The Captain is seated at the bar of the Tavern.
Captain: Honestly, I got kicked in the head by a mule just three hours ago. And look at me! Not a scratch! Not even a bruise.
Maid: You got kicked in the head by a mule?
Captain: Don't ask. I was trying to win a bet.
Maid: I take it you didn't then?
Captain: Oh you bet I did! Not gonna let a little mule kick short me out of two shillings. Maid: Two shillings?
Captain: And one penny... Don't ask.
The Captain motions to the bartender.
Captain: Barkeep. I'll take another of your finest ales. And one for this beautiful lady... What's your name?
Maid: Sally Smith.
The drinks are poured.
Captain: That's on me Sally Smith! Or rather it's on my esteemed associate Ralph...Ralph... Just Ralph. You don't bet two shillings that Captain Jack Harkness can't milk a mule! Bottoms up!
Maid: Who's Captain Jack Harkness?
Captain: That's me! I'm Captain Jack Harkness!
Maid: Oh. Right. Didn't it hurt though?
Captain: Is that a line?
Maid: No, Silly! Getting kicked in the head by a mule?
Captain: It hurt like hell! Damn near killed me. Well...
Maid: You can't even see it now. You're handsome as ever, you are. Still, you might want to get it seen to.
The Maid indicates some dried blood in the Captain's hair.
Captain: Oh. Yeah.
Maid: Still, I suppose there's no quick fix for something like that.
Captain: Oh, the Doctor. He'll be able to fix me.
Maid: That might be, but I don't trust those bloody quacks.
Captain: Yeah. You're probably right.
The Captain pauses.
Captain: Barkeep. Keep them coming. I've got a long wait. And Sally Smith here is looking hot and thirsty.
Abridged transcript of a conversation between Captain Jack Harkness & two men at the Wellbridge Alehouse, Cardiff. 16th December 1897.
The Captain is standing at the bar listening to the conversation of two men.
Man 1: Then I saw this great big light in the sky. It was like a star was falling down.
Man 2: No. Is it?
Man 1: Aye. Nearly bloody blinded me it did.
Man 2: Good God, that's a bit strange isn't it. Had you been on the ale though Medwyn?
Man 1: I hadn't touched a drop. I swear. Well, I did have one drink. Two. I had two drinks. But that was it, honest. Three.
Man 2: Well that is strange.
Captain: How are you fellas doing tonight?
Man 1: Aye.
Man 2: Aye.
Captain: An ale please barkeep.
The bartender brings the Captain another drink.
Captain: So you say you saw a light eh?
Man 1: Aye, I did too. What's it to you?
Captain: No, nothing. Just interested that's all. Where'd you see it?
Man 2: I don't know if that's any of your business.
Captain: Apologies gents, I didn't mean to intrude.
The Captain takes a drink.
Captain: It's just that I saw something recently too, and I was wondering if it was the same thing. Man 2: Oh aye.
Man 1: What was it that you saw?
Captain: A light. Same as you. Heading towards the East.
Man 1: In the sky off by the docks?
Captain: Yes! Exactly. Did you see anything else?
Man 1: No. Nothing. I went to try and follow it but it disappeared before I could get any closer.
Man 2: He'd had a few drinks.
Man 1: What! Be quiet Tom, will you. I'd only had four. And besides, it was quite disturbing you know. I thought that something big was happening.
Captain: I know what you mean.
Man 2: I don't believe it for a second.
Man 1: Well I do. I saw it. And it'd be nice to get to the bottom of it, don't you think!
The Captain nods as if lost in thought.
Captain: When the Doctor turns up, it'll all be put right.
Man 2: You what?
Captain: Oh. Nothing. Can I get you fellas a drink?
Man 1: Well I won't say no to that.
Abridged transcript of a conversation between Captain Jack Harkness & an Innkeeper at the Stone quarter Inn, Cardiff. 4th April 1898.
Captain Jack Harkness sits at the bar conversing with the Innkeeper.
Captain: I'll take another please.
The Innkeeper obliges.
Innkeeper: You don't sound like a Welshman. You from the Colonies, are you?
Captain: You could say that.
Innkeeper: So what brings you here?
Captain: Circumstance, mainly, but I kinda like it here, you know. As it goes I'm looking for someone. Well, more like waiting...
Innkeeper: Ahhh, I see. A young lady, eh.
Captain: Well, not quite. Although that's another story. I'm waiting for a friend of mine - a Doctor.
Innkeeper: Oh, don't they have Doctors in America?
Captain: I'm sure they do, but not quite like this one. He's the only one who can help me now.
Innkeeper: Oh right. It must be quite an ailment you've got there.
Captain: Quite the opposite actually. I'm just looking for answers, that's all.
Innkeeper: Ahh well, that's a different matter, but I don't know if any Doctor can help you there. It's at times like this I turn to the Bible. It has all the answers you need.
Captain: I think this might be a little beyond that.
Innkeeper: Never underestimate the power of faith, my friend.
Captain: Oh faith, Sir, is something that I have in bounds.
The Captain stands and finishes his drink.
Captain: You wait till I see the Doctor, first I'm gonna kiss him and then I'm gonna kill him.
Innkeeper: You might want to watch what you say in here, my friend. On both accounts.
Captain: Oh. Yes.
The Innkeeper smiles and pours the Captain another drink.
Innkeeper: One for your way.
Captain: Thanks. I hope I find it.
The Captain drinks the drink, acknowledges the Innkeeper and leaves.