Disclaimer:I do not, in any way shape or form, own Bleach—I merely play with the characters.
Author's Note:After watching the latest episode of Grimm one day, this idea finally hits me—why haven't I thought of this sooner? Ah well, enjoy! 3
◙█Grimm
Capítulo Uno—History Takes a Toll
Third Person Omniscient
After Aizen was destroyed, all the Espada found themselves healed by Orihime for no reason, but that did not stop Soul Society from wanting blood. They had to escape Hueco Mundo, and not Japan, either because that would be plain stupid considering that country was Soul Society's favorite 'hang out'. No—they fled to America.
Our story begins with the Espada quarreling in an underground Georgia hang out over whether to go back to Hueco Mundo or not…
"Well, I say we go back." Yammy bellowed.
"Please, you just to go back for stored chicken. Glutton." Aaroniero hissed back at Yammy.
As a response, Yammy's stomach growled.
Most the Espada laughed with the exception of Ulquiorra and an irritated Szayel.
"You all are real idiots, the lot of you delinquents! Sure it's in our nature to fight and all, but it never came with the deal to die a stupid death! The place is obviously swarming with shinigami! Sure we'd get a few down, but we'll eventually go down—we are not invincible!" Szayel screamed like a rampant harpie at them.
"The Octava has a point."
Everyone turned their heads at the sound of a certain monotone voice and gawked.
"Why the hell are you here?" Grimmjow blanched even though he was sitting next to him the whole time.
"Yeah, you're the least Espada I expected to come along." Aaroniero confessed.
"I thought you went down with Aizen, protecting him." Yammy retorted.
"Heck, I thought he'd commit suicide after his master died. Stupid dog." Nnoitra spat.
"Would you shut up already you stupid idiots? God, you sound like a bunch of old gossiping ladies. Anyways, it doesn't matter why he's here just that he is because being such a high number works to our advantage now doesn't it? Sorry their such buffoons, Ulquiorra, what you decide is your own will."
Ulquiorra just gave Szayel 'the usual' so Szayel continued on:
"Well we might as well figure something entertaining to do since our only nurture is demolished (and my lab was left behind). Any ideas?"
Yammy raised his hand and spoke aloud, "we could raid grocery stores."
"Only you would find a reward in that, fat ass." Nnoitra interrupted.
"Oh yeah? And I suppose you have a better idea?"
"As a matter-of-fact I do. I say we go around raping humans." Nnoitra stuck out his chin.
"Should've known you'd come up with that." Yammy face palmed.
"That's just disgusting and unpleasurable anyhow. Please tell me someone has a better idea?" Szayel made a puking motion then cocked an eyebrow and looked around.
"How about we do some research on what our human lives were like? I've always wondered how I died to end up like this." Grimmjow blurted in a passive manner.
"That would most likely require going back to Japan and therefore taking a chance in being attacked again, but it's not a bad idea." Szayel went off rubbing his chin in thought.
"I never thought you would come up with such a boring idea, Grimmjow. But I like the potential risk." Nnoitra winked at Grimmjow.
"Ew, don't make me barf! And it was just a suggestion," Grimmjow fake-gagged.
"Let's see: we can't walk around with the way we look so I'd need to go back to my lab and make gigais for everyone, we'd also have to cloak our reiatsu as best as possible and we'd probably have to split up in two's seeing as though a group of ten is too suspicious which means we'd have to tag a meet-up place to share our gatherings." Szayel stated.
"We can just meet here," Grimmjow pointed out.
"Good point. Now for a set time—we can meet up every two weeks so that we can never lose each other. If a group doesn't show up, however, I'm going to assume that the two are dead and be done with it. Now who wants to go back to Hueco Mundo with me to make gigis?" Szayel finished.
"Oo! Oo! I will, I will!" Yammy bounced on his side of the log, sending Aaroniero flying in the air only to hit the dirt in front of him.
"Thanks, you Gorilla! You probably just wanna collect your dog and chicken stash anyways!" Aaroniero rubbed his butt and glared at Yammy.
"Come along now, Yammy." Szayel sliced open a garganta. "I should be back in a few moments, but if it so happens that a whole day passes, assume I'm dead. And you can all leave if you want, but just remember that you're being very stupid if you do. Tata!" Then the garganta closed shut, thus leaving all the other Espada to argue with one another.
"I'm supposing you're going to ditch, eh, Nnoitra?" Zommari accused.
"Fuck no! I wanna know how many babes I banged, man! How could I let myself die without knowing such an important detail?" Nnoitra preached then started rambling on about gangs and more 'babe' questions.
"I bet Ulquiorra died an old obedient butler for some little rich brat, too!" Aaroniero smirked and the rest of the Espada laughed except for a sleeping Stark, a daydreaming Hallibel, and Grimmjow and Ulquiorra.
"Nah, I don't think he was a butler. If anything he was probably a celebrity." Grimmjow sighed.
"Hey, what's it to you, Grimmjow? Since when are you taking the dog's side?" Nnoitra scoffed at Grimmjow.
"I never said that, fucktard! I'm just saying that he probably grew his lame persona the minute he was reborn into Las Noches is all." Grimmjow growled at Nnoitra.
"My beautiful mantis ass you do!" Nnoitra cooed.
"You wanna go, insect-squash?" Grimmjow stood.
"Fine, but you're going to need some kitty litter after I beat you so bad you'll piss yourself!"
"BASTARD!" Grimmjow roared.
"Guys, please you're going to attract shinigamis all the way over here with such flaring reiatsu," Stark stepped between them, suddenly awake from his long-awaited nap.
They both stomped on Stark's feet, but reluctantly returned to their log seats. "Oww," Stark hobbled back to his log 'bed'.
"Look, he still sits next to him," Nnoitra walked over and whispered in Aaroniero's ear—who giggled in return—then retired back to his still-empty log.
"Teme…!" Grimmjow crescendoed and was about to start up again when suddenly a garganta opened to reveal Yammy and Szayel.
Szayel stepped out, followed by Yammy, and started handing out gigais. "Ok!" he spoke as he turned around and dropped a skinny Yammy gigai in Yammy's frozen chicken-filled arms. How nice of him to make Yammy feel what he can never have. Yammy's fracción barked in response. "You go with him, and you go with him, and you go with him, and you go with her, and I guess I go with, oh heavens, you." Almost immediately everyone started complaining.
"Why Yammy? He's gonna make me raid every grocery store we pass!" Aaroniero cried.
"And why do I get stuck with the old man?" Zommari groaned.
"I could say the same for you, Aphrodite." Barragan replied nonchalantly.
"He's going to waste away most the days sleeping." Hallibel pointed at Stark.
"Huh, wha'd I miss?" Stark woke up and blinked, dumbfound, at Hallibel who just shook her head in turn.
"Why the hell am I stuck with the emo King? Is it because of the comment I said earlier? Oh wait, you didn't hear that one did you?" Grimmjow scooted away from Ulquiorra and screamed.
"Trash." Ulquiorra replied.
"Hello, pink-haired wonder. I'm so lucky to end up with someone as gorgeous and brilliant as you." Nnoitra winked and licked his bottom lip at Szayel.
"Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!" Szayel screamed like a whiney teenager. "You all ended up with who you did simply because you chose to sit next to them. Also because one happened to be smarter smart and the other a complete idiot. Example, Grimmjow—you are stupid and let your rage get the best of you. However, Ulquiorra is very intellectual and has a very calm demeanor which can benefit you greatly. So pretty much each idiot has an intelligence to help them in their research and give better hiding tips. Any other comments, complaints?"
Nobody spoke.
"Good. Now I'm gonna go off with Nnoitra while pretending I didn't hear that last, er, complaint he gave towards me. You all are on your own now for two weeks—best of luck to you!"
And with that, all the Espada—except for Starrk and Hallibel—threw on their gigais and walked off into different gargantuas with their partner, no longer very excited to find out about their past because of their awful partners.
And now, our story can truly begin now that the background is set in stone…
Author's E/N: Wow I just love writing in Third Person Omniscient, but sadly this is the only chapter that is written this way for the rest are Third Person limited like my usual bc first-person is weird for a fanfic! Also, sorry this chapter doesn't have much action, but it was meant specifically to show how they get there, anyhow.