. You've known how I've felt for a while. You've let me in, you've let me close to you and I've given the same back but I can't open myself up anymore because I'm too scared it's going to be another slap in the face. I love you Rachel, and when you get better, whenever that is, come and find me. I might have run out of patience and things may be broken between us beyond compare but for you there is nothing I'm not willing to try."
Tears form and fall simultaneously in both girls eyes. "I can't believe you love me until you can show continuous improvement and dedication to beating this thing. I know you can do it, I know you can but I think I'm holding you back."
Rachel rapidly shakes her head and her tears stream quicker. She mouths 'No' but no sounds are made.
"I'm going to Yale Rachel, like I'd planned. You always knew there was that chance. While I'm here, you're always going to find reason to lie again. If you can get better on your own, which I know you can," Quinn reassures, "Then maybe there's hope, hope for us Rachel."
Quinn's hands shake but still she accurately slams the baseball bat down crunching what was left of the first zombie's skull. Dead matter oozed from its eyes and ears and just to be on the safe side Quinn whacks the zombie once more and a squelching sound indicates that the brain of the zombie is no longer capable of living, if that's what you can even call it.
The actions of the blonde are then repeated twice more, first to the other fully limbed creature and then to the useless mound of torso. Her bat is now smeared with gunk, brain matter and rotting flesh. The stench is horrendous but as Quinn has been here from the beginning it's a smell she is starting to get used to.
Forty minutes has now passed and as Rachel had promised no more than ten Quinn quickly looks over her shoulder before entering the grocery store. Her footsteps echo along with each step she takes along the vacant aisles. She can't understand what is taking Rachel so long as the shelves are all completely bare. However, being the main grocery store in the town bordering Lima Quinn is hardly surprised. It was probably one of the first shops to be raided.
Quinn slows her pace trying to decrease the volume of the echo's her combat boots are making. She tiptoes around a corner, rapidly lifts her bat and slams it straight into the side of a zombie's head. Blood and matter splatter across the grey and dusty walls. The blonde doubles over trying to steady her heart rate. She knew she was to always expect the worst and always be prepared but sometimes even that split second isn't quick enough to make a decision or to prepare you for the dangers that lay ahead.
Realising that there is no time to waste Quinn sprints to the end of the aisle before making a sharp right turn. She then continues her sprint down the back of the store to see if she can see spot the girl in question. If there was one zombie, there was always more. And if there isn't more, they'll be coming.
They're always coming.
For their hunger never ceases.
The blonde stands and tugs on Rachel's hands to pull her up too. Their eyes connect, each boring into the others soul looking for the answer in which in this moment, they cannot find, but someday they hope to. Quinn's eyes flutter close as her fingers entwine with Rachel's gripping her tighter, like she's her anchor in the sea and then leans forward slowly, tentatively before placing a soft, barely-there kiss on Rachel's pale, pink, tasting-of-cherries lips.
The kiss lasts seconds but Rachel has just enough time to return it before Quinn reluctantly pulls away, resting her head against Rachel's.
"Our first kiss," Rachel whispers as a lone tear cascades down her cheek.
"One of many more," Quinn whispers back, "Get better," she urges, "Get better and I'll be waiting."
"I don't think I can without you. Please Quinn, don't do this," Rachel pleads but Quinn is already pulling away. The sudden loss of contact comes as a shock to both of them and they both wince as cold air hits the spot in which was previously heated by the other's presence.
Quinn takes two steps and opens her bedroom door, "It's time for you to go Rachel."
Still the girl doesn't move. Quinn gives her time. She waits. She waits for what feels like an age until Rachel finally turns around and strides straight to the door. The girl doesn't talk directly to Quinn as she passes through the open door but the blonde can hear her muttering something under her breath and it sounds something like, "I can do this, I know I can do this. Not for me, for her. I can do this."
Quinn doesn't follow Rachel down the stairs, instead she waits until she can hear the slam of the door before collapsing onto her bed and drifting off into a hazy sleep.
This is the third scan of the store and Quinn is still at a loss. No sign of Rachel. Where could she be, Quinn wonders panic stricken. She racks her brains. Nothing. They rarely leave and wander the streets at night, it's too risky, and it's when the zombies are most active. Still the blonde continues to wrack her brains.
"Arghh!" Quinn yells to herself, pummelling the palm of her hand into her forehead, not caring who can hear her, "Goddamn," Quinn raises her bat and smashes the shelf of an aisle causing it to collapse under the force, "Rachel" the girl continues to smash the collapsed shelf with all her might, "Rachel," and again, one hit after the next, "fucking Berry!" Quinn finishes collapsing to the floor breathing heavily throwing the bat to the side of her enabling her to hold her head in her hands.
As she does so she smears blood and dirt over her face but she's beyond caring. All she wants is Rachel. Two years of birthday and Christmas cards and that was the extent to which the girls had spoken to one another. No phone calls. No Skype. Nothing.
She'd hoped Rachel's recovery would be quicker when she was no longer in the picture but two years had proved her wrong. Every day she'd check her mail in case there was a hand written envelope with a signature gold star stuck on the left hand side. After weeks of nothing, Quinn's hope diminished.
Quinn doesn't know when she started crying but now she's aware of it she can feel the warm tears sliding down her pale cheeks. She wipes them away with the cuff of her ripped and dirty sleeve. Cleanliness was no longer a necessity. If you could wash daily by whatever means possible you were the lucky ones. No daily activity was carried out unless a weapon was present in at least one, if not both hands.
Quinn moves her hands from her face to glance at her watch. "Shit," she whispers. It's stopped.
She can't fathom why she hasn't been found yet. She hasn't been quiet, if anything she's tried to make as much noise as possible. With an hour having passed and not a single sign of Rachel Berry the only answer of Rachel's disappearance is that she is now a zombie with the only thought of human flesh on her mind. Quinn winces at the thought of it.
Is Quinn trying to deliberately get herself caught? Maybe Quinn would be happier being dead if Rachel was as well, but then again death is much more pleasurable than becoming a flesh craving monster.
Quinn is about to close her eyes no longer worrying of the consequences of being alone in a lit up shop during the peak time for zombie hordes when the sound of a rolling tin alerts Quinn's ears. She dives for her bat and scrambles to her feet slowly backing her way down the aisle remembering to frequently look over her shoulder.
The noise repeats itself startling Quinn more than the first noise had.
Quinn's heart pumps faster and faster until all she can feel is the pounding of blood in her ears and then it happens for a third time.
Zombies can't think. They can't consciously do something more than once, but a horde could make many noises, over and over again, for as long as the possibly wanted.
Quinn gulps.
She is no longer alone.
A distant beeping wakes Quinn. At first she tries to ignore it but soon enough she is thrashing in her bed trying to untangle her from the pile of blankets to reach her phone before the caller hangs up.
Normally Quinn would be awake in the early hours of the morning, studying, revising, reading. You name it and Quinn did it. Sometimes she still does. She doesn't sleep well. If her thoughts aren't plagued with Rachel, counting down the days until she receives her next card they're filled with worry about her mum's deteriorating condition.
They still don't know what it is, all they can diagnose is a high fever and forgetfulness in which can't be explained. No amount of painkillers, anti-biotic or even the strongest prescription drugs can keep the fever under control. Quinn's gone back to Lima and visited on several occasions but now that her mother is in an induced coma visiting seems redundant. Judy couldn't communicate even when conscious, she just thrashed around trying to ease the pain, so now that she's in a coma, there is no hope at all.
"Hello, Quinn speaking" the girl mumbles quietly, sleepiness lacing her voice.
"Hello Quinn, this is Doctor Evelyn McCoy speaking," the voice the other end of the phone replies.
Quinn feels her chest constrict and start to ache, no news at three am can ever be good news. She'd been prepared for the worst but sometimes preparation still isn't enough.
"What's happened?" Quinn forces out in a dry, croaky voice.
"I'm very sorry Miss Fabray, we tried everything, and there was nothing more we could do. I'm incredibly sorry for your loss. If you have any questions feel free to ask me and any complaints you may wish to make about your mother's treatment will be addressed immediately."
Quinn isn't listening anymore. She zoned out after the first few words. Her head is spinning; her heart is racing and her blood pumping. She tries to speak, to let Doctor McCoy know she's still on the other end of the line but she can't seem to make a noise. Her mouth opens and closes and opens and closes.
"Miss Fabray, are you there? I know this is a lot to…"
"I'm here," Quinn forces out, her voice cracking. She feels the burns of tears at the back of her eyes but knows she can't cry. She can't. She'd prepared herself. She knew this was going to happen. She can't cry.
The phone call doesn't last much longer. Quinn tells the Doctor that there's nothing she wishes to ask at the present time but lets her know she'll board the first place back to Ohio in the morning. Doctor McCoy understands and apologies once more before ending the call.
At a time in which Quinn should be thinking only of the very recent and heartbreaking loss of her mother all she can muster up the courage to do is wonder what Rachel is doing right now. She wonders if she's thinking about Quinn like Quinn is thinking about her. She wonders if she's trying to sleep or if she is sleeping, is she dreaming?
Quinn swivels her body and lets her legs fall like lead weights to the floor. She takes in a sharp intake of air before pulling herself up onto her feet and shuffling towards the window which is illuminated by the bright white light of the moon.
Quinn hopes Rachel can't sleep. She wants Rachel to be looking at the moon too at least that way it will feel like they have some form of connection despite the long distance between them. Quinn gazes at the moon for what feels like an age, enamoured by its glistening surface. She stays looking at the moon until she can no longer feel her feet due to the cold hard floor beneath them.
She doesn't want to leave just in case Rachel is looking. Quinn waits. She's not sure what for. A sign maybe. The blonde snorts at herself, "this is ridiculous" she whispers, before dragging her body back into bed, shaking her head at her own naivety.
Little does Quinn know, Rachel is looking.
Rachel never stops looking, living in hope that Quinn is returning her stare.
This was written for 'Faberry Week: Zombie prompt' and it'd be great to know what you think, the second part will be updated in a weeks time or if you can't wait, hunt it out on " .com"
Thank-you