Jane: Hey guys! Okay, so I've been on a story telling roll lately, so I'm gonna try to make sure this story kicks ass! Tell me any thoughts you have on my story, and I hope you enjoy. Oh, and I don't own anything.

Chapter 1

"Patty! God dammit! That's not funny!" Death the Kid screamed at half of his weapon pair. "What's not funny, Kid?" Patty had just come downstairs from her room. She had been getting ready to go on a date with a battle ax boy named Liam she'd met at school yesterday. They were going clubbing (don't worry, it's an all ages club) and she had on a pair of charcoal jeggings, and a silky black shirt with red cherry blossoms on it. She had ruby dangle earrings and her short hair was pulled into a bun with two sparkly red butterflies on either side of her head. She thought she was dressed with perfect symmetry, because Kid would get all depressed and or yell at her. He seemed to be going with the latter. She just didn't get it. She was sure that she'd...oh. She noticed it now. Her shirt only had one sleeve. Damn, how couldn't she have realized before. Patty did the only sensible thing one could do in that situation. "Bye Kid, I would change, but I'm late and you kinda suck when you're mad! Toodles!" Patty ran as fast as she could across the foyer and out the door into her date's black convertible.

"Dammit! Now she's gonna make a cow of her asymmetrical self." Kid swore under his breath. Unfortunately for him, Liz had seen the whole thing. Kid cringed and slowly turned around to see angry Liz glaring at him with a hand on her hip. Uh-oh. He knew he was screwed if she was being bold enough to be asymmetrical. "Why can't you ever let the symmetry thing go, especially with Patty. I thought you were seeing Miss Marie about you're OCD?" Kid looked down, not wanting to see the look on her reaction. "Well, I haven't really been seeing Marie." Luckily for Kid, he couldn't see Liz's scowl become even more ominous. "And why is that?" The anger in her words actually stung Kid's ears. "Because, um, she's asymmetrical." Liz's scowl turned into shock. "What?" Kid sighed and looked up at her face. "Her eye, it's asymmetrical. There's only one with an eye patch." Kid closed his eyes, expecting to be hit with either a punch, or explosion of anger and yelling. So he was pleasantly shocked when she said "Okay. Then Patty and I will help you." Kid opened his eyes and smiled. "Really?" Liz rolled her eyes. "Yeah, whatever." Kid's eyes welled up with tears of joy. "Thank you Liz! Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!" He jumped in the air in an attempt to hug her, but she moved away at the last second, resulting in Kid's face smashing into the staircase. "Don't get so worked up about it. I'm going to bed. Since tomorrow's Saturday, we'll start at eight am, okay?" Kid got up, crying tears of joy and pain. "Yes, that sounds fantastic!" Liz rolled her eyes again and replied "God, you're so freaking weird!"

Patty and her date were making out in the corner of the club. A few people who passed by would yell at them to get a room, which was met with both of them flicking off the haters. Liam broke away for a minute. "Hey, do you wanna go back to my place?" Patty smiled for a moment, but it faded. "I can't, Kid will get so pissed if I'm not home in," she checked her watch "oh crap, twenty minutes!" Liam looked extremely confused. "But, babe, it's only 7:40." Patty rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I know, but Kid is totally insane. He almost made me change my outfit because it only had one sleeve!" Liam smirked. Well then, maybe we can go back to your place so your not in trouble." Patty smiled. "That might work." Liam grabbed his keys, and they ran out of the club and into his car. Then they floored it back to Kid's mansion.

Kid sat in the foyer waiting for Patty to come home at exactly 8:00. He tapped his right foot eight times. Then his left. He continued alternating until the clock rang at the exact same time the front door opened. Kid smiled. "Well done Patty. You beat your record." Patty through her hands up in the air and yelled "Yay!" Liam nudged her and she remembered what she what she was going to say. "Oh, yeah. Um, Kid? Would it be okay if Liam stayed the night? Please?" Kid frowned. He never had a problem with Liz and her boyfriends, but he didn't like the idea of sweet and innocent Patty having her heart broken by some random guy. But if he didn't let her have her way, she'd cry. He hated it when she cried. "Fine. But he has to be gone in twelve hours. Deal?" Patty's face lit up and she ran up to give Kid a quick hug. "Thanks, Kid!" Kid gave a half halfhearted smile that Patty didn't even see, because as soon as she let go, she grabbed Liam's arm and dragged him upstairs to her room. Kid sighed. He sulked up to his room and got ready for bed. He then made sure he was in the exact middle of his bed and fell asleep.

He had a horrific dream that night. He and Patty were looking through the dictionary to find words with eight letter or syllables. Then all of a sudden, Liam walked in with a greedy look in his eyes. He walked right up to Patty, grabbed her, and threw her on the floor. Kid tried to get up and kick Liam's ass, but somehow he was rooted to the spot. He was forced to sit and watch as he transformed into a giant snake. The snake coiled around Patty, squeezing her until she was blue. Kid heard her use her last breath to say "I love you, Kid." Then the snake unhinged it's jaw and swallowed Patty whole.

He woke up in a cold sweat, breathing shallowly, with Patty jumping on his bed singing "He's gone! He's gone! The jerk face is gone!" Kid caught his breath and asked "What?" Patty sat down and explained. "You were screaming a lot in your sleep, and I came in to hold your hand so you wouldn't sleep walk, like you do sometimes. Then Liam got really mad at me for being with you instead of him, and he told me if I didn't leave you alone, he'd leave. So I kicked him out." Kid stared at her in disbelief. His horrific nightmare had actually worked in his favor. Then, Patty started giggling. "What's funny, Patty." Patty stopped giggling for a second to say, "Nothing, it's just you had a HUGE boner while you were asleep!" She walked out of the room laughing, and Kid laid back down and tried to get some more sleep before his big therapy session with Liz.

Jane: Well, that was my first Kid and Patty story. Sorry if it got a bit scary, Kid.

Kid: I wasn't scared. Not-not at all!

Patty: So you weren't even a little worried about me?

Kid: Well, I, um...

Patty: Ha ha ha! I'm just screwing with you!

Kid: Dammit Patty!

Jane: Whatever. Just, please review and subscribe!