Jackie walked into Leo's apartment with Donna; the boys were already there.
"What's going on?" Donna asked Eric.
"Leo is making us brownies." he said with a grin.
He looked excited- special brownies were one thing, but Leo making them? They were gonna watch the walls melt...
After Leo brought out the tray, and everyone had some, nothing seemed to be happening.
"Ah, Leo man?" Hyde asked gently. "Did you forget to put the 'special ingredient' in these special brownies?"
"Nah, man- I lifted it special from the police department evidence room; I'm banging one of the clerks." he said proudly.
"Wait, evidence 'special' should be extra special- I don't feel anything!" Kelso huffed.
"Leo, go get the bag the stuff was in?" Hyde advised, and followed him into the kitchen.
Leo pulled out something, and Hyde's eyes bugged. "Leo man... this is... sodium penthathol. Truth serum!"
"I thought we'd see a great truth, man... and that it'd be awesome!"
Hyde massaged his temples. "That's... okay, too late now, I'm gonna go check Jacks." he said, walking back in towards his girlfriend.
"You know what we should do? We should have a contest to see which of you girls has the best boobs." Kelso was saying as Hyde came in. "I mean, Donna's are bigger, but Jackie's are perkier..."
"I like that you like my boobs." Donna blurted, and a hand flew to her mouth.
Kelso was unaware of the Truth Serum filled brownie ingredients and grinned, "Donna, you've always had a nice rack. I often dreamed of sleeping on a pillow named Donna."
Donna smiled, "Really? Eric does that all the time!"
Eric looked around, "I do not! Okay, yeah…I do but I've never slept on a perky pillow."
Jackie glared at Eric, "and you never will …you spaz! Steven! Say something." Hyde grinned and liked the direction this brownie conversation was going.
Donna was looking down her shirt and reached under to unsnap the front closure. The bra fell off instantly. "Who wants a souvenir?"
She whirled the lacy undergarment around her finger. Fez clamored over Leo's sofa. "Me! Give it to me!"
Jackie gasped and was not to be outdone by a lumberjack! She stood up and pulled off her blouse. "Gaze and admire." She said showing off her peach Victoria Secret underwire. Eric choked on his brownie and Donna slapped him on the back. "Eric, if you ever want the real thing again, quit staring at Jackie."
Jackie made a big show of pushing her straps off her shoulders and down her arms. She reached behind her with one hand and unhooked the brassiere. Fez turned upside down on the sofa so he could view beauty from a different angle.
Donna was getting upset because Jackie was getting more attention. "Just take it off already!"
Eric held up his hand, "No, do it slowly. I mean take it off slowly….please." Kelso grinned, "Yeah, we want a good show, Donna was good, I mean if you want a quickie…."
Donna glared at Kelso, "and to think I was going to let you touch "the girls" but I've changed my mind. Leo was laughing, "Man, Clarice sees more during a strip search than what these girls are doing! Does anyone want to see my boobs?"
The entire group shouted, "NO!" Leo laughed, "You're just jealous cuz I have a tattoo under all this hair."
Steven's head swiveled around, "Leo, we've never seen you without a shirt, how could we know you had a tattoo?
Jackie stamped her foot, "Do you WANT me to take off my bra or not?" She was upset because everyone was involved in Leo's tattoo story. He pulled off his shirt and waved a hand over his hairy chest. "Right there is an eye. And over by the nipple is the other eye." He smoothed his hand over his ribs, and said, "Over here is her red dress and by my belly button are her black heels."
Eric exclaimed, "Oh my god, Leo has Betty Boop tattooed on his chest!"
Fez laughed with glees, "Let's shave him and watch Betty dance." Leo grabbed another brownie, "Okay, but I want a girl to shave me, not one of you dudes."
Kelso held up his hand. "I'm good with sharp knives!"
Hyde grinned, "No you butcher use a razor!" Kelso frowned, "Oh, I watched a barber shave someone once and I wanted to try it."
Donna pushed Kelso out of the way, "You tool, go get a razor, I'll do it. Jackie put your bra back on, it's distracting." Jackie pouted but Steven kissed her full lips and made her smile. He whispered, "You have the best rack in my opinion."
"Thanks Puddin. I love you too."
&&
Eric exclaimed, "Oh my god! Betty Boop has a tattoo of Leo!"
"But, I really need you to put the girls away, because the guys looking at them all... out there... would force me to poke their eyes out with my thumbs. Because, you know... my boobs." Hyde blurted.
Jackie's eyes lit up and she threw her arms around Hyde, kissing him soundly before putting "the girls" away, and walked over to see Leo getting shaved so that they could better see the tattoo. She wrinkled her nose at the foam-covered hair being just thrown to the floor.
Fez tilted his head slightly. "My naked lady on my ass is bigger." he said with a disappointed shrug. "And, she can pick up a quarter."
"Eric has a tattoo on his ass." Donna said proudly.
"We know- we were there when he got it, Big Red." Hyde said with an eyeroll.
"Well, it's funny- and cute that he was trying to be all badass."
"Hey, this ass was sore for three days, lady! I did it for you, you know."
"Well, I'm glad my Puddin' Pop doesn't have any tattoos yet, although it'd be hot if he got my name somewhere on him. But, not his butt. His butt's too cute to be marred like that. Besides," she admitted, "I'd want it to be seen, so everyone would know he's mine."
"Where did Puddin' Pop come from, anyway, Hyde?" Eric asked him, amused.
"She didn't know about BJs, because the idea of it when she was with Kelso it grossed her out, but, I used one of those pudding pops to show her how to do it properly, and she doesn't mind as long as it's right after a shower." Hyde blurted, and then grimaced. "Leo, damnit, man! Stupid brownies..."
Donna smirked. "What do you call her in secret since you wouldn't tell me that time I caught you in my room?"
"My little Cherry Muffin." he mumbled, glaring at Leo.
"Oh, you shut up, Donna- at least I know Steven loves me! And, one day, he's going to marry me, even if it's not now."
"Pfft, Hyde's never gonna marry you..." Kelso chortled. "He's never gonna marry anyone! He'll dump you, and then I'll be there to pick up the pieces... and pleasure you endlessly now that I know you do more stuff."
"I am so!" Hyde yelled at him, unable to have his walls up thanks to Leo's "truth brownies", and walked over menacingly towards Kelso. "I mean, I don't wanna be pressured about it, and I don't wanna do it now, but I do want to- hell, I even picked out some of our kids' names in my head, and... oh, shit."
"Oh Steven...I hate you for explaining the Pudding Pop...but I love you for picking out names...awww...you big softie. You wanna go work on those future babies?"
"What? No! That's future! I mean, sure we can practice...I think there's some clean pudding pops in the freezer..." he grinned.
Leo scooped up a finger of shaving cream, "Hey man, this looks so good I could eat this on a...who was talking about cherry muffins? I'm hungry...but no, don't start that lovey dovey talk."
Eric was admiring the tattoo and wondered, what would Leo look like without the beard? He rubbed his chin and motioned to Donna. "Leo, I'm just gonna trim that up for you."
"Oh, okay...I thought I saw a squirrel burrowing in there the other day. Oops! Did I say that out loud?" Leo scratched his head while Fez laughed. "trim! Oh ho that is a funny word I read in my Playboy magazine..."
Hyde looked at Fez, "Knock it off, it means something else."
&&&
"Uh...Donna...we better go...you didn't leave anything on his head. He's as bald as a baby's bottom."
"I know! It's freaking awesome!"
"What names were you thinking about Steven?" Jackie asked, looking at him dreamy-eyed.
Hyde pulled her into his lap on the couch.
"Well... I kind of thought flower names for the girls, like Rose or Violet or Daisy, and kick ass cool names for boys, like Colt or Magnum... or Harry."
"...Harry?" Eric asked, quirking an eyebrow.
"You know, like 'Dirty Harry'- or Harrison Ford, cause, he's cool."
"Aha! I knew you thought so!"
"We've still got plenty of shaving cream left..." Kelso said, looking at them all.
"You touch the fro, you're gonna die." Hyde warned him.
"Yes, and my hair is very sexy to the ladies! Well... when I happen to get a lady..." Fez amended.
"I wasn't talking about us, guys..." Kelso said suggestively, looking back and forth between Jackie and Donna.
"You wanna take first shot, Foreman, or should I? Cause, if I do there might be nothing left for you."
Donna took the shaving cream can from Kelso's hand. "You were thinking about us? Shaving us girls? And making Eric the bad guy?"
Kelso looked flummoxed. "Well, yeah cuz you know we totally did Leo and honestly, he looks so much better without all that hair."
Jackie grinned and reached out to touch Michael's feathered hair. "You think it's...sexy?" Kelso got a big smile on his face. If Jackie thought it was sexy..."Hell yeah!"
"Get him Donna!" Jackie pushed Michael backwards on the couch, knocking Fez to the floor. "Aaiiiyyy, my hair! Get that razor away from me you crazy woman!"
Donna strong-armed Kelso and Jackie lathered up her hands. Kelso's eyes bulged, "NO! That's not what I meant! Damn Donna, how are you so freakishly strong? Forman, help!"
Eric stepped back from Leo's tattered couch. He grabbed another Truth brownie and said, "Actually, I think it would be cool. You and Leo could look like Larry and Curly."
"Forman, I'm NOT a Stooge!"
Hyde laughed and patted Jackie on the butt. "Do a good job sweetie and I'll let you shave me later." Then he whispered so only Jackie could hear, "In other places."
Skritch...much screaming...skritch..."Oh god, hand me a mirror. I'm so pissed. Now I'm gonna look like the Stupid Helmet!" Kelso reached for the hand mirror and ran his palm over his smoothly shaved head. "Hey, I'm still pretty. Look at how long my eyelashes are!"
Leo woke up and screamed, "I"m white!" Kelso screamed, "No you're tan!"
"Your bald!" Leo laughed
Kelso felt his head again, "I bet I can impress the ladies..." he winked theatrically . Donna dropped his locks of hair onto the coffee table. "Kelso, that's just gross."
Jackie looked at Steven, "I don't know...it could be...sexy..." Hyde's eyes bugged and he pushed Fez at the girls and shouted "No more brownies! Ever!"
Eric looked at a fleeing Hyde, "What did he mean?" Donna whispered into his ear. "Oh. OH! Hey guys? Me and Donna gotta go!"
Fez and Leo looked at the remaining brownies and smiled. "That's more for the rest of us!"
