A/N: This is my first songfic: Mara's life in snapshots, set to the song of the same title by Pink. It's almost canon; you'll better understand this story if you've read the EU. (The song might be broken up more than it should be, but it is what it is, and I'm happy with the way it turned out.) I'd appreciate your thoughts. Please review!
Of course, I own not Star Wars nor Pink.
Listen to the song quietly in the background while reading...it makes a difference! (Remove spaces in the link): grooveshark [dot] com / #! / s / Glitter+In+The+Air / 1Rr9YT?src=5
"Have you ever fed a lover with just your hand?"
Shining green eyes on a smiling face framed by reddish-blonde hair - clouded, as if peering through fog at times - but it was there.
"Mara, sweetheart, eat your dinner." There was no discipline in her tone, only love.
I held out my tiny palm, a small piece of nerf sausage. She smiled while bending down to take it from my hand.
"Closed your eyes and trusted, just trusted?"
I could feel his heart beating through his tunic as he held me to his chest, stroking my hair. She was crying; I could feel his anguish as he enveloped me in a protective hug. I looked up to his warm brown eyes.
"Be strong, baby girl. Make us proud. We will always love you."
As he wrapped his arms around me for the last time, I closed my eyes and rested my head on his shoulder. They loved me; I could trust that much.
"Have you ever thrown a fistful of glitter in the air?"
My eyes burned with the tears that threatened to fall. No one took notice of me as I walked past them out of the ballroom.
Breathing steadily on the rooftop, I wondered. Why has he done it? I had been played a fool in front of his nobles. My throat burned with anger.
I looked down at my shimmering dress, the one he had chosen for me, one not usually worn by girls my age. I tore at the small sparkling sequins, dropping them at my feet.
Silently, I gathered up a fistful, turned and threw it, watching as it glittered in Coruscant's lights as it was carried by the night wind.
"Have you ever looked fear in the face and said, I just don't care?"
His fury swirled around me, menacing and overbearing, choking me. I had failed. And he had counted on my success. My heart pounded in my ears.
"He is still free, wreaking havoc across the galaxy," he whispered, peering into my very soul with those gleaming yellow eyes. "You must be punished, you realize."
I struggled to swallow my bile and simply nodded. It was threatening to overtake me, but I could not give in to my fear.
"It's only half past the point of no return
The tip of the iceberg
The sun before the burn
The thunder before lightning
The breath before the phrase
Have you ever felt this way?"
He had blanched at my words, and in the dim light, I had seen his struggle for calm.
"I can't promise that," he had said quietly.
Now, in this room of chaos and rage, I looked to him. His eyes were full of pain. I felt the cool of the lightsaber against my palm, heard a rushing in my ears.
Fates would be chosen, destinies changed. By me.
My fists tightened, and I ran past him, toward that laughing, living insanity. There was no going back now.
"Have you ever hated yourself for just staring at the phone?
Your whole life waiting for the ring to prove you're not alone?"
It was a strange feeling...unfamiliar and uncomfortable. He had been asking - no, begging - for so long to train. He said I had so much potential.
But after the last time I refused, he'd stopped. For some reason, it hurt.
Laying on my small bunk, listening to the hum of the ship, I held my comlink in my hand, staring. Trying to rein in my contrasting emotions.
If I called, what would he think of me? Surely he'd boast that he was right.
But if I didn't call, would he ever again?
"Have you ever ben touched so gently you had to cry?
Have you ever invited a stranger to come inside?"
I felt so broken. It felt like my heart was bleeding. It was necessary, but oh - how painful.
He sat down next to me and slowly wrapped his arm around me. A gentle gesture coming from this man, from a beautiful heart. I squeezed my eyes shut, then melted against him and his warm embrace and let the tears fall.
No words were said - I simply opened myself to him and let him share my emotions, my heartbreak, my sacrifice.
"It's only half past the point of oblivion
The hourglass on the table
The walk before the run
The breath before the kiss
The fear before the flames
Have you ever felt this way?"
I was tired, so tired. My arms and legs burned, but not as strongly as my burning desire for life.
And the man pressed up against my back, whose thoughts were as my own. I had to fight for him.
I caught the pungent smell of a blaster bolt that came too close, and my heart fluttered. There was no way we both were getting out alive...so I had to act quickly if he was going to survive.
Alarm rippled through the Force as he caught my trail of thought. Then there were images, skipping and spinning coming together - a plan of his own. And both of us were escaping.
I took a deep breath and dropped, rolled out from under him, and threw my lightsaber.
There was no going back now.
"There you are, sitting in the garden
Clutching my coffee
Calling me sugar
You called me sugar"
I tried quashing the sudden despair rising as quickly as the water below us, but my emotions were mirrored in his blue eyes. This was hopelessness, and I felt strangely detached.
I looked at him, and apology on my lips for bringing him into this. It was my fault. I hung my head, but he gently lifted my chin with his hand. No words were needed. I could feel his forgiveness, his love above all else.
One word echoed in my head: Forever.
"Have you ever wished for an endless night?
Lassoed the moon and stars and pulled the rope tight?
Have you ever held your breath and asked yourself, Will it ever get better than tonight?"
Contentment. It was an incredibly exhilarating yet immensely calming feeling. The tranquility of the night whispered peace to us as we walked hand in hand down the moonlit path, my dress trailing behind me.
Reaching the end, we stood in awe of the view - the waves lapped at the foot of the bluff, singing a song without words. I looked up into the night sky, drinking in the shining points of light that were stars and planets and galaxies. He wrapped his arm around my waist.
"What a day," he said softly. I smiled up at him. My heart was overflowing with love for him.
"It's not over yet," I replied as the sea wind blew strands of my hair.
My breath caught as he bent forward and kissed me.
There was nothing better than this.