The guy was awkward and looked too big for his skin, looked like he'd been stuffed into the wrong body and had never quite gotten used to it. On stage he'd been like a monkey on cocaine, going back and forth like a little freak, worrying and busying himself with the mic and a bottle of beer as he skipped from idea to idea haltingly and gracelessly. Noel had been entranced. As usual.

Now, Noel was striding up to talk to him. They'd met before, but only superficially. Usually it was Noel harassing him over what a great job the man had done and him muttering something about Noel in response, either compliment or insult or a combination of both. But tonight, Noel was going to talk to him, proper. He was going to make sure Julian had a true conversation with him.

He hoped Noel's on stage performance had been enough to get Julian talking. He'd been on fire during his set. The audience was loving him, plus, every time Noel looked over behind the curtain, he saw Julian trying to hide smiles behind his hand. Whenever Noel said he was a comedian, Julian never seemed to believe him. Had actually laughed a bit the first time Noel had said it, in fact.

"You, a comedian?" he'd said.

"Yeah," Noel had insisted, feigning offense, "Why? I can't be a comedian?"

"Of course not," Julian had shot back, "you can't dress like that and be a comedian. It's the wrong look."

"Yeh, well, I'm changin' the look."

"You can't just change the look, it's the look. It's," and here he'd fumbled for words for a second, "it's a long tradition with comedians."

"What, dressing like hobos?"

"Yes. It's a very important element to the trade."

They'd joked around a couple more goes, but then Julian ducked away and Noel didn't see him the rest of the night. That had been the second time they'd talked. This would be the seventh. He tried not to keep track, but he couldn't help himself.

Julian was at the bar. Julian's face registered recognition when he looked up and Noel waved. Julian jerked his head a little in response.

"Alright, Julian," Noel said, sporting his best smile.

Julian nodded and pursed his lips. "Yup." Then he looked at the stage. He gestured at it. "Nice job up there, uh, you did really well, it... it was very annoying. To go up after you, I mean."

Noel giggled. "What can I say, the audience has good taste. They liked you, too."

Julian raised his eyebrows, but his eyes didn't get any bigger. How did he do that? His eyes were impossibly tiny, fascinatingly so. "Yeah, well," Julian muttered, "they may have also been off their tits."

"What's the difference? Being wasted gives you good taste. It's a fact of nature."

Julian's mouth twitched a smile for just a second, but he still was not looking at Noel. His eyes slid furtively from the stage to his drink, which he swirled in silence.

"So, how've you been, eh?" Noel pushed forward, "Ain't seen you in ages."

"I saw you two weeks ago."

The correction came out of Julian's mouth too quickly, too sure, like Julian had also been keeping track. It gave Noel's stomach a flutter.

"Yeah? Well, how've you been?"

"Uh, good, I've been good. Busy." He looked up at Noel for a second, then back down. "Tryin' to maybe pitch a tv show. We'll see how it goes, but..."

"Aw, a tele show? That's brilliant, what's it about?"

"Erm," Julian looked all around skittishly as he spoke, "It's a bit complicated to explain. Complex, really. It's... it's beyond description. Trying to describe it would be completely worthless. Any attempt to explain would come dribbling out as just a string of sounds because the..."

Julian cut off like he suddenly realized where he was and he flicked his eyes up at Noel. His cheeks tinged pink at the top. "Yeah," he finished lamely.

Noel laughed and Julian winced. "Don't just stop there. Because the what? I wanna hear the rest of it."

"The rest of what?" Julian asked his drink.

"The explanation. What you were saying."

Julian looked up at Noel and smiled. Genuinely smiled. "Ah, it was rubbish. I've been good, though. What about you?"

Noel mucked about with Julian for another ten minutes, then Julian began to detach himself from the conversation, backing away and making excuses as he always did. But Noel had planned for this.

"Where you goin', mate? I might come with. Things seem pretty dead tonight around here, and it'd be fun to catch a new scene."

Julian laughed through his nose in a snort. "New scene? Who are you, then, David Bowie?"

"Aw, I wish," Noel said, putting on an exaggerated laugh, "he's brilliant, in'nt he?"

"Um," Julian said, "Well, I was going to go home, actually. I work in the morning."

"Work? Where?"

"Uhh," Julian shifted his eyes like a threatened dog, "My job. I have to get up early, is all."

"How early?"

"Six."

"But it's only 9:30!"

"By the time I get home and settled, it'll be 10:30."

"Aw, come on, you can skip a couple hours of sleep. I've heard it's actually unhealthy to get eight hours every single night."

Julian narrowed his already squinty eyes, like he might contest Noel on that point, but then he seemed to switch gears. "I dunno. I'm not exactly the party type."

"Yeah, I could'a guessed that one," Noel commented, giving a pointed look at Julian's outfit, "Unless you were gonna go attend a lock-in at the public library." Noel glowed a bit on the inside at Julian's chuckle and prodded further. "Anyway, I don't necessarily mean going out. I'll come to your place, we'll have a laugh! Besides, don't you want to spend more time with me?" He gave what he knew was a cheeky smile.

To Noel's delight, Julian was trying unsuccessfully to hide a smile when he looked up. "What would I wanna do that for?"

"Cos you fancy me." He'd said it without thinking, meaning it as a tease, but Julian didn't laugh. He just blinked and looked away. So, Noel stepped forward and tugged at Julian's shirtsleeve like a little kid. "Aw, c'mon. It'll be fun, I promise."

Julian looked up and Noel made his face go into puppy dog mode and that was that.

Julian said he didn't want to have to deal with driving Noel home so they drove to Noel's flat instead. Noel was excited; showing people his stuff was one of his favorite ways to make new friends.

Before leaving the car, Noel had said: "I should warn you. If you come in, you can never leave." Then he'd laughed too loudly and too long at Julian's nonchalant, "That's alright, I don't have much on, anyway."

Once inside, Noel dragged Julian around, giving him the full tour, which included pointing out and explaining stories behind a large proportion of the trinkets and decorations and paintings strewn throughout the flat, for as long as he could before Julian began to show outward signs of disinterest. Then, Noel pulled a bottle of halfway decent gin out of the freezer and Julian perked up a bit again.

Soon enough, they were both seated in the living room, Julian on the couch and tapping his foot to the music which Noel, seated on the floor, was putting on his massive stereo.

"This is good," Julian called over the electronic noise, "What is it?"

"I've no idea!" Noel yelled back, "It's a mixed tape my mate gave me a while back. Brilliant, though, in'nit?"

Julian nodded and sipped his gin and tonic. Noel turned the music down a bit so they could talk.

"Could I paint your nails?" Noel asked after they'd chatted for a while, entirely out of the blue. He couldn't help smiling at Julian's startled expression.

"Why?"

"'Cause your nails are hideous. They're all dirty and yellowish. You have magnificent hands, but your nails make the whole package look like utter shit."

Julian chuckled and held Noel's eye for a long moment. Then, he furrowed his brow and examined his fingernails. Noel watched the subtle shifts in his expression, fascinated.

"Eh," Julian finally said, "Sure."

Noel's face split into an enormous grin and he sat up on his knees. "You're serious?"

Julian shrugged, obviously amused by Noel's excitement. "Why not? Just don't do any... girly colors. Like the green you got on."

"This is turquoise, you berk!"

Julian rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Not my style."

"How's black sound?" Noel was already up and across the room before Julian could answer. He rummaged around his room and sifted through the multicolored bottles of polish he had in his dresser drawer, then came out holding three bottles of black polish.

"Okay," he said, plopping heavily on the couch next to Julian, "I've got this sparkly black, this really dull black which is kinda greyish in some lights, and then there's this really, really, really black one, which I swear doesn't reflect light, it's mental, it's my favorite, really, but which one do you want?"

Julian blinked down at the bottles. "I'm not sure why I'm surprised you have three types of black nail polish." After Noel's laugh, Julian said, "Whatever one you think. I don't care."

Noel nodded and picked took up the pitch-dark one. "Lemme have your hand."

Julian held his hand in midair and Noel gingerly took it in his fingers. Julian's hand was warm and clammy. And hairy. With his free hand, he managed to screw the bottle's lid off and dip out a brushful of the liquid. After wedging the bottle between his ankle and his thigh on the couch, Noel set to work.

At first, Julian watched his nails slowly become covered in black. But after a while, he stared out at the living room cluttered with colorful knick-knacks and sipped at his drink. They chatted a little, but they were mostly quiet, just listening to the trippy music Noel had put on.

When Noel got this close to most men he hung out with, they generally would begin to act strangely. They either made excessive jokes about not being gay or they would start shifting around like they were on cactuses. But Julian did not. There was no difference in Julian's demeanor between Noel being three meters or three centimeters away from him. In fact, he seemed maybe a little more comfortable when they were closer, but then maybe that was Noel's imagination.

When Noel was done with Julian's left hand, he requested the right. Julian stretched his hand across his body so that he was forced to angle his body toward Noel. The two of them met eyes before Julian lowered his gaze to his hand to watch Noel work.

"It looks nice," Julian muttered, almost grudgingly.

Noel looked up and grinned. "Thanks," he laughed, "the trick is to use loads of polish. Don't use enough and it looks like rubbish."

Julian did not respond.

Noel was concentrating on spreading the paint over Julian's stubby nails, careful to avoid the divots between nail and skin where polish loved to pool, so when Julian suddenly slouched forward and touched his lips to Noel's, Noel flinched away.

"What you doin'?" Noel instinctively asked.

Julian's tiny eyes fluttered and twitched around in distress. "I... I'm, I don't, I... Fuck..." His cheekbones were flushed and he looked like he might cry.

The initial shock was fading and Noel watched Julian with growing interest. He gently reached forward with his free hand and placed it on Julian's half-painted one. He held it closer and examined it.

"That's what I thought," Noel murmured, "You made me get nail polish on your finger." Noel licked his thumb and wiped at the black polish until it was only a faint stain. He was very aware of Julian's intent gaze. "There. The rest of that'll come off next time you wash your hands."

He shifted his eyes up to meet Julian's and Julian looked away. Slowly, slowly, Noel edged toward Julian until the other man was practically forced to look up, then Noel kissed him. Noel felt Julian exhale slowly onto Noel's cheek, a breath which he must have been holding for some time. He felt Julian's face relax against Noel's as they explored each others' mouths.

When Noel's tape clicked off, they were still kissing. Noel didn't know how long it'd been since they began. He tried to remember, but it was like they were in a sort of limbo state where nothing moved forward. They stopped because of the silence, but Noel could have kept kissing Julian for an eternity.

Julian pulled away. His face was riddled with concern. He looked so worried that Noel couldn't help but smile.

"What's the matter?" Noel asked, playfully stroking Julian's chin.

"I don't understand what's going on."

Noel looked at Julian quizzically and waited for Julian to get his thoughts in order before speaking.

"You're... very..." Julian's lips squirmed as he reached for the right word, "confusing."

Noel laughed heartily at that, but nodded in agreement. "Alright, so you're attracted to me. What's the problem with that?"

Julian's brow furrowed and deep lines formed in his forehead. "I'm not gay."

Noel shrugged. "Neither am I."

Julian gave him a skeptical look.

"I'm not!" Noel insisted, taking fake offense. "I swear, I'm not. It's just that, I like..." Don't say "you," you twat, he thought hurriedly, then said, "I like a bit of fun once in a while, that's all."

Julian nodded, his lips pursed. He took a long, deep breath before speaking again. "The really odd thing, though, is that..." He paused again, obviously not looking forward to finishing the sentence. "Well, the thing is, I'm not even, erm, aroused."

Immediately, Noel's eyes shot to Julian's crotch and saw it was decidedly bulgeless. "Huh," Noel said. Then, he realized that his own pants were just as undisturbed. "Huh," he said again. Then, leaning his head back against the couch, he said, "That is confusing."

Julian snorted. "I thought that kissing you would give me this big thrill... It's just what I've wanted to do all night. And now... I don't know what I want."

"I got a thrill," Noel said, "But that was about it. Nothin' more. Don't make any sense, does it?"

Julian shook his head. After a pause, Julian continued. "It's like... I want something from you. Like take some piece of you and somehow..." He pantomimed pressing something into his chest. "Somehow make it a part of me. But for the life of me, I can't figure out what that means. So, my mind assumes that's got to be sex."

Noel thought about that for a moment. "It's like, what else could it be, y'know?"

"Yeah."

Then, Noel reached over and took Julian's hand in his. Testing the polish with his fingertip, he commented that it was dry. Julian did not respond, but curled his fingers between Noel's. Noel lowered his head onto Julian's shoulder and sighed.

"I will say, this is quite nice."

"Mmhmm."

Noel lifted up and kissed Julian lightly on the lips. "That's quite nice as well."

"Mmhmm." Julian hesitated, looking away from Noel, then back. This close, Noel could see how soft and fragile Julian's gaze seemed. Like the man was held together just by the skin he wore. "So," Julian asked uneasily, "What are we? What is... this?"

Noel smiled. "Does it matter?"

Julian blinked. Blinked again. Smiled.

At the end of the night, Noel asked Julian to stay for the night and Julian politely refused. They shared a long good-bye kiss, then Julian drove off into the night.

The next day, Noel's phone rang.

"Cheers, this is Noel," he'd said, trying to coax a banana peel open.

When he heard Julian's, "Alright, Noel," on the other end, the fruit almost slipped out of his hands.

"Ju! How's it goin', mate?"

"Good, ehm, yeah." Julian responded. Then, as if trying to get it over with, he rushed out, "Hey, so, I was thinking... You ever thought about being in a double act?"

The pleased grin that spread over Noel's face stayed there for the rest of the day.